girlGoGo

I lost 240 pounds and have kept it off for 8 years.

Most people, including myself, would consider that quite an amazing accomplishment.  But not everyone.

I enlisted a trainer who created a cardio and weight training routine for me.  And I alone, with dedication and determination, did that workout every single day.  Is it any less of an accomplishment because I utilized a trainer?

With the guidance of a doctor assigned nutritionist, I ate the foods recommended and stayed away from the foods that weren't diet approved.   Is it any less of an accomplishment because I availed myself to a nutritionist?

So why do people insist on saying that because I had gastric bypass surgery, my 240 pound weight loss is anything less than accomplishment?

Why do I continue to be judged or thought less of just because of my choice of an approved weight loss method?

There are definitely two schools of thought on this topic:

1.  Those who believe that to maintain weight loss it's imperative to weigh yourself daily.

OR

2.  Those who do not believe in being a slave to the scale and only weigh once a week.

I belong to the first group.  Since having weight loss surgery I have weighed myself every day.  It's my way of ensuring that I stay on course and should the scale deviant from my set weight then I know it's time to make some changes.

Those changes can be a slightly stricter diet to increasing my cardio intensity until I'm back on track and where I know I need to be. This method of weight maintenance has worked for me for the past 6 1/2 years since reaching my goal weight.

There is always the risk of being a slave to the scale.  Allowing a piece of metal to determine your self-worth is not a healthy lifestyle or a healthy relationship with the scale.  I have those days on occasion.

For the most part however, the scale is my gauge.  My monitor.  My weight maintenance buddy.

Today is one of the odd  days.  The type of day where the scale reaffirms that I'm exactly where I need to be.  It's the mirror that is my foe today.

While working out in the gym, I examined myself in the mirror.  I don't know if what I saw was the truth or not, but what my mind saw was a slightly pudgy, soft and saggy body that needed to lose weight.

See even after 8 years, my mind still plays tricks on me.  It makes me see things that aren't truly there.  It reminds me of my old self but not in a look what I accomplished kind of way.  It's more of the disgusted, not happy, frustrated kind of way that doesn't live up to my expectations.

It's on days like today that I have to look at the facts: the scale told me the truth, my clothes tell me the truth, and the physical capabilities of my body tell me the truth.

I read an article today that talked about sitting and how it is reducing life expectancy.  A majority of the population spends most of their lives sitting.  Between the hours spent at work sitting in front of a computer to the hours spent at home watching television, we are literally putting the length of our lives at risk.  For every hour of television watched after the age of 25, life expectancy is reduced by 21.8 minutes.  For comparison, every one cigarette smoked, reduces life expectancy by 11 minutes.  (Get Up. Get Out. Don't Sit. by Gretchen Reynolds)

I spend most of my day sitting at a desk in front of a computer.  However, I do not spend much time watching television.  In fact, this evening I never turned the television on.

Instead, when I got home I dropped everything at the door, changed clothes and headed outside for an hour-long bike ride in the beautiful cool fall evening of South Florida.

I don't know what it is about riding my bike, but for me, it is pure and simple happiness.  I'm outside, I see all of the Earth's natural beauty, I feel the breeze on my skin, smell the crispness in the air, and I am transformed to a state of peace and contentment.

Growing up being overweight is a struggle for most people.  Growing up overweight for me was devastating.

Even though I know today, with my adult mind, that my mother only wanted me to be happy and healthy, growing up she was only able to show me that I was a complete disappointment.  My mother wanted the perfect daughter, the pretty thin girl who could wear any outfit and look stunning.  Instead my mother and I had arguments in dressing rooms that ended with me in tears.  And I always knew by the disgusted look on her face when things were much too tight, that yet again I had disappointed her.

She tried desperately to get me to lose weight.  She'd dangle shopping sprees in front of me if I'd just diet really hard and lose 20 pounds.  I always failed.

In grade school, she'd make me baked chicken and lettuce for lunch and I was mortified when I had to eat in front of my classmates because they knew I was on a diet.  My mother constantly attempted to control what I ate and every chance I got I would sneak food so that I would have some type of control over my life.

When I finally decided to have weight loss surgery, my mother was there.  And since that day, I've become the perfect daughter she's always wanted.  It breaks my heart that my mother could never see what a wonderful person I am until the outside looked how she envisioned.

But, that's my mother's battle.  And I struggle daily to remind myself of that fact, to realize I've always been wonderful and beautiful and worthwhile and I'm not a failure.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would run, let alone run 5K races and half marathons.

But, here I am, after my first 5K race.  It was the Twilight 5K in South Miami.  http://twilight5k.org/

There was a torrential downpour before the race and I was just sure they would cancel.  All my nervousness and anxiety would be for nothing.  The excitement and thrill of accomplishing an athletic event for a girl who had never played any sport her entire life, was beyond expression.  I  was now about to embark on running a race with hundreds of other runners.

This past week, I had the opportunity to start working with a new client.  A client who needs help with motivation and encouragement to incorporate a healthier diet and exercise into her lifestyle.  She has enlisted me to lose, but it is I that has gained in the process.

She reminded me of my first day home from weight loss surgery some 8 years ago.  The day the work truly began.

Despite my embarrassment and shame of being 388 pounds, I changed into the baggiest pair of shorts and t-shirt I could find, put on my sneakers and proceeded down to the gym in my apartment building in the middle of the day to avoid running into anyone.

The doctors had told me that I could expect to lose about 150 pounds after surgery.  I wanted to weigh 150 pounds.

So I stepped on the treadmill and began walking.  I could only walk at a speed of 2.0 for 15 minutes.  But I did it!!!  Then I did it again the next day.  And the day after that.  I continued to walk on that treadmill every day until I was able to walk for 45 - 60 minutes at a 4.0 pace.

In this journey, not only did I lose a total of 240 pounds, but I gained the determination to lose all that weight, the patience to persevere through all the physical and mental changes, the persistence to endure the struggles, and the permanence to maintain this enormous accomplishment for the past 8 years.

One thing I've realized on this amazing journey is that until you change your attitude about exercising it will never become the necessary priority in your life.  For me, exercise is just like brushing my teeth.  Something I do everyday without ever thinking about it.

I never think about whether I feel like working out.

I never wonder when it will fit in my schedule.

This is me 8 years ago:

This is me today: 

Permanence, perseverence and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragement, and impossibilities: it is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.