I write fics!

Beetlejuice didn’t really sleep all that often. He figured that it was a cultural thing, the dead didn’t really have a need to sleep, and being born dead meant that he needed it even less, so it was never something that was emphasized to him.

The Maitlands on the other hand? Those sweet, practically still breathing they acted so alive “ghosts”? Every night. Like clockwork. Around nine they would start getting ready for bed and be asleep by ten. Then they stayed there, asleep, and cute for an entire eight hours, until they woke up around six. Barbara and Adam would make breakfast, Lydia would shuffle in half asleep as she got ready for school. Delia was always oddly alert in the morning, but Charles seemed to be exactly like his daughter, not awake until he was halfway through his day.

And yet, there was Beetlejuice. He was always awake, except for a couple nights a week that he slept. It was happening more and more, those darn Maitlands infecting him with a fondness for being held and cuddled for a very long time, but more often than not he ended up… lonely.

 It wasn’t unbearable like loneliness used to be, when Juno would abandon him for hours, days, or even weeks on end. This he knew would end, and he knew that he wasn’t being left alone out of hatred. It didn’t mean he wasn’t lonely though.

 Tonight was movie night, and even more special was that they were the only three in the house. Lydia was having a sleepover with her friends, and Delia and Charles were staying in a cabin for the weekend. That left Beetlejuice in charge of the house. Actually, Charles had specified no less than five times that Barbara was in charge, Adam was second in command, and Beetlejuice was “Not allowed to make a single decision beyond calling the fire department if needed”, but Beetlejuice figured that pretty much meant that he was in charge.

 Adam and Beetlejuice were on either side of Barb, and some horror movie was playing. It scared Adam, but Beetlejuice and Barb could only laugh and comfort the man that they loved. The demon kept glancing at the clock, and when he felt Adam moved, because Adam liked to get ready for bed first, he let out a little whine.

 “What’s wrong Beetlejuice?” Barbara said sweetly, running a hand through his rapidly purpling hair.

 “Could you two stay up with me tonight? C’mon it’ll be fun,” he said, dodging Barb’s question with all of the grace of an elephant competing in synchronized swimming.

 “Beetlejuice,” she said, her tone insistent.

 He let out a long and dramatic groan because he had a reputation to maintain as incredibly dramatic. “I don’t like being alone! And you two sleep for so long and you sleep every single night, I was thinking that, maybe, just this one time… You two could stay awake with me, instead of me making myself sleep.”

 Barb and Adam looked at each other, and it was an incredibly quick silent communication. “So, Beetlejuice, what do you usually do while we sleep?” Adam was leaning in as he spoke because he wanted Beetlejuice to know he was heard.

 “Uh, wait for you to wake up? What kind of question is that A-Dog? Only one of us can be stupid and hot, and I already fill that role.” He’s joking to hide how genuinely sad it is to say that he only sits around waiting for them, and also because he doesn’t want them to know about all the pranks, he pulls around town while they sleep. That’s a conversation for when he was more comfortable being scolded.

 Barb and Adam looked at each other again, and, almost wordlessly, sat on either side of Beetlejuice, snuggling up to the demon. He was a little surprised and stiff, but he settled his arms around them both. “So, what’s the plan?” The demon could barely hide how ecstatic he was that they hadn’t left him, and one of his hands was rapidly flapping.

 “Well, we’ll stay up with you and do whatever you want,” Barbara said, leaning up and kissing his cheek. “After all, you’ve slept next to us enough nights. I think you’ve earned this love bug.”

 “I have one idea,” he said, eyes darting towards the bedroom.

 “I thought you didn’t want to- OH!” Adam’s face had changed from confused to surprised in an instant. “That sounds nice. I mean, yeah! Let’s-“

 “Adam we’ve been dating for months, just say you want to fuck.”

 “I will not.”

Beetlelands/Goldenbeetle

Honestly..."you're 16 you should know pedophilia isn't normal" no longer applies in this day and age where kids are exposed to so much porn whenever they start to like a tv show or movie. I personally experienced my first online fandom at eight years old. I was exposed to porn immediately and I never felt comfortable speaking to any adults about it because, as you all know, we live in a very anti-sex pro-child abuse society. We have to acknowledge this when talking about incest and pedophilia in fandoms, and we have to start making it very very clear that if you are 21 or younger and you think incest, any kind of minor/adult sexual or romantic relationships, or minors in kink is normal, we aren't upset with you, but you have to understand that is not okay. Whoever made you believe it's okay was a very dangerous person. They were manipulating you. You need to change your opinions and you can do with lots of rehabilitation and relearning. It might be difficult but we believe in you.

I’m not writing your weird-ass thinly veiled fetish requests. You are not subtle, you are not funny, you’re just gross. If you want NSFW written, sure, I’ll give it a shot, but do not come into my inbox or DMs asking for something that is obviously your fetish without saying what it is and acting like it’s an innocent request.

What’s worse is both of these people included Lydia in their request, which just makes it all the more despicable.

However, some of you might wonder why exactly this is bad, when the request itself would seem innocent to an outside observer. So I’ll explain why.

Consent is important in every situation, but consent doesn’t just mean that I have agreed to something. It also means that I know all of the details of what I’m agreeing to. When I don’t know that there is a sexual undertone to something I write as a request, that violates my consent. As the requester, they have put me in a sexual situation without my consent. See the problem?

Anyways, the short of this is don’t be fucking horrible.