Best Pick Up Lines

Just ate McDonalds after working out. which is the same as taking a shit after a shower.

How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? They're both famous for stuffing baskets!

*writes paper* this doesnt make any sense *prints it* *doesn’t proofread* *hands it in for a grade*

me: *gets hit by a car* me: sorry

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.

You're hotter than Papa Bear's porridge.

Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

I need a dollar, but I only have 90 cents... do you want to be my dime?

Are you my phone charger? Because without you, I'd die.

Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.

Your snapchat story isn't even a thing until your crush has viewed it

Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?

You look like my third wife. [how many time have you been married?] Twice.

Can you take me to the doctor? Because I just broke my leg falling for you.

If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.