I find myself abiding by these words a whole lot. Especially around here where a lot of people try to take everyone’s smile away – but that is why I am staying. That is why I am not running away. I want to try being a reason people smile, I want to try letting everyone have fun no matter what circulates in the air. This is all meant to be fun.
I cannot explain how genuinely thankful I am for each and every single one of my followers. All of you give me the drive to keep going without letting this drama effect me – you give me the courage to go against the things being said about me, to be the better person and not give in to the temptation of responding. I understand how difficult all of this is to be around, I understand how some people may doubt my words and think of me as someone who is toxic. I used to be someone like that. I want to live it down! But it’s OK if nobody wants me to! It’s OK if I get reminded of my mistakes! It helps me look back and make sure not to ever be like that again!
To all who stay with me – please know. If you wish to believe what is being said about me – if you wish to not follow me and stay away from me due to what is centering toward me, or if you wish to just no longer be my friend due to my involvement in this drama – I will never hold that decision against you. Actually, I wholeheartedly encourage you steer away from me if that is what you wish – I do not want you to be uncomfortable. I want you to be happy. I want you to be your best in this fandom – if me being part of your blog hinders that, please, PLEASE – unfollow me. At the very least, I will know that you are doing your best once again.
No matter how hard I get hit by any of the things being said about me, I will continue to strive at a better tomorrow in this fandom – I love it to pieces, even if it hates me sometimes. That’s why I make so many positive posts! I want you all to know to stay positive! No matter what – no matter how hard or scary things get, it’s best to turn your back and continue forth!
The information itself is already out there – so I will include it here. I was originally Phantom, porteur-of-arondight, etc etc. I made many mistakes under that alias, I regret many things; I left the fandom upon my realization at the mistakes I created – and I came back when I assured myself my break was over. I was afraid of coming back, because I knew what I had done wrong. I took the name of Devil up – but I did not hide myself as Phantom. I reached out to those I hurt, I reached out to those I upset – I apologized. I STILL apologize to them to this day, I will never NOT apologize, even if they get annoyed at me for doing it. Does this make what I did right? Not at all. But I am still trying my best not to ever be like that again!
I will take as many hits as it takes to protect the remainder of this fandom from senseless drama – I will endure as much as I need to to make sure you all continue to have fun. As silly as that sounds and as stubborn I may be, I will happily take all of the drama onto myself for you all – to help you all continue to have fun. This isn’t me saying this for some sort of redemption at my reputation – I care little for how I am viewed in this fandom. I care about all of you, all of you wonderful writers who do your greatest to bring the characters you portray to life – that is what makes my decision at staying in this fandom so much more worth it.
As long as I can continue forth in this fandom with at least one person pushing themselves to interact with me – I will not let anything hurt my pride or my happiness as a writer. I will not let myself be bullied into a corner, and I will continue to smile within this fandom.
The Fate Fandom may hold many bad memories for me, but – it holds so many good memories that the bad memories are mostly non-existent. I met people like Siegs, Mags, Cent, Kirby, Jead, Kae, Lulu, Vixx, Artorias, Skoll, Anna, Mellu, Sere, Kayla, Sades, Raine, Kao, Hails, Zero, Aura, Blue, Rica – and SO many more I can’t even THINK to name because there are so many amazing people here. These people are my family. They mean so much to me – and even despite my past, specifically with Siegs/Mags/Cent/Jead/Kae/Lulu, they are letting me try again. They are letting me try to be a better person, and it honestly makes me cry? It means so much to me.
Most importantly, although I do not want to put people above one another, I am most grateful for meeting Norgie – not just because she is my girlfriend, but even before we began dating – this woman devoted a few nights to cheering me up as a simple friend – she took time off from her blog just to make sure I was happy. For many more reasons and this reason too, I am so proud to say that I have such a WONDERFUL woman by my aide – and many friends to top it all off, too.
Nothing will ever be sunshine and rainbows, nothing will ever be the greatest – but we can all pitch in and do our best. I’m just a pebble compared to how truly amazing the people in this fandom can be. But that’s why I want to be as positive as possible – while I am a pebble, I want to help inspire people to do the very thing I’m trying to do; stay positive!
I may be known as Devil, but I’m trying my best to be a good person. I hope you can all, even if you dislike me, acknowledge that. I don’t mind if you don’t like me or talk about my past as a means to dislike me! I just want you all to know – please, be positive. Make sure this fandom keeps the small good light it has.
romaincrisis
amandla
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
tangentwithtanner
dailybridgerton
gracieabrams
