bracket for all the moms out there who simply suck

Ellen Tigh:

Unwitting robo-mom to a race of sentient evil-ish robots (Cylons). Didn't have her memory for most of her time on the show and spent her time as a "human" as an abusive alcoholic Lady Macbeth figure who harassed her husband into poor political decisions and never would have chosen to have children, only to learn upon her death and resurrection that she had thousands. One of her sons killed another out of jealousy over her attention. Failmilf of all time

Raven Branwen:

she was raised in a bandit tribe and trained as one of the most powerful warriors in the world so that she could KILL other warriors who were challenging her tribe. but while she was training she met someone and had a baby with him, but when her daughter was young she abandoned them to rejoin the bandit tribe. when her daughter loses her arm and almost dies raven doesn't even go to see if she's okay. and when her daughter finally comes to find her after eighteen years of being abandoned, raven says "after all this time you finally came to see me?" she's horrible. i love her so much

Bree Van De Kamp:

Submission 1: number one homophobic republican queen of my heart. why bash deadbeat mothers but never question if andrew and danielle had bad vibes or simply unpleasant to be around

Submission 2: Look. It is not Bree’s fault that her children have bad vibes and are unpleasant to be around. Is she a failure as a mother or are they failures as children? She is however very hot, in part because she is totally unhinged and that’s kind of hot.

Additional comments: Don’t let the title fool you, Desperate Housewives is not a reality show

Violetta King:

Zannah of Khera/Zealot:

Lied to everyone including her daughter for like 3000 saying they were actually sisters. Even as "sisters" had a very strained relationship and would go decades without seeing or talking to each other because they would fight.

Additional comments: she's got another kid but that ones much more straightforward "gave him up for adoption when he was born" so this aint about him

Ceroba:

Tharja:

sure, she did use her daughter as a test subject for all kinds of curses and hexes, but have you considered that she was simply living the #gothlife

Medusa Gorgon:

EVA 01:

brought her son to watch her soul get absorbed into a giant flesh robot. and then used him as a conduit to cause the end times. also hot robot.

Lu Wei:

Thalassa Gramarye/Lamiroir:

Literally THE deadbeat mom ... she lost her first kid so she had another and then, when given the opportunity to tell them they're siblings and she's their mother, she straight up decided just not to. it has been years.

Inari Yoko:

Submission 1: Inari Yoko has a son named Nobimaru who is so detached from her he refers to her solely as his employer. They are on such bad terms he changed his hair color so as not to resemble her. And you know what? A few weeks after she sent him away (age 10) to prep her plans to conquer Tokyo, she went and ate a whole nother village and stole & brainwashed ANOTHER child, named Kon, whom she essentially raised as her daughter/personal assassin. Kon has never met Nobimaru. When Kon fails a mission at the beginning of the series (14) she completely forgets she exists and abandons her to live in a park. She wants to take over the country and become Prime Minister so she can control everyone with her bewitching stone and evil fox weed, because she wants to remold humanity to her whims and become 'Mother of All Creation', but when she DOES become PM she's an absentee ass mother to the whole country too. Nobimaru's holding this shit together with duct tape and the evil oni arm he replaced his with after Inari failed to tell him his hand would be destroyed by an item she told him to retrieve. She has insane abandonment issues and if you try to walk out on her she will CRAZY murder you but if you fail her she will forget you even had a name. She loves being like 'teehee time to freshen up with a hot bath!' and leave the child of the day to clean up her tantrum. She tells her son he's not cute at all. In the first chapter we see him he says that he hates her. He is her right hand man and I don't even know if he gets paid. And again, she somehow NEVER had him and her 'adopted daughter' interact at any point over the span of a DECADE. Truly this woman has deadbeat mothered her way to the top.

Additional comments: she's a kitsune and cannibal also which is pretty swag honestly

Onyxia:

average mother moment: uses her children against you as a boss mechanic and doesn't even get mad at you for killing like 20 of them

Additional comment: i know she isnt the MOST awful mother or whatever but i felt the need to submit her. you understand.

Big Mom/Charlotte Linlin:

Thalassa Gramarye/Lamiroir:

Literally THE deadbeat mom ... she lost her first kid so she had another and then, when given the opportunity to tell them they're siblings and she's their mother, she straight up decided just not to. it has been years.

Inari Yoko:

Submission 1: Inari Yoko has a son named Nobimaru who is so detached from her he refers to her solely as his employer. They are on such bad terms he changed his hair color so as not to resemble her. And you know what? A few weeks after she sent him away (age 10) to prep her plans to conquer Tokyo, she went and ate a whole nother village and stole & brainwashed ANOTHER child, named Kon, whom she essentially raised as her daughter/personal assassin. Kon has never met Nobimaru. When Kon fails a mission at the beginning of the series (14) she completely forgets she exists and abandons her to live in a park. She wants to take over the country and become Prime Minister so she can control everyone with her bewitching stone and evil fox weed, because she wants to remold humanity to her whims and become 'Mother of All Creation', but when she DOES become PM she's an absentee ass mother to the whole country too. Nobimaru's holding this shit together with duct tape and the evil oni arm he replaced his with after Inari failed to tell him his hand would be destroyed by an item she told him to retrieve. She has insane abandonment issues and if you try to walk out on her she will CRAZY murder you but if you fail her she will forget you even had a name. She loves being like 'teehee time to freshen up with a hot bath!' and leave the child of the day to clean up her tantrum. She tells her son he's not cute at all. In the first chapter we see him he says that he hates her. He is her right hand man and I don't even know if he gets paid. And again, she somehow NEVER had him and her 'adopted daughter' interact at any point over the span of a DECADE. Truly this woman has deadbeat mothered her way to the top.

Additional comments: she's a kitsune and cannibal also which is pretty swag honestly

Onyxia:

average mother moment: uses her children against you as a boss mechanic and doesn't even get mad at you for killing like 20 of them

Additional comment: i know she isnt the MOST awful mother or whatever but i felt the need to submit her. you understand.

Big Mom/Charlotte Linlin:

Thalassa Gramarye/Lamiroir:

Literally THE deadbeat mom ... she lost her first kid so she had another and then, when given the opportunity to tell them they're siblings and she's their mother, she straight up decided just not to. it has been years.

Inari Yoko:

Submission 1: Inari Yoko has a son named Nobimaru who is so detached from her he refers to her solely as his employer. They are on such bad terms he changed his hair color so as not to resemble her. And you know what? A few weeks after she sent him away (age 10) to prep her plans to conquer Tokyo, she went and ate a whole nother village and stole & brainwashed ANOTHER child, named Kon, whom she essentially raised as her daughter/personal assassin. Kon has never met Nobimaru. When Kon fails a mission at the beginning of the series (14) she completely forgets she exists and abandons her to live in a park. She wants to take over the country and become Prime Minister so she can control everyone with her bewitching stone and evil fox weed, because she wants to remold humanity to her whims and become 'Mother of All Creation', but when she DOES become PM she's an absentee ass mother to the whole country too. Nobimaru's holding this shit together with duct tape and the evil oni arm he replaced his with after Inari failed to tell him his hand would be destroyed by an item she told him to retrieve. She has insane abandonment issues and if you try to walk out on her she will CRAZY murder you but if you fail her she will forget you even had a name. She loves being like 'teehee time to freshen up with a hot bath!' and leave the child of the day to clean up her tantrum. She tells her son he's not cute at all. In the first chapter we see him he says that he hates her. He is her right hand man and I don't even know if he gets paid. And again, she somehow NEVER had him and her 'adopted daughter' interact at any point over the span of a DECADE. Truly this woman has deadbeat mothered her way to the top.

Additional comments: she's a kitsune and cannibal also which is pretty swag honestly

EVA 01:

brought her son to watch her soul get absorbed into a giant flesh robot. and then used him as a conduit to cause the end times. also hot robot.

Lu Wei:

Tharja:

sure, she did use her daughter as a test subject for all kinds of curses and hexes, but have you considered that she was simply living the #gothlife

Medusa Gorgon:

Zannah of Khera/Zealot:

Lied to everyone including her daughter for like 3000 saying they were actually sisters. Even as "sisters" had a very strained relationship and would go decades without seeing or talking to each other because they would fight.

Additional comments: she's got another kid but that ones much more straightforward "gave him up for adoption when he was born" so this aint about him

Ceroba:

Bree Van De Kamp:

Submission 1: number one homophobic republican queen of my heart. why bash deadbeat mothers but never question if andrew and danielle had bad vibes or simply unpleasant to be around

Submission 2: Look. It is not Bree’s fault that her children have bad vibes and are unpleasant to be around. Is she a failure as a mother or are they failures as children? She is however very hot, in part because she is totally unhinged and that’s kind of hot.

Additional comments: Don’t let the title fool you, Desperate Housewives is not a reality show

Violetta King: