MAN OUT OF TIME

HE HATES FEELING WEAK. BUT THAT’S WHAT HE feels right now. Weak. Feeble. He’s put every bit of energy he has left into staying upright as they go into the compound, his legs trembling beneath him. If not for Steve supporting him, he’s fairly certain he’d have collapsed the second he stepped off the ship.

The super soldier is the last person he wants help from but he doesn’t have much choice in the matter so he just grits his teeth and bears it. Then they’re inside and he’s in a hospital bed getting stabbed by needles and hooked up to MACHINES. Pepper is there, hovering at his side just like Steve is but then she’s leaving the room, talking to the medic and he’s left there with just the other man.  ❝ What? ❞  Tony’s eyes lift to Steve’s, his gaze cold.

HE  FEELS  WINDED  -----  like  every  bit  of  his  brain  is  just  . . .  frozen.       what  was  he  supposed  to  say  to  make  this  up  to  him  . . . ?           pepper  is  there  before  he  can  say  anything  else  -------  of  course  pepper  is  there.           (  that’s  his  fiance.       you’re  just  his  FRIEND  ,  steven.      you  blew  your  chance.   )             he  swallows  the  lump  in  his  throat  &&  takes  a  moment  to  collect  his  thoughts  before  he  refocuses  on  tony.         

          It was like experiencing an extreme form of whiplash: From one second to the next, he was fighting against aliens in Wakanda, then he was walking through a glowing portal to the next battle (apparently five years later) at a heavily destroyed Avengers compound. When the fight was finally over and the monstrous creatures dissolved into ash, he just stood next to the wreckage of iron buttresses and tried to come to terms with the fact that he’d lost another five years and that Steve, apparently, shared Thor’s powers now. 

           Then, of course, Steve limped over to him, looking joyful and happy even despite all the soot and grime covering his whole body, and ––

           To say Bucky was dazed would be an understatement. He blinked at his friend, then slowly lifted his hand to touch his own lips that were still tingling a little from the kiss. The kiss Steve had planted on his lips in front of fucking everyone. He was pretty certain he could hear Shuri laugh somewhere. “Well, all right,” he said slowly. “But if it takes you another five years to give me a kiss, I’m going to punch you in the dick, Rogers.”

LAUGHTER  TUMBLES  FROM  THE  SOLDIERS LIPS  ,  gaze  soft  as  he  eyes  his  best  friend.           ❛    easy  ,  buck  ----------  i  wouldn’t  dream  of  waiting  anymore.      NO  PUNCHING  NEEDED  ,  I  SWEAR.  ❜          he  shakes  his  head  ,  thumbs  brushing  the  others  cheeks  as  he  reels  in  the  fact  that  bucky  was  alive  &  real  in  front  of  him.              in  fact  ,  he  makes  good  on  his  word  --------  he  leans  back  over  &  kisses  him  again  ,  deep  &  passionate. 

     HER HEART SEEMED TO BE RACING within her chest, almost with a bruising force against the inside of her ribs, rattling her ribcage with each new beat - Natalia could feel the excitement surging through her veins, each and every single nerve ending on her body sparkling with pleasure. The redhead had never felt this way, never allowed herself to feel more than simple FRIENDSHIP or a familiar bond with another person and yet - here she was. Here they were.

“I love you, so much.” Natalia whispered right back, settling into the new position comfortably, her arms wrapping loosely around Steve’s neck. She brought them man even closer, her breasts pressed into his chest as if not allowing a single inch of space between their bodies. The woman pulled back from the kiss a second later, panting quietly, smirking down at her fiance. She placed her hands on his chest, slowly wandering lower and LOWER until she grasped the hem of the shirt he wore and slowly began to tug it up - higher, higher…. “Arms up.” Natalia ordered with a playful smirk, ready to tug the garment off of the Soldier’s frame and then push him back onto the bed to lavish his bare skin with kisses.

SHE  DOESN’T  HAVE  TO  TELL  HIM  TWICE  -------  his  arms  raise  to  allow  her  to  pull  his  shirt  off  ,  but  before  she  can  do  anything  else  ,  he  returns  the  favor.          when  her  shirt  is  pulled  over  her  head  ,  baby  blues  glance  down  at  her  chest  ,  cheeks  flushing  up  to  his  ears.         he  hides  his  face  in  the  crook  of  her  neck  ,  lips  returning  to  their  earlier  job  of  kissing  her  soft  skin.      hands  all  the  while  slide  up  her  sides  to  take  advantage  of  the  boost  to  his  bravery ,  cupping  her  bra  to  squeeze  her  breasts once  gently.           

      HIS TOUCH FELT AS IF SHE WAS BEING BURNT from the sparks of pleasure that errupted wherever Steve’s fingers reached, wherever his skin grazed her own. There was something magical and ENTICING in the way the man always seemed to steal her breath away, no matter how many times they kissed, how many times they held hands - he was still full of surprises, still keeping her on her toes. Natalia never thought this would be possible. That ANY man wold ever hold her interest for longer than two weeks at the most. Yet, here they were - all it took was an exceptionally rare man. One of a kind.

“Steve.” Her gasp broke their kiss when Rogers picked her up with no difficulty, no strain - carrying her bridal style towards the bedroom. The bedroom that had never been properly christened after all, all they did in there was a few kisses, a few playful touches - never any of the serious stuff. Not that Natalia minded terribly. Being held by Steve? Kissed by Steve? It was so much more than she could ever imagine.

“Don’t overthink.” Natalia whispered, tilting her head to the side to give the Soldier more room when his lips continued to tease her, knowing perfectly what kind of a reaction it would get out of her. “This is good, do that again.”

HER  WORDS  HELP   ----   takes  the  pressure  off  of  him  to  just  know  how  to  treat  her.         sure  ,  he  knew  what  bucky  liked  ,  but  nat  was  a  new  lesson  to  learn.         so  he  rubs  his  hand  against  her  thigh  as  he  kisses  her  neck  ,  tracing  the  curve  of  her  throat  down  to  her  shoulder.       his  teeth  bite  against  her  pulse  point  ,  lips  sucking  on  the  soft  skin  right  after  in  hopes  of  leaving  a  purple tint  to  her  skin.          

       THE TOPIC SEEMED ALMOST TOO REAL in their case. The fact that at any given momen they could be gone from this world a terrifying thought but also a real threat those days. She was constantly aware of it, constantly trying to fix what mistakes had been done, still stupidly believing that maybe this would all pass if they only found the right way to do this. That maybe it was not too late.

“Steve, don’t say that.” Natalia shook her head, touching her forehead to his as her hands cupped his cheeks “Please don’t say that.” The redhead added in a soft whisper before sitting upright again when the man spoke - his decision clear in his voice. “I love you too.” She replied almost as if it was a reflex, a habit, every single time assuring the blond man that her feelings for him were just as strong - just as INTENSE as his were towards her. 

“Why not…” The woman chuckled softly and then leaned forward, her lips pressing to his in a deep, passionate kiss. A kiss with so much MORE than all the kisses they shared until now, so much more of love, need, a roaring fire of LUST overtaking it all. “The bedroom.” Natalia hummed into the kiss a second later “We need the bed.”

he  knows  neither  of  them  wants  to  think  about  the  risks  posed  to  both  of  them.             it’s  scary  &  unnerving  &  too  real.          but  that  was  all  the  more  reason  to  not  waste  the  time  they  had.           he  brushes  her  hair  away  from  her  face  ,  hooking  red  strand  behind  her  ear.           he  knows  she  means  what  she  says  -----  she  has  no  reason  to  lie  to  him.             what  did  she  gain  from  getting   his  love  other  than  being  loved  in  return  ?   

the  kiss  takes  him  by  surprise  ,  though  he  knows  it  shouldn’t.         his  hand  slides  up  her  spine  ,  fingers  grasping  the  soft  fabric  of  her  shirt.           as  he  melts  into  the  kiss  ,  starting  to  let  himself  really  get  into  it  ,  she’s  talking  again  -------  BEDROOM.       right.      bed.       better  than  couch.            he  chuckles  at  his  own  simplistic  thoughts.  

    THE SILENCE FILLED WITH AN EASY LAUGH as Natalia threw her head back and let out the sound of amusement into the air. NOT LIKE BUNNIES. The blush on Steve’s cheeks was enough of a giveaway that his denying words were nothing but a lie. And she didn’t expect anything less to be completely honest - she knew how passionate and loving Steve could be. She had witnessed it first-hand, experienced it on her own skin, why wouldn’t he be the very same towards Bucky? His - possibly first - great love.

The redhead groaned playfully at the kiss, though she didn’t pull away, didn’t even make a move to pull back. Instead, her arms loosely wrapped around the man’s neck, holding onto Steve a little tighter than before. His hands wandering across her body - cupping her cheek - her breath hitched in response to the new touch. Enjoying it greatly. It was enough to distract her for a split of a moment so that the sense of Steve’s words didn’t register in her head at first. And when it did, there was a sparkle of surprise in Natalia’s eyes, arching a brow as she pulled back enough to fully look at the soldier “Are you sure?” The Widow asked, voice soft, gentle, making sure he didn’t think she was PRESSURING him to make a choice “We don’t have to do anything, Steve - god I sound like such a stereotypical boyfriend trying to lure his girl to bed.”

he  meets  her  gaze  ,  baby  blues  searching  her  expression  for  some  sign  that  she  didn’t  want  this.            a  soft  little  sigh  escapes  him  before  he  cups  her  face  ,  allowing  him  to  lean  up  &  kiss  her  forehead  ,  then  her  nose  ,  &&  finally  her  lips.            ❛     you’re  going  to  be  my  wife  ,  nat.       there’s  no  one  else  i  want  to  do  this  with.     &&  --------   WAITING  . . .   honestly  ,  it  scares  me  these  days.       i  don’t  like  the  idea  of  tomorrow  not  being  guaranteed.           n-not  to  say  i  couldn’t  be  satisfied  dying  without  ever  sleeping  with  you  ,  but  -------      ❜              he  laughs  at  himself  &  shakes  his  head. 

     SOFT KISSES WERE PRESSED TO STEVE’S jawline and cheek wherever she could reach from her position in the man’s lap. Her hands tracing and wandering across the man’s chest, taking in the hard muscle underneath the shirt he wore - but not going anywhere BEYOND just touching. Despite what ideas kept running through her head, how many possibilities she already saw with the position they were in — she promised. And she would keep her promise.

There was a soft humm when Steve kissed her, her attention IMMADIATELY pulled to how soft and sweet the man’s lips seemed against her own. She responded to the kiss, biting gently at his lower lip but not enough to HURT - just a tease. Natalia arched a brow when his hand squeezed at her thigh - there was more touches, more BOLD touches, than ever and she was finding it harder to control herself. She noted the change in Steve’s voice, lower, huskier, as if strained by something. And it all became clear when the man began to talk, though shocking her enough that she remained still and silent for a beat longer.

“You can’t just say boys don’t count, baby.” Natalia teased, shaking her head - if Steve and Bucky had done more than hold hands and kiss, that was definitely a break of the vow the man wanted to keep. But it still didn’t mean it was POINTLESS “I should have known you and Bucky fucked like bunnies.” The redhead grinned, looking down at Steve with amusement. She leaned down to steal another quick kiss a second later, nudging his nose with hers “It’s your call, Steve, we can still WAIT until marriage, have it as our own relationship being pure until the wedding.” She pointed out. It’s not like she was a blushing virgin either. “—or we can fuck right here and right now, your call.”

HE  LIKES  NOTICING  THE  LITTLE  CHANGES  ABOUT  HER  whenever  they  both  got  a  little  too  close  for  a  couple  restraining  the  way  they have  been.             the  way  her  breath  hitches  or  her  body  tenses.             her  words  make  him  blush  down  from  his  neck  to  his  ears.          he  snorts  &  ducks  his  head  ,  avoiding  her  gaze.          ❛   n-not  like  BUNNIES. . .    ❜           he  scoffs  ,  laughing  softly  all  the  same.             

      SHE DIDN’T COMPLAIN IN THE SLIGHTEST as strong arms pulled her into the warm embrace of Steve’s frame, his closeness immediately allowing her to relax and just let loose. The stress and WORRY leaving her system, all that remained being calmness and happiness and pure, undeniably overwhelming love. There was nothing else in this world that she loved more than Steve, nothing and no one else that she would ever put above him - maybe that is exactly why she sometimes became too intense, too curious, too — EVERYTHING. Out of fear of loosing him.

“Steve.” Natalia groaned playfully, though she tilted her head to the side to allow the man more room to bite at her sensitive skin again. He knew just how to tease her, how to work her up. “I’ve had enough of acts, lies and masks in my life.” The redhead added, a little bit more serious now, gazing into his pretty eyes with a sweet smile “I want nothing but the truth, and this is the real you - the man I love more than life itself.” She admitted, chuckling before she bent down to peck the tip of his nose “—even when the man is a stubborn idiot who enjoys rushing head-first into battle but will BLUSH when I hold his hand.”

AN  AMUSED  LITTLE  GIGGLE  escapes  the  super-soldier  at  the  very  correct  comment.         he  couldn’t  help  himself  -----  he  could  run  headlong  into  danger  ,  but  putting  himself  within  range  of  actual  human  affection  ?        terrifying.           he  craved  it  ,  but  never  knew  how  to  respond  around  it.         only  with  women  ,  though  ----  that  much  was  clear.  

         ALRIGHT SO MAYBE HE WAS - at least somewhat - correct. She definitely was not the easiest character to start building your confidence around. She was not one of those women Steve could have gotten used to back in the day - the complete opposite, actually. There was not an ounce of shyness within her body, not a single streak of politeness in the way Steve knew it. She didn’t bake cookies and wait for her man at home. She didn’t sow, didn’t iron clothes - didn’t wait and smile for a man to make the first move.

“Steve, you put a ring on my finger, I don’t think I’m THAT intimidating anymore.” Natalia pointed out with a chuckle, lifting her hand to show the sparkling gem on her pale digit. The redhead then sighed and shook her head a little bit “No.” She answered easily “I want you to act the way YOU want to act, Steve.” Natalia assured him, playfully poking at the man’s cheek when he lifted her hand to kiss her wrist “I fell in love with your blushing, shy, idiot - self.” The woman grinned “Just be yourself.”

a  soft  little  hum  escapes  him  as  he  listens  to  her.           he’s  grateful  that  he’s  not  expected  to  act  any  different  --------  he  would  ,  if  she  wanted  ,  but  it  was  definitely  pushing  his  comfort  limits.          he  smiles  back  at  her  &  tugs  her  over  to  sit  on  his  lap.   

     MAYBE SHE WAS TRULY SEARCHING FOR A HOLE IN A WHOLE? Maybe it was just her mind playing games? She just was too surprised to let the situation pass without a comment. To see the STEVEN GRANT ROGERS, blushing idiot 90% of the time, suddenly so in charge, so suave and so sure of himself - was a huge shock to the woman.

“Girls are INTIMIDATING?” Natalia asked with an arched brow, not even sure she was understanding him corrently. The redhead chuckled softly a second later, the fingers squeezing at her calf and massaging her leg working pretty well on LOOSENING her up and making her forget of it all. “Steve.” She sook her head, fingers threading through the man’s hair softly, slowly, SCRATCHING at his scalp with her fingernails in just the spots she knew he LIKED being given such treatment. There were so many things she knew about him. So many FAMILIAR things. “You don’t have to change for me, I don’t want that - I was just shocked, not knowing how to behave because I didn’t know there was a difference in how you act around men compared to women. I thought it was just BUCKY who made you comfortable enough.”

❛    THEY  ARE  !         have  you  met  yourself  ?           intimidating.     ❜        he  laughs  gently  &  leans  towards  her  hand  ,  eyes  closing  as  he  nuzzles  his  head  towards  the  touch.           he’s  grateful  that  seeing  him  like  that  hadn’t  raised  any  expectations  of  him.          it  was  true  that  bucky  certainly  made  him  more  comfortable  than  anyone  ,  but  it  was  also  just  men  in  general.          he  knew  men  ---  women  were  a  mystery  ,  no  matter  how  long  he  spent  around  them.      

@romcnovc​  ---  angst. Hit me up. Have steeb sobbing bc nat died. Thank you.

IT  WAS  OVER.          the  fight  was  done.            &&  the  god  damn  ring  on  his  hand  felt  like  a  two-ton  bolder  ,  dragging  him  down.             when  he  first  learned  what  happened  ,  he  couldn’t  do  anything  about  it  ------------------  all  he  could  do  was  continue  the  fight  ;  defeat  thanos.          but  now  that  it  was  all  said  &  done  ,  he  was  helpless.           he’s  been  sitting  here  on  this  dock  ,  staring  at  the  water  through  bleary  eyes  for  the  last  two  hours.              the  funeral  had  been  a  joint  thing  for  both  nat  &  tony  ---------    tony  getting  the  bigger  spectacle  for  his  final  act.             steve  didn’t  have  enough  fight  in  him  to  do  anything  about  that.          

he  was  out  of  big  speeches.          out  of  words  of  encouragement.           there  was  nothing  but  this  emptiness  that  kept  crawling  up  his  spine.          bucky  was  back.       sam  was  back.        the  world  was  safe.           but  the  love  of  his  life  ?           gone.           &&  there  wasn’t  a  damn  thing  he  could  do  about  it.      

there’s  a  rose  in  his  hand  ,  stem  spun  between  fingers  as  he  stares  ahead  of  himself  ,  not  really  seeing  anything.         people  have  come  to  try  &  talk  to  him.           get  him  to  go  inside  &  eat  something.         he’s  not  said  a  word.         just  . . .   sat  there.       but  it’s  the  time  he’s  spent  alone  that  led  to  this  one  particular  thought.          

TAKE  THE  RESPONSIBILITY  OF  TAKING  THE  STONES  BACK  -------  THEN  GO  BACK  TO  HER.      bring  her  home.        have  your  life  together.