this ain’t good

My weight has gotten out of hand. I’ve hit an all time high of 140.2. I never feel confident anymore and I self loathe everyday.

Seeing that number hit me hard and I’ve been restricting ever since. This is my 4th day of being back on my shit and I’ve lost 3.2.

Returning to my restrictive tendencies is a very comforting feeling. I’ve done this before and it works. Getting my sense of control back is refreshing.

Over a month ago I started restricting and weight fell off super quick. It was great. The past couple weeks it has slowed down by a lot. While this is discouraging, I know it’s normal and I’m hoping to get past this. Here’s what I’m doing:

🌿Yesterday and today I’ve been increasing my calorie intake in hopes I get my metabolism up again. It’s been weird to make myself eat because I’m honestly not that hungry anymore.

🌱I’ve started exercising for the first time in months since I’ve heard that it leads to a boost in metabolism.

🍃From now on, every week I plan to increase my calorie intake and not restrict for a couple days, probably during the weekends. I want to keep my metabolism on its toes and not get used to my low intake.

☘️Increasing my calorie intake doesn’t mean I’m going back to eating fast food and a bunch of cookies. I’m going to eat foods high in protein, like Greek yogurt and protein bars. Protein is known to boost metabolism. I’ll still be eating lots of fruit and veggies.

Me: ...

Me: nothing

Mom: hm