bermonolog

"i know."

"what is that?"

"you know i know what it is."

spring means a new beginning. i really wish this is also the beginning for me.

i kept telling myself to be strong, that it was my choice so i needed to face it. but still, i couldn't help but felt disappointed and hopeless. i spent my time laughing with friends, doing all jobs, scrubbing every single inch of my bathroom, rearrange my wardrobe every other weeks, talking to my boyfriend every morning, had a long chit chat with my sister every few days, but at the end of day, i just want to roll myself into a ball then cry.

kemarau setahun, dihapus hujan sehari saja

—penyesalanku: tidak terhingga.

penyesalan adalah temanku saat ini, seperti kecewa adalah sahabatmu. berusaha membuatmu tak sedih lagi, yang terjadi justru sebaliknya. matamu basah, lidahku kelu; tak bisa mengatakan apa pun yang bisa jadi penawar lukamu.