So I’m sitting up at 3am with rj to the right of me and Lena on the left, just like u were in my tummy.
We have gone through so many obstacles since my last post. Obstacles I hope u never felt or was never even aware we were facing. It’s 2017, almost 2018. You guys just turned 4 and I turned 28.
We went through separation between your father and I. From living at maw maws for about a month to a tiny hole in the wall apartment. I started working more at night and less during the day. I saved and save and we got a nice rental home with a backyard. About Septemberish 2016 we found out news that would change our story even more, news that would impact your life in ways I’m sure I may never understand. Outsiders will not understand how this is a tragedy because they believe it is self inflicted, anyways, this is when we found out your daddy will be sentenced to 10 years in a state facility for money laundering and racketeering. From the day we found out we were by his side. Even though we were separated, we came together for you two to share memories with him outside a correctional facility.
Life went on and we are a strong family. You guys went to pre-K 4 I kept y’all home the whole summer and we spent so much time together. You guys love to team up against me.
Lena this your u were really turning into a girly girl. You loved tee shirt dresses, necklaces, bracelets, having your nails done, lip gloss, and purses! Oh and pony tails. You are one tough girl! I swear, ur maw maw likes to baby u but I want u to be a tough girl! You love your maw maw Arlene!you excelled in spelling and you take directions so well. You DONT like crowds. You started balling crying when u saw the crowd of people looking at u preform at the Christmas play…. it’s ok though it’s natural! U started tumbling but it only lasted about 3 months. You are so flexible and u love stretching out with me. You like when I spot ur handstands and backbends! You make me so proud seeing u happy! I love u baby girl and I know ur going be something great! Your sooo smart and funny! Thank u for giving me a purpose in life, a drive, I’m your role model and all I want is for you to be the best version of you that you can be! Never let the opinion of others cast any shade of doubt upon yourself and always do what makes you feel good!
Rj! My baby/ big boy!
I’d be so lost without you! It’s just me you and Lena so you really stepped up android help me out as much as your little strong body can! You carry groceries, open the car door, hold open the house door and all kids of other little things that if u were not here I’d be so lost with! Thank u. You’ve really taken to boxing this year! Even pro boxers at the gym stop to watch you, they say he’s got some hands! Even when we went to visit daddy and I’d show him professional fighters that were incarcerated with him were impressed and say d you’d be a star! I really believe any sport you touch you will excel in! You are an athlete! You were having a harder time with your letters at first but 6months in your a pro at writing your first and last name. And boy of boy are you your daddy’s son, you have taken to math so easily! Yes math in pre-K. You help out with the puppies a lot, I think you love the feeling of helping! That’s a good thing helping people is good for your soul. If your having a hard day, do something nice for someone else and it will change your mood! I love u so much my little man, 2017 u still hate getting hair cuts! You are as funny as can be! You just started this mocking thing and it makes me die! I love u.. thank u for completing my life! Yes I want to be your rolemodel but I want you to both be better than I will ever be.
……………..
So about 6 months after daddy goes away, we are ok, we looked forward to visits. Thr first place he was at was far and only one at a time could go and you guys would fight over whose turn it was. The next place was much closer and visits were much more accommodating to children. Mommy was about to invest every penny I made that year into a house me and daddy got together in 2013. Pawpaws tenant of 20 years stopped paying rent and disappeared. Mommy took all her money and renovated the home were in right now. We went from mawmaws bed, to an apartment, to a rental house, to a home we own! We’ve sold some dogs and mommy had worked really hard that year. This year we have our home, mommy will focus more on my hair career. I said starting school I’d have a business to pass down to you. It will take at least a year + to get out of the fast money life completely. I don’t know what I would do with out you maw maw and pawpaw. They make our dynamic work. If it wasn’t for them I would be a wreck. I promise to you guys I will hold myself accountable of making my day career successful and run over these other girls and make you so proud! No one wants to hear your story until you succeed so don’t stop! It feels repetitive but your harvesting something long term life long that is more powerful than anything. Build yourself up so no one can tear you down and if u feel weak, remind yourself that your human, take a QUICK break and jump back on! I love u RJ AND LENA! thank you so much so bringing purpose and joy and true deep felt love into my life!
2087
yousharknotpass
tangentwithtanner
kianamaiart
blakekathryn
turnnoffyourmind
romaincrisis