dump

After three cups of coffee and Jungkook constantly reminding that this was, in fact, real, Hoseok finally believed you were about to walk through the gate he was standing in front of.

He was alone as he impatiently waited to watch a wave of people flood from the gates, desperately wishing you were the last person that came out like in the movies. Jungkook decided to stay in the car because; one, he didn’t want to see them both ‘mushy’; and two, because Hoseok begged him not to. A cluster of azure and indigo was tightly clutched in Hoseok’s hands as he checked if the forget-me-nots were arranged to perfection for the tenth time since he bought them. He apologized in his head to the employee as all he did was rush in, steal the bouquet, slam money onto the counter, and stumble out of the store like he should be worried he would’ve missed you even though he had thirty minutes to kill.

Images and scenarios flashed in front of his eyes, thinking about all the ways he would react when you met eyes for the first time, but Hoseok knew he would find out when you get here. Two things he knew for sure was the whole airport would be filled with his butterflies as they would’ve burst out his stomach and that he would cry. But that’s the one he would rather not think about.

Hoseok smiles sweetly at the flowers, all it took was the thought of you to make him smile now; he could imagine the beautiful pain his cheeks would be feeling after this trip was over. The bittersweet punch in his gut the first time he sees your gorgeous smile face-to-face, hearing your laugh play straight to his ears instead of through a crackly screen sounded like the song he has been missing this whole time, the song he could always dance to.

Shit, he really has it for you already.

Hoseok’s smile disappeared as he thought back to your previous messages, ‘she doesn’t want to date, so I should stop thinking like that if I want to keep talking to her.’ Footsteps and shoes clicking against the floor drag Hoseok back to where he was; he blinks rapidly as if he was waking back up to see the flood gates opening. People running up to family, friends and others walking out by themselves in suits for business or others are just alone. The surge soon became a trickle as Hoseok was still searching for your face with worried eyes.

You were standing behind a tall, incredibly slow man who you had no way of getting past. You huffed in relief when he finally moved aside and joined his family giving you a chance to start searching for Hoseok. It didn’t take long, he was standing right there, bundled up in a coat and scarf, strangling a bunch of familiar flowers in his hand. He was there. He was real. Half of you was expecting to arrive and find out it was elaborate catfishing and get your heart torn out. But this didn’t feel like your heart was being stolen, it felt like it grew twice in size as your legs froze, rooting down into the floor.

Both of you stood there, gazing at one another from a distance and both scared if you took one step it would turn out to be a cruel, sick dream. What shocked you was when Hoseok slapped himself, square across the cheek before saying, “okay, this is real for sure.”

The lack of care and stupidity made you giggle as your legs started moving again, cautiously getting closer before you break out into a small run until you were about a meter away from each other, you could already hear the pounding of his heart; it matched with yours.

“Hey there,” your lips were stretched out as far as they possibly could in a smile as you speak loud enough for him to hear.

Hoseok shook his head, taking a few large steps closer to quickly grab onto you, wrapping his arms around you so tightly your head could’ve popped off. Your reaction was immediate, clinging to him and getting engulfed by his coat and large arms. You could’ve cried, but on the plane, the shaky promise you made to yourself willed you not to. You promised not to: cry, wishfully think, and lead him on to think you wanted to date. You did. You really, really did, but you’ve only just got here and you’re already drained. You’ve spent too many late nights thinking about how you could make things work, make it last, but in the back of your head there was a horrible thought that it wouldn’t make it to next year; you weren’t entirely sure your friendship would last because of the vast space between the both of you. All this flirting, talking of what could be, but each side knowing it would never happen. It was torturous.

But you shook off your plagued worries and enjoyed the moment; enjoyed the fresh scent that was so overwhelming you couldn’t forget; enjoyed the soft lull of Hoseok breathing and the in and out of his chest; enjoyed the fast pounding in your chest which jumped out and connected with his.

“I still can’t believe this,” Hoseok mummers into your neck, lips touching your sensitive skin causing you to whimper and hug him tighter, nodding to distract yourself from how he didn’t lie before; his lips were incredibly soft, “I’m holding you. You’re right here.”

“I know,” your voice only comes out as a small whimper as you try to stop smiling but nothing works. You glance up briefly and the look on Hoseok’s face silenced your loud expressions, clogging a lump in your throat.

Behind his teary eyes was a look; a look you couldn’t capture with a picture. A look that was so intense you were crumbling and felt the dam behind your orbs bursting through with water. The sheer amount of admiration, care, and love behind his eyes was overflowing; you were surprised he didn’t just explode into a pool love. You hoped he could see the same look in your eye; you hoped he could see how much want was in your eyes, but also the reason you stopped yourself from reaching out to touch him.

“Need help with your bags?” Hoseok clears his throat and steps back to look behind you at your case.

“Oh— Yes!” you giggle slightly and hand over your carry-on bag, “here.”

Like a gentleman, Hoseok effortlessly swings the backpack, which you found incredibly difficult, over his shoulder and smiles, “Jungkook is waiting in the car outside.”

With a small nod, you tightly wrap your hand around the handle of your case like you would a baby blanket and follow behind Hoseok. You took the moment to take in his height, the width of his shoulders and the wisps of hair at the back of his neck. You couldn’t process how the back of someone’s head could be so gorgeous.

You weren’t expecting him to turn around so you were rather flustered and tried darting your eyes away, “so y/n, Jungkook told me you had been saving up just to see me?”

The proud smile on his face was adorable but you had some pride. You walked a little faster and pushed his face away, trying to wipe the grin off his face, “don’t get cocky idiot, I did it for your benefit so you didn’t miss me too badly,” you chuckle and refer back to his texts.

Hoseok looked back up and to the airport exit, hiding the pink creeping up on his cheeks, “I was drunk. I was spouting lies,” once you both made it outside there was a sea of people and you felt a tight squeezing on your hand.

“Hoseok—“ you tilt your head up to your side and see a terrified look washed over his face. His face was painted white and you almost forget why he was so scared.

‘Oh shit, I forgot he hates crowds,’ you curse to yourself and squeeze his hand in reassurance to get him to look down at you.

“It’s just me here— what else did you do today?” you keep him distracted and start walking forward; you had no idea where you were going, but if you got through this crowd and Hoseok was still looking at you everything would be fine.

You watched as the colour slowly returned to his face as he recalls his day and repeats it back to you; all of his emotions were shown so clearly it made you giggle as you listened intently.

“Hoseok!” you shot your head in front of you where you heard the voice shouting. By the looks of it, you hoped it was Jungkook as he was waving at the both of you and leaning on a car. You saw Hoseok smiling and waving back so you detected it was indeed Jungkook waving you both over.

“Hello y/n, nice to meet you,” Jungkook grins but it didn’t feel friendly, more mischievous, “so did—?”

“Hoseok did not cry Jungkook,” you lied for his benefit and you giggled as you were dragged towards the car by your hand.

“Put your stuff in the back,” Hoseok helped you lift your suitcase as Jungkook opened the boot for you.

You may enjoy yourself if you were being treated like this for the whole week.

Thursday came quicker than you thought it would, but you know what they say, time flies when you’re having fun.

Neither you nor Hoseok were too bothered about going out and enjoying the city; you came to see him after all. Most of the week was filled with movies and talking. It felt just like when you were talking to him through the screen, but you got to see the movement of his lips, the glint in his eyes, the mesmerizing expression which added to his stories making them more exciting and funny than they were before.

The only person concerned about you two not going out was Jungkook— ‘I can’t believe you came all the way to Seoul and only seen the inside of our apartment and Hoseok’s face’. That didn’t bother you too much, but Hoseok felt bad, offering to take you out Thursday night after he came back from work.

What you weren’t aware of the taunting words Jungkook whispered to Hoseok leading up to the ‘big night’.

“It’s a date.” “No, it’s not.” “Let me say it slower so you understand—“ “It’s not a date!”

So that’s why you were sat in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to finish applying your mascara without smudging black everywhere. Luckily, you were successful and sighed in relief once you screwed the cap on tightly, shoving the bottle into your small makeup bag and zipping it up, “not touching you for another two weeks.”

You chuck the smaller bag into a bigger bag which carried most of your toiletries from toothpaste to skincare, which you rarely even use but carry around to make it look as if you take care of yourself like that. Stepping back, you smooth down your casual button-up dress and check yourself from every angle until you stop, “why am I acting like this is a date?”

You look down at your legs. Shaved. 

You for sure thought this was a date when he asked you.

The slamming of the door makes you jump and dash to the door, peaking your head out to see who was home. Hoseok. He was wearing a black shirt and trousers and your drool was already crawling down your chin.

“You ready?” your speech was as soft as your steps as you opened the door and walked out, looking straight at Hoseok.

He doesn’t look up, putting his shoes back on as he laughs, “are you ready to—?” his hair fluffs as tilts his head to look up at you, but his dumbfounded expression catches you off guard.

You start patting around yourself, looking for what he could be looking at; scared something looked bad on you.

“N—no… you look really nice,” Hoseok stood back up straight, “I’m thinking maybe I should change out of my work clothes?”

You shake your head and grin, walking over and grabbing his shirt, pulling him with you to the door, “no, you look sexy.”

You scream happily which turns into a light giggle as you kick open Hoseok’s bedroom door as you felt an arm around your waist, stopping you from falling back and onto the floor.

To say you had a little to drink would be like saying Hoseok doesn’t stare at your lips every time you talk. It just isn’t true, is it?

“Y/n, Jungkook is asleep, don’t—“ Hoseok whispers at you but his tone felt like a shout as he tried to manoeuvre your wiggling frame to the bed you had been staying in for the past week, but you had stumbled forward, crashing into several loud things, “don’t… be too loud.”

Hands clutched onto your wrists and your skin set on fire knowing who was holding you. No one could stop you laughing and giggling as your drunk self enjoyed the feeling of Hoseok’s soft hands holding you so tightly. You may have stumbled a bit more to keep him holding onto you longer.

“Y/n just—“ Hoseok panicked and harshly pushed you forward so you face planted into the bed, “I’m sorry! I just need you to sleep!”

You didn’t move for a second before turning around and sitting on the edge of the bed, undoing the buttons that go down your flowy dress and whined once you were quickly stopped, “if you want me to sleep I can’t sleep in this!” you drag out the vowels and squeeze your eyes shut. You struggled some more, releasing your hands from Hoseok’s firm grip and quickly undoing the buttons and running away from him like a child who refuses to go to sleep so their answer is to get naked.

“Y/N!” Hoseok actually shouted at you this time as he chased after you, getting a dress chucked back at his face he decided it was time to get forceful.

In a flash he managed to get his shirt off, catching up to you and swinging it in front, wrapping it around so the buttons were at the back and your arms were restricted.

“What the hell! My arms aren’t moving!” you protested sweetly before you felt them carefully being lead through the sleeves and a tugging around your back as Hoseok pushed through the buttons, using his shirt like a straight jacket for you.

Fabric consumed you and his scent was overpowering. You felt yourself already drifting off, imagining your dream to be something amazing as long as Hoseok was in it. Your feet lead the way, stumbling sideways before dropping down onto the bed and desperately crawling under the covers and giggling as you hid from Hoseok.

“Y/n come on, I need to see you sleeping so I—!” he didn’t have time to talk before you reached your hand out and dragged him into the clouds of white and soft sheets.

To say you were disappointed when you saw Hoseok was wearing a plain top under his work shirt was undeniable.

“You have to sleep with me tonight,” you yawned and snuggled into his chest, wrapping your arms around his large frame they almost don’t meet at his back.

“But—!”

“I won’t go to sleep if you’re not with me.”

Hoseok couldn’t say no. How could Hoseok say no to something so convincing?

The morning was just what you expected when you took that first sip after Hoseok offered to buy you a drink at the bar. You knew it would be a bad headache and a weak stomach but you chucked the first glass back anyway. It was like any other hangover expect there was something— squishy?

You shuffled, slowly blinking your eyes open and adjusting as you saw a blur of black turning into fluffy hair and a bright smudge of colour merge into the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever had the pleasure of looking into.

You just hum and keep your arms tightly wrapped around him; maybe it was because there was still the slightest amount of alcohol surging through your system that relaxed you enough to not be freaking out right now, “good morning.”

Hoseok kept his laugh to a minimum, trying not to cause a headache or any more pain if you had one. His low morning voice shone through and listened happily, “good morning, you’re unusually chirpy.”

You could feel his breath hit your cheek, but the smell refused to hit your nose so you were lucky, “I’m always chirpy in the mornings.”

“That’s what I like about you,” Hoseok could list a thousand things he likes about you, but let’s just call this four hundred out of a thousand.

You smile and look down, avoiding his gaze so your cheeks can’t get any warmer. The comfortable silence settled and you don’t think you’ve ever experienced it this sweet before. The sun was shining and you were cuddling with one of your favourite human beings on earth.

“So— you’re leaving tonight aren’t you?”

And it was all crushed into smithereens.

“Wow, Hoseok you really—“

“No! Sorry… I didn’t mean it like that,” Hoseok mumbled, shuffling away so his face was level with yours and extremely close, “I’m dreading it.”

You sigh and close your eyes for a small second, “I’ve enjoyed myself a lot, it feels strange leaving now.”

“Then that means you shouldn’t go,” Hoseok was definitely feeling bold this morning.

Something wrapped tightly around your throat. It must’ve been the pain of not wanting to tell him you have to go; you have a family back there; you have Namjoon back there; you have your apartment back there. Back there was your home and you couldn’t just say that to him; he knew that you couldn’t stay but he wanted to push his luck either way.

“I have to,” you shake your head but that didn’t stop Hoseok from moving closer and placing a hand on your cheek. It was your fault for not stopping him either; you were craving for whatever he was about to do.

“You don’t have to do anything, you can just stay here with me forever,” if you weren’t still waking up you might’ve been sobbing, already packing your bags because getting attached to someone so far away was too heartbreaking for your small body to bare. Hoseok got closer and closer; you felt his infamous —infamous to you— soft lips graze yours and it sent the coldest shiver down your spine.

Nothing seemed to stop him so you let it happen, closing your eyes and letting him close the gap because you wanted a taste no matter how much you denied it in your head.

He was there, he was right fucking there and—

“Y/n, do you know where— oh!” Jungkook bursts through the door rashly with no care to what you were doing —in this case, on the cusp of kissing Hoseok. What if he burst in and you were butt naked?

You softly ducked away when the door’s back hit the wall from the force Jungkook opened it with. He obviously wasn’t expecting to see you cuddled up with Hoseok in bed so he stood there in shock for a second till Hoseok gave him a quick friendly reminder of— “knock next time dickhead,” and glared until Jungkook timidly shut the door. He had just interrupted you two on the cusp so he was infuriated, blood pumping around his body faster than it should’ve.

You, on the other hand, were just embarrassed so you sit up, about to question if you should start packing when you noticed— “why is this shirt on backwards?”

This was it. This was where you sobbed uncontrollably. You felt it on the way to the airport as Hoseok suffocated your hand in his; it was brewing in your stomach and slowly making its way up to your tear ducts. There was no stopping it now. You had to leave him now no matter how hard he clutched onto you and begged you to stay.

“Y/n, can’t you stay for the weekend and get a later flight?” Hoseok kept you in place with his hand in yours; it wasn’t like you wanted to let go either.

“Namjoon is busy this weekend, I can’t leave Ezmeralda on her own Hoseok,” each of you kept saying each other’s names just because hearing your name fall from his lips, with his voice, right in front of you felt like it was feeding your heart. It was greedy and you knew he felt the same. You knew he felt every single feeling you were and that’s why it hurt so much more whenever you looked into his eyes; it was just a reflection of you.

“No,” Hoseok tugged you back in for the fifth hug he’s given you today and chokes up, “y/n do you know what you’re doing to me? You can’t leave, you can’t go. You can’t leave me like this it isn’t fair!”

“You think it’s any easier to leave?” That’s the moment you break when you hear him shatter. You start to sob into his neck, “Do you know how much I want to stay here?”

“Then stay!” he jolts you back, holding onto your shoulders, “just stay with me. I can’t watch you leave— did you know you could die from heartbreak? Because that’s how it feels, it doesn’t feel right for you to leave.”

You couldn’t listen to much of this anymore as it was tearing your heart into tiny, small pieces. You wanted him to shut up, stop talking, stop moving his lips. With one last sniffle, you knew what would keep him quiet, you shake your head before leaning in slowly, softly pressing your lips onto his and moving them gently. The response was instantaneous; hands gripping at the back of your head and your coat, lips moving so in sync with yours you could only describe it as fate.

The pulling away wasn’t really pulling away as Hoseok kept leaning back in, pressing pecks against your lips sloppily till they turned into a full blown kiss again to only repeat the process once more. It only stopped when you stepped away, shaking your head and looking down as you knew looking at his face now means you’ll expect defeat and melt, convincing you to stay when you knew you couldn’t with just his eyes.