Ben's Bitter Blog

Back in 7th grade, I was sitting in my Social Studies class, because standing the whole time was exhausting. This really old lady at the front of the class assigned us to decide what we wanted to do for the rest of our lives. Most of the people in the class looked at the assignment, picked something, and then moved on with their pathetic lives of gossiping. I took the assignment seriously though,…

There has been a lot said on my subject of Gen X’s childhood on my TikTok algorithm lately. Since I am an expert on Gen X, because I am one, let me explain the phenomenon that is being introduced to our young Gen Y and Z brethren and sisters. In the 80’s, kids were free range cows. And by that I mean we were left to our own devices, and by devices, I mean we had no devices. No phones, Iwatches,…

This week, I was watching a YouTube video about these two women wellness coaches created a retreat called a Rage Ritual Retreat. For the low, low price of only $4,000, the drag these women into the woods and then bring them outside, make them collect sticks, and then while beating the sticks against the ground, primally screaming as loud as they can as long as they can. I used to have a job that…

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. It was a great movie, but also a little confusing because it involved a lot of universes of Spidermen…and women…and pigs…and kids? It was a pretty long movie, and at the end, just as it was wrapping up, the music starts pulsating, and dramatically ramping up, and I’m like this doesn’t sound like wrap up music…My instinct…

The best stories are always about the impossible odds and how they are overcome. That’s why I’m such a big fan of 5 foot 8 Thomas Cruise Mapother the 4th’s who’s always running after, or away from enemies in order to save the world in 8 different Mission Impossible movies. The action sequences were great, the double crossing mask reveals are great, but I always signed up for how in the world Mr.…

I know everyone has anxiety these days, but since I was born in a time when anxiety wasn’t invented yet, mine got an undiagnosed. My anxiety manifests itself in a few ways. I’ve become more accustomed to speaking in front of crowds (at least in church), but I still get loads of it BEFORE I publicly speak. It also manifests in interviews, which I hate more than turkeys hate Thanksgiving. I don’t…

I’ve shared this many times, but I’ve been a video gamer since I was a small ball of bitterness. I got the Atari 2600 when I was 7, and got the NES when it first came out in 1985. I was a Nintendo stan for so long, that I missed out on some of the biggest gaming experiences. But as a dumb person, I remained loyal, because I thought Nintendo would eventually create an amazing bunch of games that…

It’s the American Dream. Get married, have 2.2 kids, and buy a home with a white picket fence. Of course, not all plans come to fruition. But some do. Let’s go back to the beginning. I was born to a couple of parents in a hospital, by a racing track, near a Rose Bowl. I don’t remember much of the first few years. I cried, pooped and slept a lot. My first memories include leaving an English…

Marvel Studios came out with a show called What If? that explored scenarios of what would have happened if one small thing changed in the Marvel Universe. The ultimate “What If?” is what if you won the lottery? Almost everyone would pay off all their debts, and then in order they would do three things: Buy a new house (or houses), get a new car (or cars), and travel the world. I would absolutely…

You know you are getting old when you’re the oldest person in the office, when even your CEO, President, and boss are younger than you. Except maybe the bosses father, who might still work for the company just so he can get out of the house, and something to do between pickleball matches. Another way you know you are old is when your co-workers coming from college have parents that are younger…

The more I think back to my youth, the more I wish I wouldn’t have taken it for granted. I used to hate that I grew up in the 80’s, because big hair, loud and obnoxious clothes and a severe lack of technology. My kids would die if they knew that I made all the way through high school without the internet. In fact, I made it all the way through college. I literally took a class in my senior year…

Hey guys I just wanted to post today and wish you all a Happy Birthday! Oh, it’s not your birthday? Really? Cause I thought we had the same birthday. Speaking of other people’s birthday’s, if it was mine, I would create a blog post that listed something that makes me bitter for every year I’ve spent on earth (doesn’t include all the years I spent on Mars or Cybertron). 1 – The Bar – According…

I’ve had a much longer and successful career as a Transformers fan than I will ever have in my human working career. My Transformers fandom started on September 17, 1984, when I watched the first episode of Transformer on our tiny 17 inch moving picture box. It changed the way I saw the world. Space wasn’t just 8 other planets, a sun and bunch of stars. Space contained a much more interesting…

Hפפפפפפɹɹɹɹɹ∀ ˙ʎɐpoʇ ʞɐǝɹq ɐ˙˙˙ ˙˙˙ƃuᴉʞɐʇ ǝq oʇ sɯǝǝs ʎʇᴉʌɐɹפ ˙ʎɐpoʇ ʞɐǝɹq ɐ ǝʌɹǝsǝp noʎ˙˙˙ ˙˙˙sʎɐs sʎɐʍlɐ s,plɐuopɔW s∀ ˙˙˙ɟɟo ǝlʇʇᴉl ɐ ʇlǝɟ ƃuᴉɥʇǝɯos ʇnq˙˙˙ ˙˙˙ʇsod ƃolq ɐ op oʇ ʞɹoʍ oʇ ǝɯɐɔ I ˙˙˙ʇᴉ uo ɹǝƃuᴉɟ ʎɯ ʇnd˙˙˙ ˙˙˙oʇ ɯǝǝs ʇ,uɐɔ I ˙ʞɔǝu ʎɯ ƃuᴉɥɔʇɐɹɔs ɯ,I ǝʞᴉl slǝǝɟ ʇᴉ ʇnq˙˙˙ ˙˙˙pɐǝɥ ʎɯ ƃuᴉɥɔʇɐɹɔs ɯ,I ǝʞᴉl s,ʇI ˙˙uʍop ǝpᴉsdn ʇᴉ uɹnʇ plnoɥs noʎ˙˙˙ ˙˙˙ǝlᴉɯs ɐ ǝʌɐɥ noʎ uǝɥʍ ʇɐɥʇ…

I grew up in the 80’s, the time period of big hair and leather parachute pants. 1986 must have been the pinnacle for me, because The Transformers Movie came out in theaters, and video games were starting to be popular. In just a few months, I went from playing Super Mario Bros. in arcades to playing it on an NES, with no graphical differences. Until that moment in time, arcade games were superior…

As the author of such Best Selling blog posts as Bitter Reasons to be Tall, and 41 reasons to be Bitter, I have a lot of experience making stuff up. A lot of people imagine that writing fiction is easy, because you are just making things up. What they don’t know is that Non-Fiction authors just have to regurgitate things that already happened. Fiction authors like me know that I have a doubly…

It was July 1994, and I was just a 21-year old impressionable young man whose prefrontal cortex hadn’t fully developed. I just got home from a 2-year full time mission for my church, so I hadn’t fully integrated into the world yet. A week later, I was bitterly hate watching the NBA Finals, because the Spurs missed it that year, when breaking news came on. Some news people were freaking out…