Benny & Tulip

What is the state of affairs here on tumblr?

Is it still a dumpster fire?

We’re u/bennyandtulip of course, but you can also follow us individually at u/mx_benny and u/madametulip.

If you’re a seasoned Reddit user, we’d love to know if there’s any subreddits you think we should join too.

While we’re dipping our toes in the Reddit waters, you can still find us on Twitter and Snapchat as bennyandtulip.

Hello lovely!

I’m sorry you’re finding this painful. I’m no expert in this, but the first thing I would try is to r e l a x

Seriously, if you’ve experienced pain, this trauma could be making you tense up in fear which is causing even more pain. :( So maybe take insertion out of the equation altogether. Get your partner to touch you everywhere... but no insertion. Maybe a nice massage to just get you comfortable, and trust that your partner isn’t going to penetrate you so you can really relax. Then maybe your partner can touch your clitoris and vulva - again, no penetration!

Then once you’re feeling really relaxed and feel like you want to move on ask him to gently insert a finger BUT WITH LOTS OF LUBE. Maybe you’re not wet enough and that’s what is hurting you.

If after all this you’re still finding it painful, it may be worth going to a gyno to talk about whether or not you have vaginismus. It’s completely natural and normal and hopefully your doctor can help you.