The boy who drank stars

11/13 is approaching fast. It's my 30th birthday. It's crazy to think that I have been alive 30 years. It makes me wonder what it is that I have been doing with my life. What have I accomplished, who have I accomplished it with, where is it that I'm going. Looking into the future isn't so easy. Planning is somewhat easy. With all of that, I am also looking into the past. My experiences, what I have learned from it all. How I have processed it all. Making peace with the past is the most difficult thing I could do. There is so much weighing me down and I can't shake it off. All I can do is analyze and learn new ways of coping and perhaps finding a way to let it go. I must also keep in mind that I am going forward, and not backward. Walking away isn't easy, but sometimes necessary. I've chosen to not let people back into my life for respect of myself and not wanting to rehash bottled feelings that have not been processed or completely healed over. I have made my bed and am laying in it, and so have they. You can make peace, and leave it at that. That is ok. There is nothing wrong with that. I am entering my 30's with all these life lessons, and am doing my best to leave the rest with my 20's. There is nothing wrong with not letting people in or in again. I am in charge of my own life and can control this. I'm sorry of that upsets anyone, but too bad. I'm not here to please you.