Come for the dyslexia, stay for lukewarm takes

Essentially a Supernatural x Hazbin Hotel crossover, taking some inspiration from @kitsunesongs' Double Entry AU, specifically Fatherverse Lucifer again.

If y'all don't know Supernatural lore, I'll explain some to you because some of it seems VERY similar to Double Entry's fatherverse, with smaller key differences. (On that note, this may be spoilers for Double Entry so READ THAT FIRST, GO READ IT, GO!)

In Supernatural, instead of Roo, God wages war against Amara, his opposite, who cannot resist destroying anything he creates. Like Double Entry, God locks Amara away, except in Supernatural he leaves the lock with his most beloved angel, Lucifer. This lock is a Mark, and God has essentially cursed Lucifer to be slowly corrupted by Amara's influence over time.

It is this influence that ultimately led to Lucifer's rage, envy, and disgust when God created humanity and told the angels to bow to them. It's this influence that led to Lucifer refusing to bow and leading a rebellion. Those feelings would have still been there most likely, but nowhere near as deep without Amara whispering into his ear.

NOW. Back to the story idea.

Alastor gets transported into the Supernatural universe as a disembodied soul in Hell, but this is in the wake of his original universe being completely destroyed. Not because of Roo like he and many others had been expecting, but because God was frustrated and just decided to destroy EVERYTHING. A whole universe, gone. Lucifer, Charlie, Vaggi, Lilith, his MOTHER, they're all gone, as though they never existed to begin with.

Alastor only survived because Roo liked him. And Roo liked him because unlike others, who she could only influence, whisper to, nudge along, she could SPEAK with him, and he could speak back without being corrupted. Almost as if he was made to be able to do so.

Perhaps he was, and this was God's mistake. Because it left Alastor with abilities that essentially allowed him to be a multidimensional blindspot, so long as he was trained to do it. And oh, of COURSE Roo trained him to do it. Anything that could potentially fuck over her jailor at some point in the future.

Unbeknownst to her, it's her teachings that allowed him to escape. And it is her teachings that allowed him to eventually reconstruct a body. Not the one he had in Hell previously, apparently the rules in this new universe don't allow appearances like that yet, but he could reconstruct his human body. It was a slow process, of course, but that meant very little, because time was extended in Hell, and the place seemed rather... barren. Nothing around to disturb him.

Once his body is constructed, he wanders around, and finds he doesn't quite like how THIS Hell is structured. Naturally, he does something about it, starts moving things around, shifting things, and in his slow exploration and organization of this empty Hell, he eventually comes across a Cage. One with a being so immense, so bright, he instantly realized based on biblical scripture who he was looking at.

The Light Bringer. The Morning Star. The Serpent.

A marked being whose mind is being warped... Well, lucky for him that Alastor can do something about that, with all his teachings. Of course, this Lucifer still thinks humans are filthy unworthy creatures, and Alastor truthfully kind of wants to punt his stupid face regardless of how enormous and unfathomable he is, (which honestly Lucifer is a little stunned by, what the fuck is wrong with this human??) but, well, Lucifer wasn't wrong for being angry at being told to submit.

Alastor's from the Jim Crow era south, he can understand the ugly feeling of being told you are LESSER, that you must bow your head to another. Lucifer just has a nasty problem of falling a little too close to the tree, because like God he ALSO seems to have an egomaniac problem that makes him think OTHERS should be considered lesser... (And Alastor can see that this attitude was exacerbated by the literal curse that God placed on his own damn kid, Yikes.)

Luckily, Lucifer's in a cage, and Alastor has all the time in the world to poke him back into having a brain. In fact, he has more time than he would have in the previous universe, given that time is MUCH slower in this Hell.

(Alastor could have totally just left him, but Lucifer is currently the only other being in Hell, and unfortunately Alastor already has a taste for Annoying Lucifer Specifically, even if this is a different version of his favorite mockery victim.)

This is essentially a canon divergence that leads to Supernatural verse getting a more Hazbin edge to it, in that Alastor "discovers" a way for holy and demonic beings to make themselves bodies without having to steal it from others (leading to a Hazbin Lucifer appearance), his direct influence leads to Lucifer creating the Seven Deadly Sins instead of the Four Princes of Hell, and Lucifer ABSOLUTELY becomes a major simp because Alastor Does Not Leave Him Alone, and he is, unfortunately, extremely charmed by this impossible human, despite all the teasing and mockery.

Because of Alastor being a blindspot, no one sees that he's essentially completely derailed all plans of the Winchesters being used as divine flesh suits and shattered any prophesies by way of giving Lucifer the ability to make whatever body he wants. Alastor's existence in the universe stops a lot of things really! He even prevents his birth in this universe by killing his shitbag father before he gets his horrible grubby hands on his mother. No doubles, and his mother remains safe and happy!

At some point he does tell Supernatural!Lucifer about the other universe, about how God simply decided to destroy everything on a whim, including this other version of Lucifer and Lucifer's daughter— and S!Lucifer quickly picks up that Alastor is genuinely upset about the destruction of this daughter. Because she shall NEVER exist in this universe.

To which S!Lucifer is like "bet" and decides he's going to get this human pregnant the second he escapes this cage. In fact, does he need to escape his cage, they could totally do it through the bars, c'mon darling he'll SO give you that baby girl, ask and you shall receive—

Basically, it's only revealed when Lucifer manages to break out of his cage, and he's possessing a body that does NOT look 100% human. Again, he's taking a more Hazbin appearance, so he's got the sharp teeth, black claws, porcelain skin, red eyes. I also like the idea of him coming out in a blue ringleader outfit like his blue one from last year's pride merch, ready to put on a show.

Honestly I want him to look clearly inhuman, but also festive and fun, something that will come completely out of left field to the Winchesters and the angels. He's also going to be a lot different personality-wise because he does not want to actually end humanity anymore. Alastor is human, his daughter is half-human, and he very much truly loves them both. (Also his new body lets him taste human food like normal and damn okay humans know what the fuck they're doing clearly, this shit is FIRE)

Honestly, Lucifer is just going to be an extremely radical conservationist. His biggest gripe is just that he loves the earth, he thinks it's god's greatest creation, and he wants to preserve its beauty. And yeah, a lot of humans RUIN that, and that pisses him the fuck off, but there's ALSO a lot of humans who agree and want to preserve the earth too.

He's the Devil, silver-tongued and all. He just needs to shift to a more human look, make himself an identity, and it won't be long before he's the biggest name in green energy and conservation efforts. He doesn't need to take over humanity by force or violence, sure it would be faster but it would also leave scars.

He's still gonna kill a lot of people though, of course. Like, SO many politicians and CEOs across the world are dropping like flies, or getting possessed by demons, or being replaced or jailed. Charlie's disapproval isn't really gonna stop that, sorry sweetie, daddy's trying to save the planet and this was honestly the most peaceful way.

Wait whoops I went on a tangent here I'm sorry!!! Yes Jimmy still gets possessed by Castiel, but after the discovery that human possession isn't needed, he does let Jimmy go and gains the knowledge to create a body in a deal with Alastor.

...to be honest, I now have the mental image of Heaven having no clue that this is going down. Meaning that they're operating according to the original Plan, whereas hell is - mainly not. The movers and pushers, that is, meaning that Azazel, who I've always considered as - well, frankly, not that big when it comes to the hierarchy of hell, still operates his off-the-books smite-worthy scheme. Meaning that things keep proceeding As Planned (as per canon) until the Cage is unlocked.

...at which point in time Lucifer shows up, royally pissed off because who the hell launched a formal summons for him during Date Night? He wasn't compelled to attend, of course not, but that was a really formal summons. It had weight. And he wants whoever did it to knock it off, because he has better things to do, really!

...thought. He's still short. So the Winchesters and Castiel are staring at a short, glaring, blatantly inhuman man who looks like he runs a circus part-time.

Alastor looking like this beautifully androgynous human but clearly isn’t a human has Team Free Will and later Heaven scrambling to find out how to deal with this new variable.

The documentary includes a brief clip of a 1954 televised newscast about the rise of homosexuality. The host of the program interviewed psychologists, a police officer, and one “known homosexual”. The “known homosexual” is 22 years old. He identifies himself as Curtis White, which is a pseudonym; his name is actually Dale Olson.

So I tracked down the newscast. According to what I can find, Dale Olson may have been the first gay man to appear openly on television and defend his sexual orientation. He explains that there’s nothing wrong with him mentally and he’s never been arrested. When asked whether he’d take a cure if it existed, he says no. When asked whether his family knows he’s gay, he says that they didn’t up until tonight, but he guesses they’re going to find out, and he’ll probably be fired from his job as well. So of course the host is like …why are you doing this interview then? and Dale Olson, cool as cucumber pie, says “I think that this way I can be a little useful to someone besides myself.”

1954. 22 years old. Balls of pure titanium.

Despite the pseudonym, Dale’s boss did indeed recognize him from the TV program, and he was promptly fired the next day. He wrote into ONE magazine six months later to reassure readers that he had gotten a new job at a higher salary.

Curious about what became of him, I looked into his life a little further. It turns out that he ultimately became a very successful publicity agent. He promoted the Rocky movies and Superman. Not only that, but get this: Dale represented Rock Hudson, and he was the person who convinced him to disclose that he had AIDS! He wrote the statement Rock read. And as we know, Rock Hudson’s disclosure had a very significant effect on the national conversation about AIDS in the U.S.

if your most authentic self is goth, and the way you sourced the clothes is more faithful to goth values, then it's going to be a super comfy goth outfit.

Quickest and easiest way to make a pair of sweatpants look goth is to bleach them. You could either dilute it and spray it on the pants or put a bit of bleach in a container, take a brush and just splash it on the pants. Leave them outside in the sun for a bit and wash them (do not put them with other clothes just to be sure you are not ruining anything). I'll say one hour and you have your personal pair of goth sweatpants.

Another thing you could do is to put holes in them. Take a pair of scissor, cut a small hole and then bush a razor on it to give it a more ripped look.

If you have more time, a bit of money and you want to try something more complicated, you can sew patches, paint them, add some metal eyelets (idk if that's how they are called in english. The metal things in the shoe where you put your laces in), chains, etc.

As for the top, band shirts!! Black shirts!! Black tank tops!! Halloween themed stuff!! You can also find them already goth enough or add patches, pins, laces, etc etc. Same goes for sweatshirts! Be creative! And also accessories!! Spike bracelets, necklaces, etc can change the look and make it more goth even if you are just wearing a pajamas.

When I said "I don't want to look like I'm wearing sweatpants", I did not mean "if only there was a way for me to wear sweatpants", I meant "I do not want to be a person who wears sweatpants in public".

You said there's no way to make something comfy and look good, but people don't innately know "what looking good" to you means, and it can't be sweatpants at all and you would not want to even be seen in public in them. If you want to find tips to feel comfortable in dressy clothing you have to say that from the beginning as well.

It's like you're setting invisible tripwires for people by assuming there's more meaning to your words than you're actually communicating with them. Of course people are gonna trip.

Not that I don’t understand why it keeps happening, it just gets to a point where I think you should stop talking. Not that you are going to do that you already expressed your opinion on this last month.

Here's how you make noai.duckduckgo.com your default search engine so you don't have to toggle the filter on every time you do a search:

1) Make sure your Firefox is up to date.

2a) Go to the website and right click in the search field and select 'Add Search Engine' and confirm with 'Add Engine':

OR!

2b) Go into Firefox's settings and under Search, scroll down until you find the option to manually add a search engine:

And the URL you'll want to enter is https://noai.duckduckgo.com/?t=h_&q=%s

3) Either way, you will now have to scroll to the top of your Search settings in Firefox and then change your Default Search Engine to the one you just added.

As for other browsers... I don't have a clue, fuck Chrome in particular.

"AU" stands for "Alternate Universe" or "Alternative Universe" (same difference) and is basically any thought scenario for a fandom that isn't canon and can't fit within the canon universe. If it takes place in the canon universe but something is notably different, that is typically what's known as a "Canon divergent AU," because it diverges from canon.

an AU can be absolutely anything. There's a couple of widespread pan-fandom au scenarios that often get thrown around, like coffee shop aus, genderbend aus, hanahaki aus (hanahaki is a whole thing in itself i'd recommend researching on your own), etc. One you might hear sometimes is "crossover AU" which is when you have characters from one fandom interacting with characters from another.

You can have as many aus as you want. They can be whatever you want and you can do whatever you want in them. It's a sandbox for you to play around in and explore how things would be different or how the characters would act in those circumstances or environments. Maybe they have different relationships with each other. Maybe they behave slightly differently. Or you can just say "Okay, [x] is true. How did they get here? How would things have to be different for this to occur?" which can also be fun.

If you are ever confused about why people ship something that seems completely out of the blue or doesn't make sense to you in the canon setting, there's a good chance they like it in an AU setting! Not everything everybody is interacting with is necessarily the canon! Not everybody wants things to exist in canon and just want to explore playing dolls in a different sandbox and that's okay. And their sandbox might look a lot different than yours, and that's also okay. You have the freedom to make your sandbox whatever you please. Do whatever you want forever. Get funky with it. AUs are fun.

If he can fix some plot points and get things less chaotic (airplane seriously just crept adding stuff that made zero sense to get more sex scenes) so SY will fix that and make things less bad for Binghe...

He ends up taking over the entire abyss without realizing. Man is emperor of the abyss.

Xin Mo has been begging SY to wield it but SY is like 'i'm not touching the protagonists golden finger, why would I do that i'm just an NPC'

SY has not realized he's the feared emperor of the abyss, tales of his power have even reached outside texts, he is the great terror that rules over all others and untied all the creatures under his power.

He just keeps thinking this is just to make things easier for Binghe... he's mentioned a few times about LBH and his subjects have heard a heavenly demon hat will fall in who SY talks about with adoration.

Clearly they all decide SY is a seer (it would explain a lot) and LBH is their future bride.

LBH falls into abyss ready to start revenge arc... only to get scooped up by first demons who see him and take him palace to apparently 'future husband' LBH is ready to start killing... until he meets SY.

Empress of the abyss suddenly sounds very appealing.

SY: I can help Binghe go though this arc with less trauma and then i'm sure he'll leave and become emperor

No takeover in any demonic lands, no plots as cultivation sects and no wives appear to have been acquired.

He has no idea what's happening, where's the plot? where's the revenge? wheres the harem?

Stallion protagonist is missing in action and SQH is confused. The script is out the window and his system seems to have just given up? No missions or anything.

MBJ is taking over territory and expanding power... he no longer wants a spy (he has no need for one since the sect isn't of any importance to him without LBH revenge) SQH thinks he's gonna die earlier... only MBJ just scoops him up and is keeping in in North permanently... (he's been bridenapped and hasn't figured it out yet)

It's only when SQH is arranging meeting with abyssal emperor (who SQH is 99% sure he never wrote but he didn't have a lot of lore in notes that he had to throw out because the lore wasn't selling with anyone other than peerless cucumber)

When in meeting he sees emperor and his empress... who is his stallion protagonist.

Never referring to himself as Queen isn't even weird. Because Queens, as spouse of the King, do not necessarily have any inherent ruling power or authority themselves. So constantly referring to himself as "this Advisor" instead IS a valid thing— he is emphasizing that he is An Actual Legit Advisor to the King, one that is trusted to be listened to and entrusted with actual duties he is good at being in charge of. He is not just arm candy or for making babies or doting upon. He Does Shit and they are Expected To Listen To Him, not just be polite and respectful.

And anyone else using such a title for him is respecting that rank and duties.

It's not a demotion, no matter which way around you look at it, just a distinction.

And so, the Queen Of The North has never actually heard of himself being referred to as such until Just Then.

(If one wants to give MBJ the benefit of the doubt, one can presume he was thinking to respect SQH's "clearly preferred title" by calling him "my Advisor" not "my queen", even in private. And by name, which is far from New.)

(This is Moshang, tho, so even when MBJ got it well enough to successfully bridenap his hamster we still give him side-eye and shade for never actually SAYING "My Queen", to HIS CHOSEN QUEEN, especially in private.)

(Even tho SQH has been calling him "my king" for decades.)

(Which is seen by anyone Not In The Know as an adorable affectionate couples thing.)

Like, if the hunter realizes he shot a man through the head and his dogs, poorly trained, are ripping into two bodies. He knows he'll get in trouble if he tells someone. So he leaves the bodies there and hopes that if they're found it will be blamed on the local serial killer. And Mimzy goes looking for her friend after a few days of him missing. She and the others at the speakeasy would tell him not to wander the bayou alone. But that man practically lived there when he was doing radio or up on the bar's stage. She finds two bodies. Only recognizes one.

She recognizes him immediately.

Mimzy doesn't cry. Does scream or plead for things to not be real. She disassociates.

Of course the only time she would see Alastor without his signature smile was without a face. Most of his skull, really. She thinks most of the pulp is brain matter, as it's hard for her to decern bones fragments. His body black and blue where she can see attached skin. Some type of animal got him. Like wolves. Wolves have been hunted and were declining and they prefer to kill fresh catches. She remembers Alastor telling her that. So this happened while he was alive, or close to it. But wolves don't usually go for full grown adults and will almost never go for two full grown humans. So dogs. Someone's dogs. Someone ordered their dogs to do this. Which is why the arms and legs and throat are mutilated, but the torso is mostly intact. This wasn't to eat, they were ordered and trained to attack. His nice shirt was ruined with blood and mud and grass stains. She knows it as Alastor's become his arms are long and he likes his sleeves to fit a certain way because of always wearing baggy shirts as a kid. She sees they way the shoulders are stitched slightly to give more space to the shoulders and how the cuffs are made from a slightly different white fabric to be longer and more secure to malnourished wrists. His pants looked like they were pulled up wrong. Like they'd been taken off- (no don't think about that) but she recognizes his long legs. It was difficult for him to find pants both long enough and that fitted his waist. There's faint red stitches in the seam against brown fabric, from hip to waist to get rid of a lot of extra fabric.

There was more.

More ways she could recognize her friend.

The body left behind.

But she can't put them to words.

Her friend was lynched and she hadn't even noticed immediately. She feels disgusting on the inside. It follows her for the rest of her life. It wasn't her first taste of Hell. But it was the rot that lingered in her palette till the day she died.

-

When Angel Dust asks about Alastor, she tells him about her friend. How the big bad Overlord was a kitten with some rye. But when Angel pushed, something triggered and she disassociated again.

Looking at the distance in front of her, eyes unfocused.

Then to her drink, trying to bring herself back.

She knew she was staring blank at it.

At the counter.

Everything was getting muffled.

She looked Angel in the eyes, haunted. Described how she recognized her friend without his face. Made the morbid joke, "Of course, the only time I catch him without a smile is when he doesn't even have a face!"

And distantly describes it.

How green the grass was around his body. Vibrant. Unrealistic. The wildflowers that had started to bloom from between the gore.

How they buried him next to his mama, who was also rotting without all her skull. "Like mother, like son. Am I right?"

How his body was taken from him. She always suspected it was a 'friend' who wanted more or someone he had a 'partnership' with. After all she's seen how the men looked at her friend. How the masquerades had men follow him whether he was dressed as a boy or girl. How Alastor had a new John here and there, with his shirt popped open. How he'd wave off their other friends telling him to be cautious cause repressed people will do heinous things when they feel like you owe them something.

Imagine Vox hearing that through Angel in that moment?

Sir Pentious and Angel Dust might be even more shaken up than before!

I think this 'small' addition could cause a butterfly effect and lead to big changes in the future.

Perhaps Sir Pentious would rush to find Alastor in a panic to ask for help, interrupting Husk before he gets to make the leash comment? Husk might get a glimpse of how close Mimzy and Alastor truly are, seeing how she was traumatised by his death and possibly even blamed herself for it.

Alastor finds out about how she got to that state and would be pissed at Angel. Husk might try to defend Angel, but Alastor could snap at him for having no sense of boundaries, calling him too cowardly to ask such personal question about himself to his face and instead interrogating other more vulnerable sinners 'like a fucking creep.' He even drops a hint about how he knows he's a spy for Vox, snatches the phone out of his hand and destroys it. If Angel, Charlie and Vaggi try to complain, he gives them a crash course on both Voxtech Spyware and basic manners, and how if they won't punish their client for voyeurism he will.

Also, I don't think Alastor would kick Mimzy out after this, and after being triggered and remembering her best friend's murder, she might get a little clingy and sticks around.

I think Angel would already feel like an ass for pushing so far (why did he feel the need to do that?) before Alastor goes off on him, and as he likely has experience helping others out of dissociation would be working to help Mimzy out of it by the time the other's get back (but not before sending Vox what he heard).

After this, Sir Pentious and Angel Dust are brutally hit with the realisation that... Alastor was human, just like the rest of them, and start to treat him as such. And this would lead to two major changes:

Sir Pentious invites Alastor and Mimzy to go partying with them and the duo choose to take them up on the offer. They discover that the old timer knows how to party!

Angel Dust has everyone look for Alastor when he goes missing after fighting Adam, and Mimzy (knowing Alastor) leads him to the destroyed Radio Tower. The other's get to see his wound from Adam and are struck by the same revelation Pentious and Angel had.

This snowballs into Alastor generally being treated better by everyone at the Hotel (minus Lucifer, who is still an insecure dick) and he hates it. Why are you putting me on mandatory vacation?! Do you think I'm too weak to do my job?!!

Mimzy is still at the Hotel and she now works as an entertainer for the guests! She becomes quite popular.

She and Angel get really competitive on stage!

And then there's Vox and how he's handling all this horrifying information; naturally, his brain latches onto the 'Alastor getting betrayed and murdered by a friend who wanted more' and thinks back to That Day.

Vox thinks he hit the only fucking trigger Alastor has. The one chink in his armor.

Lucifer still pushes Alastor into quiting, but it's with resistance. Angel and Cherri don't laugh. Husk is constantly trying to supply water and juice and Nifty is one his ass with medicine. Charlie's busy, as is Vaggie. Vaggie wasn't harping on Alastor after he gets injured but is too busy to see anything happening. Lucifer is calling him lazy for not doing anything in the hotel. And the other Sinners try to bring up that Alastor is injured. But Lucifer is purposely not paying attention.

This leads into Alastor still giving himself as a hostage for Husk and Nifty, while securing that Vox can't touch Charlie. It's only in hindsight that Vox realizes something wrong. That Alastor undid his tie and buttons to lure Vox away. Mind you, it's after the humiliation parade, considering he had to do up the buttons and tie. But he feels sick realizing Alastor used himself as bait in such a way. Because it proves Alastor cares about others, to the detriment of himself. And it also proves that Alastor was right to be weary of Vox.