There is no such thing as Macra! Macra do not exist!

“I really did live and breathe Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I cared about Buffy more than I cared about my real life. And just having that consistency — when I was, like, 10, I watched the first season of that show while it aired, and was with it for seven years. And it was such a tool of dissociation for me. It was, in hindsight, I think, very much a coping mechanism for not being able to form the kinds of deep romantic relationships that other people can form when they’re an adolescent in the right body. I wasn’t in a place where I could open myself up to people, but here was this show that was so emotional, that I could have this relationship with.” -Jane Schoenbrun

I know it's scary. That's part of it.

The mystery and insane details made the Doctor feel like he wasn't alone.

Because Ruby also had this insane mystery and he was helping her to figure it out because I don't think he expected things to be so mundane. Truthfully, the details don't fully match up, the music isn't explained and "just because" wasn't enough to explain why her mom was hidden and why Ruby could never find her

I do think that their friendship, the Doctor and Ruby, was surface level and that's probably why it felt like that. It was built off an idea, and when that idea didn't exist anymore the Doctor was acting like he couldn't travel with her anymore

It was too painful watching her get the answers he desperately wanted?

He wasn't a good friend telling Ruby not to go in. He projected his own feelings onto the situation at the coffee shop and his reaction when she went in, said it all. It wasn't his choice and Ruby had to make her choice

He projected his own resentment onto the situation, justifying that Ruby's mother doesn't deserve her if she never came looking for her. He didn't account for the reasons, likely meaning he feels the same way towards the people who abandoned him.

When Ruby made a different choice to what he would've, it shattered that idea that they were experiencing the same kinda thing

And he didn't say "I love you." Back!

He told her she had a profound effect on his life, because, just for a while, he felt like he wasn't alone. I think he can be greatful for that atleast, but he's still devastated, as shown by his breakdown once Ruby left

Mankind will be harvested because of your weakness.

RUBY SUNDAY + getting called "Rubes"

+bonus