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Hello APV!
Alright, I feared this had to happen sooner or later. Real life (or university graduation) has finally caught up with me, and even I can’t convince myself anymore that it hasn’t and that I don’t have the time anymore for a time consuming RP as this one, among other reasons. This decision was really hard for me because I’ve been here from the beginning and I love my characters, but after a long process of realisation I just need to let go. I’m really sorry to everyone I still had paras with, and you can still find me on Skype if you wish to (I hope that you do).
Good luck to all of you in all your endeavours, and may the oods be ever in your favour.
Verena
Dirty Paws and Furry Coat || Benjy & Fenrir
Theo looked at the young dog, eyes aimed vaguely at her paws. I’m not a threat. As the Omega, he wasn’t to make eye contact with any of the other members, and that included the dogs. He was happy with his role, preferring an easy life with a caretaking role in the pack, rather than having to worry about usurpers trying to take your place or anything like that. He even thumped his tail, once, to reassure both dog and master that he wouldn’t hurt them unless they hurt him. His teeth stayed bared, however, as a reminder that he was dangerous, and as Benjy crouched down near him he growled quietly, tongue darting out to lick his muzzle nervously as he started to speak.
His ears pricked at the offer of help, and he whined, turning to look at the boy directly, ears up, though it hurt to do so, Emma had torn one badly, and pain shot down his ear, into his skull. He knew that that was what the dogs did when they wanted humans to pet them, so that’s what he did. Little did the boy know that Theo could understand every word that was being said to him. The soothing tone helped to calm his nerves, though the anxious dog waiting beyond, behind her master, made him unhappy. It always pained him to see a member of the pack unhappy, werewolf or dog, and that he was the cause of her unhappiness upset him.
With effort, he raised his muzzle and gave a soft, friendly yap in her direction, though it hurt his throat to do so, thumping his tail again. And then Benjy drew his wand, and all of a sudden he was reminded of Fenrir finding a wounded deer just after a hunt, talking to it soothingly, as it let him get close enough to pet it, and then – the flash of green light, and the deer was no more.
With a whimper, he dragged himself to his feet, though he couldn’t lift his paws over the tree root, and ended up scratching weakly at the base of it before returning to his original position, but now with his head down between his front paws and his eyes shut tight, trembling in anticipation. I’m not that badly hurt, he wanted to protest. I can still run with the pack, I just need some time to get better, please.
When no killing curse came, he hesitantly opened one eye, looking up at his – friend? Acquaintance, anyway, and his dog, who looked most upset that she wasn’t allowed to be between her master and this strange wolf. Dogs always knew if you were a true wolf or a lycan, he had found. They were more uneasy around him, though the dogs in the pack got on with him well enough, if they could be a little rough sometimes. He wasn’t going to kill him, apparently, no, he was still talking, in the soothing, friendly voice. He truly was there to help.
Weakly, he raised his muzzle again, and licked Benjy’s hand, the wand hand. If the boy wanted to kill him, there was nothing he could do anyway, but Theo believed that he wanted to help. Strangers could be kind, no matter what Fenrir told them, and this one was. Maybe he would kill me if he knew what I was, he thought, glumly. Why did people hate werewolves so much? They were pest control, if they didn’t kill all the people that they did then who would? There would be wizards everywhere, hurting people and swanning around like the do-gooders they were, as if they’d never done anything wrong in their lives. He growled, quietly, and then broke off into a whine, to reassure the boy that he wasn’t growling at him. If he scared him off now, he would probably die, unless Fenrir found him first, and even his Alpha wasn’t very good at healing spells.Â
The creature was a peculiar one in Benjy's eyes, but one he found himself opening and warming to nevertheless. He would have thought that a dog - or wolf? He still wasn't quite sure - who was injured like this would be harder to approach, more scared or feral, and more aggressive in either case, he would have thought. And there were some signs that still confused him somewhat, but that, Benjy felt, spoke more of tentative fear than anything else. It was obvious it was hurt, but even though it was a creature living in the wild - there was no collar or anything anyway - it wasn't wild enough that the fight reaction was predominant in his reaction.
So it had let Benjy close, had let him touch it and treat the worst of the wounds with respectful care, after it had bared his teeth at him for so long. But it looked like Benjy's voice really did calm it, and soon it looked like Finja sometimes had done especially in the beginning, when she had shyly asked for affection. That made Benjy smile.
But just when he thought it was going well and he wanted to actually start healing, there was something - Benjy had no idea what - that actually frightened it, whining, making itself small, trying th crawl away. Benjy looked on in confusion and tried to shush it. "Hey, it's alright, really, I won't hurt you, I promise. What did I do to scare you? If I knew what, I wouldn't do it again, really... sshh, please calm down? I’m just going to start, and you’ll… see? That went well, and didn’t hurt… I hope it didn’t… right?”
Maybe it really was the fact that the animal realised that he wasn’t trying to hurt it, and that what he did actually made things better. At least it stopped being so afraid, and even, Benjy couldn’t quite believe his eyes, licked his hand. Was that animal really wild?
But it continued with these strangely mixed reactions that Benjy didn’t quite knew how to make sense of, but at some point he stimply started to ignore them and do his work.
He had just finished knitting up the last of the deeper woulds, and Benjy had to admit that he was somewhat proud of himself. Emmeline's lessons had paised off after all, because this here seemed to have gone without much of a hitch, and the wolf-dog looked as if it hadn't been hurt in any way in the process. Benjy guessed he'd have noticed that. He was just sitting back on his haunches when the animal gave what sounded like another rather amicable yelp in Finja's direction, and he smiled and glanced over his shoulder to where his baby girl was waiting somewhat apprehensively. "Come here, Finja, I think this means he's not going to do anything to us."
At the sound of her name she came instantly, but still approached and sniffed the wounded animal very cautiously and warily. Benjy raised his hand and stroke her neck soothingly, but still watching the wild animal's reactions closely.

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And we were infinite || Benjy & Mary
After the third drink, Mary had forgotten to keep track. It was a wonderful occasion, James would finally get into Lily’s pants, and they all should celebrate it. So she was drinking and laughing and dancing, and she wasn’t even sure who was the person talking with her, and it didn’t matter because she wouldn’t even remember it the next morning. It was the first time in months they had the time to just relax and enjoy each other’s company, which made her think that maybe they shouldn’t wait for the Order meetings to spend time together. Mary wasn’t exactly friends with most of the Order Members, but she liked them well enough. After all, they had become their family now that her father was away and they didn’t see each other as often.
As she toyed with the hem of her dress, she finished her drink and left the glass on some random table. It was late and they all were drunk as hell, even Emmeline and that was hilarious, but she couldn’t focus on anything. Mary had no idea where Sirius was, so that meant she would have to find a way to get home, probably using the floo network. She hadn’t eaten anything and she had drunk more than she should have, and she knew drinking wouldn’t make her problems go away, but at least she would forget about them for a few hours. Deciding it was for the best, Mary grabbed her jacket and walked out of the bar.
The beautiful village brought her so many lovely memories of her Hogwarts years, when everything was better and safer, but reality was hard to ignore. There were days she would like to come back to the safety only the Castle could offer, but that didn’t help at all. James and Lily were the perfect example that there were still good things worth to fight for and that was what got her out of bed every day, among other things she wasn’t ready to admit just yet.
With a long sigh, Mary looked around and wrapped her arms around herself, realising it probably hadn’t been her brightest idea. It was then when she saw a familiar face and she had to smile. “Benjy!” She waved at him and walked over to where he was. “Hey there, stranger. Nice to see you here.” It felt right, she had to admit, talking to him again. Things between them had been so awkward for months, because she knew she had no right to just walk back into his life and make a mess of it, not again. But she cared about him and they had been friends once, back when they were younger, and she supposed they could go back to that.
It was beautiful out here. Beautiful and peaceful. It was so quiet, the only sounds the crunch of the snow under his feet as he walked, everything else swallowed by the white blanket. Strange how it was already a bit more than half a year that he had last wandered these streets, on their last Hogsmeade weekend before graduation. It had been summer then, but somehow he had always loved Hogsmeade in winter most. Even when he had been younger. The snow made it seem like a long lost village out of old times, even out of a fairy tale. And then there was the fact that more memories had joined that feeling, memories of the happiest time of his life. Of holding hands and walking around with laughter on their lips, of snowball fights and hugs in the snow.
But those were days past. Benjy didn’t know if he was ever going to have that again, or maybe something similar. Right now it didn’t feel as if he would, for various reasons. Yes, since they had started talking again, Benjy had caught himself nurturing hopes that this hadn’t been all yet. After Halloween, after having dinner together, after that day they had found Finja… The way she was looking at him sometimes…
But even if not, even if he somehow, some day, would manage to get over her… right now Benjy couldn’t see it. And even if, chances were he’d die before that could happen. They were in a war after all, and he was on the front lines. And he had already been one breath away from death in that ruin…
Benjy shook his head and shook the thoughts off, blinking and seeing only snow again. He didn’t want to ruin this bit of peace he had just found for himself.
It was then that his name being called made him look up, and even before her, the immediate feeling of familiarity had already told him it was Mary.
She was looking lovely, smiling, her eyes catching the faint light from moon and stars up above just like the snow reflected it. And he couldn’t help smiling back, his heart equally feeling warm and tight. He wondered if that was ever going to stop.
“Hey you. Out here all on her own?” Benjy asked back, turning fully towards her, listening to the strange way his heart was beating. She had always been able to do that. “Don’t tell me you’re tired of partying.”
Hello there, lad. You lost?
No, sir. I was just playing here… Are you lost?
Who were these clowns? Fenrir growled to himself, but straightened up, attempting a smile. “Can I help you?”
Both the pups stopped, unsure, and Josaphine slipped her hand into Benjy’s again. “He looks mad. And… he… looks confused. There are two of them!” She didn’t like those odds. Even with their powerful Alpha and his magic, they were only small, and while they were good fighters, they might not be a match for the twins approaching. Theo growled quietly, shifting his weight to the balls of his feet, ready to pounce, if needed.
This man looked more like a feral child, fully grown. Even the smile was oddly predatory, canine teeth exposed and as their eyes met, Fabian felt very much like prey. It was a different sort of danger, this. Usually he thought about an opponent’s wand, the sort of spells they’d use, the curses he’d have to block. Now he found himself staring at the teeth, the hands…sizing up his opponent, his threat, like an animal might. This sort looked the type to attack or to lunge, to deck him out of the blue—all surprise and brute strength. Properly sober or alone, Fab might’ve been afraid—and rightly so. As was, he felt Gid behind him, and he hadn’t the time or the energy to be scared of some creepy Muggle mutt man lurking around kids.
"You can tell me what the hell you’re doing."
He spared the briefest of glances to the children before looking back at the beasty bloke. First rule of dueling…only a fool looks away. Lack of fear didn’t mean lack of caution.
"Kids," he said, eyes never leaving Fenrir, "Do you know this man?"
Suffice it to say, he didn’t look much like a dad.
Okay, the bloke did look a little dodgy. But still, who said he wasn’t the children’s father? “Fab!” he hissed his eyes never leaving the stranger. “Easy, yeah? We don’t know these people, technically this is none of our business.” Technically. In private he thought that his brother was right. The bloke could be anyone, a kidnapper who sold little children for a living. He had the looks for it.
Nevertheless, Fabian’s approach to the whole thing was probably not the best one. Ignoring the two other adults, Gideon crouched down and smiled reassuringly at the children. Their eyes were uncertain, hardly a surprise when two angry strangers suddenly appeared out of nowhere.Â
"Hey there, my name’s Gideon and this is my brother Fabian. Is this your daddy?"
It was kind of reassuring, to have the girl next to him slip her hand into his. Benjy took a step closer to her, their shoulders brushing, and watched quietly, not sure what was going on. Why were they mad? Had they done something bad? They had just been playing, right? It was, on top of it all, still somewhat confusing that they looked kind of the same, even though they also kind of didn't. Benjy's gaze flickered from one to the other.
Did he know this man? "This is Mister Fenrir," he said quietly, because he did know that. When one of the other two men knelt down in front of them, Benjy took an instinctive step back, even though he was smiling. But no, Fenrir wasn't his dad. Benjy slowly started to shake his head, and just then he didn't want anything more than for his dad to come and pick him up and bring him home.
Hello there, lad. You lost?
No, sir. I was just playing here… Are you lost?
"I’m gonna get you!" Theo glanced from one to the other, a grin on his lips, but the wolf was tense, in hunting mode. Josaphine squealed, pushing Benjy away from Theo, giggling. "Run Benjyyyy!"
Fenrir and Theo heard the undercurrent to her words. She wanted him to run, to run from them, so she could chase and bite. She liked this playmate, and she wanted to keep him.Â
Fenrir stayed just out of their play zone, waiting for the opportune moment - there were still people around, and he couldn’t afford to be discovered.
Gid’d dragged Fabian out…something about fresh air doing him good. But he was still a bit hungover, not that he’d admit it, and the park wasn’t exactly the best spot for quiet, what with the nature and the laughing children. As they got closer, Fabian glanced in the direction of the giggling, wondering if his ears were playing tricks on him or these kids were just louder than most, when he saw the man, keeping a careful distance. The man…if you could call him that.
Fucking hell.
Before he knew what was happening he was up, hurrying across the grass, Gid at his heels.
"Hey!"
Bloody hell, it was cold. Well, surprise, Prewett, it’s almost winter. Course it’s cold. Gideon’d turned up at his brother’s doorstep this morning, with another stupid excuse.Forgotten sweater. How creative. Fabian hadn’t looked too well, in fact he looked awful so he’d decided that a long walk would do them both good. A small stroll through the park,and breakfast afterwards. Maybe have a good talk.
He was contemplating wether he should just adress the elephant in the room, when his brother suddenly dashed off, walking towards a few playing children.
"Fab?" What was this about now? But then he realised that it weren’t the kids that had caught his brother’s attention. Oh Godric, here we go. Please don’t do anything stupid. But of course, he did what he always did, and followed his brother preparing to do damage control.
The other girl, Joe, was laughing, and Theo was grinning too, and Benjy let out a delighted sound as she pushed him, and he darted between two trees back towards the open meadow.
But his steps slowed as he saw an angry looking man - and behind him the same man again, only looking less angry - striding closer, towards the tall man, Fenrir, and Benjy stopped running insecurely. What was going on? Why were they angry?
Hello there, lad. You lost?
No, sir. I was just playing here… Are you lost?
"Pleasure to meet you, Benjy."
[Josaphine smiled, breaking into a run, tugging him after her] Tag! Theo’s it, cmon! [Theo good naturedly gave chase, jogging after the two little ones, Fenrir watching from a distance, walking after them as they led the boy towards the edge of the park]
With a laugh Benjy ran along after the girl, momentarily forgetting everything else but the game. They all seemed nice, and he couldn't remember when he had last played tag. While running he glanced back and saw the older boy jogging after them, and he laughed in excitement and ran around a few trees standing on the wide grass area.
Hello there, lad. You lost?
No, sir. I was just playing here… Are you lost?
"Hi Benjy."
"And my name’s Fenrir, lad, no need for the Sir."
[Josaphine took a step forwards, extending her hand to Benjy] “Come play with us?”
Benjy smiled at the girl and reached out to take her hand. "Hello... What are you playing?"
He looked all the way up at the man again then, so tall. "Fen...rir. Alright!"

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Hello there, lad. You lost?
No, sir. I was just playing here… Are you lost?
I’ll call them.
[He strode to the outskirts of the park, whistling.] Theo! Joe!
I’ve found you a new friend! This is Theo and Josaphine, what’s your name?
Oh. Hello Theo and Josaphine.
My name's Benjy. Sir, what's your name?
Hello there, lad. You lost?
No, sir. I was just playing here… Are you lost?
Your dad’s a clever man.
[Fenrir crouched down, looking at the boy] Your parents around? If not, I’ll bring them out to play. You’ll like them.
My dad's the most cleverest man I know.
My parents are... [He looked around, realising that he's confused.] I thought they were... I don't know. Your... where are your friends?
Hello there, lad. You lost?
No, sir. I was just playing here… Are you lost?
Sir, very polite young-un, aren’t you?
Y’know, I’ve got some friends who’d love to meet you.
My dad says always be polite.
You do? What friends?
Hello there, lad. You lost?
No, sir. I was just playing here... Are you lost?
My muse has been transformed into a child through the use of magic or a wayward experiment! Come into my ask box with your muse's reaction to finding mine suddenly de-aged

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Teach Me How to Breathe || Trick or Treat || Benjy & Mary
The blood on her hands let her know it wasn’t just a cut and that he needed help, and they could definitely talk about it for minutes and minutes but that wouldn’t do any good. She had not healing training, and as much as wanted to help, the chaos was enough to distract her every few minutes or so, she could barely catch a breath. Maybe he didn’t want her help, maybe he didn’t like her at all. Hell, he probably hated her. It wouldn’t surprise her, not after everything she had done to him. It was easier if he did, it made it easier for them to let go and move on. Benjy definitely deserved happiness and she was just a bad memory.
Not the moment to dwell on that, there were more important things like getting him out of there, and she knew she should take him to St. Mungo’s. “I can’t apparate us.” Not only because she was shaking and probably would hurt him even more, but because there were in the middle of a Muggle street. The Muggles had seen enough for one night and it had to be terrible watching their kids killing themselves without being able to do anything to stop it, and they couldn’t understand what was happening either. Mary wasn’t a mother, she knew she would never become one, but she couldn’t even imagine the pain and horror they were all experiencing.
Mary knew freaking out wasn’t the solution, but even if Benjy kept telling her he was fine and it was just a cut, she just couldn’t help herself. “You can’t promise me that.” Promises were so easily broken, words that would be forgotten. They were in the middle of war where horrible things like that happened and they couldn’t do anything but watch, that didn’t sound fair, it was cruel and disgusting. Benjy couldn’t promise her that he wasn’t going to die because they both knew any of them could die at any moment, especially with both being Order Members, especially her being a Muggleborn.
His words reached her ears and she was trying, fucking trying, but she felt something heavy on her chest. Mary gasped for air, it was painful, but the cold air reached her lungs and she coughed. “Okay,” she agreed breathlessly, there was no other way. They couldn’t do anything, but staying there to watch wasn’t a good plan either. “Let me-” she stopped to take a deep breath. “We need a Mediwizard for you. This is not just a cut, Benjy. You’re bleeding and you need help and I can’t give it.” she was useless, she couldn’t even breathe properly, there was no way she could help him.
No, Benjy definitely agreed about that. He wasn’t going to let Mary apparate anywhere, not with him, and not without him, not in that state she was in. No matter how hard he would have to fight her on this. But it seemed like she knew this couldn’t end up well herself right now, because… Well. It didn’t take more than one look at her pale face and shaking hands to know this.
“It’s fine,” he tried to tell her, tried to catch her gaze and calm her down somewhat more. “You don’t have to. I need a minute, okay? I can do this myself. Just stop it from bleeding, I can do that. Just… please shield me from view for a moment?” he added, his gaze flickering over her shoulder. Most of the muggles’ attention was still on what was going on further down on the square, but a handful of times one of them would glance over, even though no one ever came close.
Benjy was still trying to breathe calmly, even though the wound on his stomach was throbbing sharply, making that difficult. But he tried to exert every bit of composure he had in him to not upset her more, just pulling out his wand again. Emmeline had taught him how to do this for occasions exactly as this one, the most basic form of healing to stop someone from bleeding out, just knitting wounds back together enough to stop the blood from pouring out.
It wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to concentrate enough even for something basic as this when it came to healing, not under these circumstances, and not with Mary kneeling in front of him and looking at him like this. But Benjy forced himself to focus, to say the incantation, make the small twirl with his wand, and then have the strange sensation going through him of the spell knitting the deeper layers of his skin back together. It made him twitch a little in surprise, but when he glanced down and wiped the blood off his skin, he saw that the cut was still there, raw and angry, but that it had stopped bleeding.
His gaze flickered up to Mary’s face then, and he found her eyes, his heart jumping nervously when he saw that she still hadn’t completely calmed down. “See? I’m not going to die today, I can promise you that. You can… Sshhh, hey, Mary,” he interrupted himself then, both his hands coming out to gently, very gently take her by the upper arms and direct her gaze back to him. “Please breathe. You need to help me up, okay? Please help me get away from here, and then we can get to the hospital, and I promise I’ll be fine. Please, I need you right now… stay with me?”
The words simply stumbled out of him, and he had no idea if they even worked, if she would even want this, if he was fucking something up again now. But he did need her. His legs felt weak and he was still in pain and he needed to get up and get out of here to make sure he really wouldn’t die, but there was so much more to it than just that.
Maybe he really had been deluding himself all this time.