Belinda vs. The Swedish Heatwave (28°C)
Breaking news from Sweden.
The government has officially advised people to remain calm after temperatures reached a catastrophic 28°C.
Belinda, however, has already entered survival mode.
At 08:15 she closed every curtain in the house, declared the living room a “climate refuge,” and whispered to the refrigerator, “We’re in this together.”
By noon she had consumed three iced coffees, two watermelons and approximately half a bag of frozen peas… not because she intended to cook them, but because they felt comforting against her forehead.
Belinda stared into the distance.
“Is it? Or are we simply being gently baked like cinnamon buns?”
The birds had stopped singing.
The neighbor’s cat looked emotionally exhausted.
Even the mosquitoes seemed too sweaty to bite.
At 3 p.m. Belinda bravely ventured outdoors. A tiny breeze appeared.
It felt like someone had opened the oven to check if Sweden was done.
She retreated inside after 47 seconds and announced she had “seen enough.”
By evening she had reached the final stage of Scandinavian heat adaptation:
She was considering turning the vacuum cleaner on
…just to remember what cold air used to feel like.
Tomorrow the forecast says 29°C.
Belinda has already started writing her will.
Mrs. Olsen has packed sunscreen.
Belinda has packed emotional support ice cubes…
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