just float.

I’m feeling so defeated and deflated.

And it’s probably warranted if I’m being honest.

We have to save up for a condo or live with our in laws for a while.

Its recent news, only found out a few days ago.

Lots of lessons learned, I feel anxious and disappointed in myself. I’ve owned up to it with my boss but she’s still really upset.

We were ready a year ago but who knows why the universe threw us the curveball that it did: a whole uterine surgery and a 6 month delay.

Fibroid AND a cyst in my uterus. Like cmon universe, give a girl a break. I just had surgery for this 6 months ago.

And you know what- fuck the cyst, because the fibroids were relatively painless but this bitchass cyst is painful.

It’s like everytime we get close to start trying to conceive, some thing else happens that moves the goal post further away. It’s not fair to us. He reassured me he understands it’s out of our control, but a small part of me is sad recognizing that it’s my own body slowing us down.

I trust the timing of the universe, I’ll give this up to god and science.

I have a doctors appointment in a week or so to talk through options and next steps.