Lead Me

**Excerpt from Practical FLR: Destroying The Taboo**

This is a spiritual book. Volume two, Practical FLR: A Woman’s Guide To Gentle Dominance was a sexual book. The reason I decided to write a third book is because so many people will never experience a female led relationship because taboo won’t let them. I wanted to examine taboos, and help expose their limitations, so that as many people as possible can see them in a new light and move beyond them.

Taboos are really nothing more than thoughts implanted within our minds by society. Taboos create mindsets that involve judgment rather than experience. Just the idea of a dominant woman for example, is one taboo that creates so much judgment, that many women don’t even believe they’re capable of taking charge on any capacity. Yet deep inside, they know they want to take charge, or at the very least, express themselves more fully, and communicate more openly.

Many don’t because the taboo says that’s not acceptable, there is difficulty finding encouragement within family, friends, and culture. Resigning women to settle for less than they know they deserve. It’s a taboo that does not help women become empowered enough to call their partner out when they’re not being in touch with her emotionally or mentally. It creates an automatic confusion between understanding the opposite sex. As a result, the conventional relationship typically suffers from a lack of harmony within the relationship.

It is for this reason that I have decided to write this book. Whether people know it or not, the ultimate goal of human life is to spiritually awaken and free ourselves from suffering. The problem is, most people don’t even know what suffering is, or even deny that they are suffering. Suffering is, but not limited to, stress, anxiety, insecurity, anger, depression, annoyance, greed, narcissism, and apathy. Suffering is negativity. Suffering is pessimism. Suffering is limitation. Suffering is ignorance. It is suffering that keeps the life we want, just out of reach.

The nature of suffering is thought. It is our thoughts that limit our perspectives, reactions, replies, and behavior. All of us are born with a core personality, that does not require thought. Some of us are naturally talented, others naturally charismatic or quirky, we all have unique qualities to offer the world. The problem is,  it’s difficult to offer those qualities when we have covered them up with thoughts. All humans want to feel good, the reason we suffer, is because we think feeling good, has to come from a condition. An achievement or accomplishment of some kind, or from someone else. The need to feel validated, recognized, or complimented.

The moment we allow these conditions to determine how we feel, we will suffer. We have become experts at this, we identify with our vehicles, homes, jobs, money in the bank, and so on. We do this so much, to the point of forgetting our real identity, because we can’t be that person when we have bills to pay. At least, that’s the lie we tell ourselves to validate our suffering. So we have assumed the identity of the person struggling to pay bills, and we get stressed out, depressed and lonely. We then get into a relationship with someone, as that person.  It doesn’t typically turn out very well.

One unique quality of suffering, is that it’s very good at defending itself. Our mind will always come up with an excuse of some kind, as to why things are the way they are, and why we’re helpless to do anything about it. Or it’ll defend itself through the comfort zone, and not see a reason to change. It may also point the blame to others, stirring more conflict and suffering. Recognizing this defensive nature of suffering is the first step to overcoming it. It’s this recognition that gives you a yearning for change, which opens up the possibility for it.

This is what makes a female led relationship so unique. It’s a relationship that is designed to work with our core personalities, allowing each partner to be their genuine selves. It’s a relationship that helps each partner overcome their suffering, by allowing each other to become mentally and emotionally naked. It’s a foundation that is built from the very beginning, on integrity and trust.

It’s not a type of relationship where you can pretend, put on an impression, or try to prove yourself. It’s designed to draw out the best qualities of both partners, and the moment that stops, it’s noticed, it’s felt, and it’s not tolerated. But that non tolerance doesn’t result in the typical argument, or fight. It’s openly communicated, and recognized as something both partners can work toward solving, often through some form of D/s agreement or discipline, or deeper intimacy and acceptance.

It is a way of self analysis and that creates room for change. When a couple enters into this space together, it’s extra powerful because it automatically creates a support system. It generates trust in each other as they explore, which enables them both to feel safer, and more accepted. It’s a kind of spiritual growth.

It’s also a kind of personal growth that brings each partner in touch with their own emotions. Emotions bring clarity and understanding that awakens us from suffering. Arguments and lack of connection only occurs when there is a resistance or reaction to emotion.   It’s through emotion that we figure things out and connect with others. The biggest secret to fear, is that fear doesn’t like to feel itself. In other words, we overcome suffering when we allow ourselves to feel emotions, even if they’re uncomfortable. All suffering is fear based in some way or another.

When we are children, we are very good at feeling all kinds of emotions, and letting them go right away. For example, if someone insults a child at the age of 6, that child is going to cry for about 5 minutes, before they’re back to laughing and playing in the playground, likely with the same person that insulted them. The child doesn’t take it personally any longer than that 5 minutes. Yet, if an adult gets insulted, it’s going to ruin their day, and they’re going to be mad at that person, for weeks, and they might not get over it for months or even years! We might want to ask the question who is more mature?

Adults have to relearn how not to identify with emotion, and simply just feel it as it arises. They must create a space and witness the emotion. Who we really are, is not emotions or thoughts, we are the awareness that has the experience of them. So we have a unique ability to witness emotions, and when we do that, our identity with them is removed, and they are let go. What’s beyond that, is who we really are, and the end of suffering.

The point of a female led relationship, or at least, the point I wish to emphasis, is to rise above the mediocre of the typical relationship and move into new heights of human consciousness and personal growth. A female led relationship is really about facing taboo’s and inhibitions, to change how we think and feel by opening up to new possibility and potential.

Few relationships experience a lasting harmony because the couple fails to grow personally and spiritually. Routine sets in, minds close off and that results in failure to innovate and bring fresh romance to the relationship. Even fewer people attempt to understand their own sexual nature, and explore with a willing partner. This results in a lack of sexual charge, which reduces sexual attraction to their partner over time.

Sexual charge is not the same as simply being horny. Sexual charge is allowing the feeling of being horny, to rise up through the entire body, providing a much stronger sense of being alive and connection to ourselves. Sexuality is about far more than most of us have been led to believe.

It’s important to understand this sexual charge, because sexuality unlocks key aspects of our core personality that contain our inner desires. It brings an extra dimension to the experience of life. When someone is sexually charged, they will discover the beauty of sexual fulfillment. Sexual fulfillment brings the experience of bliss and joy, or at least, peace, into daily life. It’s like a cheat code for invincibility in a video game, and so few people ever discover their sexual depths. Never mind having a relationship based on it! A female led relationship works with this sexual nature, automatically bringing intuition, wisdom, and emotional intelligence to both partners.

There are many taboo’s that prevent people from exploring beyond their normal range of thought.  One taboo that many people tend to gravitate toward when it comes to female led relationships, is the idea that women are superior, and that the world should live in a matriarchy. This is a radical idea, and this book is not about that in any way, shape, or form. This book is about giving women back the power they deserve which helps to make the world a better place, one relationship at a time.

Men and women are interdependent upon each other. Both genders have unique qualities to offer. More importantly, on an individual basis, regardless of gender, we all have individual unique qualities to offer. There are dominant men, and there are submissive males. The same applies to women. A female led relationship certainly does not appeal to everyone, and it won’t work for everyone. It will only work for those that match the required unique qualities that compliments their own. Every female led relationship is different, there is no one size fits all. The one size fits all model, is just another taboo.

To create a harmonic female led relationship, first we must understand where our sense of identity comes from through self analysis and see beyond the ego trap. How did we get like this?

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Practical FLR: Destroying The Taboo

*** Excerpt from Practical FLR Destroying The Taboo***

Submissive males have value because of what they can bring to the table. Once a D/s dynamic is has broken the barriers, and his submission is accepted by her, the relationship enhancing qualities of his submission can finally be expressed. A woman that might have once pushed the idea away, will truly begin to feel liberated as his submission to her begins to feel genuine. On the other side of the inferior / superior complex, is genuine power exchange. It’s this genuineness that creates the integrity of a female led relationship.

At first, as the power exchange becomes more intense, she may feel a sense of superiority over him, and it’s very easy to fall into the degradation trap, but if she is careful, and observing her ego, she will find that her dominance from this point on, only enhances his submission bringing more and more value to her life, sexually and non. Degradation isn’t needed to force her dominance, just being playful with it and experimenting with it in loving ways, is far more effective. It’s her dominance that he craves far more than degradation.

One of the biggest benefits of submissive males, is not in the dominance nor the submission itself. It’s in the emotional intelligence that is realized through the depth of connection D/s brings. His ability to sense her moods, or be attentive to her needs without even having to be told, will dramatically increase as his submission increases. She will feel more understood, and emotionally supported by her partner, because he will have intuitively risen to her level of understanding. It’s next level chemistry, that often even the honeymoon phase of conventional relationships never reach!

It’s the level of chemistry they he has always craved, and wanted to express with another. Many submissive males live as lost souls having no idea how to be accepted in this world, because they’re seeking a chemistry with another that is far deeper than most people know is even possible. Instead, femdom makes fun of them and calls them beta males and not real men. Femdom fails completely to see how valuable he is, and just takes advantage of him. His value is then reduced to how much he has in his wallet. It takes the genuine out of his submission, and turns it into a lie, keeping him a lost soul still searching for his dominant dream girl.

The value that this level of chemistry brings to both partners cannot be described with words, because it must be experienced to be understood. It goes beyond chemistry, where just the presence of each partner will be felt. It’s similar to when you have a pet, like a cat or a dog, and when it sadly passes away, you feel like the house is more empty, like there’s a presence that is missing. It’s difficult to describe what the presence of an animal feels like, but it’s certainly noticeable when that presence is no longer there. There will be a palpable presence felt between each other though the D/s power exchange. Harmony arises with each other on a spiritual level, and this harmony has it’s own unique benefits, as it brings deep peace and clarity to both partners. This presence alone, can bring feelings of bliss that is not sexual, yet rivals the pleasure attained through orgasm.

Submissive males have value because they have the ability to reach mental, emotional, sexual and spiritual levels that are equal to a Disney princess movie happy ending. It’s all because, he wants what she wants. He’s a male that is so curious about her, that he wants to participate in everything to do with her. Since she can decide how much he is allowed to participate, he can never get over bearing, or too clingy. He can only submit at the level she allows and disciplines him to be. He literally wants what she wants.

It’s not just that he wants what she wants, he needs what she wants. Every single time she makes a decision for him, he feels incredible, he feels like it’s exactly as it should be, because her pleasure, sexual or non sexual, brings him joy.  He wants to shower her with attention, and support her in every way, as much as she’ll let him. He wants to learn to trust her judgment, trusting that she knows what’s best for him. He’s completely giving himself to her.

He is dedicated to not only wanting to understand her, but bring as much value to her life as he possibly can. Yet most women have no idea how far and how deep they can allow him in, because he’ll want to go as far as he can without making her feel uncomfortable. He will bring more value the more she allows him into her feminine world. This is where her dominance is respected, it’s really up to her, how much value she wants him to bring her.

He must lose all fear of the powerful feminine, and respect the feminine as much as his masculinity, so that he may serve her properly. It is a humbling process because of the powerful effect the feminine has always had on him. The effect of the feminine is so powerful that he was willing to be degraded and thought himself to be worthless, in an attempt to cater to his core need to submit to that power.

In the absence of the fear of the feminine, her power can only be adored and appreciated. Her power is amplified by her beauty, which creates a loyalty that would make a monogamous relationship jealous. With this kind of loyalty, there is never any doubts. It’s a knowing, an unmistakable bond. He is offering all of himself to her, and all she needs to do is accept and embrace him for who he is.

Not only that, but it also unlocks her ability to open up to trusting him completely because of that loyalty. It allows her to be completely honest with herself, and with him about herself. Things that she could only talk about with her girlfriends, she can now talk about with her partner, without any awkwardness, without any reservations, without any inhibitions of any kind. This is deeper than open communication, because it includes all the unspoken emotions, because she knows he’s by her side, no matter what. He’s loyal, and always there for her, making her feel safe. 

Both partners always want to feel safe, his submission and loyalty to her, will make her feel safe, which in turn, will make him feel safe. This sense of safety does not lack vulnerability, actually it includes vulnerability. Feeling safe to be vulnerable. Through D/s, the sexual charge generated from the ability to feel vulnerable and completely supported, is already intense before you even begin to play with any kinks or fetishes. Vulnerability has a sexual depth and strength that will impact both partners in wonderful ways inside and outside of the bedroom. Submissive males want to feel just as safe as women do.  The experience of feeling safe being vulnerable with another is something that should be treasured.

It can truly be a lifestyle where a woman can truly let a male into her life, and trust him with the utmost integrity knowing he is dedicated and devoted to her forever. With no worries about who will do the household chores, or run errands, or give free back and foot massages at any time, or orgasms on demand to ease the stress of daily life. How many conventional relationships have access to all that? Submission has value because it can free her from the bondage of culture.

One of the major taboo’s that prevent women from seeing the value of submissive males, is the taboo that submissive males are submissive to everyone. This is a false assumption that once again puts all submissive males into the same box, without promoting any understanding. This is untrue for many submissive males out there.

The majority of submissive males actually try to hide their submissive tendencies as much as they possibly can, because they don’t want to submit to just anyone. They’re waiting for that special someone to come into their life, in which they can express that side of themselves with. It’s something that often must be earned or recognized for him to be able to open up about it. Many women end up putting submissive males in the friend zone because they are blind or uninterested in the value his submission can bring them.

Yet for the woman that does see his submissive qualities, there is no one else in the world that he wants to be submissive too.  He doesn’t want to throw himself at the feet of some random stranger, that was never his true desire.  He wants to submit to her, because of the recognition she pays him by accepting his submissive qualities. How beautiful is that? She becomes his world, and nothing matters more to him than that.

This is why submissive males have value.  Utilize that value in a respectful way, and submissive males will only fall deeper into loving submission while she always maintains and happily remains his dominant leader.

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There is a level of relationship that is simply above and beyond what conventional relationships offer or experience. Human beings have the ability to connect with each other on levels deeper than the vast majority of humans have ever experienced.

Conventional relationships tend to scratch the surface layer of this connection. They offer you a partner that is compatible with you in the sense of chemistry or hobbies. You have things in common and your personalities tend to match each other. These are the qualities people look for in a partner. If there’s chemistry and attraction, that’s often as far as the conventional relationship needs to go in order to get the job done.

Chemistry and attraction is enough to scare loneliness away and keep you occupied planning a life with this partner. This is often enough for many people, they have kids and live happily ever after or until mid life crisis… Whichever comes first. Despite it being an acceptable relationship it’s often a relationship that simply doesn’t go deep enough for many people. There’s an understanding that while it’s deep enough to love, and not be lonely and build a life, it’s not deep enough to show your partner who you really are.

Yet the conventional relationship is so valuable, that you cherish your partner, you also want to take them into a deeper connection. This is where a female led relationship begins. It cannot begin at any earlier stage, not if it’s to be a long term lifestyle type of relationship. Female led relationships demand commitment.

That’s the first benefit. A relationship that demands commitment is already stronger than the conventional relationship and signing a legal document at marriage. Female led relationships demand commitment long before marriage. This kind of commitment is deeper than marriage ever could be, because it’s experienced it’s developed in pure trust and surrender. Which leads to to benefit number 2.

A female led relationship has a built in trust. There is never any concern about what the other partner may be doing if they’re late from work or who they might be looking at. There’s never any jealousy, or miscommunication. The trust runs deep enough that it is beyond worry. It creates benefit number 3. Loyalty.

As dominant and submissive, there’s a level of loyalty that brings both partners together on an emotional level so profound it’s palpably felt. They both just feel safe with each other, and that allows for both partners to fully be themselves without judgement. Which is benefit number 4. Open communication.

Open communication means that all emotions are talked about, all vices, all stress, every little thing that could cause trouble is recognized and understood. It creates a support system for each other where any and all arguments can be swiftly dealt with, without anger, but with love. Open communication eliminates the conventional power struggle and gives the fifth benefit of a FLR. A new way to argue that doesn’t jeopardize the relationship.

Because of this harmony sexuality plays a major role. It brings both partners sexuality into the relationship. As dominant and submissive, every aspect of the relationship can be sexualized if the need arises. Which means both partners can always be in a state of sexual charge. The sixth benefit of a FLR. Sexual charge.

Sexual charge is something few human beings ever experience. Sexual charge is not the same as being horny. Being sexually charged is a state of being where your body is filled up with sexual energy beyond your sexual organs. When this occurs it feels like you are filled with vitality. Everything in life just has more zest more vibrancy more excitement. Just being alive is miraculous when you are sexually charged. Which has many other effects on your personality and how you deal with stress and daily life.

It also gives you the ability to meet your partner at the deepest of sexual depths and power exchange far beyond what a conventional relationship can offer.

These are just a few of the real benefits that a female led relationship can offer. To find out more benefits of a FLR and how to take steps to living this lifestyle check out my book series Practical FLR.

Thank you

Volume 3 of the Practical FLR series was written to shine a light on the spiritual benefits a FLR can bring to the table. It’s about looking at a FLR through a magnifying glass, beyond the fantasy, and beyond the taboo surrounding it. It’s written to help people understand FLR, and to help them be understood by their partners.

It really tries to get to the heart of what D/s is, and what it means in a relationship. How a relationship can have complete harmony because of the lack of power struggle, replaced by power exchange.  Many people know which side of the D/s scale they fall on, and often don’t know how to express it. Others, may need some sorts of catalyst to expose them to it, and once exposed they quickly discover their preferred side of the D/s scale.

It’s often discovered in childhood or teenaged years, where the idea of having power, or giving it up, is a turn on. However in a world designed to pit the opposite sex against each other, it’s often forgotten in the struggle for power, and many relationships end up being based off the idea of possessing the other, and being dependent upon them for happiness. It makes it difficult then, to communicate the desire to submit, or dominate because there’s a lack of trust.

This lack of trust and communication issues, often leads to unhappy and unsatisfying relationships, and furthermore, often sparks depression, and or cheating. Arguments and routine become the normal, and the passion is sucked out of the relationship. It is the suppression of D/s in the first place, that leads to unhealthy emotional states allowing for relationships lacking harmony.  

Being a D or s is more often than not, something an individual cannot change about themselves. It’s something that speaks to them on a level beyond explanation. It’s just who they are. If it’s not who they are, then they’ll find themselves not in alignment with it, not happy with it. However, those who explore that side of themselves often find that it compliments their entire personality, being able to express this side of themselves with another. To be seen that naked, and accepted by another, is the fulfillment they have always sought, even if they’re not fully aware of it.

Destroying the Taboo is about helping people become aware of it, and understand themselves on that level. The more we can know ourselves the more fulfilled we are, and the more we can offer our partners, and the world. When we truly know ourselves, we no longer need validation from others, or need to impress others, we can simply be ourselves, and know its enough. We just have to destroy the taboo to break through the barriers of understanding, so we can live the life of our dreams.

Bondage is bonding. Bondage can be one of the most fun and erotic activities in a FLR because it has benefits for both the dominant and the submissive, and it can be incredibly creative!  It can be about control and helplessness, raw vulnerability, or it can be much more fun and entertaining.  It can also be incredibly intimate, and really help the D/s dynamic develop a foundation of trust and power exchange.

Many submissives, are initially shy when it comes to truly submitting to a woman. Yet the idea of bondage is often incredibly arousing especially if he is new to submitting, because it instantly brings his submission to the forefront. It helps him understand how to submit because there is no effort required on his part, beyond allowing himself to be tied up in the first place. Once that is out of the way, he is forced to submit, and forced to trust her with everything. It’s a delicious amount of power for a dominant, because if she is new to dominance, she gets to take her time with him, and understand that she is in control of what happens, when it happens and how it happens. Listening to his pleas for mercy can be the first big step into discovering her power and how her power can sexually charge her up in ways few things ever have before.

Bondage simply helps both dominants and submissive to better understand their roles, and who they are at their core. It’s one fetish that can very easily deepen the d/s dynamic, after a single session. The playful teasing that can occur can also bring about deep intimacy, and it can also serve as a great way to train the submissive in Karezza stamina.  Short bondage sessions can have long lasting effects that even filter though into daily life, because of the mindset induced. It helps a submissive understand how to let go more of his ego, and serve her better just though attitude alone. Vulnerability opens him up, and as long as he feels safe being vulnerable, he begins to feel like he belongs to her, and that’s the best feeling in the world to him.  

His eagerness to serve and belong to her equally empowers her need to dominant him because his attention, and desire for her, is something she has always craved, his need to understand her, helps her finally be understood, because she can do it on her terms, without any pressure. Bondage can also serve to help her overcome any sexual inhibitions she might have, because she can take her time, and instruct him on how to pleasure her, anywhere she chooses, however she chooses. This is why bondage is so intimate, it simply has a way of breaking barriers because its that powerful.

It can be fun and entertaining as well, there’s all sorts of ways to do predicament bondage, make it an intense but fun and arousing activity, even if it doesn’t lead to sex. Bondage doesn’t require sex to be white hot arousing, but it can certainly be an amazing aspect of foreplay. Or perhaps punishment.

Once a submissive feel safe being vulnerable, he’s going to feel at home in bondage. He’s going to feel more safe and secure, and cared for and loved, while bound. He craves it, because it helps him go deep into subspace, and that’s where all submissives want to dwell. In subspace, is the pure bliss of service to her. There is nothing else there. She is his only purpose, and subspace is the only place he can fulfill that purpose. It’s a state of pure love for her, and she can receive as much of it as she wants. That’s the power of bondage.

What seems like a simple fetish, that doesn’t make sense to a whole lot of people on the outside looking in, is really a beautiful way to express love. To go deep into love, and be completely raw with each other. Bondage is bonding, but eventually keeping him bound, gives them both more freedom than they have ever imagined possible. So go and buy some ropes and play, which is what D/s is all about.

Build the FLR of your dreams with my Practical FLR book series! 

A FLR is not just a kinky relationship. While it may have its kinks, it goes much deeper than that. It is a relationship that is designed to go beyond the surface layer of need and wants. It’s designed to go beyond the surface layer of fetish and kink as well. It’s not a relationship just designed to get each other off and support each others emotional needs. Any relationship with a bit of kink and chemistry can accomplish that.

A FLR goes beyond all of that. It includes all of the above, but it opens the door to go deeper, much deeper. As a couple explores aspects of power exchange, the need for vulnerability gets higher and higher. New desire emerges out of it, and it’s not sexual desire, it’s the desire to exchange power, it’s the desire for each others energy. A FLR is designed to help each partner discover their masculine or feminine sides, through exchanging each others energy with each other. This is why dominant women gain confidence, and make decisions easier, and feel less guilt and insecurity. It’s why submissive males are drawn to trying on feminine clothes, and ever so curious to understand what makes her tick. Submissive males are opening up beyond their macho ideas and understanding emotion through power exchange.

This exploration of energy is at the core of all human intimacy. Because what its doing, is helping each other understand themselves on a deeper level, so they can share more of themselves with the other, and most important, rather than be judged, are accepted completely and totally. It’s the opportunity to be vulnerable, and yet safe at the same time. It’s about exploring all the emotions on the human spectrum for both partners, and this brings them into deep connection with each other.

As this exploration continues, the combination of new kink, and discipline, and exploration of boundaries, and rules, and behavior changes and lifestyle changes, makes for a relationship that can’t be matched in any other way. It creates a connection that communicates on a level no one else can understand. So because of that you value each other, cherish each other, and trust each other, and nothing can get in the way of that. A FLR is really the definition of valentine. We all want that one person that gets us, that one person that understands all the things we don’t verbalize, the body language, as if they can read our mind, they meet us on that level, and you don’t understand how it works, it just does, and it flows, and you flow with it. 

A FLR is about learning to flow with your partner, and as a result of that, it can help teach you how to flow with life as well, because when you’re happy sexually, and you’re happy intimately, the smile on your face is contagious, and everyone else wants to know what drugs you’re on. Which makes your connection with your partner even more special, because they’re your drug, and you theirs. 

Give the gift of a FLR this Valentines day, with my Practical FLR book series.

One very interesting benefit of chastity, is that, over time and extended periods of chastity, the penis gets more and more sensitive.  This is beneficial in many ways, because so many submissive’s, and men in general, actually have no idea how good stimulation can feel. They have masturbated so much, that what they feel, is a numbed down version of what could feel amazing. In other words, it’s dull. 

Even just one week in chastity, will increase the sensitivity of the penis, because just rubbing against underwear or clothing rubs the nerves enough to become a little bit desensitized. Once secured inside the cage, it’s in it’s own protected little world, and the nerves heal rapidly. So when it is touched again, it’s extremely responsive and that much more intense. Combine that with him being extra horny for any kind of touch and stimulation, and you get a submissive that is desperate for release.  

Since he is extra sensitive, he will likely be able to cum a lot faster from far less stimulation, so it’s important that a domme knows this, and starts slowly, especially if she doesn’t want him to have a full release. A domme that knows how sensitive he has become can masterfully tease him, stimulate his sensitive nerves just enough, and lock him back up again, producing an extremely horny sub that he may not have felt since high school days. This will naturally also increase his obedience as his desperation continues to climb. Using his extra sensitive penis against him, is a beautiful way to expand her control and power over him, and make him feel completely owned.

It’s also ironic how extra sensitive nerves also means, that if stimulated in the old way, especially without any kind of lube, it will most likely rub him raw!  This means, that if he was to try to cheat, escape his cage, and try to masturbate, there’s likely going to be raw marks on his penis as evidence. This is one way to spot if he has been dishonest about chastity.  Once his penis is completely sensitized, it’s so easy to rub it raw, that the old habit of masturbation will forever be gone. So it’s a perfect benefit for a domme to get him back to being sensitive, so that he gets pleasure and stimulation that is approved by her, and only her. It benefits him too, because even the touch of a single finger will send orgasmic tingles up his spine.

This is one of the true benefits of using chastity within a FLR because it benefits both in very different ways, yet still compliments the power exchange completely. A domme will learn with her sub, as he gets more sensitive, to recognize the signs of his body when being stimulated, so she can produce perfectly ruined orgasms without him being able to do anything about it, because even he isn’t used to being that sensitive! She will come to know his own body, better than he does, now that’s control!

It also takes a while, should you take a break from chastity, to desensitize the penis. In order for him to be able to go back to masturbation, he’s going to have to end up rubbing it raw a few times, and wait for it to heal, before the penis gets used to being overstimulated again. So there’s no easy way back to the old way, however, most would never want to return. Few men truly know the pleasure of being stimulated by the slightest touch, and just how much joy it can bring.  Which is exactly how a domme wants to keep her submissive, desperate not for orgasm, but for any kind of touch, any kind of stimulation. His penis is locked in a cage and it’s all he can feel, inside that cage is a whole bunch of un-stimulated untouched nerves desperate for any kind of attention from the world beyond the bars. The world ruled by her.

Thank you for reading!  If you’d like to learn more about female led relationships, check out my Practical FLR book series.

Understanding his orgasm is a very important aspect of an FLR, be it a D/s FLR or a Vanilla FLR.  Lessons 8 and 17 both touched on this subject for a vanilla FLR, and the importance of denying him orgasm until she is ready to allow for it. This lesson is going to look deeper at his orgasm, and the different types of orgasms he is capable of.  Now that we understand the battle raging within him, between his ego, and his submissive desire, mentioned in lesson 28, it’s time to understand where his arousal comes into play.

Ego driven arousal, tends to lead to a frustrated horny submissive male.  Submissive desire driven arousal, tends to lead to a dedicated horny submissive male.  And more often than not, he is somewhere between the two.  She can use this to her advantage and help train him to her needs, using his own arousal against him.  There is a practice known as orgasm denial, and it’s an extremely common practice used in a D/s relationship be it female led, or male led.  Orgasm denial is a very powerful practice for enhancing the D/s aspect, and it is often the only kink many couples ever venture into, because its so powerful for both of them, that it’s all they need.

As a D/s FLR progresses, she is going to notice, that when he has an ejaculatory orgasm, he goes through a refractory period, his submissive desire drops off the map, he may not even want to be touched, his need for intimacy disappears.  His passion is gone, in a conventional relationship, it’s known as being spent.  This total drop in libido, desire, passion, intimacy, and submission, is considered normal and it can take him anywhere between 2 hours and a week to fully recover.

In a D/s FLR this is whats known as “sub drop” and it’s important to be aware of because the unexpected change in power dynamics directly after his ejaculation, hits suddenly, and it can cause emotional hardship. So it is important that she is aware of this refractory period that he experiences and take it into account before she allows him to have a full release ejaculation. This way she can be supportive of him, without being dominant, she can still be his leader, but the domination factor has to cool off temporarily because he won’t respond well to it.

The longer she decides to keep him denied between full releases, the stronger his ejaculations will be, each release will be mind blowing for him.  However, more often than not, the stronger his orgasm, the stronger the refractory period.  He may notice, that on top of his libido and submission dropping away, he actually feels down, maybe even slightly depressed, empty, drained, as if he gave up something.

All of his sexual feelings will have disappeared, and the state of being remaining without libido, feels dull and boring.  This is why so many submissive males, fall in love with being denied orgasm, because as long as he is denied, he never has to experience that. He discovers, over time, that denial and being horny, is a preferred state of being.  He typically will not be able stay in that state, due to weak will power, without her, and he knows it, creating a deep need for her.

She can work with this to cater to her own needs, and use his submissive desire through this and he will fall more and more in love with her as a result.  Full release orgasms are extremely pleasurable for him, and he will always crave one, while also wishing to be denied one.  This is the classic tug of war between his frustrated ego driven libido, and his dedicated submissive desire. This enables her to offer the possibility of a full release, perhaps if he is good.  It can be a lot of fun to play with this in a variety of ways through D/s.

If she doesn’t feel like giving him a full release, but still wants to play with him, and tease him, and make him more frustrated there are other kinds of orgasms she may give him.  She understands, that by teasing him, and bringing him to extreme arousal, his submissive desire increases exponentially as does her power. So teasing him can be incredibly arousing for her as well, not to mention fun.

She may decide to tie his hands to the bed, and simply be sensual with him, and bring him to the edge of orgasm.  She will learn a lot of things about him while doing this, including discovering that communication is more non-verbal than it is verbal.  She will begin to discover the signs his body makes, when he is getting close to the edge. It can take a bit of practice to notice the subtle signs, such as,  his abs tensing, or his breathing quickening, his toes may curl, his genitals will darken… Individual signs for each male.

As she gets to know these signs, she will develop intuition on when to stop stimulating him.  She can do this for as long as she likes and drive him wild in horny frustration/pleasure.  If chastity play is involved, she may decide to re-lock him without any release at all, making for a very submissive frustrated male.

If she does decide to give him a release, she can give him what’s known as a ruined orgasm. A ruined orgasm is one where she monitors his body very carefully, and allows him to go over the point of no return.  The point of no return is when ejaculation is going to happen, and there’s nothing that can stop it.  She can communicate with her submissive and have him tell her when he is getting close to this point. From there, she must read the signs, and instead of stimulating him over the edge, she brings him right to the edge, and then stimulates him just enough, to tip him over it.

If done correctly, there may be a few seconds delay, and then his semen will begin to dribble out, giving him a ruined orgasm.  A ruined orgasm is much less pleasurable than a full release one.  He will still feel it, but it will be more of a tease, like he’s about to have an orgasm, but he just can’t quite make it happen.

Afterward, he will feel less pressure, he will feel a little bit of sexual release, but his general horny and submissive desires will remain intact.  The refractory period is significantly reduced if not eliminated entirely, and he will still have ejaculated, keeping the D/s aspect fully intact.  This is often the preferred method of orgasm for him in an FLR, as he still get a tremendous amount of pleasure from it, and she has a lot of fun, it’s very intimate.

He is capable of another kind of orgasm, but it requires a slightly more open minded or kinky D/s couple.  All men have a prostate. The prostate is stimulated through anal play.  For the more adventurous D/s FLR couple, anal play will likely become a normal experience.  Using toys such as a butt plug on a submissive male, can greatly increase his submissive desire and sexual arousal.

Since there is something penetrating him, he feels vulnerable, and vulnerability is always arousing to a submissive. The feeling of being violated with every step, or the fullness feeling it brings him, humbles him.  Butt plugs can often be used as a way of pleasurable punishment.  She may decide to make him sleep with one in, or go to work with one, and there can be various sizes from comfortable to uncomfortable, giving her options.  A butt plug or a strap on can both be used to stimulate the prostate.

If he relaxes enough, he can experience a prostate orgasm through anal stimulation.  There are three different types of orgasms associated with stimulating the prostate.  One of these orgasms, is commonly called the super-O, because it causes an ejaculatory orgasm with a far greater amount of semen than usual, since it drains the prostate entirely.  This type of orgasm will drain him completely, and sometimes the refractory period from this orgasm, is lesser than a regular full release, because his prostate often radiates pleasure through his entire body, leaving him with a body high.

A super-O is typically done with penis stimulation after his prostate has been stimulated into pleasurable sensations.  It can take a while for the prostate to feel pleasurable from stimulation, typically he needs to relax and let it happen, putting him into a very submissive state.  His erection will disappear for a while, but once the prostate pleasure starts it will come back. If both are stimulated when it does come back, the climax can deliver out of this world shattering orgasms. I would imagine he would have to be a very good submissive for her to give him one of these.

The second type of prostate orgasm, is a dry one. These orgasms can also be very intense, but since there is no penis stimulation at all, there is no refractory period, and no semen.  These orgasms typically come from the acceptance, and being humbled by, being taken with a strap on.  Accepting the power exchange, and surrendering completely to being taken by her.  This can often become the new sex for him, and he can begin to crave dry prostate orgasms as a replacement for a regular full release, especially when a full release is rare.  She may decide to take him this way at any time, and since he is kept in a submissive state fueled by his own arousal, he will be quite happy to submit to her for this, even if it makes him feel vulnerable, the D/s dynamics here can be played with to a variety of degrees.  In one degree, it could be a way of feminizing him, in another degree, she could simply become a strict mistress. It all depends on her style as mentioned in previous lessons.

The third type of prostate orgasm, is what’s known on the internet, as a sissygasm. This type of orgasm requires direct anal stimulation of the prostate, repetitively, with no stimulation of the penis whatsoever, until the prostate releases its fluids and he ejaculates hands free.  Often, this is done with him wearing a chastity device the entire time, keeping him in a submissive state all the way through it, even if he drops his libido for a while, his submissive desire, is more powerful than his ego, and he remains submissive even without libido.  This is typically for more advanced D/s FLRs, and many never need to go this far. But it can be comforting for her to know, that as the relationship progresses, there are different kinds of orgasms she can give him, that suit their relationship, and her style.

Lastly, there is a way to make him ejaculate without an orgasm at all. This is known as milking.  If she wishes to deny him for extended periods of time, without giving him any orgasmic release whatsoever, she can still keep him healthy through milking him.  This will drain his sexual fluids, taking a bit of the pressure off, but there will be no refractory period, and his submission and libido will remain fully intact. To milk him, the prostate must be stimulated in a very specific way, and the first time can take a little while, but it will get easier with him, especially if his prostate is full. She can use a finger, or a smaller device, to gently apply pressure on the prostate, and ignore his penis.  Since there is little friction, and only gentle pressure, there is no pleasure, it may in fact be uncomfortable, and he will feel like he needs to pee.  Soon, fluid will begin to drip out of his flaccid penis and she can continue this until he is dry.  There should be no pain, and no pleasure, just a light discomfort sensation of being drained. Then his denial continues.

Orgasm control, and orgasm denial, can be a huge aspect of a D/s FLR. The amount of power it gives her, the level of submission it takes him, can be an incredible aspect between them.  Determining what he gets, when he gets it, and having fun with it in the process is what makes an FLR so much fun and intimate.  It can often be the only kink necessary, there often isn’t a need for anything beyond it, because it can be that fulfilling and exciting for both partners. Especially when his orgasm is entirely based on the quality of orgasms he gives her. It makes for a dedicated submissive to her pleasure.

In the end, her pleasure will be the focus, and she can bring him so deep into submission, that he will actually be able to feel her orgasms, through his body. She orgasms for the both of them. Known as a tantric orgasm, the ultimate orgasm of an FLR.  The D/s dynamics can get that interesting!

Want to discover the wonderful benefits of a female led relationship? Check out my Practical FLR book series here!

One very interesting aspect of a FLR, and in particular, of submissive males, is that they are eager to please. Submissive males want to please, it makes them feel good to give pleasure.  Especially sexual pleasure, but it doesn’t have to be sexual. They will happily clean the bathroom just to be told they’re a good boy, and win approval or brownie points toward a possible release from chastity. However, most submissives males, while eager to please, are quite clueless on how to go about it. They want to please her their way, in any way they know how. A smart submissive understands he must not only be eager to please, but also, eager to learn. 

Lets face it, most males in general, are terrible at eating pussy. If she isn’t on her back shuddering, and grabbing his hair and pulling him closer, moaning while she does it, he’s not doing a good enough job. As his dominant, never be afraid to speak up about it from the get go. Tell him exactly how you want him to improve, tell him what techniques work and also tell him to be creative.  When you don’t know what’s coming, sometimes that can bring very intense orgasms. So a sudden change in tongue pattern, or a finger at the right time can make all the difference in the world.

Remember that his orgasms depend upon the quality of your orgasms, so he has every incentive to please you the right way. Give him lots of opportunities to practice, that’s the beauty of having a submissive in the first place, he’s always ready and eager for you. You can quickly teach him to be an oral expert, even if it was an awkward road to getting there, submissives learn quickly if you’re dedicated to teaching them. Before long all you will have to do is lay back and relax while he goes to town, and that’s how it should be. Your pleasure should always be his only focus, that’s just the nature of the relationship. 

Don’t just stop at oral though, and especially not at just eating pussy. Keep him chaste long enough, and any inhibitions he ever had about eating ass will disappear like they never existed in the first place. Of course, be healthy about it, but not shy!  Teach him how to best perform oral on both areas simultaneously, so that when you’re in the midst of cumming, your back door is being pleasured as well, sending you to new heights of orgasmic bliss. Then you can have him orally service you anywhere, any time you please, and be an expert at it. 

But don’t just stop there, teach him so much more, teach him, how to give you massages, feet, back, sensual, soft, with / without oil… Whatever it is you prefer. With tongue, without tongue. Hands only, or tongue only… You get to customize how  and what he learns. Teach him to pamper you. Teach him what lotions do, moisturizers, and creams. Teach him to shave you, paint your nails, give you a pedicure. Teach him that your femininity is his priority. And don’t let him ever avoid your period, show him everything about it, teach him how to use a tampon, show him the blood. Get him so comfortable with your period that he never shys away when you talk about it. So that, he can provide you emotional and physical support when you tell him you’re on it. Even to the point where, he knows your cycle as good as you do, and anticipates the little things before it even starts. Teach him everything about you, he’s your submissive, you are his priority, so don’t ever let him get away with slacking off, or avoiding one thing but not another. Teach him so much, that, he is your rock, your confidant, your safe haven, your support, your security, your trust, and your love. Then be all those things for him, because you value his submission to you, and cherish the gift that it is.

Want to discover the wonderful benefits of a female led relationship? Check out my Practical FLR book series here!

Owning a submissive, can be one of the most beautiful things a woman can ever own.  There is so much potential in owning a submissive male.  I say own, within the context of love being the foundation. It’s not a forced ownership, since he wants to be owned, but make no mistake, the true power really does lie in her capable hands. Once a submissive goes down the road of being owned, he feels like he belongs to her. She feels like he is her personal property.  This is a bond between them, that only deepens in time.

It really does get to a point where, a submissive male wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than under her complete control. He trusts and loves her so completely, that he surrenders to her in love. He knows any other way to be in life, pales in comparison compared to being totally devoted to her. He dares not disobey, even if disobedience is easy, or even if, he can get away with it without her noticing. A true submissive, will obey for the sake of obeying her. He will have no second thoughts about it, his ego is completely hers to mold. He has become loyal to her authority, and her as a person.

This is why it’s so incredibly important that she understands her power, and does not use it to abuse him. Because she can, easily, abuse him, and many submissive’s will take that abuse for a while, when they should be standing up and saying no. The fault always lies with the abuser, it is her responsibility, and a submissive, should know, that it’s always okay to stand up and say no, when he feels abused. She needs to respect that for the sake of a healthy relationship. She also needs to respect that for the sake of her loving submissive, and to always have an optimal level of willing submission from him at all times. The sheer level of submission that can come from his is on par with bliss.

Once in control, all trust issues disappear, she never has to worry about what he thinks of her, and most importantly, he is always desiring her. She never has to have body insecurity issues, because his tongue is eager to be used at all times of the day, any time she wants to use it.  Any where she wants to use. For as long as she wants to use it.   This eliminates any kind of guilt she has ever had about sex.  It helps her establish her own sexual desire, and to always please herself when she feels the urge.  It’s total freedom of female sexuality and expression. 

She gets to wear anything she wants, around the house, or out of the house, often, acting single, while keeping her submissive as her owned monogamous pet. She can choose monogamy too, the choice is hers. She understands that he gets no say in her sex life, ever, unless she gives him a say. But, she gets total say in his sex life. He may never even get an erection without her permission. He may never touch his penis ever again without her permission. Or he may be tied down any time the cage comes off, if it comes off. 

His ass is hers to smack, spank, or enjoy with a strap-on, anytime. He gets no say in that either. His body is her amusement park, and the sheer joy that she can have exploring his body, even with just her hands and nails, while he squirms can be a delight few women have ever known. She also gets to dress him however she wants to dress him.  Many women love feminizing a male because it turns him into one of her accessories, in the same way she once played with dolls. It’s incredibly fun to dress a submissive up and put her personal touch on him, and always have him wearing what she wants. He is hers to own, and he will look owned by her. He gets no say in that, except in vanilla situations that may call for a more masculine look. 

But the most interesting part about it, is that vanilla life becomes the play, it is no longer the serious formal identity it used to be, for either of you. You are dominant and submissive, that’s who you really are, and even in the vanilla world, there is that knowing of who owns who. Her ownership of him will always be the forefront of his world, and it will always be her expectation, that he is at her feet on demand, at any time.

The beauty of dominance is that expectation. The expectation that he will endure any and all kinds of sexual tease, that he will give up all sexual rights of his body, and be hers entirely. He accepts her as the authority and as the key to his sex life, and may remain without sexual release for weeks or months or years. His sacrifice is never ignored by her, but accepted with love, and enforced with her power and dominance. She will make sure that he always honors his submission to her by remaining strict. 

The beauty of dominance means she never has a worry, fear or doubt about him ever again. This will cause a huge surge in her own confidence as a woman, if she hasn’t discovered her dominance before. Once she has that confidence, she is geared to live the best life she can possibly live, with her submissive loyally at her side, supportive of her decisions, and always helping her succeed. In return, she is his structure in life, she is the missing piece of the puzzle he has always needed, the purpose he has always longed for. That’s the beauty of dominance.

Want to discover the wonderful benefits of a female led relationship? Check out my Practical FLR book series here!

*** Excerpt from Practical FLR: Destroying The Taboo ***

Anal. Why is that such a hard word to say? We laugh when we fart, and make fart jokes in every language, yet for many of us, Uranus is closer than our anus. How is it that we have a part on our body, that is loaded with pleasurable nerve endings, yet is almost completely inactive on the pleasure scale in the bedroom?  The first judgment is that it’s dirty. Except so is urine, or vaginal discharge, and (hopefully) most of us aren’t afraid to give oral. Obviously if engaging in this kind of play, use proper hygiene practices.

The exit only taboo is the biggest taboo against anal, with homosexuality being a close second. There is actually a significant amount of stress, that is stored in our ass. Mostly because it’s the one area that doesn’t get relaxed on a regular basis. The only way to truly relax that area, is to stimulate it with massage and/or penetration.  Assuming proper hygiene is practiced, and the colon is empty and clean, massaging the area before sticking something small inside can reduce any of the discomfort many complain about.  It’s this discomfort that initially scares many people away, even if they had the courage to try it.  The discomfort may also arise due to a lack of sexual charge.

However, it can be used non sexually, as a method of relaxation. This can be done alone, sometimes it’s uncomfortable due to the stress that has built up in that area over the years and requires relaxing into it for a little while before that stress begins to release. As that stress releases, waves of relief may wash over the body, as blood circulation improves. Getting blood flow into the lower pelvic area like this, can really promote good health, because stress is not healthy.  Most people don’t know there’s any stress in that area, because it’s always been there and see no need to stick anything up there. They’re stuck in the taboo, and refuse to see beyond it. Releasing stress in this manner can benefit almost everyone, unless they’re doing other relaxation methods like yoga or meditation.

Once the stress is released in that area, the body feels lighter, and when stress begins to build up down there, it’s noticed. It’s this noticing that can become a conscious way to relax that area without the need to stick anything up there if it’s really not preferred. Anal in this way, can simply be used as a tool to help build awareness of stress in the body, and conscious control over the muscles in that area. Once that’s done however, any stimulation of that area during sex, even if accidental, is going to feel very pleasurable, enhancing and making stronger, the orgasm when it comes. The bigger the object, when built up from starting small, the greater the stress release, and sexual pleasure! Which makes it beneficial for the D/s aspect as well.

Anal sex can play a huge role in any relationship.  It tends to be common stereo type that it can only occur in homosexual relationships, and for those that believe that, they’re truly missing out. For a submissive male, anal stimulation can truly enhance his submissive attitude and feelings drastically. One reason, is because it truly gives him the experience of being vulnerable enough to be penetrated and what it feels like for a woman to be “taken.”  Since his prostate is sharing a wall with this rectum, the pleasure he can get from this is beyond anything else he’s capable of. So now might be a good time to rethink the idea, because who doesn’t want mind blowing pleasure? No one! Now is a great time to destroy that taboo.

For a dominant woman, exploring her submissive’s ass is actually a very useful tool for her to enact her dominance. Many women don’t see the value in using a strap on until they try it.  They likely think, what does it do for me? The answer is, a few things! First, it makes you feel really good when you’re able to explore your penis envy for the first time, and really feel how powerful it can be to thrust into him.  Second, the bonus submissive effects will feed your powerful feelings. Just from wearing and taking him with the strap on alone, you just might give yourself an orgasm because it’s that hot!

Not to mention the other uses and toys she can use on him. The fun dynamics that can result from watching him wear a butt plug around the house, or to work for the day can really enhance the D/s. Not only that, but the expectation that his ass is hers to play with anytime, anywhere, creates a very real level of deep vulnerability. There’s so much fun that can be had when you’ve opened up just a little bit to anal play.

For submissive males that don’t have a partner, there are things such as an Aneros, that can be used to help them explore their prostate and stimulate it to wonderful non-ejaculatory orgasms.  This device can also be used by a dominant woman to milk the prostate instead of allowing him any kind of orgasmic release.  Which brings out a whole new level of D/s, because anal could include lots of pleasure, or milking without pleasure. Once a dominant learns how to milk her submissive, he’s going to forever have to work for her favor to gain any pleasure from her at all, especially if chastity is being used in conjunction.

Anal just represents a deeper level of D/s dynamic, and for that reason, it’s worth destroying the taboo of it. It’s worth learning how to be safe, and clean, and have fun exploring. There are few submissive males out there, that aren’t at least slightly curious as to what happens if their tongue slips a little bit lower to the back door.  Which can really make the difference of a female orgasm going from great to amazing, because of the so many nerve endings.

So destroy the taboo, slowly if you must, but it’s a whole lot of fun and wasn’t worth having a taboo in the first place.

Continue Reading? Please purchase the book!

Practical FLR: Destroying The Taboo

Janice was casually walking through the aisles of the grocery store picking out a few needed items. Between her breasts dangled her husbands chastity key, which she loved feeling bounce around as she moved. It served as a very strong reminder of her power. She loved that he was safely locked away when not in her presence. It gave her peace of mind, and made her horny knowing that he would be craving her the second she got home. She loved the attention of having a chaste husband.

“ I know what that’s for,”  called out a sexy voice from behind her. “ I noticed it when I walked by.”

Janice turned around to find a beautiful young woman talking to her. She was wearing a cute white blouse with a short black skirt, and she couldn’t help but notice that she had a similar key dangling between her breasts.

“ Omg, you too? I’ve never run into anyone else in this lifestyle in public before!” Janice said excitedly.

“ I know right? It’s nice to see another woman wearing a key! Way to represent! What’s your name?”

“ I’m Janice, and you?” Janice replied.

“ Francis, how long have you kept him locked? Hubby or bf?” Francis asked.

“ Married for 4 years, in a FLR for the last two, and loving every minute of it, I know I’m never going back. How about you?” Janice asked.

“ Married as well, but we started as a FLR. 7 years ago now. But I really only count it as 5.” Francis replied.

“ Really, why only 5? What about the first 2? Janice laughed.

“ Well, because I found out that my hubby had been cheating. You see, I really didn’t want to make him get pierced. Piercing is so tedious, and you have to wait for healing time, and built up to the right size, and then keeping clean is a chore. He didn’t want to be pierced either, so we had agreed that I would monitor cleanings… but that became exhausting…” Francis trailed off, collecting her thoughts.

“ Yes, I feel the same way about piercing, I like the idea, but it just seems like too much work, for now we operate on a trust system for him to clean and relock immediately after. It seems to work well.” Janice replied.

“ Yes, we tried the honor system too, I couldn’t always be there to clean him with his hand tied, and life just gets in the way you know? So I allowed him to have access to a key to clean with, when he gets off work. He was always locked up by the time I got home. But I found this wasn’t quite as ideal as it should have been. On certain nights, he wasn’t as attentive as I liked him to be. I also noticed, upon inspection, that he had some raw marks on his penis, sometimes. He claimed that it was chafing from the cage. But I had sneaking suspicion he was being naughty.” Francis said, shifting her stance, unimpressed.

“ Oh really, as in, playing instead of cleaning?” Janice asked. “What did you do?”

“ I asked him and he said no, he just cleans, and relocks. But I see how frustrated he gets, he’s desperate to stroke, and being alone in the shower, he can’t fight that urge every time successfully. I knew he had been playing. But all that changed when I figured out how to stop it. That’s when our real FLR began” Janice could see the excitement in her eyes. She could feel Francis’s confidence radiating from her.

“ Now I’m super curious. Because if I’m being truthful, I have the same suspicions about my hubby.” Janice was very intrigued now.

“ Yes! Men…. they can’t help it.” Francis laughed “ We dommes have to show them the way.  The solution is actually far more simple than you think and it gives me total control over him. I found out the best way to control him, is to make him govern himself.” Francis said confidently.

“ Govern himself, isn’t that what you tried to let him do already?” Janice asked.

“ Yes but, govern himself, with an element of my control forcing him to do it, even when not in my presence.” Francis replied.

“Go on,” Janice said.

“ I went online and looked up security cameras, and found that they make cameras that are water proof, and anti fog lens. They connect to wifi, and can be mounted anywhere. So I mounted one in the shower to watch him. But it did so much more than just watch it, it enabled me to create a set of rules that he must follow in order to clean. Oh and don’t worry, if the power goes out, or he tries to unplug it, it still records on battery power, with its own storage, but don’t tell him that, in case he ever tries to beat it.” Francis explained.

“ That is awesome! So now he can’t cheat?” Janice wanted to know more.

“ Nope not at all. Do you punish him for bad behavior?” Francis asked.

“ I don’t like to punish him, but when he introduced me to the lifestyle, I had read about whips and canes, and to use them if necessary. I really don’t like it, but I have used a whip on him when he came without permission in the early days. It’s few and far, but he doesn’t like it one bit, and neither do I.” Janice explained.

“ Get a cane. It hurts more.” Francis said seriously. “ Don’t be afraid to punish. It’s good that he fears it, you want him to fear it. You want him avoiding anything that might cause you to use it. When you punish him, have no mercy. Then he will know how serious you are.”

The use of a cane made Janice uncomfortable, as she wasn’t a violent person and didn’t like causing anyone pain, even her hubby. Francis could sense her hesitation.

“ Oh don’t worry, I’m not saying use it often, once is enough. But you must use it once. Use it for a tiny mistake on his part, then make him cry from it. Make him beg you to stop. Only once is needed. After that you can be sure he will obey you and yes, govern himself when cleaning. My hubby got his first caning when I watched the shower video while he kissed my feet while I watched. We actually made that into a ritual, where he would kiss my feet while I watched his cleaning time. I had told him never to close his hand around his penis while washing. That was forever forbidden. Open handed cleaning only. He was never allowed to turn away from the camera at any given time. His key was hanging on the shower wall, in camera view, and would be put back when he finished. The key never leaves the bathroom. The only key that gets used for play is this one.” Francis pointed at the key between her breasts. “ The first time I saw him wrap one finger around his penis was enough for me to punish him. It was an innocent wrap, but it was enough for me to make my point. I told him he needed to be punished for it. He didn’t like the idea but I was giving him no choice. I leaned him over the bed, and secured his hands to the frame, as I needed him to feel very vulnerable. I caned his ass red, and he was begging and crying, saying it was enough. He was a whimpering mess by the time I stopped and freed his hands. I cuddled with him and said, from now on, he will never close even one finger around his penis when cleaning. It’s now been 5 years since the last time I needed the cane.” Francis stood proudly grinning about her victory over her hubby while looking at an inspired Janice.

“ 5 years and no cane? He hasn’t disobeyed even once?” Janice couldn’t believe it.

“ Not once. He showers, cleans, and relocks. It saves so much time and energy, and I have peace of mind that he is doing as he is told. No piercing needed, and he keeps clean without it being a bother to me having to ties his hands to clean or any of that. He’s never out of the cage without supervision, the camera insures that. He does not want the cane. It also helped him be far more obedient at all times, since his frustration finally reached the levels it should always be at. Now his focus is entirely on my pleasure, as it should be.” Francis was radiant in her own power. “ Thank you so much for telling me about this!” Janice was truly grateful.

“ Dommes have to look out for each other.” Francis winked as she headed for the next aisle, “ see you around.”

Janice pulled her phone out of her pocket and ordered a water proof, anti fog security camera, and a cane, before she even left the grocery store.

Simple Ways for Women to Dip into Domination

Hold his hand. Take his hand as you cross the street. Lead him by the hand and walk in front of him.

Order for him. You don’t need to order him around. Try ordering for him at a restaurant before he lets the server know what he wants.

Dress him. Tell him what you want him to wear next time you go out together. Pick out clothes that look good on him and tell him so if he objects.

Kiss him first. Pick a moment when it won’t lead to anything else. Just a quick, impulsive kiss, or a fondle, caress, tickle…

Ask him to touch you and tell him how to do it right. Anything from rubbing your shoulders, warming your hands, or stroking your back. It’s up to you.

Accept thanks and compliments from him. Don’t be modest or turn away positive comments. Reward him with a smile instead and thank him too.

Spartan Women

Spartan women had a reputation for promiscuity and controlling their husbands. Their clothing was simple and notoriously short. They were famous in ancient Greece for having more freedom than women elsewhere in the Greek world. Unlike their Athenian counterparts, Spartan women could legally own and inherit property and they were usually better educated.

In Sparta, unmarried girls regularly participated in sports. The Spartan exercise regimen for girls was designed to make them “every bit as fit as their brothers”.

Early sources report that Spartan girls practiced running and wrestling; later texts also mention throwing the javelin and discus, boxing, and pankration. They also learned to ride on horseback. It is possible that Spartan girls exercised naked, because Archaic Spartan art portrays naked girls, unlike the art of other areas of Greece.