beexch

hold your breath... ...and dive in

he who loves me in the end, will see a light everlasting from my heart and an evergreen glow in my eyes. as i will cherish every single piece of his soul for me to keep and care for eternally.

Beautiful beyond most people’s understanding and comprehension, light that’ll burn right through or pass through you like any other light. The sun to the untrained eye but glistening like the moon to those fit to see.

if you think i’m angry and all i say is that im tired, know that i’m tired of it all, tired of everything that led us down this path and too tired to fight you about it. the truth is i’m exhausted and just wish to be held and nurtured until i get better but that’s something you just never happen to do. it’s something your both hyper aware of but simultaneously incompetent about. i don’t wanna blame you for everything but there’s days i’m even too tired to be empathetic and nuanced about you. seeing you burns like the sun, because i’m reminded of how much you’ve burnt me and come back the next day as if nothing happened, because i sadly carry all the pain you’ve been and have inflicted.

I wish you could love me without worship. I give you feelings you can’t explain, laughs you can’t contain and beauty everlasting. I understand you can’t help it, how can you humanize the allure of the eternal, I can’t ask you to look at the sun as more than just its light. I wish it wasn’t this way because I will leave you behind, every deity is alone, the pedestal can only hold one. I don’t want to break your heart, your faith, your trust… but I can’t stay where I’m adored, where I’m contemplated… For a lonely god envies, craves and desires the mundane connection of a mortal soul.

i don’t need fancy dinners, expensive gifts or huge gestures. i just wanna laugh with someone who thinks im hilarious, and cry with someone who will hold me so tight i forget for a second. i wanna be called beautiful not just for how i look but how i make you feel.