Bee

Attempt number six had happened after a gathering at his house, when everyone else had left and it was only you who lingered behind. “I was maybe thinking I could…”

You’d tilted your head, trying to hide your eagerness. “Yeah?”

“Take you back home?” The familiar feeling of doubt had creeped up on him, but you only laughed, masking your slight disappointment.

“Sure, Steve.” You agreed. Attempt number eleven died because you smiled at him, that was it. You smiled all beautifully and Steve forgot how to talk, let alone breathe.

By attempt number fourteen, Robin had started catching onto the signs. The way he’d unconsciously straighten his jacket, run a hand through his perfect hair, walk towards you like a determined man.

She would hold her breath from across the room. Then—“do you, do you want the last cookie?” She would smack her head, because Steve was truly an idiot.

Steve had convinced himself that today would be different, he’d rehearsed the question in the mirror that morning. “Would you want to go on a date?” Simple, eight words.

He repeated them until he could say it without his face turning red or his stomach turning into knots. He had to do this, because if he didn’t ask you soon enough, there was no telling who would ask instead.

The town square buzzed with people enjoying the summer festival. Food stands lined the sidewalks, kids running around enjoying the warm weather, and Dustin was close enough to hear how loudly he was complaining about the ring toss game.

But Steve had barely been paying attention, he was looking through the crowds for you. His eyes finally landed on you across the square, you were laughing, only not with him.

A guy around your age stood beside you, animatedly telling some story with his hands. You laughed loudly, nudging his shoulder playfully, and Steve felt something hot erupt in his chest.

The guy leaned a little closer, Steve’s jaw clenched. He knew he had no right to feel this way, you weren’t his girlfriend, you could talk to whoever you wanted. Though he hated how easily you talked to someone who wasn’t him.

Robin sighed, knocking into him. “If you’re just going to stand there glaring, you’re going to regret it.”

Steve swallowed, then before he could talk himself out of it, he started walking.

You looked up just as Steve stopped beside you, your entire face lighting up at his presence. “There you are!” You exclaimed.

The smile you gave him made his heart flip stupidly. He looked between you and the other guy, opening his mouth to speak. “Can I steal her for a second?” Though it wasn’t really a question.

You didn’t hesitate. “Of course.” You cut in, giving the guy an apologetic smile while Steve tried not to look too pleased as he led you a little further away, waving through the crowd until everyone else’s conversations drowned out.

“So…” you started.

“So,” he had your full attention, this was the moment, there was no going back now.

“What did you want to tell me?” You looked at him expectantly.

Steve’s mouth went dry, the words that were engraved into his mind vanishing. What if you didn’t feel the same way? “I was just…” he cleared his throat.

“I was just wondering if maybe you’d…” his pulse thundered in his ears.

“Ask her.”

“Just ask her.”

“I was just wondering if you wanted to get something to eat?” He rushed out, already feeling shame crawl up his neck.

Silence enveloped the space between you, not awkward, just a familiar sense of disappointment. You blinked once before forcing a small smile, of course he wasn’t going to ask you out, he would never feel the same. “Oh.”

“There’s a stand over there with—”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “Sure.” Steve knew he’d royally messed up, but he was already forming his next plan.

The bell over the station door nearly flew off its hinges. Robin looked up just in time to see Steve stumble inside, panting hardly, hair windswept, and wearing mismatched shoes.

“Morning to you too?” She raised a brow.

Steve bent over, hands braced on his knees while trying to catch his breath. “I—” he inhaled sharply. “Need a favor.”

His voice came out strained enough that she finally set the clipboard down, watching as Steve pointed to the microphone. “I need the morning slot.”

Robin blinked, he usually remained in the background, helping with switching out the tapes and sound effects. “The what?” She asked, confused.

“The morning radio. I need to go on air.” He was asking desperately now, it was the last plan he had in him.

Robin studied him for a second, his eyes were wide with hopefulness, but there was something different now. He looked like a man who had fallen too many times now and needed redemption.

Then it clicked, a slow grin spread across her face. “Oh.”

Steve knew that tone, groaning loudly. “Please, don’t.”

“This isn’t about the station.” She narrowed her eyes. “This is about her, you really want this don’t you, dingus?”

“You have no idea.” He shook his head.

She tilted her head, smirking, though already taking off her headphones to hand to him. “Take it away, loverboy.”

Steve looked between the headphones and stack of tapes. “What if she doesn’t know it’s for her?” He asked.

Robin's teasing expression softened, turning back to give him one last glance. “Then pick something special.”

The red light started blinked above the studio door, signaling that every word from this moment would be broadcast across Hawkins, straight to you.

Steve took a shaky breath, the microphone picking up on his nervous exhale. “Um…hi. I don’t usually do this, I’m the one behind the scenes, but, I figure if this is the only shot I have left to take, then I’ll go for it.”

You were driving in your car when you had turned up the radio to the wsqk’s morning broadcast. Only this time, Robin’s voice didn’t invade your ears, it was a boy who you couldn’t stop thinking about.

“This is dedicated to someone really special. Someone I apparently can’t talk to without forgetting how words work.” Steve was rambling now, but he could only hope you were listening closely. “Seriously, I’ve tried a lot.”

Your hands tightened on the steering wheel, why did it feel like Steve was speaking directly to you? He rubbed a hand over his face, and Robin silently motioned for him to keep going.

“You make everyday better by just existing. You have no idea how excited I get every chance I get to see you, or how many conversations I’ve ruined between us because I wanted to ask you out, but chickened out instead.”

You swallowed thickly, heart beating loudly in your chest. “I’m kind of a coward when it comes to you. Actually, scratch that, I’m completely gone for you.” Steve shook his head.

“So, if you’re listening. I hope you know that there’s someone who thinks you’re the best thing that ever happened to them.” He smiled to himself. “And if you still don’t know that this is about you, well, maybe this next song is my way of surrendering.”

Your breath caught as the opening notes of “I surrender” by Sucicide, started to drift through the speakers. It was the one you’d once admitted to Steve was your favorite, after he’d spent twenty minutes trying to guess it during a late-night drive. He only smiled, saying, “I’m gonna remember that.”

Your chest tightened so painfully it almost stole the air from your lungs, because he did remember. This wasn’t something you could misread, not after his heartfelt public confession, not after this song.

A laugh escaped you, watery and disbelieving as the tears blurred the roads ahead. He loved you, and he had been trying to tell you all along.

Before the first chorus had even finished, you flickered on your turn signal, swerving onto the next street, and heading straight for the radio station, knowing exactly where he’d be waiting.

Robin turned immediately towards the door the second you walked in, taking one look at your expression, and knowing Steve’s plan had worked.

Without saying a word, she pointed at the recording booth. You didn’t hesitate, Steve was leaning against the console lost in his world, though his eyes widened instantly at the sound of the door opening.

For a heartbeat, neither of you moved. Then you crossed the room in quick strides until you were standing directly in front of him. “I can’t believe you did that for me.”

His cheeks reddened, gaze dropping to the floor before returning back to you, a shy smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

“There isn’t,” his voice was barely above a whisper. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

Your heat melted, only shaking your head as a wide smile stretched across your face. “You absolute idiot.”

His face fell flat for the briefest second. “I love you too.”

Steve’s eyes searched yours as though he wasn’t sure he heard you properly. But you didn’t give him time to question it, reaching up, you pulled him into a kiss.

There was no hesitation, months of unspoken feelings dissolving between you. He smiled against your lips, one hand finding your jaw while the other settled at your waist.

When you finally pulled away, your foreheads rested together, giggling quietly at the absurdity of how long it had taken. Suddenly, Steve glanced back at the microphone he had forgotten to switch off and winced.

The one thing he was loudest about was how much he loved you.

Ever since you first started dating, you had caught on about how loud and passionate Travis was about the important things, but it still never failed to amaze you how he took any and every opportunity to remind you and anyone else just how much you meant to him. Walking down the street he’d make sure to always have his hand intertwined with yours, not letting go unless he needed to hold a door open for you or pull a chair out when you were out for dinner. He loved taking cheesy photos with you, posting them on his socials, even though he wasn’t exactly inundated with followers the ones he did have knew you were together. Even when you told him a new joke or fun fact, he made a point of telling everyone he worked with the next day. “My girlfriend told me that one, isn’t she the best?”

You loved how loud Travis was about how he cared about you, and he never seemed to mind that it wasn’t the same on your part. Of course you adored your boyfriend, he was the best thing to ever happen to you. But the way you showed up was different, you did it in the small and silent ways, You loved giving him sentimental gifts, yearned for the nights in when it was just the two of you and you talked for hours, made a habit of remembering the small details and celebrating them. Shouting from the rooftops wasn’t your style but you still made a habit of proving how much you loved him. It was never an issue, you and Travis were happy and secure in your relationship.

So it came as a surprise when something as simple as a throwaway comment shook you up so much.

You’d come into work to surprise Travis that evening, having been working the whole day, and you were stood at the front desk chatting to Naomi when he appeared from the elevator. The second he saw you, his whole face lit up and he came bounding over to you, wrapping his arms around you and kissing the top of your head.

“Hey, baby.” He grinned, pulling you impossibly closer and you giggled. “I missed you.”

“It’s only been a few hours.” You reminded him. He pulled away slightly so he could look at you, shaking his head.

“That’s way too long.” He told you. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

Naomi cleared her throat loudly. “OK, as much as you love you both, do I always have to watch this insane amount of public affection? Get a room.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault I have the best girlfriend ever.” Travis fired back. She rolled her eyes but she was smiling.

Griffin suddenly made an appearance, waltzing through the front doors like he was doing everyone a favour simply by being there. You had to stifle a groan when you saw him, and Travis put an arm around to pull you into him. Griffin was a creep who would take any opportunity to hit on you but with your boyfriend next to you, you knew you were safe. He took all of you in standing around the front desk and rolled his eyes.

“Hey assholes, don’t you have work to do.”

“Oh, settle down Griffin.” Naomi responded. “It’s the night shift at a storage unit, not exactly excitement central.”

“Yeah, relax. We’ve got it under control, man.” Travis chimed in.

“I’m not paying you to stand around and chitchat.” He fired back. “Get to work.”

“Technically you’re not paying me at all.” You pointed out, making Travis chuckle next to you. It wasn’t often that you verbally expressed your distaste towards Travis’ boss, not wanting to put his job in jeopardy at all, but sometimes you couldn’t hold back. Griffin gave you a look of disdain.

“Wow, look who finally figured out how to talk.” He chuckled to himself. “Didn’t think you knew how. Always wondered why Teacake keeps you around.” The last part was muttered under his breath, loud enough for only you to hear. The comment made you stiffen slightly as his words hit you like a tonne of bricks.

Because you wondered if he was right?

Travis remained blissfully unaware of your inner turmoil as he rolled his eyes and sighed loudly. He leaned in to whisper in your ear. “I swear, if he didn’t pay my wages.”

“I should probably head off and let you focus.” You told him, stomach still churning.

“Are you sure? I hate that I didn’t get to see you today, but I’m off tomorrow. We can hang out all day then.”

“That sounds nice, as long as you really want to?” You forced a smile onto your face. “We can go out somewhere if you like.”

Travis shrugged. “I’m happy hanging out at home, I know you’d prefer that.”

“Yeah, but-“ you were cut off by Naomi yelling something at Griffin, at which point Travis stepped in to help her out. You admitted defeat. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow, baby. Love you.” He called out to you as you walked away.

“Love you, too.” You wandered out, inner monologue completely spiralling.

***

Griffin’s words weighed heavy on your mind over the next few days. You hated that you were letting him have such an effect on you but you couldn’t help it. Of course people had mentioned before the contrast between yourself and Travis, how your boyfriend could easily talk for the both of you, but it was always light-hearted and breezy. No one had ever voiced the idea that Travis didn’t really want you. It couldn’t be true, could it? Travis adored you, he told you every day. Would he ever doubt your relationship? You loved him so much, surely he couldn’t ever doubt that. Could he?

Despite how much you insisted it wasn’t true, you could feel yourself pulling away from Travis over the next week. You didn’t want to but your brain was telling you it was easier to do it that way, cushion the blow. You stopped going in to see him at work, stopped texting him on your breaks to update him on any work drama, even made sure you were asleep when he got home in the mornings. That one hit the hardest, feeling him climb into bed next to you so gently so as not to wake you up, stroking your hair gently. You could practically feel how much he wished you were awake so he could talk to you about his night but he never woke you up.

Still, he could feel the space growing between the two of you. And he hated it. You were always there, when he reached out he could just trust that he would find you. So this new tension was really getting to him.

Day eleven was when he finally caved in. You were in the kitchen making some coffee and he wandered, looking a little bit lost. He took you in, still as gorgeous as the first day he met you, and the way you were keeping your back to him. The two of you had perfected your kitchen routine and it always consisted of chatting happily, cracking jokes, sometimes even dancing around together like children. Today there was this uneasy silence that he wasn’t used to. Something inside him cracked.

“Did I do something?” He asked, voice tinged with sadness. You immediately spun around and frowned, face wrinkled in that way that always made Travis’ heart skip a little.

“What are you talking about?”

He sighed, face crumpling and it broke you. That face was always so happy and joyful, you never got tired of it. You always said to yourself that Travis’ face was one you could spend your whole life knowing, though you’d never said it out loud. This was where all your problems were currently stemming from and you couldn’t let it eat you up anymore,

“Travis, can I talk to you for a minute?”

His face immediately registered panic. “Oh God, are you breaking up with me?” He crossed the kitchen in two strides, scrabbling to grab your hands and keep you close. “I swear whatever I did I can fix it, please don’t do this, baby.”

“No, no. Travis, I’m not breaking up with you.”

He exhaled loudly, relief flooding through him. “Jesus Christ, don’t do that to me again, please.”

“I’m sorry.” You couldn’t help but smile a little as he tried to regain his composure. “But I do want to talk to you about something.”

“Anything, honey. Tell me what’s going on?”

You tried to figure out how to open the conversation, unsure of how to navigate this unfamiliar ground. In the end you decided to just go for it. “Do you ever feel like I’m too quiet for you?”

Travis tilted his head, looking puzzled. “What do you mean?”

A sigh escaped your lips. “It’s just…Griffin said something the other day when I came in to see you.”

“What did that asshole say? I swear to God, I’m not above fighting my boss, I know I could take him.”

“You don’t need to do that.” You assured him. “It’s just, he said he didn’t understand why you kept me around because I was so quiet. And I guess I started to worry that he was right.”

Travis’ felt like his heart had shattered at your admission. “Baby, you don’t really believe that, do you?”

You shrugged, folding your arms into yourself. “I don’t know, sometimes I worry that you don’t know how much I love you because I don’t say it as much as you do. Because I swear, I do. I love you so much, Travis. Even when I’m quiet about.”

“Hey, hey. Breathe, honey.” He reached out and pulled you into him, rubbing circles into your back to calm you down. “Look at me a second.” He stepped back slightly so he could see you. “Just give me one minute.”

He walked out of the kitchen towards the bedroom, leaving you standing there. “Travis, where’d you go?”

“I’m coming.” You heard him shout through, the sounds of him rummaging under the bed also coming through. After a few minutes, he reappeared clutching a small cardboard box which he placed on the counter. “Here, look at this.”

“What is that?” You chuckled, walking over as he took off the lid. Inside the box was stuffed full with little trinkets and ornaments. Travis began gently taking each one out so you could see it.

“You see this?” He took one out. “This is receipt from the first coffee you bought me when I got sick. It was pouring rain but you insisted on running out and getting me my favourite because I was dying from a cold. And this?” He continued. “These are the movie tickets you waited two hours in line for because you knew how much I wanted to see this movie on opening night. And this? The leaf you bought home for me because it was starting to turn golden brown and you know how much I love autumn.”

He pushed the box towards you as you stared in disbelief. “Travis. You kept all this stuff?”

“Of course I did.” He said with a smile. “Because you gave them to me.”

“I can’t believe this.” You leafed through everything in the box, all the beautiful evidence of the relationship you’d built with Travis. “This is amazing.”

“So are you.” He affirmed. “Fuck what Griffin, or anyone else thinks. It never mattered to me that you aren’t as loud as I am, in fact I always thought we were like a fine wine and cheese. We balance each other out perfectly.”

You were full on beaming now. “I never thought about it like that before.”

“Well, I hope you never think that I don’t want you, because that couldn’t be further from the truth. I love you so much, baby.”

“I love you too, I promise.”

***

You didn’t even really decide to leave.

One second you were standing beside Steve, trying to smile at something Robin was saying, and the next you were pushing through the hallway, mumbling something about needing the bathroom.

You locked the door behind you and just stood there for a second.

Then the tears came.

Annoying, hot, stupid tears that made your throat ache. You pressed your hand over your mouth like that would somehow make it less real, like if nobody heard you, it wasn’t actually happening.

But of course, Steve noticed.

He always noticed.

You heard footsteps outside a few minutes later, slower than everyone else’s. Then a soft knock.

“Hey,” Steve said gently. “It’s me.”

You quickly wiped under your eyes, even though he couldn’t see you.

“I’m fine,” you said, your voice immediately proving that you weren’t.

There was a pause.

Steve didn’t say anything for a moment, and somehow that made you want to cry harder. You expected him to ask what happened. You expected him to tell you to open the door. You expected him to panic a little, because Steve Harrington was good at a lot of things, but being calm when people he loved were upset wasn’t always one of them.

Instead, you heard him slide down the wall.

The bathroom door shifted slightly as his back rested against the other side of it.

“Okay,” he said. “You’re fine.”

You blinked at the door.

“And I’m also fine,” he continued. “Even though I’m sitting on the floor of Tommy Hagan’s upstairs hallway, which I’m pretty sure has seen things no human should ever have to sit near.”

A weak breath left you, almost a laugh, but not quite.

Steve took that as a good sign.

“Seriously, this carpet is suspicious. Like, I don’t wanna be rude, but I think it’s sticky.”

You sniffled, pressing your sleeve to your nose. “That’s disgusting.”

“I know,” he said, sounding pleased with himself. “That’s why I’m telling you. I’m suffering out here.”

“You don’t have to sit there.”

“Yeah, I do.”

His voice was quieter then.

You stared down at your shoes.

“No, you don’t.”

“Yeah,” Steve said again, softer this time. “I kinda do.”

The party carried on downstairs. People laughed. Music changed. Someone yelled something from the kitchen that made a whole group cheer.

But outside the bathroom door, Steve stayed.

He didn’t ask you why you were crying. He didn’t try to fix it before he even knew what was wrong. He just sat there, close enough that you could hear him breathe when the hallway went quiet.

Then, after a minute, he spoke again.

“Do you think ducks know they’re ducks?”

You frowned through your tears. “What?”

“I’m just saying,” he said seriously. “Like, do they have a concept of it? Do they wake up and think, damn, another day of being a duck?”

You let out a shaky laugh before you could stop yourself.

Steve went completely still.

Then you could hear the smile in his voice. “There it is.”

“Shut up,” you mumbled, but it came out softer than you meant it to.

“Nope. Too late. I got a laugh. I’m basically a professional.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Yeah,” he said. “But you’re laughing, so.”

You leaned your forehead against the door, eyes closing.

For a while, neither of you said anything.

Then Steve spoke, gentler this time. “I’m not gonna make you talk about it.”

Your throat tightened.

“Just so you know,” he added. “You can. Obviously. I’ll listen. I mean, I might say the wrong thing because I do that sometimes, but I’ll try really hard not to.”

You smiled a little despite yourself.

“But you don’t have to explain it right now,” he said. “You can just sit in there and I’ll sit out here.”

Your hand rested on the lock.

“You’re missing the party,” you said quietly.

Steve scoffed. “Oh no. How will I survive without watching Kyle attempt to shotgun a beer and miss half his mouth?”

You laughed again, a little more properly that time.

“Exactly,” he said. “Tragic stuff.”

You wiped your cheeks, taking a slow breath.

“I just got overwhelmed,” you admitted, barely above a whisper.

Steve didn’t jump on the answer. He didn’t make it bigger than it was. He just let it sit there for a second.

“Okay,” he said gently. “That makes sense.”

That nearly undid you more than anything else.

You unlocked the door before you could overthink it.

Steve turned his head slightly when he heard the click, but he didn’t move until you opened it yourself.

He was sitting exactly how you imagined him, knees bent, hair a little messy, one arm resting over his leg. He looked up at you like he wasn’t shocked by your red eyes or tear-streaked face. Like you hadn’t ruined anything.

Like he was just happy you’d let him see you.

“Hi,” he said softly.

You gave him a tired look. “Hi.”

His eyes flickered over your face, careful but worried.

“Can I come in,” he asked, “or is this a one-person breakdown situation?”

A small laugh slipped out of you. “You can come in.”

Steve stood up, brushing off his jeans with a grimace. “God, I’m never recovering from that carpet.”

You stepped back to let him in, and he closed the door behind him, shutting out the noise a little more.

For a second, neither of you moved.

Then Steve opened his arms, not pulling you in, not assuming.

Just offering.

And that was somehow worse.

You crossed the tiny bathroom and let yourself fold into him.

His arms came around you carefully at first, then tighter when you tucked your face into his chest. He smelled like laundry detergent and beer he hadn’t really been drinking and whatever cologne he always pretended he didn’t care about.

“You’re okay,” he murmured, one hand rubbing slowly over your back. “I’ve got you.”

You breathed him in and felt your shoulders finally drop.

Downstairs, the party kept going without you.

For once, you didn’t care.

Steve pressed his cheek against the top of your head and said, “For the record, I still think the duck thing is a valid question.”

You groaned into his shirt.

He smiled. “There she is.”