ﾟ.+:｡bedrotwinterﾟ.+:｡

all of my poetry so you don't have to dig for ages...

○ - unrequited...

#1 - I'm stuck. [6/25]

#2 - What do u see when u look at me? [7/8]

#3 - It's sad to think about how cold u are. [7/9]

#4 - You're staring again. [8/2]

#5 - What fruit are you? (Fruit poem) [8/25]

#6 - I hate your piercing gaze. [9/4]

#7 - I'm filled with so many emotions. [10/1]

#8 - We stare and we stare more (final poem). [10/28]

......

#9 - "I'm really sorry but I'm not interested.." [2/16]

#10 - Are your glances the answer to my question? [8/11]

#11 - Always drawn back to you. [8/22]

______

○ - your eyes get brighter every night I see them...

All that my heart desires, even if it hurts [3/23]

A forgotten beach, a forgotten body [5/10]

Purpose from your pulse, I am all of you [5/15]

______

○ - little less stars, little more humanity... (idk)

silent violence [4/15]

______

○ - I..? You, what?...

I dont mean to hurt (I hate my dad). [9/18]

I don't know who I am anymore (me poem) [10/14]

I'm looking for a sign to keep me going, to stop my crying. [4/22]

I'm best served burnt-out, aren't I? [8/22]

______

○ - others...

Intimacy is more than just touch. [8/29]

Wolves. [7/28]

quiet, quieter. [7/20]

comfort for hands [12/11]

murdered by ignorance [1/25]

What kind of fruit am I? [1/25]

friendship is beyond words. [1/31]

okay, this is fine. [2/16]

acceptance in age! [4/8]

Being unsure is only half of the understanding I can voice that I feel.

Everything I want is at the tip of my fingers, but everything I usually do, I am unable to do normally anymore. But Why?

Is that why I keep getting headaches?

Maybe all of the swimming selfishness in my heart to keep someone with me for longer than they are able to stay is finally creating a mourning pressure in my brain.

The idea of Compassionate or Passionate Love will swim in my head but I like the thought of not being able to describe it even better.

Just a simple feeling you can only describe when you see one person and one person only, because not all good feelings need a title.

I'll miss you more than the air flowing between us and more then the smell of your that lingers with me in the air. I'd bury myself in a blanket of your scent just to sleep a little lighter on my mattress.

It's almost as is my life smells like you now. Even when I'm not trying to think about it, it's somewhere beside me or in the air passing me.

In the midst of the humidity we create, is my love real? Do you also feel the slow throbbing palpitations in your heart when I'm away?

Almost so soft to go unnoticed, but never as soft as the touches of yours that traced my skin. I yearn everyday for your warmth shadowing over me, for your hand on the stuck to mine and held together at our pulse points in our wrist.

It's childish how easily I grow shy over you.

God why are you so irritating? why is every little thought all about you?

I am full of so much agony that I want to tear myself open. Exposing my tangled insides selfishly, your heart is so gentle against mine I want to steal it from you.

I am frustrated. I am selfish. I am strange. But I am so in love with you.

Those words weigh like boulders in my heart, keeping me anchored to the seafloor and never able to come up for air.

Every part of me is yours but every part of me shivers like a leaf sitting beside you. I know what it is because only you make me feel it, even if I'm so unable to say it.

Although I'm never afraid to admit it to anyone...but maybe just you.

I was even still confused by the word 'purpose', but that word feels a bit easier for me to say knowing you're here.

When you're still close beside me, for as long as I have you, but really for as long as you'll have me.

__________

I did want this one to be a bit confusing to read on purpose, like you're feeling the thoughts and emotions with me as I explain 10 different things in one sentence then move to something else that I notice or feel.

Watching the waves crash, you are my source of warmth from the seas chilling depth.

I'll miss you so much more when you leave me to swim in the ocean, I'll be forced to sit with myself and count as many seashells as I can till your return.

Whether that'd be a day, a week, a month, or a year.

Somehow I know that my heart and soul is ready to wait on every grain of sand I sit on, listening to the slow crash of the waves or the soft commotion of seagulls as they fly past. I just hope I won't forget your face while you're gone for so long, even without it I know your warmth is still with me in my bed of sand. Laying on the soft sand you left me on and asleep until you come wake me for us to leave, I'm okay sleeping here, I can sleep just about anywhere.

Maybe you'll end up forgetting about me before you leave, my body covered in sand and seaweed, so much you can't see me anymore. And have no second thought to leave without thinking you forgot something.

__________

but maybe even that is too much. maybe holding my hand or sitting beside me is too much. maybe even looking at me is too much.

just to take care of your sick shriveling body would ease the growing worry in my heart.

what if you change your mind about your emotions ? what if your heart was in a separate place ? what if everything you told me was just to make me feel better..?

and you didn't mean a word you said to me, just so things would "feel normal". every throat clenching thought is making me more and more paranoid, more and more anxious, so much so that I forget what space you need when I'm in such a dire time for your presence. i know that you need time and I need to learn to give you space and I love you so I'm willing to wait. I love you, so I'll let you know that I'm here, even if you only ever look at what I say. I love you, so I'll understand, even if I feel like I don't. I love you, even if you change your mind. i love you, even if you leave me.

I love you. __________

Simply sitting in a car with only the feeling of the earth rumbling under you as its pushed miles away by the minute.

I don't believe in not moving freely, only letting your body sway with the notes in the wind.

Stay as high as the clouds will take you and as deep into the earth as the flowers you wave to.

We are all more than the objects that we make with so many shrap and stiff ends, our bodies go against such things making us unique from everything that always looks the same.

In the moment living is important to our minds, helping remind us where we are and how far that we've come. I love seeing the faces around me and light reflecting off of the whites of others eyes.

I'm an individual in my own way, as different as each blade of grass and as similar as its color spread out through the field.

I believe in community and the sweetness of humility as we connect and lean on one another when we need it. No matter how much we feel we are a little different, everyone is as pink and smooth on the inside as we are on the outside.

If you're listening right, can you hear the silent cheering of the earth when we come together?

It's sigh of relief when we shake hands and exhange meaningful glances, "I appreciate you" will never not make the trees sway a bit softer everytime it's spoken.

I thank those greatly that give a smile everytime I showed one back and I know they thank me too.

If no humanity and love there is no peace in the world, without any of it we might as well turn into these sharp objects that we make.

..........