I have a Leader Problem.

He gave us everything he could. His voice. His heart. A memory of three days of music. Tablo and Jonghwan didn’t come to perform with him for Woollim or LJY. They came for HIM. Because he deserves their friendship and admiration and love.

I told you. I told you all, it was coming.

No no you said, he still has time. But he didn’t.

Woollim has wasted nearly 3 years of Sunggyu’s life. Of Infinite’s life.

And he’s gone for 2 years and for most of the last one I have been hardly able to bear even talking about Infinite. Even looking at his picture hurts. I cry over it like a love struck dumb ass and I don’t care how stupid it is.

I love him so much. As if he were a living breathing person I saw every day and hugged every day and told him how wonderful he is. And what Woollim has done to him, I can never forgive. What they have done to me, as a fan,...I can never forgive. Don’t come to me with your Woollim excuses. If LJY was in front of me I’d spit in his face,even with Sunggyu trying to smooth things over for that disloyal rat.

And Sunggyu is *still* giving. He refused to ask the others to enlist with him because he wanted them to have a chance to shine. Some of them are in the middle of contracts they can’t go back on. No, he went by himself so as not to burden them. Don’t talk to me about a better leader. Don’t talk to me about a better man. He’s not perfect. But he fucking TRIES and he cares. He cares so much and I’m so afraid that the military will beat that out of him somehow.

A room full of 4000 people crying because of Sunggyu. And me. His last song was Sorry. “I want you to be by my side.” I’ll still be here when hell freezes over. I love you Kim Sunggyu. Please be safe. Please take care of yourself. Please know you are loved and special.

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm on your face

and the rains fall soft upon your head (your fields being kind of not applicable)

and until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of his hand. Amen.

and for my friends here, I wish the same for all of you, you’re precious and special. <3

I”m sorry I haven’t been here. It isn’t you it’s.. life and how I feel about Woollim.