Vertigo

I am still living a double life :(

"You shouldn’t be here. I should’ve never brought you to this place." Are you honestly saying that now? I thought: 1. It’s a little too late for that 2. I’d come anyway. I’ve already taken a toke off that crack pipe. I know it was only twice, but one hit was enough to send all the chemicals to my brain. "I shouldn’t have done this to you. I knew all the risks and still i put you to it. I’m sorry." Fuck those risks. This is amazing. I feel invincible. I feel like climbing walls or smashing things. I didn’t know that i was capable of feeling this "good" until now. I can not fully comprehend the enormity of these sensations. Euphoria is probably an understatement for what I am experiencing. It was like falling in love but ten times better. No a hundred. Maybe a thousand. I wish it would be like this forever. But no, this is only a one time high. I kept reassuring myself that this is the last time. Mind over matter, mind over matter, mind over matter. "Show up to class tomorrow, otherwise i’ll assume you’re dead." I nodded. I took out my pack of cigarettes. Tonight i am most convinced that my lungs are made of titanium as i lit my fifteenth stick. Before i know it, i was lost in the enormity once again.