Bebeffin for President 2028

HATE when u can feel ur intestines writhing. cease your wriggling insolent belly worm

I love gay people theres a guy in my neighborhood who named his one singular dog “simon and garfunkel”

cultures that do an afternoon nap are OBJECTIVELY CORRECT and the world should be learning from them

you've heard of the spanish siesta now get ready for places like Vietnam where it's commonplace to see workers pull out a mattress & take an afternoon nap on the office/store floor. very powerful way to roll. give kindergarten-style naptime BACK to the people ✊

shawty's like a malady in my head

We need to bring this shit back, like, yesterday. I miss it so much

THEY ARE

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

a party of adventurers that are all equally convinced that they are in completely different forms of media

the mage keeps giving smug glances in the direction they assume a camera is in. the fighter keeps getting indignant about missing attacks because of "bad dice rolls." the rogue is doubtful that a villain is gone for good because "nobody ever stays dead in comics." the paladin attributes fortune to "good rng." none of them have even considered that "tumblr post" was an option