hewwo it's Beau

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

I love Doris and she is so cute but also she looks so much like Teddy Roosevelt sometimes that I can't help but laugh

Behold: My deeply explicitly erotic zine full of very, very mature material

Link for extension :3c

So I just made a joke that "more women should poison their husbands" to my cool boss and then immediately found out that he got divorced because he was poisoned by his ex-wife

I'm apologizing profusely and he's like "oh it's fine it was funny" and then he offhandedly mentions that his next girlfriend tried to poison him also

Yeah this is going to break containment babe.