cat boy (very cool)

i am Thinkimg . about the Character. and listening to a Song. i a m sure this will not have repercussions

i don't know who needs to hear this, but guilt, self-hatred and shame are not sustainable sources of growth and healing. you can't hate yourself into feeling better, or being better. you can't repeatedly punish yourself for your flawed humanity and expect wholesome results.

I promise you things will get so much better when you start processing people’s behavior as information rather than a verdict on your self-worth. If someone doesn’t text back, suddenly pulls away, whatever it may be, the solution isn’t to put on a tap dance for them and try to regain their approval. It’s not to crash out on them and try to force them to react a certain way. It’s just to take a step back, take a deep breath, and assess what this tells you. What’s this saying about them? What’s this saying about you??

Like people’s actions are data points rather than death sentences. It could even be a data point about you. It could be that you’re not being a great friend, it could be that there’s something you guys miscommunication. Or it could be that they themselves don’t have the means to be consistent, aren’t in the headspace to meet you where you are, whatever. But this is always data rather than a judgment. Even if you’re the problem, behavior can change. Also, in the context of someone pulling back without explaining away, and assuming they didn’t give you a reasonable explanation in the first place, it’s also a data point that they’d react that way rather than communicate. Situations are always very context dependent, but they’re also always data.

don't ever look up what your childhood friends are up to now!!!!!!!!!! like girl you're a nuclear safety engineer. i put on matching socks today. we played tag a thousand years ago.

its a real shame we cant talk about gendered socialization as the violence that it is without some fuckass rocking up like "and thats why trans women arent women!"

like children gendered as girls are fed less and given less opportunities to play and make messes, and children gendered as boys are offered less help and given less emotional support, and this is hurting them! but no actually we need to stop trannies from using the womens washroom

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved