Life today, the rest Tomorrow

I’ve been feeling so….blah lately. I think I’m attractive and carry myself well but I feel so invisible in queer spaces. Which I guess is self contradictory?

How can you feel good about yourself and then also feel invisible? What would make me feel visible? I guess part of me is deeply insecure about having a more effeminate voice. That’s definitely part of it.

The other part is something I’ve struggled with and been criticized for forever- I’m too “intense”. I am hyper aware of my anxiety and over analysis and desire to talk deeply and passionately about things rather than just be funny and have jokes. What’s weird is that I feel like in real life, I am funny, and have jokes, and am quick witted. But still, I come off as deeply insecure and unsure of myself.