Kippen Siblings Headcanon
This headcanon works if TJ and Amber are twins and Marty is a year younger than them.
Because of course his name is Thelonius Jagger Kippen.
Of course TJ’s parents are the worst.
But if that’s TJ’s name, why is Amber’s name so normal?
And Marty isn’t the most basic name but it’s better than Thelonius.
So here are my thoughts…
Amber’s real name isn’t Amber.
Her parents absolutely loved the movie Labyrinth.
Mostly because of David Bowie.
Anyway, they named their daughter Ambrosias Bowie, after the movie of course.
(There’s a character named Ambrosias in the film and he was always her dad’s favorite.)
And when the grandparents were introduced to their grandchildren…
Whose names were Thelonius Jagger and Ambrosias Bowie…
They knew they had to do something.
Thelonius Jagger became TJ
And Ambrosias Bowie became Amber.
And all was right with the world.
And then the Kippen parents got pregnant again.
The Kippen grandparents lost their minds.
“You will not give this child another stupid name, I swear-“
So Marty got a relatively normal name.
Paul McCartney Kippen.
Sure, the middle name is a little heavy, but Paul is such a normal name.
When TJ and Amber first meet their brother TJ tried to pronounce McCartney, but he was pretty little.
It came out more as Martney,
And then Martney became Marty.
But only when they were little.
Once Marty started the third grade, his family lost the nickname and kept calling him Paul.
So imagine TJ Kippen’s surprise when at Cyrus’s house he finds out that Buffy Driscoll is texting a boy named Marty.
A boy he’s never heard of before.
He has however heard his brother Paul talk about this girl he’s been texting.
A girl TJ suspects he likes.
And soon all the pieces just sort of fall together.
And when TJ gets home that night he storms into Amber’s room.
“Oh my- you have to KNOCK, TJ. Seriously, I need my privac-“
“Amber, shut up. You won’t believe what I found out today.”
“Paul has been telling everyone that his name is… Marty.”
“Why the hell would he do that?”
“No clue. Cyrus called him ‘Marty from the Party.’”
And Amber takes a minute to tease TJ about Cyrus.
He shuts her up by bringing up Andi.
And soon enough the two of them are storming into Paul - or Marty’s room.
Paul looks up from the book he was reading.
“What’s up guys?”
Amber smiles, it looks just a little evil.
“Oh nothing.”
Paul nods, but Amber isn’t finished,
“Marty.”
“Oh…” Marty/Paul says.
Cause he knew they’d find out.
And he wasn’t exactly hiding it from them.
“So…” he says.
TJ walks more into the room.
“Why the hell are you going by Marty?” He questions.
“Like you’re the only one in this family with a normal name and you’ve decided you’d rather be Marty?”
Paul shrugs.
“I like it. And you all used to call me Marty. It wasn’t that much of a stretch.”
Amber nods.
TJ still looks confused.
“Yeah, but why?”
Pau- no Marty shrugged again.
“You both have interesting names. Paul is just… it’s so boring.”
TJ looks shocked.
Cause he never suspected his little brother might be jealous.
Of his name.
His terrible, embarrassing, awful name.
But Paul was a little…
Well maybe it was too normal.
TJ was just standing there, thinking and Amber elbowed him.
“I like Marty.” She said.
And she moved to sit next to Paul on his bed.
Marty smiled.
“So do I.”
TJ grinned.
He sat next to his siblings.
“So do I.”
