~ Ally ~

Hello !

First of all.. feel free to message me about anything you’d want me to post about!!

The content I make includes anything motivational, anything aiming towards physical and mental self care, and all sorts of advice.

My goal is to help as many people as I can be their best selves.

Forgive yourself

Forgive yourself for any mistakes you made, or anything you regret. You’re going to accept it, learn from it, and move on.

Feel your feelings

Look at everything that has ever happened to you and feel all of those emotions. You’re going to let yourself feel all of those feelings because if you push it down you’re going to be miserable and you’re never going to truly grow unless you accept and process things that have happened to you.

Journaling

White down everything that has happened, everything that you feel and that way you’re just getting it all out without having to actually go and tell somebody your business. This stays between you and yourself. This will also help you kickstart your healing journey.

Treat yourself

A lot of people think healing is just an aesthetic thing people do. Although healing isn’t ONLY about being aesthetic it is good to treat yourself to aesthetic things or just cute little things that make you happy. For example; buying yourself flowers, watching your favorite show, baking something for yourself, painting your nails, taking a shower, healing your inner child, and so much more. It can be small stuff like that. All of these things will make you feel good as you’re going through the process of healing. But like I said just to make it clear, healing is not an aesthetic it’s a process. There are good and ugly parts to it.

Know when to walk away

Especially with toxic friendships and relationships it’s good to know when to walk away. Staying in friendships and relationships that feel more like a job than a relationship stops you from growing. It’s hard at first but it’s super beneficial in the long run.

There’s no time limit to healing

The best part about healing is that there’s no rush, no deadline, and no time limit. YOU get to decide how long it takes for you to heal and to get over something. It’s not even about just getting over something it’s about looking at something that’s happened to you, learn from it, understand why it’s happened to you, being able to live with it, and how you can grow from it.

I am a child of Christ.

I am wonderfully made.

I am CHOSEN.

God will never leave me or abandon me.

I am made in God’s image.

God has great plans for my life.

God is protecting me in all situations.

God listens to me.

I trust God.

Don’t blow things out of proportion:

Avoid going over negative feelings in your mind over and over.

Be reasonable:

Accept that bad feelings are sometimes unavoidable, and try to find ways to feel better.

Relax:

Try pleasant activities like reading, writing, walking, and talking to a friend. Do something that relaxes you, but you also enjoy.

Forgive yourself:

Love yourself, and when you wrong yourself, it’s easier to forgive yourself.

Make amends:

Take action to correct whatever you’ve done wrong. Amends are not apologies, but rather ways to amend your behavior.

Understand what you can control:

Examine the source of the guilt and determine what aspects you can manage.

Identify your feelings:

Recognize and name your feelings, instead of denying or avoiding them.

Show compassion:

I am safe

I am enough

I am limitless

I trust I will have what I need

I am at peace with myself

I find freedom in vulnerability

I present my true self to the world

I am capable

I appreciate all I have and hold it loosely

I am confident

I am connected to myself

1) Get ample sleep.

Of course that’s easier said than done, but “sleep deprivation can actually cause mental lapses and increase stress and frustration, as well as contribute to physical health problems,” says Nalin. “So, despite our hectic schedules, we should maintain our regular sleep habits in order to feel refreshed and genuinely enjoy life.” In addition to a good book and a cup of tea, you may also want to consider adding a white noise machine, a sleep mask, super-soft sheets, and maybe even a weighted blanket to your sleep routine.

2) Write in a gratitude journal or any journal.

“Studies have indicated that practicing gratitude has numerous benefits, including optimizing our cardiac health, reducing anxiety and depression, and sharpening our brain function and giving us peace of mind,” says Jeff Nalin, a clinical psychologist in Malibu, California. Jot down a few things you’re grateful for in a journal, or on little slips of paper, then put them in a jar and set aside time to revisit them each month. If that sounds daunting, simply begin your day by thinking about someone or something you truly appreciate.

3) Buy healthy foods.

There's no greater form of self-love than buying healthy foods that will help your body operate at optimal function. You'll feel good and be so grateful you opted for a healthy snack over a greasy chip (but remember, everything in moderation!).

4) Say no.

“Most often, stress is caused by having too much to do and too little time to do it,” says Jacqueline Schaffer, a board-certified doctor in Los Angeles. “Reduce your workload, prioritize your to-do list, and manage your time more effectively. This requires you to say no more often, and that’s perfectly okay! There are plenty of ways to do so politely.

5) Meditate.

Research shows that regular meditation can potentially undo the damaging effects of stress—and calms the part of the brain responsible for the fight or flight response, says Aida Bielkus, PhD, life coach and cofounder of Health Yoga Life in Boston. Follow this self-care tip: “Set your phone timer for five minutes. Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths, and release any tension that your body is holding onto. If you begin to wander off into other thoughts, don’t judge yourself. Simply bring yourself back to the awareness of your breath,” she advises. (If you need more guidance, try one of these meditation apps.)

6) Take a break.

“All work all the time causes stress on the mind and body,” says Lisa Folden, a physical therapist in Charlotte, North Carolina. “If you’re fortunate enough to have employment with available vacation hours, take all of them. If you don’t have that option, do a weekend staycation or a mini road trip. If that’s out of your budget, simply spend Saturday doing absolutely nothing.” That means put your phone on airplane mode, binge Bridgerton, or catch up on your reading list. Whatever it is that brings you pleasure, enjoy it, and make no apologies for it.

7) Learn to anticipate problems before they arise.

"Moments that are intensely negative have a huge effect on how you experience your day, more so than positive moments," says Talya Miron-Shatz, PhD, visiting researcher at Cambridge University, and CEO of Buddy&Soul, a platform for personal development. "Start your day by scanning it ahead of time for potential bumps—are you allowing too little time for your commute, making it stressful? Are you leaving home without enough to eat, which guarantees the 6 p.m. headache? Avoid the hiccups, or at least some of them, and you'll be much better off."

8) Go outside.

1) Set boundaries.

For example learn to say, that doesn’t work for me. Drawing a line beyond which you simply can’t extend yourself is a powerful protective measure that lets you channel your energy, and keeps the draining influences of other people’s demands at a distance. Don’t feel bad for saying no. Your needs are just as important as the next persons.

2) Use mindfulness.

This is all about policing your thoughts and intentions. We are what we think we are, so when you constantly focus on how stressed or tired you are, how busy this awful day is, then stressed, tired and busy are all you’ll be. Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of what you’re thinking and how you’re talking to yourself, as well as how the attitudes of those around you affect you. When you achieve this awareness, tuning into positivity, and away from negativity (inside and out), becomes so much easier.

3) Be aware of your triggers.

Protect your energy from the wasting effects of both anxiety and stress by learning, and working with your triggers. If deadlines stress you out, learn to become a maven of organization. Social anxiety? Limit your encounters to ones you find actually enjoyable, rather than those you feel pressured to attend. Again, there is such power in saying no, no thank you, pass. If there’s something at work that triggers you, have a conversation with your boss or coworkers to ask and see if there’s a way to avoid that trigger. Focus on what you’ll be able to do after that trigger is removed to help persuade them.

4) Clean your physical and mental spaces.

De-cluttering your zones at home, at work and in your head is a powerful way to protect your energy. Maintaining a solid, grounded mental state is difficult when you're hemmed in on all sides by physical and emotional stuff. That kind of environment lends itself more to disorder, chaos and stress. Clear the dross. Get rid of things (and, yes, also people) that just aren't doing you any good. From old clothes you'll never wear again to anxiety-inducing social media you follow and especially to toxic people: donate, un-follow, un-friend. Difficult? Sometimes. But also totally worth it.

5) Trust your gut.

Dealing with a person or situation that feels unhealthy? Protect your energy by listening to your instincts. You'll learn who or what isn't good for you by how you feel after dealing with them. If they leave you feeling drained or just distracted and a little overwhelmed, there's a reason for that. Pay attention and limit your exposure to anything and anyone that causes you to feel off.

6) Have a solid social circle.

Go toward people, groups and activities that make you feel good. Just as someone draining you negatively affects your energy, so being around happy people that make you feel comfortable will have a positive effect. At work, this can mean seeking out coworkers whose vibes you really like and finding ways to spend more time together. Coordinate lunch or coffee breaks, after-work drinks or even a weekend hangout. Tuning in to folks who leave you feeling energized makes it that much easier to protect yourself from the influences of those who don't.

7) Build a “wall.”

When it comes to protecting yourself from negative energy, creating a barrier is a super useful practice. Much the same as thinking about your happy place, doing this taps into the power of visualization. Take a breath, close your eyes and surround yourself with a soft white positive light. Think of it as a protective bubble, a force field or some good old-fashioned light therapy. Whatever you call it, it's a solid way to block out negative vibes.

8) Stop giving away your energy.

I am beautiful on the inside and the outside.

I have the strength and courage to overcome any challenge.

I am worthy of accomplishing all my goals and living my dream life.

I have unlimited potential.

I am fearless and confident in myself and all my abilities.

Today I face my day with confidence and endless courage.

I am free of all self-doubt about myself and my work.

Everything I need is within me. I am in control of my life.

I am confident in myself to always make the right decisions.

I have come a long way and proud of everything that I have accomplished.

I am confident in my business and my mission.

I deserve to become the best version of myself.

I am in control of my thoughts, emotions, and choices.

I believe in myself and my worth.

1) Be proud of the small things.

Those with confidence believe in their goals and are dedicated to them. On your journey to achieving greater confidence, come up with a goal or several small goals. You can even use a journal to write down these goals and track your progress, it really helps.

2) Do not judge others.

Judging others tends to mean that they have something you are lacking. Rather than judging, acknowledge that everybody is a human being just like you. Everybody is different. Every person has a gift that makes them unique that they can offer the world. What you give into the world, you shall receive. For example, say you were commenting mean things about someone on their post. Those things you were saying about that person will project onto you. The same thing goes for if you were commenting nice things about someone on their post, those compliments will project onto you. Consider that the person you were going to judge might also lack confidence and a compliment from you may help them feel more confident.

3) Lean to say no.

Telling people no can be healthy, especially if it’s something that you do not want to be a part of. You do not have to help your bestfriend move if you already have plans with your children. You do not have to feel guilty about telling someone you cannot make it to an outing or a party because you want to rest on your day off. Learn to say no to things you do not want to do with confidence and avoid using phrases like “I will think about it” or “I will get back to you.”

4) Speak up.

Confident people are not afraid to speak up and make their opinions known. If they have something valuable to share, they do so with confidence. They are not afraid to be wrong and see input from others as an opportunity to learn. Be confident about your opinions and don’t take being wrong about something personal. Instead, use feedback as a way to improve.

5) Get to know yourself.

For example when people are going through trauma, pstd, anxiety, depression, etc; most of the time they don’t realize they have it. You need to get to know yourself and realize that your bad habits and bad thoughts are not normal. The sooner you realize that these negative things are not normal the sooner you will seek help, go to therapy, and heal. I’m not talking about getting these diagnosis’s cured, i’m talking about healing. Healing is a big part of confidence and overall just makes you feel better about yourself and your environment. Getting to know yourself isn’t just about mental illness though. Do you really think you can change your habits, love yourself, and heal yourself if you don’t even know who you are personally? I recommend shadow work. You can buy the shadow work journal but if you’re on a budget you can look up “shadow work questions” on google or Pinterest then write down all your answers to those questions. This will help you get to know yourself better.

6) Admit when you are wrong.

Stop thinking that you know everything and thinking that you don’t need to learn anything. The most confident people and the most intelligent people are willing to learn from their mistakes. A part of confidence is learning more about the world, yourself, the people around you, etc. No you don’t have to be the smartest person in the room or know everything about everything but you need to learn from mistakes and be willing to learn more about things you don’t know much about.

7) Positive affirmations.

Rewire your mind with positive affirmations. This really works. Positive affirmations will make you feel so much more confident and make you feel more attractive. When you feel confident and feel attractive other people will think you’re confident and attractive. What you believe in your mind is the most powerful thing. Our brains have been hardwired through evolution to focus on the negative before the positive. So by saying positive affirmations or even listening to positive affirmations it will be good for you, it will help you. It is not a bad thing and it is not something crazy. It will rewire your mind. Even if you do not believe the affirmations you are saying or hearing at first, by doing it everyday in the mirror you will start to believe it.

8) Be authentic and humble.