ARCHIVED

                                  he can’t find it in himself to sympathize, his wiring’s out of wack — trauma a rite of passage to an otherwise brutally mundane life, everything that needs to be known about bobby grover could be summed in the fact that he thought blackthorne was fun. but he’ll try, for river, slapping a palm upon his shoulder and giving it a brief squeeze. ‘   they’ll be alright.    ’ it’s not much, but it is the truth, however bland. they’ll get through it. ‘   hell, maybe one of em will sue. make it into a class-action lawsuit. cash out a couple million and retire to san bruno.    ’ though he thinks the student’s lives would be worse off if that actually happened. 

                           ‘   i sure hope not, i’ll fucking kill them — i’m twelve days away from getting my two years chip.   ’ he thinks it would have been funnier if he said he’s twenty-four hours away from getting his twenty-four hour chip, but he is actually sober which is the most adult thing about him. his palm tingles, actually reverberates as he shakes off the sting by his side. ‘   oh, but you’re definitely taking steroids, holy shit.    ’ he won’t gift her with an ow, even though, ow ! ‘   i’ve got an eye for it. sixth sense shit. ah, it’s been alright. robbing art galleries. for legal reasons i’m kidding.   ’ 

                            ‘   aw gross.    ’ he eyes the mud-trail he’s left behind. ‘   you know what ? ain’t my fault. was walking in the forest the other day, just after it had rained. there are no fucking pavements in the forest ! like come the fuck on, it’s 2021, it’s time to start urbanizing nature.    ’ sardonic, a bit clever even but told with so much conviction, he almost tricks himself into actually believing in the self-made cause. bobby doesn’t know the deets with lis and her mom, but he hates his mom for what he’s sure is less, so he’s sympathetic to bad vibes. ‘   do i have to dress up ? actually being choked out by this suit right now. can’t say i’m a fan of autoerotic asphyxiation. but yeah i’ll come. i’ve met people who’ve written me into their wills right after.    ’

                              an outrageously theatrical expression of mock offence is quick to consume his features. ‘   ‘course i know you. what’s there not to know. you have the personality of a plank of wood.    ’ meaning bobby still thinks that river’s relentless thoughtfulness and heart of gold morals will get him stepped on. without bobby, he’s gonna wind up dead, so bobby’s gonna stick around like a blood-sucking leech he can’t pluck off. he turns to the sea of people, admiring them like an audience in the crowd. ‘   look at these little runts. so much trauma that’s gonna stick with ‘em for the rest of their lives.   ’

                           his grin always looks wolfish but there’s no malice in sight, just teeming energy with no outlet save for the slight bounce in the soles of his feet. ‘   yeah, yeah, yeah.   ’ shoos away the slightest evidence of sentimentality to focus on the important things. ‘   how much you think they paid her to come ? fuck me if her heart was swayed by a fuckin’ powerpoint.   ’

                               he practically stomps up to lisanna, which leaves the dried mud that was formerly lodged in the crevices of his docs, trailing behind him across the ballroom floor. ‘   hey.   ’ the firmness in his voice wobbles, because even attempting to settle into anything akin to sternness is impossible. ‘   you promised me a date with your mom.    ’ actually it had been an open invitation that bobby had never followed up on, because there’s seven hundred things going on in his brain at one time, and visiting mama harlin hadn’t won the battle royale — until now. ‘   god she better not be dead.   ’

                              bobby’s going off what he remembers from the burn book, so forgive his insensitivity — but maybe it’s for the best, if he’d seen the footage, she wouldn’t hear the end of it. ‘   claire walsh. star pupil ! defeater of evil, upholder of justice. honorary driver’s ed representation. up top.    ’ plus caden, who’s actually a driver’s ed major he takes it as a win for driver’s ed nation. beaming with pride, a bit out of breath like he’s just ran a 10k marathon, don’t leave him hanging claire. 

                                  bobby’s got a spring in his step that if it weren’t for gravity he’d be heading straight to the moon, coming done would be a lost cause — walking with the confidence of a seasoned model in ten inch heels, his halt is perfectly timed to peck her cheek before she can shoo him off. ‘   what the fuck is up naoms ? raise your hand if you only came for beyonce.   ’ he raises his hand. 

                             ‘   what’s a nice guy like you doing in a murder-ridden place like this ?   ’ is his way of greeting, calling out as he strolls up to river, collecting snacks like coins in a mario kart run. ‘   bet you just came for the food. pig.   ’ clicks his tongue between his teeth in mock disgust, but it does a poor job of the hiding the fondness he holds for river. ‘   cupcake ?   ’ looks down at his palms to find two in each, as if he can’t recollect how that could have possibly have happened.   

the bobby g aesthetic ft. summer plans ! the standstill of his life post-gallagher is a bit nerve-wracking, eager to get back into the field whilst acknowledging that this might be the first time in a long, long, time that he’s been fully cognizant of everything going on around him. it makes his heart pound like he’s hitting balls at a batting cage, thud, thud, thud. so he tries his best to take advantage of the excess of free time, spends a lot of it with river. lot of domestic, self-improvement bullshit, like learning how to cook a proper meal, and going for hikes. turns out, surprisingly, to be quite nice, river’s decent company after all. boredom still tears at him, thinks it if were visible it’d be big, gashing claw marks, the way wolves do. so he gets back in the field, a summer cut short, before he can do anything too stupid. him and driving, that’s the great love of his life. in the off-times, the gaps of space that can’t be filled with a film or a job, he talks. to naomi, a lot. endless gabber but not all of it’s trivial, some of it’s actually quite sad. ‘   but that’s just life, eh ?   ’ he remembers saying to her on the phone, before he excuses himself because all of a sudden, he’s gotten a real hankering for mcdonalds, might even go for a big mac.                                                                                                                     ft. @ofsoftwords, @naomipkx

       ‘   you gotta take me to texas naoms. i’ll show you the midwest. ‘m from detroit. decent place, smells like shit.   ’ he’s been to the casinos in reno, doesn’t feel like losing the little savings he has, so he best steer clear of nevada. ‘   i’m down.   ’ he nods emphatically, ‘   as long as i get to drive.    ’ roadtrips are way better than vacations, has to be doing something, always, can’t imagine lying on a beach, that idea of relaxing like that makes him seize up. but a roadtrip, yeah he could do that. ‘   you got my number yeah ? stay in touch. i mean it, don’t be one of those assholes who says they will out of politeness.   ’

       ‘   if you were fully relieved i’d call you crazy.    ’ another inkling of support unearths itself, he’s pretty good at this, could be a motivational speaker or something. ‘   yep. they might even follow you along to the internship.   ’ it sounds like provocation but it’s just the truth. ‘   but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. don’t think of it as being on guard all the time, think of it as ... welcoming unpredictability. makes shit exciting yeah ?   ’ paranoia ain’t productive, paranoia blacklists half of hollywood during the red scare, he’s still mourning the movies that were lost ‘cos of mccarthyism ! ‘   just wouldn’t want you to not enjoy berlin. never had anything like that at blackthorne. you guys should consider yourselves lucky.   ’

          ‘   you a chef ?   ’ comes off a bit aggressive but he actually wants to know, finds it’s mildly fascinating to see what people get up to when they’re not being spies, as it’s often an all-consuming identity. ‘   but yeah sure, i’ll eat anything. not picky.   ’ devoid of a thanks, he always forgets his manners, only because they seem unimportant in the grand scheme of things. he knows neither of them are going to be sleeping anytime soon, but maybe the company can do ‘em some good. settle the heart rate a little bit. ‘   unless you’re too tired. don’t want your face falling onto the stove, though it would make a gnarly scar. wouldn’t fuck with you if you had stovetop rings brandished onto your cheek.   ’ 

       he clacks his tongue between his teeth, a don’t mention it kind of way, can’t get soppy on the last day, just makes everything worse. besides, this ain’t even a goodbye, for all the talk of spies being like blips in the night, one blink and you’ll miss ‘em, there’s a lot of overlap in this field. running into friends on the job just as easily as you’d run into foes. he’s not worried. ‘   ayy, sounds fun. where’s home for ya ?   ’ he asks, road trip’s sound like too much of a flight risk for him, can’t be trusted with too much freedom these days, which is all he’s gonna have after this. ‘   dunno. sort of wanna get straight back into it ? not good at vacations. never know what to do with myself.   ’ 

      ‘   why are you frowning at me, you’re the one who looks like pure shit.    ’ that’s his form of concern, taking another few paces forward to really see what he’s dealing with. yeah, that’s the look of pure shit right there. as though he was taking on the burden of every single person who’s ever stepped into this school. being a bit selfish would do river some good, but it’s not in his nature, kind is coded into everything, the way he speaks, moves. thinks it’s fucking crazy to go about life that way, but lately, he’s started thinking that sort of insanity is admirable. ‘   yeah, just haven’t slept. you ?   ’

      he’s being a bit of prick, what with the way he raises his brows in admonishment at the curse that flies past her lips. he doesn’t care, never has. driver’s ed is eighty percent driving and twenty percent road rage which results in a healthy dose of expletives at any given time. there’s nothing worse than a someone stuck in a daze, he’d rather the gut-wrenching theatrics sobs that bring someone to their knees. that’s a productive catharsis. fugue state’s are hard to get out of, a tempting rabbit hole. it’s not his responsibility to pull her out of it, and frankly doesn’t care enough about her to do so. but it doesn’t take a lot to push her towards an acknowledgement of it. ‘   what’cha sorry for ?   ’ he asks, deciding in the moment whether it’ll be a trick question or not. ‘   well you better get good yeah ? you ever watch the walking dead ? zombies are destined to lose.    ’ she’d get herself killed if she went into the field this way. ‘   wanna talk it out ? i’ll put up a good fight.    ’ conversation’s should feel like sparring, it’s a muscle people don’t like to practice but it’s worth it.