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a week since he destroyed you. your jaded eyes burned a hole in his brain, settling in a spot saved for core memories.
it haunted him every spare second. so much so he poured himself into life's craft at his mechanic shop. he couldn't bare to think about it because then his chest feels a little too tight, his stomach floods with butterflies and he starts getting lightheaded. it's an illness.
he should just shove everything down and flush it away.
that's the only way.
he has to forget you.
when he thinks of you laugh, the thought of forgetting you comes with it. the way you speak to him, the light in your eyes—he wants to kill you in his mind. he looked a little too hard at the metal rod in the corner of his shop. maybe he could amnesia from blunt force trauma? he's being too ridiculous.
it'll go away itself.
surely.
except he can't escape you.
not only from his mind, but everything in his life revolves around you. seeing glimpses of his brother at home, the starry sky, in the coffee he drinks, the dew slung on the grass in the early rays of the morning when he goes to work.
when he drives home tonight, there's a tension in his head, pulsing. almost puke-inducing.
what's wrong with him?
he's never been like this before.
sukuna's home early tonight. he's avoided seeing his brother's the last week, coming home super late and staying in his room. that was his life. his friends? no one's reached out to him. he doesn't intend to reach out either.
this sole problem (you) in his life in unsolvable, yet linked to everything in his life. how did he get here?
with a hard sigh, he opens the front door. choso and yuji are sitting on the couch. they don't acknowledge him as they usually would. he stares at the back of their heads. they're too engaged in the movie playing on the tv. but he knows they can see him in the reflection of the tv and the shadow that crosses his face.
fucking rude.
like he doesn't pay for that tv.
he huffs and heads to the kitchen. this headache is absorbing him. he can't remember the last time he drank water or even ate properly.
sukuna opens the medicine drawer and pops a painkiller into his mouth. he grabs a cup from the cabinet, heads to the sink to catch water. however, when he catches the piled dishes in the sink, fury twists in his gut. he crushes the painkiller in his mouth, its bitter taste filling his mouth.
he grabs a one of the dirty baking trays, used for choso's famous tiramisu and throws it onto the tiled floor. the plastic tray resounds, wobbling from the fall.
"you guys are fucking useless!"
the silence that overcomes the household speaks words could never. he can almost hear his parents roll in their graves.
sukuna turns around slowly.
yuji and choso are frozen in place, fear embedded in their eyes.
the tray falls flat. quiet. crumbs and cream scour the floor.
"i pay for everything in this house and this is the thanks i get? you can't do one damn thing right?"
yuji and choso exchange glances. slowly, subtly, but sukuna catches it.
"think you're one team now? the two of you," sukuna asks. "defending your friend from me, huh? who was there for you when your fucking parents died?"
he doesn't know what he's talking about. he's a void, spilling incoherent words that don't matter to the conversation.
"you've actually lost it," yuji sounds, his voice high-pitched.
choso places a hand on yuji's shoulder, "ignore him."
"nah, fuck that. talk to me, or leave this house. right now," sukuna states.
choso glares right in sukuna's face. that's right. the sensitive, soft-hearted brother of his glared in his fucking face, "you don't want me to start."
sukuna folds his arms on his chest and leans on the benchtop, "go on."
he's almost hysterical, adrenaline pulsing through his veins.
"you think all of this is going to make you feel better about y/n," choso answers. "acting out, throwing tantrums—you're grown enough to know better. this is not how you behave."
sukuna scoffs, "you're telling me how to behave in my own house?"
choso stands up, walks right into the kitchen. yuji follows suit.
"do you want to fight?" choso asks. "like, do you actually want to?"
sukuna laughs, "you're going to lose."
"not with your fists, idiot," yuji says.
"watch it," sukuna and choso both tell him.
"he's still your older brother," choso says to yuji.
yuji shrugs, sliding on top of the benchtop, dangling his legs over the edge, "he's not acting like it."
sukuna takes a prideful stride towards him but choso presses a hand to his chest, "stop."
"my point still stands," sukuna states, matter-of-factly. "you guys don't do shit in my house. why the fuck are you still—"
"this is not about chores," choso intervenes. "you've never cared about chores."
"you just want to put out tough guy shit to hide the fact you're hurting on the inside," yuji nods along, grabbing a container of tiramisu behind him. he starts eating it.
"i'm not," sukuna disagrees.
"why do you have to let go when it matters the most?" choso asks.
the question causes a pang in his chest.
"why do you wanna run away?" yuji asks. "she's not going to bite, you know? she's a very nice girl. not right in the head, but nice."
"you have it wrong—"
"so, if she was to actually date geto, you wouldn't get mad?"
choso's eyes are flaring, watching sukuna's facial expression. the thought alone dulls his heart. he can't imagine it, he feels too much for you.
"but she's not. she can't," sukuna refuses with a small smile he doesn't realise on his face. your face flashes in his mind. your bluntness, your zero fear to his crash outs—the concept of you being a mirror to him, showing his best and worst.
this must be his very worst. he's hit absolutely rock bottom, lost it all. you're gone now. there's no point.
"none of it matters," sukuna huffs. "she's gone."
"she's not fuckin' dead, kuna," yuji rebuts. "she's still alive, breathing and i guarantee, she's thinking about you."
"she said she's done," sukuna says.
"do you believe that?" yuji asks. "if what you had was real, do you think she could throw you away just like that?"
"shut the fuck up," sukuna spits. "you're just trying to get my hopes up. it's done."
choso sighs aggressively, "fine. if that's how you feel. let's go, yuji."
yuji hops off the counter.
choso and him begin to walk away. a heaviness sinks in his chest. why are they walking away? his mind is tangled in questions. what is choso trying to say? he feels like there's a message, but he's not getting it.
"that's it?" sukuna scoffs.
"you gave up," yuji says.
"you didn't even try to convince me."
choso places his hands on his hips, "if you can't see the blessing right in front of you, a chance at love after everything you've been through, there's nothing to convince you of. she can get a boyfriend tomorrow, she can leave you behind, but you—you're just going to dig a grave for yourself and die from eternal loneliness."
"and," yuji begins. "why the fuck would she wait for you? you act like someone who doesn't care. i hope she moves on from you, actually. do you know how many times she tortured us about you? we told her not to go for you because we knew it'll end up like this. she didn't listen to us, and, uh, well, look at this. what a mess! and, she'll move on, so it doesn't matter at the end of the day."
"i raised two assholes," sukuna mumbles, rubbing his temples.
the headache is gonna kill him. you, even more.
everything they're saying would happen, happened.
it's the situation plainly put.
you're going to leave him.
you're done with him.
they're not trying to convince him of anything, just placing the pieces in his mind, painting the picture of what reality is.
"you know what they say, yuji, a man who doesn't want to be helped, can't be helped," choso says.
"right!" yuji exclaims, licking his spoon clean. "you're the real useless, big bro! congratulations!"
"yeah, now she's going to leave you."
are they trying to get on his nerves?
"no, the fuck she's not," sukuna seethes.
"do you think she's as miserable as you?" choso asks. "she'll probably move on soon. just needs a little time."
you can't move on.
no way.
after everything, move on?
be done with him?
"it's crazy," yuji comments. "she jumped through hurdles trying to land you. when she finally got you, you let go. interesting..."
"i didn't let go," sukuna argues.
he can't.
"you did."
"no, i didn't."
"so did."
"no—"
"nah, i think you did—"
"i think about her all the fucking time! do you think i could let her go?" sukuna shouts, gripping the benchtop. "i see her everywhere. i don't come home because i don't wanna see you bastards. i get reminded of how you're friends! seeing her cry the other day did it. i never want her to cry again because of me. i want to take her out on dates and be all corny and shit with her. she drives me fucking insane! and i don't show it cos she's going to get scared of who i really am and—" sukuna looks around desperately, his mind unfolding in a way he can't catch, fuck."
his heart drops to his ass.
your face flahses before his eyes.
"honestly, i feel like she's seen you for who you are. you're not very good at hiding it—"
"move."
his feet move before his brain does.
he walks through the two of them.
"where are you going?"
sukuna yanks the front door open, "to go fucking beg like the pathetic piece of shit i am."
PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT
SUMMARY ★ he believes you don't matter to him. just one more annoying fangirl. showing up to his races, being obnoxiously chatty and your flirting—god, does it end? sukuna dreads you. however, he starts reciprocating, as a joke, of course! until it doesn't feel like a joke anymore and he wants nothing but you on his side.
PAIRING ★ streetracer!sukuna x fem!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS / GENRES / TAGS ★ smau w/ written chapters, smut, angst, sukuna is a lot older than reader, older brother to choso and yuji, he was in jail for getting caught racing LOL, nsfw/vulgar jokes like allll the time, inumaki talks (UNFORTUNATELY), sukuna playing w her feelings, he is toxic!
a week since he destroyed you. your jaded eyes burned a hole in his brain, settling in a spot saved for core memories.
it haunted him every spare second. so much so he poured himself into life's craft at his mechanic shop. he couldn't bare to think about it because then his chest feels a little too tight, his stomach floods with butterflies and he starts getting lightheaded. it's an illness.
he should just shove everything down and flush it away.
that's the only way.
he has to forget you.
when he thinks of you laugh, the thought of forgetting you comes with it. the way you speak to him, the light in your eyes—he wants to kill you in his mind. he looked a little too hard at the metal rod in the corner of his shop. maybe he could amnesia from blunt force trauma? he's being too ridiculous.
it'll go away itself.
surely.
except he can't escape you.
not only from his mind, but everything in his life revolves around you. seeing glimpses of his brother at home, the starry sky, in the coffee he drinks, the dew slung on the grass in the early rays of the morning when he goes to work.
when he drives home tonight, there's a tension in his head, pulsing. almost puke-inducing.
what's wrong with him?
he's never been like this before.
sukuna's home early tonight. he's avoided seeing his brother's the last week, coming home super late and staying in his room. that was his life. his friends? no one's reached out to him. he doesn't intend to reach out either.
this sole problem (you) in his life in unsolvable, yet linked to everything in his life. how did he get here?
with a hard sigh, he opens the front door. choso and yuji are sitting on the couch. they don't acknowledge him as they usually would. he stares at the back of their heads. they're too engaged in the movie playing on the tv. but he knows they can see him in the reflection of the tv and the shadow that crosses his face.
fucking rude.
like he doesn't pay for that tv.
he huffs and heads to the kitchen. this headache is absorbing him. he can't remember the last time he drank water or even ate properly.
sukuna opens the medicine drawer and pops a painkiller into his mouth. he grabs a cup from the cabinet, heads to the sink to catch water. however, when he catches the piled dishes in the sink, fury twists in his gut. he crushes the painkiller in his mouth, its bitter taste filling his mouth.
he grabs a one of the dirty baking trays, used for choso's famous tiramisu and throws it onto the tiled floor. the plastic tray resounds, wobbling from the fall.
"you guys are fucking useless!"
the silence that overcomes the household speaks words could never. he can almost hear his parents roll in their graves.
sukuna turns around slowly.
yuji and choso are frozen in place, fear embedded in their eyes.
the tray falls flat. quiet. crumbs and cream scour the floor.
"i pay for everything in this house and this is the thanks i get? you can't do one damn thing right?"
yuji and choso exchange glances. slowly, subtly, but sukuna catches it.
"think you're one team now? the two of you," sukuna asks. "defending your friend from me, huh? who was there for you when your fucking parents died?"
he doesn't know what he's talking about. he's a void, spilling incoherent words that don't matter to the conversation.
"you've actually lost it," yuji sounds, his voice high-pitched.
choso places a hand on yuji's shoulder, "ignore him."
"nah, fuck that. talk to me, or leave this house. right now," sukuna states.
choso glares right in sukuna's face. that's right. the sensitive, soft-hearted brother of his glared in his fucking face, "you don't want me to start."
sukuna folds his arms on his chest and leans on the benchtop, "go on."
he's almost hysterical, adrenaline pulsing through his veins.
"you think all of this is going to make you feel better about y/n," choso answers. "acting out, throwing tantrums—you're grown enough to know better. this is not how you behave."
sukuna scoffs, "you're telling me how to behave in my own house?"
choso stands up, walks right into the kitchen. yuji follows suit.
"do you want to fight?" choso asks. "like, do you actually want to?"
sukuna laughs, "you're going to lose."
"not with your fists, idiot," yuji says.
"watch it," sukuna and choso both tell him.
"he's still your older brother," choso says to yuji.
yuji shrugs, sliding on top of the benchtop, dangling his legs over the edge, "he's not acting like it."
sukuna takes a prideful stride towards him but choso presses a hand to his chest, "stop."
"my point still stands," sukuna states, matter-of-factly. "you guys don't do shit in my house. why the fuck are you still—"
"this is not about chores," choso intervenes. "you've never cared about chores."
"you just want to put out tough guy shit to hide the fact you're hurting on the inside," yuji nods along, grabbing a container of tiramisu behind him. he starts eating it.
"i'm not," sukuna disagrees.
"why do you have to let go when it matters the most?" choso asks.
the question causes a pang in his chest.
"why do you wanna run away?" yuji asks. "she's not going to bite, you know? she's a very nice girl. not right in the head, but nice."
"you have it wrong—"
"so, if she was to actually date geto, you wouldn't get mad?"
choso's eyes are flaring, watching sukuna's facial expression. the thought alone dulls his heart. he can't imagine it, he feels too much for you.
"but she's not. she can't," sukuna refuses with a small smile he doesn't realise on his face. your face flashes in his mind. your bluntness, your zero fear to his crash outs—the concept of you being a mirror to him, showing his best and worst.
this must be his very worst. he's hit absolutely rock bottom, lost it all. you're gone now. there's no point.
"none of it matters," sukuna huffs. "she's gone."
"she's not fuckin' dead, kuna," yuji rebuts. "she's still alive, breathing and i guarantee, she's thinking about you."
"she said she's done," sukuna says.
"do you believe that?" yuji asks. "if what you had was real, do you think she could throw you away just like that?"
"shut the fuck up," sukuna spits. "you're just trying to get my hopes up. it's done."
choso sighs aggressively, "fine. if that's how you feel. let's go, yuji."
yuji hops off the counter.
choso and him begin to walk away. a heaviness sinks in his chest. why are they walking away? his mind is tangled in questions. what is choso trying to say? he feels like there's a message, but he's not getting it.
"that's it?" sukuna scoffs.
"you gave up," yuji says.
"you didn't even try to convince me."
choso places his hands on his hips, "if you can't see the blessing right in front of you, a chance at love after everything you've been through, there's nothing to convince you of. she can get a boyfriend tomorrow, she can leave you behind, but you—you're just going to dig a grave for yourself and die from eternal loneliness."
"and," yuji begins. "why the fuck would she wait for you? you act like someone who doesn't care. i hope she moves on from you, actually. do you know how many times she tortured us about you? we told her not to go for you because we knew it'll end up like this. she didn't listen to us, and, uh, well, look at this. what a mess! and, she'll move on, so it doesn't matter at the end of the day."
"i raised two assholes," sukuna mumbles, rubbing his temples.
the headache is gonna kill him. you, even more.
everything they're saying would happen, happened.
it's the situation plainly put.
you're going to leave him.
you're done with him.
they're not trying to convince him of anything, just placing the pieces in his mind, painting the picture of what reality is.
"you know what they say, yuji, a man who doesn't want to be helped, can't be helped," choso says.
"right!" yuji exclaims, licking his spoon clean. "you're the real useless, big bro! congratulations!"
"yeah, now she's going to leave you."
are they trying to get on his nerves?
"no, the fuck she's not," sukuna seethes.
"do you think she's as miserable as you?" choso asks. "she'll probably move on soon. just needs a little time."
you can't move on.
no way.
after everything, move on?
be done with him?
"it's crazy," yuji comments. "she jumped through hurdles trying to land you. when she finally got you, you let go. interesting..."
"i didn't let go," sukuna argues.
he can't.
"you did."
"no, i didn't."
"so did."
"no—"
"nah, i think you did—"
"i think about her all the fucking time! do you think i could let her go?" sukuna shouts, gripping the benchtop. "i see her everywhere. i don't come home because i don't wanna see you bastards. i get reminded of how you're friends! seeing her cry the other day did it. i never want her to cry again because of me. i want to take her out on dates and be all corny and shit with her. she drives me fucking insane! and i don't show it cos she's going to get scared of who i really am and—" sukuna looks around desperately, his mind unfolding in a way he can't catch, fuck."
his heart drops to his ass.
your face flahses before his eyes.
"honestly, i feel like she's seen you for who you are. you're not very good at hiding it—"
"move."
his feet move before his brain does.
he walks through the two of them.
"where are you going?"
sukuna yanks the front door open, "to go fucking beg like the pathetic piece of shit i am."
PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT
SUMMARY ★ he believes you don't matter to him. just one more annoying fangirl. showing up to his races, being obnoxiously chatty and your flirting—god, does it end? sukuna dreads you. however, he starts reciprocating, as a joke, of course! until it doesn't feel like a joke anymore and he wants nothing but you on his side.
PAIRING ★ streetracer!sukuna x fem!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS / GENRES / TAGS ★ smau w/ written chapters, smut, angst, sukuna is a lot older than reader, older brother to choso and yuji, he was in jail for getting caught racing LOL, nsfw/vulgar jokes like allll the time, inumaki talks (UNFORTUNATELY), sukuna playing w her feelings, he is toxic!
a week since he destroyed you. your jaded eyes burned a hole in his brain, settling in a spot saved for core memories.
it haunted him every spare second. so much so he poured himself into life's craft at his mechanic shop. he couldn't bare to think about it because then his chest feels a little too tight, his stomach floods with butterflies and he starts getting lightheaded. it's an illness.
he should just shove everything down and flush it away.
that's the only way.
he has to forget you.
when he thinks of you laugh, the thought of forgetting you comes with it. the way you speak to him, the light in your eyes—he wants to kill you in his mind. he looked a little too hard at the metal rod in the corner of his shop. maybe he could amnesia from blunt force trauma? he's being too ridiculous.
it'll go away itself.
surely.
except he can't escape you.
not only from his mind, but everything in his life revolves around you. seeing glimpses of his brother at home, the starry sky, in the coffee he drinks, the dew slung on the grass in the early rays of the morning when he goes to work.
when he drives home tonight, there's a tension in his head, pulsing. almost puke-inducing.
what's wrong with him?
he's never been like this before.
sukuna's home early tonight. he's avoided seeing his brother's the last week, coming home super late and staying in his room. that was his life. his friends? no one's reached out to him. he doesn't intend to reach out either.
this sole problem (you) in his life in unsolvable, yet linked to everything in his life. how did he get here?
with a hard sigh, he opens the front door. choso and yuji are sitting on the couch. they don't acknowledge him as they usually would. he stares at the back of their heads. they're too engaged in the movie playing on the tv. but he knows they can see him in the reflection of the tv and the shadow that crosses his face.
fucking rude.
like he doesn't pay for that tv.
he huffs and heads to the kitchen. this headache is absorbing him. he can't remember the last time he drank water or even ate properly.
sukuna opens the medicine drawer and pops a painkiller into his mouth. he grabs a cup from the cabinet, heads to the sink to catch water. however, when he catches the piled dishes in the sink, fury twists in his gut. he crushes the painkiller in his mouth, its bitter taste filling his mouth.
he grabs a one of the dirty baking trays, used for choso's famous tiramisu and throws it onto the tiled floor. the plastic tray resounds, wobbling from the fall.
"you guys are fucking useless!"
the silence that overcomes the household speaks words could never. he can almost hear his parents roll in their graves.
sukuna turns around slowly.
yuji and choso are frozen in place, fear embedded in their eyes.
the tray falls flat. quiet. crumbs and cream scour the floor.
"i pay for everything in this house and this is the thanks i get? you can't do one damn thing right?"
yuji and choso exchange glances. slowly, subtly, but sukuna catches it.
"think you're one team now? the two of you," sukuna asks. "defending your friend from me, huh? who was there for you when your fucking parents died?"
he doesn't know what he's talking about. he's a void, spilling incoherent words that don't matter to the conversation.
"you've actually lost it," yuji sounds, his voice high-pitched.
choso places a hand on yuji's shoulder, "ignore him."
"nah, fuck that. talk to me, or leave this house. right now," sukuna states.
choso glares right in sukuna's face. that's right. the sensitive, soft-hearted brother of his glared in his fucking face, "you don't want me to start."
sukuna folds his arms on his chest and leans on the benchtop, "go on."
he's almost hysterical, adrenaline pulsing through his veins.
"you think all of this is going to make you feel better about y/n," choso answers. "acting out, throwing tantrums—you're grown enough to know better. this is not how you behave."
sukuna scoffs, "you're telling me how to behave in my own house?"
choso stands up, walks right into the kitchen. yuji follows suit.
"do you want to fight?" choso asks. "like, do you actually want to?"
sukuna laughs, "you're going to lose."
"not with your fists, idiot," yuji says.
"watch it," sukuna and choso both tell him.
"he's still your older brother," choso says to yuji.
yuji shrugs, sliding on top of the benchtop, dangling his legs over the edge, "he's not acting like it."
sukuna takes a prideful stride towards him but choso presses a hand to his chest, "stop."
"my point still stands," sukuna states, matter-of-factly. "you guys don't do shit in my house. why the fuck are you still—"
"this is not about chores," choso intervenes. "you've never cared about chores."
"you just want to put out tough guy shit to hide the fact you're hurting on the inside," yuji nods along, grabbing a container of tiramisu behind him. he starts eating it.
"i'm not," sukuna disagrees.
"why do you have to let go when it matters the most?" choso asks.
the question causes a pang in his chest.
"why do you wanna run away?" yuji asks. "she's not going to bite, you know? she's a very nice girl. not right in the head, but nice."
"you have it wrong—"
"so, if she was to actually date geto, you wouldn't get mad?"
choso's eyes are flaring, watching sukuna's facial expression. the thought alone dulls his heart. he can't imagine it, he feels too much for you.
"but she's not. she can't," sukuna refuses with a small smile he doesn't realise on his face. your face flashes in his mind. your bluntness, your zero fear to his crash outs—the concept of you being a mirror to him, showing his best and worst.
this must be his very worst. he's hit absolutely rock bottom, lost it all. you're gone now. there's no point.
"none of it matters," sukuna huffs. "she's gone."
"she's not fuckin' dead, kuna," yuji rebuts. "she's still alive, breathing and i guarantee, she's thinking about you."
"she said she's done," sukuna says.
"do you believe that?" yuji asks. "if what you had was real, do you think she could throw you away just like that?"
"shut the fuck up," sukuna spits. "you're just trying to get my hopes up. it's done."
choso sighs aggressively, "fine. if that's how you feel. let's go, yuji."
yuji hops off the counter.
choso and him begin to walk away. a heaviness sinks in his chest. why are they walking away? his mind is tangled in questions. what is choso trying to say? he feels like there's a message, but he's not getting it.
"that's it?" sukuna scoffs.
"you gave up," yuji says.
"you didn't even try to convince me."
choso places his hands on his hips, "if you can't see the blessing right in front of you, a chance at love after everything you've been through, there's nothing to convince you of. she can get a boyfriend tomorrow, she can leave you behind, but you—you're just going to dig a grave for yourself and die from eternal loneliness."
"and," yuji begins. "why the fuck would she wait for you? you act like someone who doesn't care. i hope she moves on from you, actually. do you know how many times she tortured us about you? we told her not to go for you because we knew it'll end up like this. she didn't listen to us, and, uh, well, look at this. what a mess! and, she'll move on, so it doesn't matter at the end of the day."
"i raised two assholes," sukuna mumbles, rubbing his temples.
the headache is gonna kill him. you, even more.
everything they're saying would happen, happened.
it's the situation plainly put.
you're going to leave him.
you're done with him.
they're not trying to convince him of anything, just placing the pieces in his mind, painting the picture of what reality is.
"you know what they say, yuji, a man who doesn't want to be helped, can't be helped," choso says.
"right!" yuji exclaims, licking his spoon clean. "you're the real useless, big bro! congratulations!"
"yeah, now she's going to leave you."
are they trying to get on his nerves?
"no, the fuck she's not," sukuna seethes.
"do you think she's as miserable as you?" choso asks. "she'll probably move on soon. just needs a little time."
you can't move on.
no way.
after everything, move on?
be done with him?
"it's crazy," yuji comments. "she jumped through hurdles trying to land you. when she finally got you, you let go. interesting..."
"i didn't let go," sukuna argues.
he can't.
"you did."
"no, i didn't."
"so did."
"no—"
"nah, i think you did—"
"i think about her all the fucking time! do you think i could let her go?" sukuna shouts, gripping the benchtop. "i see her everywhere. i don't come home because i don't wanna see you bastards. i get reminded of how you're friends! seeing her cry the other day did it. i never want her to cry again because of me. i want to take her out on dates and be all corny and shit with her. she drives me fucking insane! and i don't show it cos she's going to get scared of who i really am and—" sukuna looks around desperately, his mind unfolding in a way he can't catch, fuck."
his heart drops to his ass.
your face flahses before his eyes.
"honestly, i feel like she's seen you for who you are. you're not very good at hiding it—"
"move."
his feet move before his brain does.
he walks through the two of them.
"where are you going?"
sukuna yanks the front door open, "to go fucking beg like the pathetic piece of shit i am."
PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT
SUMMARY ★ he believes you don't matter to him. just one more annoying fangirl. showing up to his races, being obnoxiously chatty and your flirting—god, does it end? sukuna dreads you. however, he starts reciprocating, as a joke, of course! until it doesn't feel like a joke anymore and he wants nothing but you on his side.
PAIRING ★ streetracer!sukuna x fem!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS / GENRES / TAGS ★ smau w/ written chapters, smut, angst, sukuna is a lot older than reader, older brother to choso and yuji, he was in jail for getting caught racing LOL, nsfw/vulgar jokes like allll the time, inumaki talks (UNFORTUNATELY), sukuna playing w her feelings, he is toxic!
SUMMARY ★ he believes you don't matter to him. just one more annoying fangirl. showing up to his races, being obnoxiously chatty and your flirting—god, does it end? sukuna dreads you. however, he starts reciprocating, as a joke, of course! until it doesn't feel like a joke anymore and he wants nothing but you on his side.
PAIRING ★ streetracer!sukuna x fem!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS / GENRES / TAGS ★ smau w/ written chapters, smut, angst, sukuna is a lot older than reader, older brother to choso and yuji, he was in jail for getting caught racing LOL, nsfw/vulgar jokes like allll the time, inumaki talks (UNFORTUNATELY), sukuna playing w her feelings, he is toxic!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
SUMMARY ★ he believes you don't matter to him. just one more annoying fangirl. showing up to his races, being obnoxiously chatty and your flirting—god, does it end? sukuna dreads you. however, he starts reciprocating, as a joke, of course! until it doesn't feel like a joke anymore and he wants nothing but you on his side.
PAIRING ★ streetracer!sukuna x fem!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS / GENRES / TAGS ★ smau w/ written chapters, smut, angst, sukuna is a lot older than reader, older brother to choso and yuji, he was in jail for getting caught racing LOL, nsfw/vulgar jokes like allll the time, inumaki talks (UNFORTUNATELY), sukuna playing w her feelings, he is toxic!
SUMMARY ★ he believes you don't matter to him. just one more annoying fangirl. showing up to his races, being obnoxiously chatty and your flirting—god, does it end? sukuna dreads you. however, he starts reciprocating, as a joke, of course! until it doesn't feel like a joke anymore and he wants nothing but you on his side.
PAIRING ★ streetracer!sukuna x fem!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS / GENRES / TAGS ★ smau w/ written chapters, smut, angst, sukuna is a lot older than reader, older brother to choso and yuji, he was in jail for getting caught racing LOL, nsfw/vulgar jokes like allll the time, inumaki talks (UNFORTUNATELY), sukuna playing w her feelings, he is toxic!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
sukuna is fully aware he's a horrible man. it's one thing to be cursed by your late parents of such, but to spit on their graves and become it? it's an uncommon bravery, to put it lightly.
his parents would frown upon the man he's become today.
if they existed.
they were new parents, it was difficult. but it's not difficult to bully a child, abuse and neglect him with the idea of it building character for a strong man.
that wasn't the thick of it.
it was the curse.
the constant suggestion that he was a malevolent being, heartless, cold. cleansing him, praying on their knees for his past sins to dissipate and sending him to school the next day despite the late night beatings.
sukuna had endured it all from birth.
could such a child be born from such a devoted marriage? that's until it wasn't so devoted.
sukuna found the cracks before they did. the late nights his father would come home, the silent treatment his mother would give him and the arguing sukuna would listen to, pressing his ear against the door past his bedtime.
they had two more kids. surely having children would save their failing marriage.
the first time sukuna understood love was when choso was born. and, alongside it, its conditions and cruelty.
he was adored by his parents. he was a sensitive child, still sensitive, soft-hearted. however, the broken limbs in which sukuna's parents held him by were gone. he was left with the fragments of their bones while choso was coddled by new ones, better ones.
sukuna hated choso.
for changing his parents.
he remembers being six years old and secretly pinching his plump baby cheeks so hard that it drew tears. it sparked a tiny sense of pleasure in sukuna—that he was also able to cause harm to others.
choso bears the sukuna's fingernail scar to this day, having no idea that it was caused by him.
sukuna was nine years old when yuji was born. the household was teeming with delight. his mom was happy, his dad was proud, choso had a little brother and sukuna...well, he was stricken with a loneliness he never fully understood.
this must be it.
this must be how life is going to look for him.
that night changed his life.
not when his parents died from a car crash.
when he'd dropped out of school at fifteen and got into it really bad with his parents for it. his dad pushed him to the ground, grabbing his collar, his other hand raised to lend a strike on him. except when he was ready to land the momentum, he couldn't. his arm was stuck, lodged by his head.
sukuna looked beside his father slowly, breath hitching his throat when he found both yuji and choso holding his hand back, fear in their eyes. fear of their father. fear that he was going to hit their older brother. the older brother that hit them, mocked them and once locked them outside in their backyard naked and freezing to satiate his distorted sense of humour.
their father drove off, steaming with anger, mother following him.
that's when it started and ended, the year sukuna let his brothers into his dark, lonely life.
it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. they'd fight like normal siblings, sukuna would do something fucked up but then, this new feeling would emerge. this overstimulating sensation that he'd lose them for good, that they'd stop talking to him forever and he'd run as far away from them as possible to avoid the conflict from getting worse.
when he was sixteen, he'd made little yuji cry and his parents got involved. over something stupid.
sukuna was kicked out that night.
it was clear that his parents didn't want the likes of sukuna to be associated with his siblings. they didn't like how well they were getting along, the drives sukuna would take them out on, the lego they would build together and how they'd laugh at the stupidest things together.
his parents cursed him again.
that was sukuna's final straw.
he left. for good.
didn't reply to choso's messages and calls.
even when choso brought yuji to gojo's house (where he was staying), he made gojo lie about his whereabouts.
sukuna became lonely again.
he was surrounded by parties, girls and substance, attempting to evade the growing loneliness inside him. it only made the hole worse.
then, the news of his parents death when he was seventeen.
it's like the world had finally caved into him.
he cried once.
that was enough.
that was all they were worth anyways.
sukuna came back.
he worked like a dog for his brothers. he worked to put food on the table, pay for their schools and all he expected was for them to become someone who couldn't be brought down. he saw that the only thing that was able to provide that was education. a man could take anything from you, but he couldn't take what you learned, the knowledge you've studied. it's a value he'd underestimated growing up. with the regret of dropping out and having two young children depending on him, he did everything he could to make them someone. tutoring, extra classes, seminars—anything to get them there. even when yuji would slack or complain that he was tired, sukuna pushed him to no end, reminding him of the situation they were in.
now they were both in prestigious universities.
sukuna never said it. he'd never say it. but he was so fucking proud of them. he'd given them everything he could have in this life and they returned it in tenfold.
sukuna achieved everything in life except for one.
love.
he still has a complex relationship with it.
to let someone in, to let them see his scars and to see him for what he truly was? it was much easier to let them see him as a horrible man.
he is a horrible man.
sukuna couldn't keep a woman even if he wanted to.
he becomes the worst version of himself.
controlling, possessive, shitty.
when he met you, like, properly met you, spent time with you, this inexplicable paranoia swarmed him. that like all the other good things in his life, you would end too.
he never let you get too close, never let you see him.
when the two of you made love, it was like all the loose ends of his life tied together. he had never had love like that. divine and whole. he tied his soul with yours that night, promised himself to you. then, he became a coward in the face of love.
he had to run, had to ruin it for himself because why would he deserve you?
he's cursed, remember?
tonight, sukuna is racing against gojo and naoya.
he spots you in the crowd, clinging onto that fake boyfriend of yours.
of course you'd pull a stunt like this. bring your fake boyfriend to his race.
you think he doesn't know? your plan is just as flawed as him. there's no way you'd feel for geto the way you do with him. that pretend smile as you playfully hit geto, knowing sukuna's watching.
he scoffs, turning away.
this is ridiculous.
maybe he doesn't need you. if you're going to move on that easily, sukuna find someone else. he's built a name for himself, a reputation people fear.
he doesn't need you.
he repeats it to himself like a broken record.
in the race, when he loses so badly, people are frustrated, when he gets out of the car, when naoya comes up to him with his victor's pride. he says it one last time when naoya smiles cunningly as he glances over at you and geto.
"guess she realised you weren't the shit. that's what you get for hanging out with whores—"
sukuna punched him before he realised he's done it.
naoya's on the ground, a hand clutching his face as he peers up at sukuna with shock.
everyone goes quiet.
the quiet rage within sukuna explodes.
"say that shit again," sukuna spits.
"woah, woah, sukuna! let's calm down, okay?" gojo says, running over. he's about to lay a hand on sukuna's shoulder. it doesn't land. instead, gojo's butt lands on the ground, blood leaking from his nose.
naoya gets up, grabbing sukuna by the scruff of his neck. sukuna clutches him again.
"i'm gonna give them a reason to put you back in jail," naoya threatens, a slick smile on his face.
sukuna is seething. not at this blabbering idiot. no, none of this even matters.
how could you move on from him like that? were you not throwing yourself at him two minutes ago?
sukuna is pulled back.
he looks back to see geto holding him.
"get off me!" sukuna yells.
his brothers, utahime and shoko are running over to mitigate it. like that's going to stop him.
sukuna fights the grasp, he can't budge. geto hesitates for a second, giving sukuna the upper hand. he pushes geto back and punches him in the face too. he goes in for a second time, but geto's pulled to the side, turning it to an air punch.
sukuna furrows his brows, turning to see who did that.
you're standing there, holding geto's hand and standing in front of him. protecting him.
protecting him from sukuna.
the fear in everyone's eyes is incomparable to the stillness in yours. it's like you're telling him to try it. try punching you next.
"what the fuck is wrong with you?" you blurt out.
"y/n..." geto warns.
"shut up, geto!" you yell. "he needs to hear it."
sukuna runs a hand through his hair, "that's right, defend him."
he glares at geto who's looking away from the scene completely. he looks so out of place.
"don't even look at me defending you," sukuna tells you, his voice dangerously low. "from that asshole."
he points at naoya on the ground, lamenting about the damage done to his face.
you scoff, "don't stand there like some fucking hero after treating me like shit for weeks, okay? you wanna know why i'm not looking out for you? because you punish me when i care."
sukuna's taken aback.
in the fringes of his livid fury, a suffering breaks. a poison injected into his heart at the look on your face, the pain in your voice. the sorrow under the strong face you put on every day. the sorrow he caused. the feeling that it's really over for him now.
"you have to stop this," you state, tactlessly wiping the tears from your eyes. you're crying. you don't sound it. you still sound confident, voice full of vigour, but your eyes betray you. completely. "you make me feel stupid for wanting you."
he looks down at the cracked road, the hand drawn chalk.
he can't face you.
he can't see what he's done to you, how he's broken you to bits.
"i'm done, sukuna. i'm done acting like a fool, hoping that you'll come around."
you walk away first.
alone.
without geto.
without anyone.
your friends slowly follow, saying nothing to him.
utahime, geto and gojo follow.
and, one final word from shoko causes him to lean against the car for some sort of support, "seriously. you need to fix your shit, man."
PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT
SUMMARY ★ he believes you don't matter to him. just one more annoying fangirl. showing up to his races, being obnoxiously chatty and your flirting—god, does it end? sukuna dreads you. however, he starts reciprocating, as a joke, of course! until it doesn't feel like a joke anymore and he wants nothing but you on his side.
PAIRING ★ streetracer!sukuna x fem!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS / GENRES / TAGS ★ smau w/ written chapters, smut, angst, sukuna is a lot older than reader, older brother to choso and yuji, he was in jail for getting caught racing LOL, nsfw/vulgar jokes like allll the time, inumaki talks (UNFORTUNATELY), sukuna playing w her feelings, he is toxic!
sukuna is fully aware he's a horrible man. it's one thing to be cursed by your late parents of such, but to spit on their graves and become it? it's an uncommon bravery, to put it lightly.
his parents would frown upon the man he's become today.
if they existed.
they were new parents, it was difficult. but it's not difficult to bully a child, abuse and neglect him with the idea of it building character for a strong man.
that wasn't the thick of it.
it was the curse.
the constant suggestion that he was a malevolent being, heartless, cold. cleansing him, praying on their knees for his past sins to dissipate and sending him to school the next day despite the late night beatings.
sukuna had endured it all from birth.
could such a child be born from such a devoted marriage? that's until it wasn't so devoted.
sukuna found the cracks before they did. the late nights his father would come home, the silent treatment his mother would give him and the arguing sukuna would listen to, pressing his ear against the door past his bedtime.
they had two more kids. surely having children would save their failing marriage.
the first time sukuna understood love was when choso was born. and, alongside it, its conditions and cruelty.
he was adored by his parents. he was a sensitive child, still sensitive, soft-hearted. however, the broken limbs in which sukuna's parents held him by were gone. he was left with the fragments of their bones while choso was coddled by new ones, better ones.
sukuna hated choso.
for changing his parents.
he remembers being six years old and secretly pinching his plump baby cheeks so hard that it drew tears. it sparked a tiny sense of pleasure in sukuna—that he was also able to cause harm to others.
choso bears the sukuna's fingernail scar to this day, having no idea that it was caused by him.
sukuna was nine years old when yuji was born. the household was teeming with delight. his mom was happy, his dad was proud, choso had a little brother and sukuna...well, he was stricken with a loneliness he never fully understood.
this must be it.
this must be how life is going to look for him.
that night changed his life.
not when his parents died from a car crash.
when he'd dropped out of school at fifteen and got into it really bad with his parents for it. his dad pushed him to the ground, grabbing his collar, his other hand raised to lend a strike on him. except when he was ready to land the momentum, he couldn't. his arm was stuck, lodged by his head.
sukuna looked beside his father slowly, breath hitching his throat when he found both yuji and choso holding his hand back, fear in their eyes. fear of their father. fear that he was going to hit their older brother. the older brother that hit them, mocked them and once locked them outside in their backyard naked and freezing to satiate his distorted sense of humour.
their father drove off, steaming with anger, mother following him.
that's when it started and ended, the year sukuna let his brothers into his dark, lonely life.
it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. they'd fight like normal siblings, sukuna would do something fucked up but then, this new feeling would emerge. this overstimulating sensation that he'd lose them for good, that they'd stop talking to him forever and he'd run as far away from them as possible to avoid the conflict from getting worse.
when he was sixteen, he'd made little yuji cry and his parents got involved. over something stupid.
sukuna was kicked out that night.
it was clear that his parents didn't want the likes of sukuna to be associated with his siblings. they didn't like how well they were getting along, the drives sukuna would take them out on, the lego they would build together and how they'd laugh at the stupidest things together.
his parents cursed him again.
that was sukuna's final straw.
he left. for good.
didn't reply to choso's messages and calls.
even when choso brought yuji to gojo's house (where he was staying), he made gojo lie about his whereabouts.
sukuna became lonely again.
he was surrounded by parties, girls and substance, attempting to evade the growing loneliness inside him. it only made the hole worse.
then, the news of his parents death when he was seventeen.
it's like the world had finally caved into him.
he cried once.
that was enough.
that was all they were worth anyways.
sukuna came back.
he worked like a dog for his brothers. he worked to put food on the table, pay for their schools and all he expected was for them to become someone who couldn't be brought down. he saw that the only thing that was able to provide that was education. a man could take anything from you, but he couldn't take what you learned, the knowledge you've studied. it's a value he'd underestimated growing up. with the regret of dropping out and having two young children depending on him, he did everything he could to make them someone. tutoring, extra classes, seminars—anything to get them there. even when yuji would slack or complain that he was tired, sukuna pushed him to no end, reminding him of the situation they were in.
now they were both in prestigious universities.
sukuna never said it. he'd never say it. but he was so fucking proud of them. he'd given them everything he could have in this life and they returned it in tenfold.
sukuna achieved everything in life except for one.
love.
he still has a complex relationship with it.
to let someone in, to let them see his scars and to see him for what he truly was? it was much easier to let them see him as a horrible man.
he is a horrible man.
sukuna couldn't keep a woman even if he wanted to.
he becomes the worst version of himself.
controlling, possessive, shitty.
when he met you, like, properly met you, spent time with you, this inexplicable paranoia swarmed him. that like all the other good things in his life, you would end too.
he never let you get too close, never let you see him.
when the two of you made love, it was like all the loose ends of his life tied together. he had never had love like that. divine and whole. he tied his soul with yours that night, promised himself to you. then, he became a coward in the face of love.
he had to run, had to ruin it for himself because why would he deserve you?
he's cursed, remember?
tonight, sukuna is racing against gojo and naoya.
he spots you in the crowd, clinging onto that fake boyfriend of yours.
of course you'd pull a stunt like this. bring your fake boyfriend to his race.
you think he doesn't know? your plan is just as flawed as him. there's no way you'd feel for geto the way you do with him. that pretend smile as you playfully hit geto, knowing sukuna's watching.
he scoffs, turning away.
this is ridiculous.
maybe he doesn't need you. if you're going to move on that easily, sukuna find someone else. he's built a name for himself, a reputation people fear.
he doesn't need you.
he repeats it to himself like a broken record.
in the race, when he loses so badly, people are frustrated, when he gets out of the car, when naoya comes up to him with his victor's pride. he says it one last time when naoya smiles cunningly as he glances over at you and geto.
"guess she realised you weren't the shit. that's what you get for hanging out with whores—"
sukuna punched him before he realised he's done it.
naoya's on the ground, a hand clutching his face as he peers up at sukuna with shock.
everyone goes quiet.
the quiet rage within sukuna explodes.
"say that shit again," sukuna spits.
"woah, woah, sukuna! let's calm down, okay?" gojo says, running over. he's about to lay a hand on sukuna's shoulder. it doesn't land. instead, gojo's butt lands on the ground, blood leaking from his nose.
naoya gets up, grabbing sukuna by the scruff of his neck. sukuna clutches him again.
"i'm gonna give them a reason to put you back in jail," naoya threatens, a slick smile on his face.
sukuna is seething. not at this blabbering idiot. no, none of this even matters.
how could you move on from him like that? were you not throwing yourself at him two minutes ago?
sukuna is pulled back.
he looks back to see geto holding him.
"get off me!" sukuna yells.
his brothers, utahime and shoko are running over to mitigate it. like that's going to stop him.
sukuna fights the grasp, he can't budge. geto hesitates for a second, giving sukuna the upper hand. he pushes geto back and punches him in the face too. he goes in for a second time, but geto's pulled to the side, turning it to an air punch.
sukuna furrows his brows, turning to see who did that.
you're standing there, holding geto's hand and standing in front of him. protecting him.
protecting him from sukuna.
the fear in everyone's eyes is incomparable to the stillness in yours. it's like you're telling him to try it. try punching you next.
"what the fuck is wrong with you?" you blurt out.
"y/n..." geto warns.
"shut up, geto!" you yell. "he needs to hear it."
sukuna runs a hand through his hair, "that's right, defend him."
he glares at geto who's looking away from the scene completely. he looks so out of place.
"don't even look at me defending you," sukuna tells you, his voice dangerously low. "from that asshole."
he points at naoya on the ground, lamenting about the damage done to his face.
you scoff, "don't stand there like some fucking hero after treating me like shit for weeks, okay? you wanna know why i'm not looking out for you? because you punish me when i care."
sukuna's taken aback.
in the fringes of his livid fury, a suffering breaks. a poison injected into his heart at the look on your face, the pain in your voice. the sorrow under the strong face you put on every day. the sorrow he caused. the feeling that it's really over for him now.
"you have to stop this," you state, tactlessly wiping the tears from your eyes. you're crying. you don't sound it. you still sound confident, voice full of vigour, but your eyes betray you. completely. "you make me feel stupid for wanting you."
he looks down at the cracked road, the hand drawn chalk.
he can't face you.
he can't see what he's done to you, how he's broken you to bits.
"i'm done, sukuna. i'm done acting like a fool, hoping that you'll come around."
you walk away first.
alone.
without geto.
without anyone.
your friends slowly follow, saying nothing to him.
utahime, geto and gojo follow.
and, one final word from shoko causes him to lean against the car for some sort of support, "seriously. you need to fix your shit, man."
PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT
SUMMARY ★ he believes you don't matter to him. just one more annoying fangirl. showing up to his races, being obnoxiously chatty and your flirting—god, does it end? sukuna dreads you. however, he starts reciprocating, as a joke, of course! until it doesn't feel like a joke anymore and he wants nothing but you on his side.
PAIRING ★ streetracer!sukuna x fem!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS / GENRES / TAGS ★ smau w/ written chapters, smut, angst, sukuna is a lot older than reader, older brother to choso and yuji, he was in jail for getting caught racing LOL, nsfw/vulgar jokes like allll the time, inumaki talks (UNFORTUNATELY), sukuna playing w her feelings, he is toxic!
sukuna is fully aware he's a horrible man. it's one thing to be cursed by your late parents of such, but to spit on their graves and become it? it's an uncommon bravery, to put it lightly.
his parents would frown upon the man he's become today.
if they existed.
they were new parents, it was difficult. but it's not difficult to bully a child, abuse and neglect him with the idea of it building character for a strong man.
that wasn't the thick of it.
it was the curse.
the constant suggestion that he was a malevolent being, heartless, cold. cleansing him, praying on their knees for his past sins to dissipate and sending him to school the next day despite the late night beatings.
sukuna had endured it all from birth.
could such a child be born from such a devoted marriage? that's until it wasn't so devoted.
sukuna found the cracks before they did. the late nights his father would come home, the silent treatment his mother would give him and the arguing sukuna would listen to, pressing his ear against the door past his bedtime.
they had two more kids. surely having children would save their failing marriage.
the first time sukuna understood love was when choso was born. and, alongside it, its conditions and cruelty.
he was adored by his parents. he was a sensitive child, still sensitive, soft-hearted. however, the broken limbs in which sukuna's parents held him by were gone. he was left with the fragments of their bones while choso was coddled by new ones, better ones.
sukuna hated choso.
for changing his parents.
he remembers being six years old and secretly pinching his plump baby cheeks so hard that it drew tears. it sparked a tiny sense of pleasure in sukuna—that he was also able to cause harm to others.
choso bears the sukuna's fingernail scar to this day, having no idea that it was caused by him.
sukuna was nine years old when yuji was born. the household was teeming with delight. his mom was happy, his dad was proud, choso had a little brother and sukuna...well, he was stricken with a loneliness he never fully understood.
this must be it.
this must be how life is going to look for him.
that night changed his life.
not when his parents died from a car crash.
when he'd dropped out of school at fifteen and got into it really bad with his parents for it. his dad pushed him to the ground, grabbing his collar, his other hand raised to lend a strike on him. except when he was ready to land the momentum, he couldn't. his arm was stuck, lodged by his head.
sukuna looked beside his father slowly, breath hitching his throat when he found both yuji and choso holding his hand back, fear in their eyes. fear of their father. fear that he was going to hit their older brother. the older brother that hit them, mocked them and once locked them outside in their backyard naked and freezing to satiate his distorted sense of humour.
their father drove off, steaming with anger, mother following him.
that's when it started and ended, the year sukuna let his brothers into his dark, lonely life.
it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. they'd fight like normal siblings, sukuna would do something fucked up but then, this new feeling would emerge. this overstimulating sensation that he'd lose them for good, that they'd stop talking to him forever and he'd run as far away from them as possible to avoid the conflict from getting worse.
when he was sixteen, he'd made little yuji cry and his parents got involved. over something stupid.
sukuna was kicked out that night.
it was clear that his parents didn't want the likes of sukuna to be associated with his siblings. they didn't like how well they were getting along, the drives sukuna would take them out on, the lego they would build together and how they'd laugh at the stupidest things together.
his parents cursed him again.
that was sukuna's final straw.
he left. for good.
didn't reply to choso's messages and calls.
even when choso brought yuji to gojo's house (where he was staying), he made gojo lie about his whereabouts.
sukuna became lonely again.
he was surrounded by parties, girls and substance, attempting to evade the growing loneliness inside him. it only made the hole worse.
then, the news of his parents death when he was seventeen.
it's like the world had finally caved into him.
he cried once.
that was enough.
that was all they were worth anyways.
sukuna came back.
he worked like a dog for his brothers. he worked to put food on the table, pay for their schools and all he expected was for them to become someone who couldn't be brought down. he saw that the only thing that was able to provide that was education. a man could take anything from you, but he couldn't take what you learned, the knowledge you've studied. it's a value he'd underestimated growing up. with the regret of dropping out and having two young children depending on him, he did everything he could to make them someone. tutoring, extra classes, seminars—anything to get them there. even when yuji would slack or complain that he was tired, sukuna pushed him to no end, reminding him of the situation they were in.
now they were both in prestigious universities.
sukuna never said it. he'd never say it. but he was so fucking proud of them. he'd given them everything he could have in this life and they returned it in tenfold.
sukuna achieved everything in life except for one.
love.
he still has a complex relationship with it.
to let someone in, to let them see his scars and to see him for what he truly was? it was much easier to let them see him as a horrible man.
he is a horrible man.
sukuna couldn't keep a woman even if he wanted to.
he becomes the worst version of himself.
controlling, possessive, shitty.
when he met you, like, properly met you, spent time with you, this inexplicable paranoia swarmed him. that like all the other good things in his life, you would end too.
he never let you get too close, never let you see him.
when the two of you made love, it was like all the loose ends of his life tied together. he had never had love like that. divine and whole. he tied his soul with yours that night, promised himself to you. then, he became a coward in the face of love.
he had to run, had to ruin it for himself because why would he deserve you?
he's cursed, remember?
tonight, sukuna is racing against gojo and naoya.
he spots you in the crowd, clinging onto that fake boyfriend of yours.
of course you'd pull a stunt like this. bring your fake boyfriend to his race.
you think he doesn't know? your plan is just as flawed as him. there's no way you'd feel for geto the way you do with him. that pretend smile as you playfully hit geto, knowing sukuna's watching.
he scoffs, turning away.
this is ridiculous.
maybe he doesn't need you. if you're going to move on that easily, sukuna find someone else. he's built a name for himself, a reputation people fear.
he doesn't need you.
he repeats it to himself like a broken record.
in the race, when he loses so badly, people are frustrated, when he gets out of the car, when naoya comes up to him with his victor's pride. he says it one last time when naoya smiles cunningly as he glances over at you and geto.
"guess she realised you weren't the shit. that's what you get for hanging out with whores—"
sukuna punched him before he realised he's done it.
naoya's on the ground, a hand clutching his face as he peers up at sukuna with shock.
everyone goes quiet.
the quiet rage within sukuna explodes.
"say that shit again," sukuna spits.
"woah, woah, sukuna! let's calm down, okay?" gojo says, running over. he's about to lay a hand on sukuna's shoulder. it doesn't land. instead, gojo's butt lands on the ground, blood leaking from his nose.
naoya gets up, grabbing sukuna by the scruff of his neck. sukuna clutches him again.
"i'm gonna give them a reason to put you back in jail," naoya threatens, a slick smile on his face.
sukuna is seething. not at this blabbering idiot. no, none of this even matters.
how could you move on from him like that? were you not throwing yourself at him two minutes ago?
sukuna is pulled back.
he looks back to see geto holding him.
"get off me!" sukuna yells.
his brothers, utahime and shoko are running over to mitigate it. like that's going to stop him.
sukuna fights the grasp, he can't budge. geto hesitates for a second, giving sukuna the upper hand. he pushes geto back and punches him in the face too. he goes in for a second time, but geto's pulled to the side, turning it to an air punch.
sukuna furrows his brows, turning to see who did that.
you're standing there, holding geto's hand and standing in front of him. protecting him.
protecting him from sukuna.
the fear in everyone's eyes is incomparable to the stillness in yours. it's like you're telling him to try it. try punching you next.
"what the fuck is wrong with you?" you blurt out.
"y/n..." geto warns.
"shut up, geto!" you yell. "he needs to hear it."
sukuna runs a hand through his hair, "that's right, defend him."
he glares at geto who's looking away from the scene completely. he looks so out of place.
"don't even look at me defending you," sukuna tells you, his voice dangerously low. "from that asshole."
he points at naoya on the ground, lamenting about the damage done to his face.
you scoff, "don't stand there like some fucking hero after treating me like shit for weeks, okay? you wanna know why i'm not looking out for you? because you punish me when i care."
sukuna's taken aback.
in the fringes of his livid fury, a suffering breaks. a poison injected into his heart at the look on your face, the pain in your voice. the sorrow under the strong face you put on every day. the sorrow he caused. the feeling that it's really over for him now.
"you have to stop this," you state, tactlessly wiping the tears from your eyes. you're crying. you don't sound it. you still sound confident, voice full of vigour, but your eyes betray you. completely. "you make me feel stupid for wanting you."
he looks down at the cracked road, the hand drawn chalk.
he can't face you.
he can't see what he's done to you, how he's broken you to bits.
"i'm done, sukuna. i'm done acting like a fool, hoping that you'll come around."
you walk away first.
alone.
without geto.
without anyone.
your friends slowly follow, saying nothing to him.
utahime, geto and gojo follow.
and, one final word from shoko causes him to lean against the car for some sort of support, "seriously. you need to fix your shit, man."
PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT
SUMMARY ★ he believes you don't matter to him. just one more annoying fangirl. showing up to his races, being obnoxiously chatty and your flirting—god, does it end? sukuna dreads you. however, he starts reciprocating, as a joke, of course! until it doesn't feel like a joke anymore and he wants nothing but you on his side.
PAIRING ★ streetracer!sukuna x fem!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS / GENRES / TAGS ★ smau w/ written chapters, smut, angst, sukuna is a lot older than reader, older brother to choso and yuji, he was in jail for getting caught racing LOL, nsfw/vulgar jokes like allll the time, inumaki talks (UNFORTUNATELY), sukuna playing w her feelings, he is toxic!
SUMMARY ★ he believes you don't matter to him. just one more annoying fangirl. showing up to his races, being obnoxiously chatty and your flirting—god, does it end? sukuna dreads you. however, he starts reciprocating, as a joke, of course! until it doesn't feel like a joke anymore and he wants nothing but you on his side.
PAIRING ★ streetracer!sukuna x fem!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS / GENRES / TAGS ★ smau w/ written chapters, smut, angst, sukuna is a lot older than reader, older brother to choso and yuji, he was in jail for getting caught racing LOL, nsfw/vulgar jokes like allll the time, inumaki talks (UNFORTUNATELY), sukuna playing w her feelings, he is toxic!
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SUMMARY ★ he believes you don't matter to him. just one more annoying fangirl. showing up to his races, being obnoxiously chatty and your flirting—god, does it end? sukuna dreads you. however, he starts reciprocating, as a joke, of course! until it doesn't feel like a joke anymore and he wants nothing but you on his side.
PAIRING ★ streetracer!sukuna x fem!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS / GENRES / TAGS ★ smau w/ written chapters, smut, angst, sukuna is a lot older than reader, older brother to choso and yuji, he was in jail for getting caught racing LOL, nsfw/vulgar jokes like allll the time, inumaki talks (UNFORTUNATELY), sukuna playing w her feelings, he is toxic!
SUMMARY ★ he believes you don't matter to him. just one more annoying fangirl. showing up to his races, being obnoxiously chatty and your flirting—god, does it end? sukuna dreads you. however, he starts reciprocating, as a joke, of course! until it doesn't feel like a joke anymore and he wants nothing but you on his side.
PAIRING ★ streetracer!sukuna x fem!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS / GENRES / TAGS ★ smau w/ written chapters, smut, angst, sukuna is a lot older than reader, older brother to choso and yuji, he was in jail for getting caught racing LOL, nsfw/vulgar jokes like allll the time, inumaki talks (UNFORTUNATELY), sukuna playing w her feelings, he is toxic!
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