love me, hate me

BE MY BBM BABY .ᐟ ୨ৎ

middle of the night , waking up to write ≫ MASTERLIST ୨ৎ " i dont wanna fight, ⤵ about me ʚɞ you're the one i like " ⌗ rules .ᐟ ˚₊‧꒰ა 🤍 ໒꒱ always on my mind, when will you be mine? discord server

chapter might take a little longer to come out tho because it’s fully written so here a little crumb i still have to review Σ(￣。￣ﾉ)ﾉ

◟♯ . / I'D TRADE IT ALL FOR YOU, BUT WHAT DO I CARE FOR ! 🪷

in which: you had been watching him from the corner of every room for months, he didn't even know you name. you didn't plan on falling for your friend's roommate. especially not one as unreadable as suguru geto, tattoo artist, chronic underthinker.

⌗ᆞ› masterlist › next › › prev

wow we're introducing lucas choso and yuki whos excited

shit is gonna go up between y/n and geto in the next chapter eheheheheheh

off topic but does anyone know how to lose face fat fast im literally abt to kms

TAGLIST OPEN (LIKE OR REBLOG TO BE ADDED)

@valentoshi @theoverthinkingatlas @herdemisee @candy-s72 @nahoye @bygeto @sseerrenedipity12 @not-tina @tiredasl @kurtcobaingirlie @hopefulpeachcolor @angelscreatedme @butterbiscuit444 @sourjunk @colortheoryrocks @fackeraccount @marsavie @love-d-luxe @universal-s1ut @zfaxo @iamtherealestet @zzenkha @yujisdreamgirl @nooshie11037 @w0undf0ck3r @yttiirl @chosoissohotugh @coolcalmandc0llected @kcupid @aelithra @in-aa @heeknow @ilovedaddysakuna @twilightnruin @tiredasl @hannahzg8 @gojosnutgobbler @ctrlkenma

with that being said, I fucking hate suguru omg reader deserves better (like shoko<3)

can we date shoko instead plz 🫩

◟♯ . / I'D TRADE IT ALL FOR YOU, BUT WHAT DO I CARE FOR ! 🪷

in which: you had been watching him from the corner of every room for months, he didn't even know you name. you didn't plan on falling for your friend's roommate. especially not one as unreadable as suguru geto, tattoo artist, chronic underthinker.

⌗ᆞ› masterlist › next › › prev

shoko was already leaning against the door frame with arms crossed when you and utahime arrived, after a loong, loong talk about self esteem and how you absolutely needed to flirt with him tonight. shoko waiting at the front door usually meant she had been waiting for you, and she was definitely happy to see you, even if she was too nonchalant to admit it.

she looked at the both of you before complimenting you specifically.

“heeeyy, you look nice, pretty” she gave you a soft smile and pressed a small kiss on your cheek as a way to greet you before stepping aside and letting you in.

“she gets a compliment AND a kiss and i don’t get shit?!?!?!” you could hear utahime complain behind you as you stepped in, which you just decided to ignore.

inside, the air smelled like garlic and whatever gojo was experimenting with at the stove, making you question who the hell let him inside of that kitchen. but, apart from that, nothing had changed inside of the apartment since the last time, nanami sat on his old-man-armchair reading and suguru sat on the couch with his sketchbook open, his attention fixed downward until he heard you and utahime step in, his gaze landed on you and he held it for wayyy to long before speaking.

“hey, sit down” he greeted you with a soft nod, a strand of hair falling in front of his face.

you immediately followed his words, sitting on the other side of the coffee table and immediately regretting not thinking about sitting next to him. utahime dropped beside you immediately and leaned in close to whisper some straight bullshit in your ear, insisting he had been staring and how you should’ve sat next to him. you sighed and pushed her away, you wanted to tell her how much she felt like a little devil on your shoulder but you got interrupted by someone knocking on the door.

utahime was closest, so she got the door, and you watched how her entire body went still once she was who was there. you would’ve thought she saw a ghost if carmen’s high pitched voice didn’t follow immediately and interrupt your trail of thoughts. warm, bright and completely unbothered, she stepped inside like she lived there. 

she greeted utahime with a tight hug, her laughter filling the air before she spotted you. you could see how something in her expression faltered, how her smile stiffened  once it was directed towards you. “y/n, hi!”

she was so fake!

“hi…!” you managed, biting your lip, you tried to sound casual but something in your chest tightened anyway… how could you be able to forget the messages she sent you just a few days before? she crossed the room with confidence and sat beside suguru, right where you were supposed to sit. it was so unfair, why weren’t you able to have as much confidence as she did? the space felt heavier than it should and you had to look away first.

utahime sat back down next to you and said nothing, which was somehow worse than anything she could’ve said, you knew she was fuming but didnt want to make a scene for your sake. 

shoko later appeared from the kitchen doorway, everything about her changed the moment her eyes landed on the couch, or more specifically, on carmen. her posture stilled, her expression changed into something forcefully controlled, she looked at suguru, and he looked back, whatever passed between them didn’t need words to land. 

“...the food’s almost ready” she mumbled, already turning back to the kitchen, you then heard her scold gojo, her tone was much angrier. you heard gojo say "i know, i know" back and apologize.

utahime leaned into you again, narrowing her eyes. “i’m going to commit a crime y/n, on everyone’s soul.”

“please don’t swear on my soul?” you let out a faint and tired laugh.

“just know i’m holding it together for you, i don’t know how you’re so calm!”

“what the fuck do you want me to say? i can’t control who he invites over to his own house after all…” you sighed with a slight tone of sadness as you watched them talk, after all, you couldn’t be possessive or jealous about suguru, he barely knew you. 

carmen kept talking to him, something about her week, suguru replied when he needed to, but his attention wasn’t fully there, which made you slightly satisfied. you could see it now, the delay in his replies, the way his focus slipped, the way his eyes kept drifting back to you like he wasn’t even trying to hide it. 

why did he invite her over just to ignore her? was it to make you jealous? to make her jealous? 

“how’s it healing?” he asked suddenly. you looked up, checking if he was actually talking to you. he nodded slightly toward you, clarifying anyway. “your new tattoo.”

“it’s… um, good…” you cleared your throat, your eyes going everywhere but in his, “not sore anymore.”

he set his pen down without hesitation and smirked a little, definitely noticing how nervous you were. “come here. let me see it.”

carmen’s hand stilled on her phone, you felt a little dejavù, from when you had to watch her flirt with him and make him check her fuckass trump stamp just a few days before, now the roles were suddenly reversed.

utahime made a quiet choking sound beside you, but you stood anyway. you stopped in front of him, suddenly aware of the distance between you, or the lack of it, the way he was sitting and you weren’t, everything was so awkward.

“turn around,” he chuckled.

and you did, you sat on the carpet in front of him and brushed your hair out of the way. you heard him shift forward before you felt his fingers at the hem of your top, careful as he lifted the fabric just enough to expose your upper back. cool air brushed your skin as your cheeks immediately reddened at the simple touch, and you fixed your gaze on the carpet beneath you, focusing on anything that wasn’t him. 

his fingers moved slowly, following the ink up your shoulders, when he paused, you felt that too.

“he rushed this,” suguru murmured, taking his glasses and putting them on, his voice low and distracted, more focused on the work than the room around him. “the shading here is uneven. it should carry further out.”

he fixed your shirt back in one slow motion, his palm flat against your back for a moment longer than necessary before he pulled away. his contact was brief, practical on the surface, but it lingered in a way that made it hard to ignore.

when you turned around to look at him, carmen was watching you with furrowed brows. she wasn’t smiling anymore.

“i can fix it,” suguru said, pulling his glasses over his head. “shouldn’t take too long.”

“you want to redo his work?” you blinked and fixed your hair.

he crossed his arms, his jaw shifted slightly as he looked down at you, still sitting on the floor. “i want it done properly.”

the room had gone quieter than before, the kind of quiet that felt uncomfortable, because it meant everyone was listening. even gojo had stopped talking from the other room. 

you held suguru’s gaze for a moment before nodding, if the tattoo was done wrong you would’ve had to get it fixed eventually right?.

“okay… just tell me when”

something in his expression settled at that, like the outcome of this conversation had aligned with something he had already decided, carmen leaned back slightly on the couch, creating the smallest bit of distance between herself and suguru. 

shoko appeared again in the kitchen doorway, and this time she didn’t bother with pretense. her gaze moved from Suguru to you, sharp and assessing, before she spoke.

“you shouldn’t fix things that aren’t yours.”

her voice wasn’t raised but she was clearly pissed about something, perhaps carmen?

suguru didn’t look at her when he answered, he just kept staring at you and the tattoo that peeked through your neckline, “then maybe he shouldn’t have left it half-finished, im just trying to help her out.”

shoko smiled again and raised her brows in disbelief, but there was nothing warm in her smile this time.

“wow, so considerate. anyways, dinner’s ready,” she said.

the table sat six comfortably and seven with effort, which meant someone had to drag a chair in from nanami’s room at some point. you ended up between shoko and geto, which felt like being in the middle of a war, with all of the side eyes shoko was directing towards him. she had simply stood beside her chair and looked at you until you took the seat next to her, and geto had settled on your other side without hesitation, like there had never been another option. carmen sat directly across from you, clearly offended suguru didn’t even consider sitting next to her.

you suddenly became very interested in your pasta during that dinner.

and fairly so, gojo’s cooking was, against all reasonable expectations, actually good. this seemed to surprise everyone except gojo himself, who swore everyone underestimated him too much.

“i keep telling you,” he said, gesturing broadly with his fork. “i keep telling everyone i’m like the hotter version of gordon ramsey. nobody listens!”

“probably because you set the kitchen on fire in february?” nanami replied flatly.

“i remember he started crying, i have photos.” suguru let out a soft laugh.

“those pictures are out of context! i was crying because i was sorry!”

conversation then settled into something easy, gojo and utahime slipped into a familiar argument about their breakup and who was right and who was wrong, you swore they must’ve gone about that at least 50 times before, carmen began asking shoko about her classes and shoko simply replied coldly, carmen clearly failed to notice her clue to not talk to her that night, and nanami focused on his food like it was the only stable thing in the room. you let it carry you along, laughing when it was expected, responding when someone said your name, trying very carefully not to be aware of what (or who) was happening just to your left.

geto ate the way he did everything else, quietly and unhurried, precise. he spoke occasionally, and when he did, it landed in a way that made everyone at the table stop and listen, god, he was so charismatic. 

“can you pass the water?” his soft voice cut throught your thoughts, he hadn’t spoken to you directly since you sat down and those were his first words.

you moved without processing, reaching for the glass with the kind of reflex you were starting to hate. your hands were unsteady in such a frustrating way, just enough for you and hijm notice.

the way his eyes dropped to your hands before lifting again as he took the bottle from you. his fingers brushed yours for a fraction of a second, nothing that anyone else would have paid attention to, but it was enough to make you look back down at your plate and blush like an high schooler.

from the corner of your eye, you saw him set his glass down after drinking. there was the faintest hint of a smirk at the edge of his mouth, he was so satisfied with your nervousness, of course, his ego was just so fucking greedy and you just continued to feed it with each interaction the two of you had.

you took a deep breath and leaned towards him before you could overthink it, your voice low enough to stay beneath the noise of the table. “why did you invite us?”

he turned his head, and you immediately realized how close you were, close enough that it made it harder to think clearly and be mad at him for inviting carmen…

“what do you mean?” he raised a brow, tilting his head as he looked down at you.

“you know what I mean.”

“i told you, the tattoo.”

“you know that’s not an answer, you could’ve seen the tattoo any other time.”

“it answers enough though, that’s why i invited you.”

you stared at him, frustration rising, but he held your gaze with that same unreadable expression.

“who?” he asked after a moment.

“what?”

“you said ‘us’, didn’t you?’” the corner of his mouth shifted slightly as if trying to contain his smirk. “who are you worried about?”

“suguru… you know who.”

“carmen?” he said, easy and unbothered, like her presence meant nothing at all. “she invited herself, you know how she is.”

“i really don’t, all i know is that she hates me!”

“she’s harmless.”

“she called herself your girlfriend four days ago.”

something in his expression flickered, quick and subtle, something like… amusement. his gaze dropped your hands, where your fingers had started fidgeting against each other, and without saying anything he reached over and pressed two fingers lightly over your knuckles.

it wasn’t something meant to draw attention. it wasn’t even affectionate, but it stopped you immediately.

your hands stilled under his.

there’s no way he hasn’t noticed that i like him, you thought. there is absolutely no way.

“suguru, ‘m serious, i don’t want her to think im trying to get in the way of your friendship or whatever she’s thinking” you sighed, your voice quieter now, you seriously didn’t want anyone to hear how miserable you sounded.

“eat and don’t worry y/n,” he replied just as quietly, withdrawing his hand and turning back toward the table as if nothing had happened.

across from you, carmen hadn’t missed it.

she lifted her wine glass and held it to her lips, her gaze was steady as she watched the two of you, her expression was no longer soft, clearly. the warmth she had walked in with had shapened itself into something much colder, as if her true colors were finally starting to show. next to you, shoko suddenly became much more interested in your hands, her posture relaxed as she leaned back on her chair with furrowed brows, her attention unmistakably fixed on the same thing carmen had just seen.

the conversations on the other side of the table had moved on, but they didn’t settle the way they had before.

the topic of birthdays came up a few seconds after utahime tried to change the topic, speaking over gojo, who was loudly complaining that no one had specifically acknowledged his garlic bread.

“oh right! sooo, satoru,” carmen cut in smoothly, seemingly regaining all of her energy, tilting her head as she smiled, “what are you doing for your birthday?”

“i don’t knooooow,” gojo said immediately, deflating into a pout as he pushed food around his plate like a big toddler. “i don’t want to age. i don’t see why I have to.”

“you age every day,” nanami said without looking up.

“thank you, smartass. that’s genuinely not helpful at all.”

“wasn’t meant to be.”

you let out a little laugh before you could stop yourself, and gojo pointed his fork at you instantly. “you think that’s funny? you’re about to age too, you know. your birthday’s what, a week after mine?”

“a few days,” you nodded, still smiling.

“oh, really?” suguru spoke, and you turned toward him.

he was looking at you differently now, a slight frown pulling at his expression like something had just clicked into place and he didn’t like it.

“yeah…”

he didn’t reply immediately. instead, he turned slightly toward his white haired friend. “satoru, how do you know when her birthday is?”

“because she celebrated it here last year?? i swear you were present?”

the silence that followed was so fucking awkward.

“suguru,” shoko let out a loong sigh of disappointment without looking up from her phone, her tone flat, “she sat at this table and cut the cake with satoru…”

“you weren’t there?” you raised your eyebrows in genuine confusion, hoping your memory was betraying you because you definitely did remember him being there.

geto looked away, pretending to not remember, knowing damn well everyone at that table already knew he was there and just failed to acknowledge you on your last birthday.

“i was probably working, i’ll make it up to you this year” he shrugged.

“oh.” you dropped your gaze back to your plate. “right, now i remember…”

the pause that followed lingered just long enough to feel uncomfortable and humiliating before utahime stepped in.

“we should celebrate together again,” she said quickly, her tone bright as she tried to cheer you up. “we could all go out somewhere.”

“yes,” satoru said immediately, his mood snapping back into place. “i’ve been saying we should go out for weeks!!”

“you say that every week gojo.” nanami replied.

“and I’m right every week grandpa! we never do anything in this house!!”

“i’m in,” shoko mumbled unbothered, still looking at her phone.

carmen leaned forward slightly, putting on her best fake smile. “that sounds really fun. I’ll come too—”

“great then,” geto said.

his words cut cleanly across hers and everyone looked at him, he wasn’t looking at carmen, he was looking at you.

“we’ll plan something,” he smiled in a way that felt so unsettling from him, his voice was calm but pointed in a way that made it feel like the sentence was meant for you alone, even if everyone else heard it. “for your birthday.”

“hey, now wait a second! for her birthday?? what about min–!”

utahime dropped her glass on the table a little harder than necessary and cut him off.

their balcony was so small that three people standing on it felt like an inconvenience, which was probably why shoko only intended for two of them to be out here.

she'd gotten up from the table with the looks of someone who had already made a decision, said "i'm going for a smoke, suguru come with me" in a tone that wasn't really an invitation, and had his shoulder in her hand before he'd fully registered what was happening. 

he'd followed because he knew he had to when shoko used that tone, which could only mean she had something to say and had been waiting long enough to say it.

they'd made it approximately four steps onto the balcony before carmen appeared in the doorway behind them.

"wait for me!"

shoko didn't turn around nor awkwnoledge her, she pulled a cigarette from her pack, lit it, and took a long slow drag while the city spread out below them in its usual way, lights and noise and the faint sound of someone's music from the street below. geto leaned against the railing beside her. carmen stood slightly behind them both, close enough to forcefully include herself.

shoko exhaled, "you're playing with her," she crossed her arms without caring about carmen, who certainly knew who she was talking about.

geto looked out at the city and pinched the bridge of his nose. "shoko."

"i'm not asking, i'm telling you." she tapped ash over the railing. "you're playing with her and you think it's fine because she's letting you,"

"i'm not playing with anyone."

"seriously? and the hand thing?"

"at the table." shoko finally turned to look at him, "i saw you. she was nervous and you put your hand over hers and she went completely still and you just—" she made a small gesture with her cigarette "you found it funny! like it was nothing."

"because it was nothing?"

"it wasn't nothing to her!"

carmen was unsually quiet behind them.

shoko took another drag. “she's a nice girl, suguru, one of the nicest friends i have"

"i know that."

"do you?" that wasn't a question either, "because you've known her name for about two weeks and before that she'd been coming over here for months and you barely looked up when she walked in."

"and noooow that you found out lucas is her friend you suddenly want her to come to you for tattoos, you're texting her at one in the morning, you're touching her hand and stuff" she furrowed her brows, "what are you doing?"

"i'm not doing anything, you’re just overly protective because she’s your best friend"

"then what do you want from her? you've known all of my friends, you’ve never acted this way with anyone"

he was quiet this time.

"suguru." her voice dropped in a more direct way. "she actually likes you," she paused, knowing it was wrong to tell him. "she's been sitting in there all night trying not to let you see how much. and you already know that! that's the whole problem."

behind them, carmen made a small surprised sound, shoko didn't care enough turn around.

"i don't care that you're here," she said, still looking at geto. "you can hear all of this, it doesn't change what i'm saying”

"shoko—" carmen started with her victim voice, as if her words were actually hurting her.

"he's not your boyfriend and he clearly doesn’t like you, otherwise we wouldn't be here," still not looking at her, "i know you know that, i know he knows that. i'm saying it out loud because someone should." she took one last drag and stubbed the cigarette out on the railing edge. "but she doesn't know any of that, and she spent the whole dinner trying to take up as little space as possible because she genuinely doesn't think she's someone you'd choose."

carmen's voice came out smaller than usual, embarassed "i was joking when i sent those texts, it's not like i act like he's actually my boyfriend…" nobody responded to that.

"she's not going to keep letting you two do this," shoko said quietly. "she's not stupid. At some point she's going to realize it's easier to stop hoping with you" 

“ and you’re really an asshole for inviting her over knowing carmen was coming, im really disappointed this time suguru.” she pushed herself off the railing and moved past the both of them and toward the door.

the door slid shut behind her, geto stayed where he was, looking at nothing in particular. but carmen was still there. he'd almost forgotten.

"she's right," carmen said after a moment.

her voice was quiet and controlled in the way that meant it was taking effort to keep it that way. she wasn't looking at him, she was looking at the street below, wine glass still in her hand, "because y/n is such a poor, helpless little thing, right?"

he looked over at her, confused.

"i'm not trying to make things complicated," she continued, before he could say anything. her voice had taken on that particular passive aggressive tone,"i didn't do anything wrong. they're in there acting like i bullied her or something. i replied to a story." she shrugged, "that's it."

he said nothing, again.

"you're my best friend," she said. "you know that? like actually my best friend." she laughed once, short and a little hollow. "and then she just… shows up. and suddenly i'm the problem." she tilted her wine glass slightly, watching it. "but of course shoko takes her side. of course. because her little best friend is so sweet, so innocent, so unbothered." she smiled again, and it didn't reach anything. "and i'm just supposed to what?  become a background character? keep my mouth shut and watch?"

suguru exhaled slowly.

"she really likes you though," carmen added, and the way she said it shifted, she was mocking shoko’s voice "like actually likes you. the way she looks at you is—" she stopped. shook her head. then the smile came back, smaller and more pointed. "i was so cruel to her. the instagram thing." she pressed her bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout, voice dropping into something mock-sympathetic. "poor girlie."

he looked back at her for a moment.

"carmen," he said. "how old are you?"

she flinched. just slightly. then straightened up.

"i'm going to head home," she said.

he didn't stop her.

PHEWWW THANK GOD THIS IS OVER

kinda cringed me out because this shit is so dramatic im crine

im starting to like carmen chat... i don't know she's just fun to write

TAGLIST OPEN (LIKE OR REBLOG TO BE ADDED)

gojo is so us ❤️

PHEW I FINALLY GOT MY HANDS ON MY MACBOOK I PROMISE IM NOT GHOSTING YALL I WAS JUST BUSY THIS WEEK!! and i also played a lot of tomodachi life but we dont talk about that...

⌗ᆞ› masterlist › next › › prev

TAGLIST (LIKE OR REBLOG TO BE ADDED)