anti comfort zone

i think i'm having this realization about myself that i've internalized a very ideal & unrealistic version of belonging that does not actually exist. like i could really belong in a group of people, and still somehow i'd convince myself that i'm an outlier. maybe it's years of introversion, but anyone who's gone through the introvert to extrovert/introvert to a little less introverted pipeline knows it's a weird fucking feeling to mesh w people but have your mind trick you into thinking you don't

Reminder that the US bombed Iraq a day ago. Reminder that this attack has killed 16 Iraqis, many of whom were civilians. Reminder that Iraq has already suffered enough at the hands of US imperialism, that to this day it’s recovering from the aftermath of being defamed to the world as terrorists, from its cities being destroyed under the guise of “exterminating ISIS” (an echo of Israel decimating Palestine to “exterminate Hamas,” interesting), that the US has so many ulterior motives to continue encroaching upon Iraq that have nothing to do with their seemingly noble rationale, and that it does all this while funding Israel’s ongoing genocide of Palestinians (which are basically doing their dirty work of pushing further in on Arab territory). It’s jarring that this is all happening on a world stage & yet nothing is being done to stop it. Hands off Iraq. Free Palestine. Hands off Iraq. Free Palestine.

you guys have no idea what crazy friday plans i have (putting on a cute comfy fit, lip gloss mascara and spf applied, kilian’s love on pulse points, hitting the gym first thing in the morning w flash cards, studying at the library until sundown)

it actually hurt reading this update. civilians claim they found a minimum of 30 bodies near the hamad school in northern gaza, with both of their legs and hands tied, their eyes blindfolded. they were already in a state of decomposition. presumably they were tortured and killed, then dumped into a mass grave with no one the wiser. this cannot be any more blatant of a war crime, but still no authority—be it the ICJ or otherwise—is truly stepping it to put an end to israel’s relentless genocide of palestinians. to top it off, if israeli officers do release palestinian detainees, they do so in the most humiliating way possible. the same al jazeera article mentions that any palestinian detainees released were released in underwear. literally just underwear. no other clothes on. it’s insane how committed they are to ensuring that every act is an act of dehumanization. i am genuinely sick to the bone of anyone who has the gal to see all these atrocities and still have the nerve to say that this is not a genocide in live time.

Honestly a bumpy but good start to this year. So many new exciting things in my life & so many new people. Anyone who isn’t good for me took care of themself & stayed behind in 2023. All the dominoes are lining up for maybe one of the best years of my life if I just stay consistent & block out all the noise

the beauty of being an authentic, good-hearted person is that your presence is always felt + your absence will always be missed. that is why you don’t have to retaliate when someone wrongs you. they’ll feel it one way or another.

I think growing up is reconnecting w younger you and digging off the dirt from your intuition. Remember when u are a child and everything seems so clear as day. U know u like a certain teacher. U know u want to paint with a certain colour. U know u are craving sweets and u kick up a fuss to your parents. You know that you are sad and to feel better you watch your favourite tv show. It’s about reconnecting w that part..and don’t worry it hasn’t ran off. You just have to sharpen your listening. You are full of wisdom. Your body will tell you everything. Sit still and you will find your answer

This is the kinda year where I need to pull myself up by my boot straps and do everything I’ve been avoiding and focus on long term health and wellness even if it doesn’t provide me w insane dopamine and euphoria instantly. È difficile lo so ma devo farlo

The more you do anything the better you will improve. It’s an easy rule but so easy 2 forget. If you don’t create a space and create time for your hobby it’s very unlikely you’re going to improve.