you can hold the gun and point it at me. i'll trust you enough to play with it, thinking that the safety lock is on without a doubt. and i'll be the fool who gets shot.
you were too trigger happy / @bbgwrites
will byers stan first human second

cherry valley forever

oozey mess
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Andulka
Mike Driver
trying on a metaphor

Kaledo Art

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@bbgwrites
you can hold the gun and point it at me. i'll trust you enough to play with it, thinking that the safety lock is on without a doubt. and i'll be the fool who gets shot.
you were too trigger happy / @bbgwrites

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you ever think about what other peopleâs lives would be like if you didnât exist
you ever think about what your life would be like if you didnât exist
they didnât mean it
itâs okay
you have to learn to think positively
if you want to be happy you will be
youâre not working hard enough
you donât deserve to be here alive
why wasnât this life given to someone more grateful for it
laugh
laugh
weâre all laughing
things arenât as serious as youâre making them out to be
stop ruining this by being sad
stop fidgeting
stop picking at your fingers
everything about you is ugly
suck it up, when itâs time to leave you can cry
itâs time to leave and the tears wonât come out
my eyes are watering but itâs not enough
maybe if i scream to this song at the top of my lungs i will stop feeling
how hard can i grip my steering wheel to stop blood flow
i canât breathe
what can i do to stop this pain
the cold air is against my face and i donât even feel it
iâm walking through my neighborhood and everyoneâs front lights are turning on
you look as crazy as you feel
do you even feel
are you even real
what street am i on
i donât remember which house is mine
stop in front of it for a minute
touch every inch of my face with every finger on my hands
feel nothing
iâm hunched over the toilet bowl but canât do anything but burp
how did i get here
am i even real
staring at myself in the mirror and my eyes are bulging out of my head
theyâre bloodshot but iâm still not crying
i want to laugh at how ridiculous i look but my face is distorted
if i could feel anything iâd be scared but i canât so iâm not
pill label: take one pill two times a day for panic attacks
pill label: take one pill two times a day for depression
pill label: take one pill a day for bipolar disorder
pill label: take one pill 20 minutes before bedtime for occasional troubling sleeping
google search: how many pills do you have to take to overdose
google search: how do you stop reaching the suicide prevention hotline instead of death
google search: how many pills will change who i am
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
when does it ever end
stream of consciousness // dissociation
âin the darkest corners of my mind, i finally work up the courage to ask you. my hair is standing straight on end. i feel nauseous. my lips are shaking. i donât know how to phrase this. i ask, âdo you love me?â itâs so small, itâs almost a whisper. i shuffle my feet. i look down. you look at me. you swallow. you say, âif you asked me if i care about you, iâd say yes. if you asked me if iâd always be there to answer your calls, iâd say yes. if you asked me if i think you are beautiful, iâd say yes. if you asked me if i like hearing you scream my name under the covers,â you pause, a small smile playing on your lips, âiâd say yes. yes, of course.â âbut do you love me?â i ask again. you think iâd be satisfied with what you said. but i think iâm just mad. you shrug. âwell,â pause. âi just donât know,â you say.â
â WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED TO MAKE IT LOVE (via achingchest)

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me at 3am: i must buy a lace bralette and new journal and freshly cut flowers and adopt a cat immediately
â11 p.m. is for single mothers who cradle a glass of wine in their fingers and wait for the sound of a child crying they hope will never comeâ it always does. 12 a.m. is for high school students to do homework they didnât have time to do after lacrosse practice and dance rehearsalâ they yearn to rest their tired eyes but cannot. 1 a.m. is for sneaking into your bedroom on a school night at seventeen, reminding yourself how tired you will be in the morning, convincing yourself it was worth it. 2 a.m. is for star-crossed lovers rolling in bed sheets smelling of alcohol and tragic dreams that ironically lull them to sleep. 3 a.m. is for hopeless romantics wishing under late-night skies for someone to talk to, for someone who gets it. And all of those people think theyâve got it bad, but when 4 a.m. rolls around the corner, the past sinks into your veinsâ 4 a.m. is too late for anyone to save you, for when 4 a.m. tells you, âYou canât do this anymore,â you believe it.â
â 4 a.m. (via achingchest)
âReplacing one addiction with another, itâs too late to save this generation.â
â Hira (via hedonistpoet)
How the signs are feeling
Jaded as fuck and probably just wants to sleep: Sagittarius, Leo, Gemini, Libra
Amazing, only screamed into the void twice today: Virgo, Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio
Hasnât felt feelings in months but if you had to choose, tired: Aries, Capricorn, Aquarius, Taurus

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Stones and Crystals Masterpost
Agate: Strength, Courage, Longevity, Gardening, Love, Healing, Protection.
Amazonite: Gambling, Success, Auric healing.
Amber: Luck, Healing, Strength, Protection, Beauty, Love
Amethyst: Dreams, Overcoming Alcoholism, Healing, Psychism, Peace, Love, Protection against theft, Courage, Happiness.
Aquamarine: Psychism, Peace, Courage, Purification.
Aventurine: Mental Powers, Eyesight, Gambling, Money, Peace, Healing, Luck.
Azurite: Psychism, Dreams, Divination, Healing.
Bloodstone: Halting bleeding, Healing, Victory, Courage, Wealth, Strength, Power, Legal matters, Business, Agriculture.
Calcite: Spirituality, Centring, Peace, Love, Healing, Purification, Money, Protection, Energy.
Carnelian: Protection, Peace, Eloquence, Healing, Courage, Sexual energy.
Chrysocolla: Peace, Wisdom, Love.
Citrine: Nightmare prevention, Protection, Psychism. Â Energy type: Projective. Associated element: Fire.
Fluorite: Mental powers, Meditation.
Haematite: Healing, Grounding, Divination.
Iron Pyrite (Foolâs Gold): Healing, addiction, strengthening of the will. Â Energy type: Receptive. Associated element: Earth.
Jasper: Healing, Protection, Health, Beauty.
Jet: Protection, Anti-nightmare, Luck, Divination, Health.
Lapis Lazuli: Healing, Joy, Love, Fidelity, Psychic, Protection, Courage.
Malachite: Power, Protection, Love, Peace, Business success.
Obsidian: Protection, Grounding, Divination, Peace.
Onyx: Protection, Defensive magick, Reducing sexual desires.
Quartz: Protection, Healing, Psychism, Power, Lactation.
Ruby: Wealth, Protection, Joy, Anti-nightmare.
Sodalite: Healing, Peace, Meditation, Wisdom.
Sugilite: Psychism, Spirituality, Healing, Wisdom.
Tigers Eye: Money, Protection, Courage, Energy, Luck, Divination.
Tourmaline: Love, Friendship, Money, Business, Health, Peace, Energy, Courage, Astral Projection.
Turquoise: Protection, Courage, Money, Love, Friendship, Healing, Luck.
Positano, Italy
Marc E. Bassy (Feat. Kehlani) - Made Love First
how do i become easier to love
*literally nothing happens*
me: wow i want to cry

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is anyone else insecure as hell and seriously worried that no one will ever fall in love with them or is that just a me problem
LEO: You really donât want to admit it, because itâs a pretty ridiculous thought, but youâre scared of what being fully healed from the heartaches youâve experienced entails. Because you arenât sure of who you are when you arenât hurting and you donât know how to observe the world with unclouded eyes. Itâs okay to be apprehensive of the sides of yourself that you havenât had many opportunities to become acquainted with. While you may know yourself better than anybody else, that doesnât mean that you need to be an expert on all things you. Itâs okay to still be in the process of meeting yourself and figuring out who you are. You arenât racing the clock. VIRGO: Youâre finally embracing the things youâve been talking about doing for so long, but something feels off about it and you donât know why. Because isnât this the thing youâve been working towards? Isnât this the life you pictured yourself living after pulling yourself out of the gutter and onto the grass? I donât think itâs right to assume that youâve made the wrong decision here, but itâs important to remember that not everything you wrap your arms around is going to feel soft and easy to swallow. Sometimes the right decision has to hurt in order for it to be the right decision. Soon youâll know if thereâs anything that needs changing. LIBRA: I know that trusting your instincts after being led astray so many times is a difficult thing for you to wrap your head around. Youâre not the type to forget about the poor decisions youâve made, or the mistakes youâve given life to. However, road bumps and wrong turns aside, you are still a person worth listening to. It may seem as though everybody else has a map showing them the route to success and that yours was lost in the mail, but Iâm going to let you in on a secret: nobody has a clue, a lot of us are just really good at acting as if we are. You havenât fallen behind, youâre running with the wolves. SCORPIO: Everyone assumes that you have a lot of love in your life but, while itâs easy to pinpoint a handful of people that have handled your heart with the utmost care, itâs easier to identify those that havenât. At the end of the night the latter is what plagues your thoughts and wrings the tears out of your eyes, and admitting to that seems like a sign of weakness. But I want you to know that you arenât obligated to live up to the expectations that the world holds for you. Youâre allowed to make your own goals and visit your own places of interest. And the people that canât love you for that arenât people that you need surrounding you, anyways. SAGITTARIUS: You have a tendency to look for yourself in everybody you meet, stacking your personality traits up like chips in a poker game that youâre destined to lose. The problem here is that in order to do this it involves reducing yourself to the most basic of traits and that isnât what you are. Just because you can rattle off a list of acquaintances that use humor to detract from a situation in the same way that you do, doesnât mean that youâre a carbon copy conglomerate of the souls youâve met and interacted with. Youâre unique, and youâre a lot more than simply a list of shared qualities. There are parts of you that cannot be put into words. CAPRICORN: Has anybody told you lately that theyâre proud of you? I know that things have been piling onto your windowsill and that you havenât had the energy to clean it off yet but youâre still standing tall and youâre still here and thatâs something to be happy about. Celebrating the small victories isnât something that youâre used to doing, but itâs time that you start; itâs time that you open your eyes to all of the things that you do on a daily basis that warrant praise and positive attention. An action doesnât have to be monumental in order to be important. You do wonderful things each and every day. AQUARIUS: Itâs been difficult to get back into the depths of your passion because thereâs a really loud voice in your head saying that it isnât worth it. A feeling of insecurity welling up in your throat and spilling out of your mouth whenever you open it to speak. Sure, your dream is big. Cynics may have told you that it isnât worth pursuing. But thereâs a reason that youâre chasing what you are, right? Itâs because it makes you happy, and it makes you feel whole. And I know that it can be incredibly discouraging to stumble over things you care about, but you just have to keep walking despite all of that. Your goals are worth it. PISCES: Lately youâve been haunted by the memories of people that only came into your life to take. The nightmares have become an almost regular guest in your bed, taking the sheets and kicking your shins every night like clockwork. I want you to know that what you need to do in order to gain closure over the unkind past seems terrifying because it is. I also want you to know that you deserve to move on from those that have harmed your growth in the past. It may seem impossible to reach a place of contentment with the situation youâre picturing as you read this, but youâre more than capable of surviving whatâs follow you. Allow yourself to thrive. ARIES: Taking care of yourself still feels foreign, sometimes. Acting adult-like is an oversized jacket that youâre familiar with shrugging off and leaving at home despite the weather that requires its presence. Thereâs too much societal and social pressure to be fully grown all of the time, in my opinion. Not to say that you shouldnât be responsible, or that you donât already take care of the things that you need to, but youâre able to reevaluate what it means to be a successful human being. You arenât chained to standards or rules or cookie-cutter definitions of âbeing a grown-up.â Donât lose touch with the roots that mean so much to you. TAURUS: Another ending, another heartbreak, another name written through the steam on your shower wall. It isnât fair that you give so much and still only get apple cores and empty promises handed back to you. I know youâre starting to wonder if it really is a âyou-thing,â if the absences youâve needed to learn to exist around were created by your own hands in ignorance. While most failed connections falter on both sides of a line, that doesnât mean youâre allowed to be mean to yourself for things that arenât exclusively your fault. Being kind to yourself is a practice that will benefit you more than you know. Itâs okay to give yourself a break. GEMINI: Happiness is a lover that always sends you postcards but never tells you when theyâre coming home. Youâve grown so accustomed to their quick scrawl reading âwish you were hereâ that you can almost predict each cardsâ arrival after every new bout of sadness. It feels like your emotions enjoy mocking you a lot of the time, making you cry over your latest heartache while reminding you of the moments in which you felt nothing but pure and unfiltered joy. I canât guarantee the continuous presence of bliss in your life, but I will say in confidence that itâll always come back to you. Even when you think it wonât. Especially then. CANCER: Itâs a lot easier to let the dying embers of a fire fade into darkness than it is to stoke them back to life. I know that youâre tired of crouching next to weak flames, watching them flicker and refuse to glow despite your best efforts, and for good reason. Everybody knows that you deserve better from the world, that isnât a question. How could you, the big-hearted lover of love, be destined for something as ugly as this? The answer is that you arenât. Large, beautiful, fulfilling things are on their way, slowly but surely. Donât forget that it wonât always feel like this. You wonât always view happy moments as a quick reprieve from the norm. Promise.
AUGUST HOROSCOPES, by Caitlin Conlon (via cgcpoems)