B.A. Warbler

Sebastian watched Blaine’s face, the journey of his gaze traversing from Blaine’s hairline to his chin, darting to his cheeks and nose between. He shook his head. “You weren’t wrong,” Sebastian assured. He didn’t want any self allowed lies to be between them, not know and not about this. The ugly truth should be thrust out into the open just as easily as Mike Chang’s name. Again Sebastian couldn’t escape the feeling of that need just as urgently as before. He wanted Blaine to know who he was really dealing with. “I wanted to fuck you, Blaine,” said Sebastian bluntly. “And that’s it. I was playing a game when I first invited you to coffee. You were so trusting. Like a little lamb. Honestly it was adorable. I thought it was going to be so easy, too. Playing the part of the good guy.” His words died in his throat and his throat dried out a little.

    “You know. The thing about all that is, they say the most convincing lies have a little truth in them. I had to get you hooked, so.” Sebastian shrugged. So that’s why he’d revealed little bits of himself to Blaine that he never had with anyone else before. That, surmised Sebastian, had been the beginning of the end of everything. That’s what had led to this. How different his life would’ve been if he hadn’t gone after Blaine. If neither boy were exactly who they were. And wasn’t that the lesson in all of this? That being themselves instead of who other people thought they were or wanted them to be was what actually led them to fall for each other. What a novel idea.

    He didn’t give Blaine a real chance to process what he’d said. Instead he moved forward and sat in Blaine’s lap, thighs brushing the outer muscle of the shorter Warbler’s thighs. He used the pad of his finger to gently tilt Blaine’s head back and their lips were so dangerously close that he could steal a kiss. He gave a wolfish grin, and then said in a soft voice, “Your mistake.”

The bottle’s lip was put against Blaine’s and then Sebastian tilted it so that the golden liquid inside slid forward, drifting in a steady flow down Blaine’s throat, like a stream moving onward in it’s rightful bed. He pulled back when the bottle was empty, and wiped Blaine’s bottom lip with his thumb, keeping his palm cupping Blaine’s cheek for just a minute. “Good job, Killer.”

The warmth of the water in the tub, and the alcohol in the champagne flushed Blaine’s cheeks and made his head begin to get a little fuzzy.  He closed his eyes, biting down on his lip to keep a moan from tearing from his throat at Sebastian’s cavalier admission.  Those words echoed through his head, hushed, and urgent; ‘I wanted to fuck you, Blaine’.  Blaine barely seemed to register what Sebastian was saying and his eyes didn’t open again until Sebastian’s thighs brushed against his and sat in his lap.  There was only a breath, a whisper of a breath between them, as he looked up into Sebastian’s bright, almost glowing, green eyes. 

Blaine drank down the golden, bubbly, fluid greedily.  Sebastian did a good job of pouring steadily, not too much, and it made Blaine wonder how often Sebastian did something like this.  He lightly pressed his lips together in a kiss against the tallers’ thumb as he wiped at the little bit of excess champagne that had escaped.  Blaine reached up, his hand covering Sebastian’s where it cupped his cheek, holding it it place.  His eyes stared up into Sebastian’s; “I don’t think it’s a mistake to trust you.  I think it means a lot to you that I trust you; not just that someone trusts you, but because you know what it means to me to trust someone,” he said softly. 

Blaine’s other hand went to Sebastian’s thigh, fingers splayed towards the outside of his thigh, and thumb brushing along the fabric on the inside.  “I was wrong to judge you before getting to know you,” he said, “even if...that’s...all you wanted.  You’re right though, there is a little truth in the lies, because you really are a good guy.”  Licking over his lips, Blaine moved his hand a little further up Sebastian’s thigh. “And now Sebastian?  What do you want from me now? Is this all still a game, where getting me into bed is the prize?  I think despite inviting me in here, and having me exactly where you’ve always wanted me, I think you want something different now; something more.”

Sebastian listened to Blaine’s story about Mike and how they’d met. He didn’t know why he’d brought Blaine’s boyfriend up, but then it never made Sebastian uncomfortable to put things right out front. Be open about them. Provocative even when it stirred up something uncomfortable. His intent wasn’t to make Blaine unsettled but Sebastian knew that they both needed to face some truths. Their time to be like this together was limited and even if Blaine forgot Mike was in the equation, Chang always loomed over everything to do with Blaine for Sebastian.

  Blaine’s glass now replenished Sebastian filled his own again and took at least half down in the first gulp. It wasn’t like he was trying to get drunk. Though ever since the detox he’d avoided a lot of alcohol to a big extent because it had led him to some bad choices with guys. It was the social and sensual liberation lubricant Sebastian had enjoyed when he was doing all the things that had led him to even need the detox. Sebastian questioned whether this thing with Blaine was now one of those things. How fatefully ironic would it be if the one person who revealed the inner truth of Sebastian and exposed his vulnerabilities was also one of the boys who would turn out to be too dangerous for Sebastian. Too toxic for him to be around because of old patterns of ingrained habit, too aged to die easy?

  What was making Blaine say these things? Was it his guilt? Some sense of sadness? Was it the champagne. It hurt Sebastian to hear these things. Like maybe their almost love was something to be pitied. That Sebastian was wounded for it. Hell, maybe he was. Maybe it did make him feel inadequate. But he was fucked up. This whole situation was. Inviting Blaine in for champagne and a soak in the hot tub. How could this be a good idea in any universe? Even a pretend one of their own vacation escape?

  “Hey,” said Sebastian, shaking his head. “Don’t.”

  He looked into Blaine’s eyes. It was a quiet moment and there was a pain somewhere in his throat that didn’t leave traces in his tone. “You don’t owe me anything, Blaine,” said Sebastian. “I don’t owe you anything either. So. Forget it.”

  What was done was now done, however. Sebastian couldn’t help but untangling his leg from Blaine’s, all under the guise of pouring each of them more. The bottle was almost empty. Sebastian had a reserve somewhere, or he could make room service bring them some if he didn’t. They’d need it soon. When he was finished pouring the taller teen took his time taking a small sip, letting the sweet liquid slide down his tongue and dip into his throat. He set his glass on the edge and spread out. He was feeling a little off kilter from Blaine’s comments. They made him realize how screwed up everything was and it made his head feel messy.

  This was the thing. Constructing his mask used to be so easy for Sebastian. Yet he realized as his face scrunched up a bit and he tried to shake his head clear, it was no use. He couldn’t act around Blaine right now. Not that it would stop him from trying. Sebastian gave a laugh and slipped into a more playboy demeanor. He grabbed the bottle and looked at it. “Look at that, it’s almost empty.” He stood up and stood directly in front of Blaine. “What do you say I pour the last few sips down your throat, Killer? Promise I’ll be extra careful.” He grinned, ready to straddle Blaine on his cue.

This time it was Blaine’s turn to shake his head.  “Sebastian,” he said softly, “I know we’ve always said no promises and I don’t care if you can’t or won’t.  But I want to make you promises.  That’s just who I am.”  He pushed himself up out of the water a little more and drank from the replenished glass.   “Maybe I got it wrong.  Maybe I made the wrong choice and I’ve got to live with that.  But I can tell you I was wrong.  Maybe I was afraid.”  His curls shook again, taking another drink, and putting his glass aside.  “Whatever it was though, it was me, not you.  As cliche as that sounds,” he laughed. 

It wasn’t just the champagne; although it made Blaine feel warm and fuzzy, it made his thoughts more clear.  What he felt for Mike was very real, but it wasn’t on the same level as what he felt for Sebastian.  And things with Mike had grown as they’d spent more time together, as friends, and then even more intimately.  But while Mike and Blaine had spent a while night together, shared a bed, falling asleep trading lazy kisses and waking up to gentle touches, that was nothing compared to this time with Sebastian.  It was almost expected Blaine thought, the way he’d grown into these deeper feelings for Sebastian.  And he knew he’d need to talk to Mike when he got back.  And Blaine couldn’t, wouldn’t say anything while Sebastian was still on the detox.  Not that he could see a situation where it would matter much anyway.

Even in a slightly fuzzy state, Blaine could see the shift in Sebastian, at the mention of Mike; even though it had been Sebastian himself who’d first mentioned him.  So many things seemed to play out on the others’ face, but none long enough that Blaine could really place them, especially in his condition.  Still, Sebastian’s laugh pulled Blaine out of his thoughts with how fake it sounded.

   It was nice in a slightly painful way to hear Blaine say what he did. Yes, this was a perfect night. It was also a night of dangling dangerous and unreachable things in front of each other. Was the safety Sebastian felt and the yearning for intimacy all despite Blaine’s unavailability to him and Sebastian’s own need for time from men, or was it because of it? Was Blaine all the more attractive to Sebastian because he couldn’t have him? He was nice and comfortable and safe, yet Sebastian still wanted him. It made the French boy think of all the ones he’d been attracted to in the past. Blaine definitely broke the mold of his type but he’d also broken through to Sebastian’s capacity for vulnerability in a way no one else had. Sebastian should be scared of him. Scared of what Blaine could do to him; and while he was, Sebastian was also still able to let Blaine see glimpses of the real him, and be comfortable in moments like these. Soft moments without the promise of sex or the shadow of ego.

   “Perfect,” said Sebastian, an echo of Blaine’s sentiment, but not necessarily either agreeing or disagreeing with it. It was simply a repition. Sebastian’s eyes were far away for a minute. Though he decided very quickly that if he was going to be in the pocket of this moment with Blaine then he’d better take advantage of it while he still could. Soon they’d be back in Westerville and their own little paradise bubble would burst. So Sebastian scooted from his side of the hot tub to sit directly beside Blaine only a body’s space away. He made sure to bring the champagne with him to refill Blaine’s glass all the way to the top. Sebasitan’s devilish grin spread across his lips.

   “Better take a sip of that, Killer,” he said. “Wouldn’t want to waste any on the tub water.” Sebastian’s gaze fell to Blaine’s lips and he paid extra close attention to them in anticipation of Blaine’s taking another drink. There was something in Blaine’s movements that were extra appealing to Sebastian in the moment, and he wanted to commit every one of them to memory. For later. For science.

   Blaine had a way of turning even the most sensuous of playful moments into a vulnerable one as well. Though it was nice to know that he could make Blaine feel that way. Good, reassured. It gave Sebastian a glimmer of some hope that maybe, even if he couldn’t have Blaine, he could make the other male regret that fact. Still, he took a few minutes before responding, taking his leisure at sipping his own glass of champagne.

  “Yeah well, the truth is, we’re all that scared kid,” said Sebastian. Looking up and shaking his head. “All of us. We just don’t like the world to know it.” It was how Sebastian saw a lot of the world. You couldn’t show weakness or fear. There were too many willing to take you down for that. “It’s too dangerous.” Had Sebastian revealed too much of himself by saying these things? No. Blaine already knew Sebastian’s fears. Abandonment. Being unworthy. These were deep scars in Sebastian’s psyche and well, despite being completely open with Blaine at one point or another during their time together, Sebastian had never gotten to see the same of Blaine’s scars. So, this? This was nice.

   Sebastian tangled his legs with Blaine’s beneath the water. “You have nothing to worry about by the way,” he said. “No one ever sees the scared little kid in you. You, Blaine Anderson, are a boy wonder. The only thing anyone ever notices about you is how good you are.” He wasn’t lavishing on compliments with a goal in mind. Sometimes he would, but not now. This wasn’t Sebastian wooing a conquest. This was Sebastian telling another what he saw. Without thinking about it. He downed his champagne and poured himself another serving, checking to see if Blaine needed more too. “Is…that what Mike sees? You as the performer?” asked Sebastian.

Blaine watched with a warm smile as Sebastian moved closer, to his side of the tub and filled his champagne flute to the top.  He took several small sips, moving to where the glass was instead of trying to move it to him, before leaning back and closing a bit of the space between them.  “I know that’s what the world is like in general; I’ve been on the receiving end of that.  So I try, hard, not to be like that.”  Chewing on his lip Blaine looked up at Sebastian.  “I think you know what about me.” 

Blaine liked the way their legs tangled together under the water, like they might under the blankets.  He twisted his body slightly to face Sebastian, and reached up to push a strand of his hair back off his forehead.  “I feel a little full of myself when you say things like that, but if I’m honest, sometimes I think I’d like to see myself the way you see me.  And I think I’d like it if you could see the you I see.”

The curly haired Warbler took another long sip of the champagne; cheeks flushing at the mention of Mike.  It should make him move way, untangle their legs, but instead he moved a fraction closer.  “I think that might be it?  I don’t know.  I guess that’s how we met, sectionals and I complimented him on his dancing, he on my singing.  I had the good fortune to be his secret Santa and gave him tickets to the Nutcracker and it just kind of exploded from there.”  Blaine swallowed down the rest of his champagne again.   “But I’d like to think he sees past all of that.”  Chasing the taste of the champagne on his lips with his tongue, he looked at Sebastian.  “Do you really want to talk about Mike right now?”

Seblaine Week 2016 - Day 5: Free Day

Sebastian gave a little grin and a shrug of his shoulders. “No pressure or anything. Just a suggestion.” The caramel haired teen was not one to pressure Blaine into anything, or anyone for that matter. Sebastian had been pressured into something he didn’t want by Nate and it was one of the worst experiences Sebastian had gone through. He quickly shoved the thought aside and focused on the bubbles and the champagne.

 There was a light chuckle at Blaine’s incredulity. Sebastian wasn’t going to correct him about what Cooper had actually been trying to say to him. It was embarrassing enough for Sebastian to have gone through it. He was fine letting Blaine think his big brother had insinuated something would happen between them. That seemed to be the real question here, tonight. Would something happen? It shouldn’t. Blaine had a boyfriend and Sebastian was on the detox. He’d chosen all the wrong men in his life for all the wrong reasons. The parade of faces and bodies there for a singular night had been there to erase all of Sebastian’s invalidation and abandonment. Nate had pushed things a little too far and…Sebastian found himself only truly comfortable around Blaine these days. Even Hunter was a little too intense for him right now.

 This was why New York had been the perfect escape. He had gotten to spend time with Blaine without the pesky problem of le boyfriend, and at the same time get away from the crushing loneliness of being at Smythe Manor all by himself, nothing to pass the time but the aching memories of all the wrong decisions he’d made in his life.

 Sebastian climbed into the tub and smirked at Blaine’s question, pouring the two of them a glass each of the fine and expensive champagne. “Oh, bright eyes, you’re too innocent. Honestly. Let’s just say I have my ways.” His smile was a part seduction, part smug satisfaction, and a dash of comfortable mischief. He handed Blaine his glass and wondered idly if the innocent teenager would take it or not.

The way that Blaine implicity trusted Sebastian to be the first to see his scars in over a year was…overwhelming in only the best of ways. Sebastian took pleasure in the fact that not even Mike had gotten to see these scars. No matter what Blaine wanted to say about their relationship it was becoming clearer to the caramel haired teen that maybe things weren’t so serious and deep as he’d been led to believe. It irked Sebastian in some ways because he felt as though he could offered something to Blaine if he weren’t so reticent about all of it. If he weren’t so insistent that he and Michael were meant to be together and that in time they’d make it all the more serious.

 At times Blaine seemed hopelessly devoted to Mike, and yet all too willing to indulge in the errant yearnings of Sebastian’s fickle fancy, playing the part of the wide-eyed, innocent ingenue whose virtue was thrust upon Sebastian to test the fiber of his morals. This moment, however, was not about Sebastian. It was about Blaine. He needed to know that this was okay. That his trust in Sebastian wasn’t misplaced.

 The lanky teen sank into the bubbles and took a deep breath. “I don’t see anything,” said Sebastian, of Blaine’s scars, which he was obviously so self-conscious about. “I just see you,” he said. Sebastian wet his lips with his tongue. “You comfortable?” he asked. Then, “I could drain some of the water. Cool it off a bit. If you want.” Whatever happened, Sebastian didn’t want Blaine to leave too early. This tub and the boy climbing in…it was the perfect antidote to everything wrong in Sebastian’s life, and he would hold on to this evening for as long as he possibly could.

Blaine took the glass from Sebastian and immediately put it to his lips with a shy smile.  “Thank you,” he said genuinely before taking a sip, laughing softly at the tingly feeling of the bubbles in the champagne.  “You like that though,” Blaine said finally looking up, his eyes meeting Sebastian’s. “I think you like that I’m innocent.  I think you wonder if I’m real sometimes.” 

His face flushed at Sebastian’s words though and he dipped his head with a shake of it and a soft smile.  “Sebastian... thank you,” Blaine breathed and he let himself slip into the tub, the bubbles covering the parts he’d been so worried about.  “I’m good, this is good,” he nodded his head and took another sip of his champagne, his feet sliding atop of Sebastian’s. 

Blaine closed his eyes and just relaxed into both kinds of bubbles, sighing softly.  “This is a perfect...night,” he said softly.  Guilt tugged at him, for even thinking that, let alone voicing it, when his boyfriend was in Ohio, and he was here sharing a very... intimate... moment with another boy.  But somehow it always seemed that even the most routine things with Sebastian had an air of intimacy.  Blaine didn’t understand how or why. 

Sebastian listened to Cooper do his whole big brother routine. It was honestly nothing short of what he was expecting. Although, with one major difference. He was expecting Cooper to tell Sebastian to back off. To respect Blaine’s relationship. Was he being given the green light to fool around with Blaine even though he had a boyfriend? Sebastian didn’t think it was Cooper’s permission to give, but he got where the sentiment was coming from. Still. He was pretty annoyed with getting a speech in the first place.

As Cooper continued talking he fidgeted a little, and looked away from his eyes. “Shouldn’t you be giving this little speech to his boyfriend?” he asked.

“Look I don’t know what you think you saw, but–” Sebastian was interrupted by the sound of Blaine knocking on the door. Whatever denial he was about to spout to Cooper, he was now unable to give. He was also kind of under the impression now that it wouldn’t have worked anyway. It still irked Sebastian. What did this guy think he knew about him? For all the time the teenager spent perfecting the mask that he presented to everyone else, he didn’t like the thought that someone who continually said he ‘didn’t know him’ still recognized the attraction and the care in Sebastian’s gaze. It was discomfiting, and it made Sebastian’s skin crawl.

Was it just something in the Anderson genes that did it to him? That threw him totally off his balance. As Blaine came into the room, he stifled a groan, and had the opportunity to finally drink in his appearance.

From his patterend swim shorts to his tank top, Sebastian thought he looked so thoroughly Blaine, and it warmed him a bit. He started to smile, and then corrected the smile into a smirk. “You’re wearing way too many clothes,” he said. “As usual.” Sebastian sauntered over to Blaine and took his towel, hovering behind him and letting his hand brush across his shoulder blades to take the thick material. He folded it carelessly and tossed it onto a nearby chair. “Feel free to lose some more.”

Sebastian’s eyes traveled to the door behind Blaine’s figure for a moment and he leaned in, lifting a brow. “I think your brother just told me to make sure we use a condom.” He was referring to Cooper’s line of advice to 'be careful’ and 'safe’ with Blaine. Totally not what the older male had meant, but Sebastian still found a way to twist it into something sexual and salacious. “You know, for when we 'have fun.’” Sebastian winked at Blaine and turned away toward the tub. It had been running this entire time and it was now near to overflowing.

Steam rose in billowing clouds and for a moment Sebastian contemplated opening a window. He did unplug the drain a minute or two and let some of the water run out. After all, two bodies had to fit in this tub and he didn’t want any spilling on the carpet. “Really, though,” he said. “Get comfortable.” His hand was still in the water and he shook the droplets off as he plugged the tub back up and stood straight. “The water’s perfect.”

“You like it hot, right?”

Oh how he loved to play the lascivious Romeo to Blaine’s bashful Juliet. How he loved to make his cheeks color and some sort of indignation come to his tone. It made Sebastian feel at home, to be able to be this way with his friend.

About then was when he turned toward the mini-fridge, pulling out the chilled glasses and the bottle of champagne that he’d been keeping. “If not, I have something to help cool us down.” He held the bottle up for inspection, with the label touting 'champagne’ in clear view. “The surprise I told you about.” Sebastian watched Blaine’s face as he moved back over to the tub and began to climb in, one calf at a time. “Care to join me, Mr. Anderson?” There wasn’t a dream in Sebastian’s head that the other would say no.

Blaine shook his head playfully with a chuckle as he looked up at Sebastian, face flushed, heat spreading through his body.  “I don’t really... I mean, I haven’t exactly been shirtless in front of someone not in my family in... over a year,” he breathed shyly.  He licked at his lips, his fingers toying with the edge of his shirt.  

The shorter boy’s mouth dropped open in a silent squawk of indignation; face fully aflame now, and he knew the colour would be travelling down his neck, across his shoulders and upper chest.  “He did not!  Did he?” Blaine asked eyes wide as he moved further into the room.  “You know I can... that’s not why....that’s so not any of his business,” he finally settled on.  The mere thought of having sex, of losing his virginity to Sebastian, sent a current of electricity, of desire through his body and he had to close his eyes and calm his raging hormones.  

It didn’t help that Sebastian seemed to be set on twisting everything into some salacious comment.  Blaine moved over to the tub and dipped his hand in.  It was a comfortable hot, but he had a feeling that not too long in that tub and he’d be completely pliable and loose.  Especially with the addition of the champagne Sebastian seemed to had been able to procure from somewhere.  “Where did you manage to get that?”