Softies

Spencer has hated it since he was a child. Not only is he autistic and inevitably thrown into a meltdown because of the fireworks, his mother used to react poorly to the loud explosions—either becoming completely despondent or crazed for the entire night and it usually carried into the next day. Safe to say Spencer never has and never will get a good night’s rest on the 4th.

Emily spent so much of her childhood in other countries that she’s never really been concerned with celebrating America’s independence day (not that her mom would have celebrated such a trivial holiday with her anyways). Her hate for the holiday continued to grow as she became more intimately familiar with the almost identical sound of gunshots so the 4th of the July is a no-go for her.

Like most of the BAU, Derek really isn’t a huge fan of any noises that are loud and resemble sounds he encounters on a weekly basis while working. And, sure, he’s all for celebrating America or whatever but the whole day is so boring—and also in the middle of summer it’s a million degrees outside, who actually enjoys that?—and he personally favors Thanksgiving because at least there’s football to watch.

JJ loathes the holiday. The fireworks only serve to remind her of her time in the Middle East and everything she’s lost. Being around loud noises—especially explosions—hasn’t been easy for her for a long time now and the 4th of July tends to be a yearly reminder of everything she tries so hard to forget. It really just dredges up things she doesn’t want to be thinking about which also makes it the worst holiday imaginable for her.

Penelope actually enjoys fireworks (for the most part, occasionally the noises send her spiraling back into old memories and then she’s not so fond of them) because, to her, who can pass up pretty, exploding colors? But the actual holiday aspect is meh. Garcia is the first to say fuck the government and go full anarchist (listen this woman would gladly hack any government agency for fun if she didn’t work for one).

Hotch just thinks people are obnoxious. They’re so loud and all he wants to do is sleep so would they kindly please stop with the fucking fireworks. So yeah, he’s just a grouchy old man (and maybe he has nightmares every night on July 4th but that is completely irrelevant and definitely not related to the loud explosions). He’ll buy fireworks for Jack’s sake but hates every minute of it.

Rossi, again, not a huge fan of loud noises but he cares significantly less than most of his team members. His particular grudge against the 4th mostly comes from the abysmal food that is served. Like really whoever invented the holiday could have at least picked better food options than hotdogs, beer, and vanilla cake (he’ll agree that apple pie is good but that’s about it). He also hates barbecuing so it’s a lose-lose situation.

Anyway whenever the government (and serial killers) are nice enough to give them the day off they all find various ways to avoid the holiday at all costs.

This usually involves them all ditching the city and heading out to spend the weekend at Rossi’s cabin outside the city (it’s really and truly a mansion surrounded by trees but it’s also made out of logs so it counts).

- he's so incredibly sweet like. He offers you candy when you hang out and always picks up when you call

- he’s always happy to listen to you and never gets sick even when you talk for hours

- every once in a while he'll open up ab himself and it's so amazing

- his fashion style is really impeccable and you love how he looks in all his sweater vests and designer cardigans

- you always feel like the room gets hotter when he’s only wearing a button down with the top button undone

- he’s really busy with his work for the FBI and working on his next PhD, but he still finds time to hang out with you when you ask

- you mostly hang out in your living room while you lay on your couch and he's in his fav bean bag chair

- it's so cute and meaningful how he writes everything down in his leather journal

- he's scared he'll develop schizophrenia and forget who you are, so he documents your time together

- he doesn’t like sleeping in places he’s not completely accustomed to but he won’t let you come to his apartment

- one day this really hot dude picks him up when he leaves your place

- the next time you see him you tell him that you 3 should hang out sometime

- the dude picks him up again and this time you see them kiss

- you feel really betrayed bc you trusted him to be loyal

- the next day, you confront him and tell him you saw him kissing that guy and that‘s not okay

- he just looks really confused and is like,,, why not? He’s my boyfriend and you realize

- he's not your bf he's your fuckin therapist dumbass

- there's a reason you're in therapy

- literally look at him he's a nerdy twink

- he's got rainbow striped socks

- he wears designer cardigans

- he has an engagement ring wtf are you really that dumb