bathreflections

Not allowing you into his house because you don’t get on your knees every night for him makes God a shitty boyfriend.

this sure is a post that was made on reddit

Is there a weird kid in Japanese schools who is outcast for watching American TV and not wearing a hello kitty backpack and he watches regular live action porn and everyone is like who’s the fucking weirdo?

If you say ‘rise up lights’, you simultaneously say 'razor blades’ in an Australian accent.

A cured patient is a lost customer

some guy wrote this thinking about how big doctor couldn’t fool him

Unintelligent people feel happier because they don’t question many things.

this was written by someone who thinks they’re a lot smarter than they actually are

It’s so hard to get laid if you don’t have confidence. And it’s so hard to have confidence if you don’t get laid.

I’m not sure what’s worse, that I thought a penny on the railroad tracks might crash the train, or that I was willing to put one there to find out.

preeeetty sure it’s the latter

What if deja vu is just you losing a life and starting at the last checkpoint?

My seven month old can go from Crying to Laughing and back to Crying in under a minute and it’s cute. If I see an adult do that I’m walking away from them.

Working at a porn company is the only place where you would have to switch TO a porn screen if your boss comes walking around

As a married man, no positive life choices can lead to more bjs, but negative ones definitely will.

what does this mean

I’m pretty sure that “aliens” have already discovered us, but they must think we’re idiots, destroying our own planet and fighting each other

If I removed all my skin, I would weigh less but I would be less skinny…

please don’t remove all your skin

GIFs are bringing us back to the era of silent film

no they’re not what kind of fake deep bullshit is this

What if Morpheus just got Neo hooked on drugs and the end of the trilogy he was dying of an overdose?

Well at least it’s not a kid’s show.

Luke Skywalker still never picked up those power convertors at Tosche Station.

I am pretending I thought of this joke from the internet by myself.

Ethics is a concept that should really be introduced in elementary school, not college.

I severely underestimate how difficult university ethics is, and for some reason think that children aren’t taught morals.