I just want to be fucking happy

been ages since I've cried myself to sleep lol

only back cause have no release, no one to talk to and in a fucking shit place again

lol guess who's back

someone please help me like this is my cry for help

I'm drowning

i am so scared but I don't know what to do with myself

I feel like I could just slip away and no one would notice and care and I wouldn't have to put up with my mind anymore and trying to please everyone and trying to be this brave and strong person that I'm not like I just want to be free I hate living with this. It's like people who hate living with their disability or other mental health issues they just want to be gone cause they hate it and don't want to deal with it anymore and that's what I want. I don't want to deal with this shit anymore and go through this daily battle I just want to be gone and to stop being trapped

like I hate that mental illness just crept up on me like I used to be so happy and confident and now I'm not and I do everything wrong and upset everyone and I hate it

I feel so trapped and enslaved in my own mind

someone jumped in front of a tube 2 days ago when I was in London and I wish I could do that right now. I wish I could have helped them and they could have lived and I would have gone cause I am so so unhappy and I am hurting so much and I need to just be free from my mind

swear I was just born to be miserable or just born as a punishment like everyone hates me and everyone hurts me and that's it

it's so funny that everyone just thinks I'm fine and ok and happy and confident because of my social media like no one knows how I feel inside or what I go through or what happens in my head or anything they just see photos or what I want to show to the world

no one will ever ever ever understand how I feel and how much I struggle

I just wish I could be someone else and I can't so I don't want to be me

please someone just end this and put me out my misery

I want to stop hurting and I want to stop being me and living in this trapped mind