My Masturbation Journal

The first time any guy cums is a milestone. The first time I came is something seared into my memory. I was 12 years old. I had been masturbating a lot up until that time. I knew that stroking my penis felt damn good but there were no explosive fireworks at the end.

My earliest memories of my penis feeling good go way back to 5-6 years old. I always knew it felt good to touch myself there, but I didn’t know anything more than that. Around 8 or 9 years old I remember playing breath games with other boys – where you’d hold your breath and spin around. This is my first recollection of feeling something really strong and good from my penis. I was holding my breath and spinning and my penis was pulsating. I was a little dizzy, but damn, my penis felt great!

Later on a few years I went skinny dipping with other boys in the neighborhood. One family had a pool and sauna and we’d spend a lot of time there swimming – and skinny dipping when their mom was away. I remember one time we got caught and she basically laughed it off – so we just kept doing it.

This was also around the time when puberty started. My friends with the pool were two brothers about two years apart. I was right in between both. I was fascinated when I noticed the other brother’s first appearance of pubic hair. I’m sure there was some joking around about it but I don’t remember that; I remember the fascination and knowing what was coming for me.

I knew what happened to boys in puberty. I knew about cumming. Actually I knew about the physiology of ejaculation and that I was supposed to feel good. I really didn’t know much else.

A couple of times at their pool we’d go into the sauna – yea, they were well off – dad was a doctor. We’d go in there and end up talking about stroking – then doing it! I’ve touched myself a lot, but I don’t remember stroking my penis until then. I knew I liked it and really like stroking with other guys!

Boy, did that feel good! I vividly remember the tingling sensation emanating from my penis. For the next few weeks, I spent many moments during the day at night stroking my penis and enjoying the sensations. No orgasm or contractions – and definitely no ejaculation – but it sure felt great.

One evening I was taking a bath. I really don’t know why I was in the tub since I usually took showers, but this night I was in the tub. I started playing with my penis and stroking it with the soapy water. The sensations went from a nice tingling to a hell of a lot more intense. I kept stroking and the sensations kept growing. All of a sudden my entire body shuddered and I shot my first load.

Since most of us struggle with periods of self-hatred, bad body images, shame and confusion over sex and pleasure, I recommend having a hot love affair with yourself. Sexual healing begins by learning how to turn yourself on, discovering your sexual fantasies, and giving yourself an abundance of selflove and orgasms. Betty Dodson Gay men are much more sensitive to our body image. We’re in a…

As I learned to keep edging, I discovered a new sensation while bating. I came to find it called gooning and I describe it as a state where my head goes quiet and all I’m aware of is raw, primal sensation. Words no longer have any meaning; instead, my sounds become animalistic – moans, grunts, pants, and howls. Gooning is different from edging in that with edging, I’m mentally focused on my…

What’s Love got to do with it?

I’m in the midst of NRE (new relationship energy!) We’re 3 months into it and at that point where we’ve established mutuality; we’re really enjoying each others’ company and mutual exploration. I’m also happy that I’m seeing that I’ve actually matured a bit and have learned a thing or two that’s helping with all this NRE! NRE is like a drug – actually some research shows that it actually is a…

Many people think that masturbation is a substitute for partnered sex. I see men who feel as if they need to hide their masturbation from their partners. We spend a lifetime hiding masturbation from others – parents, roommates, partners. For me, it’s not an or, it’s an and. Partnered sex is a way of connecting with another; masturbation is a way of connecting with myself. I cherish both. Both…