The Haiku Life

“The one girl insisted on dating Garrett Walker first. Bad idea. Like, the worst. It ended as awfully as expected, and then she met Kendall, he’s the Centurion of the First, the one with the gold arm. I don’t know what happened there, but they stopped dating, and then she got her custom made bike and decided to be her own person and stop pining after boys and go out into the world to hunt monsters. Pretty kickass, if you ask me.”

“I can’t sing. Well, I can, I just don’t. And I can’t, can’t heal anyone. Seriously, I’m terrible. I only can offer people band-aids and send them on Will’s way.” He shook his head. “So, if you sing, our little plan works perfectly.”

“You know I have no idea who any of those people are, right?” Daphne laughed. But she was enjoying getting a Camp Half Blood history lesson. The important stuff. “OK, that sounds better. But I hope she’s finds, like, an actual friend rather than just having a bike.” Bastian was still amazing in her book. Definitely her favorite person she’d met at camp so far. “Love it, although I hope we don’t have to use it.”

“You’re seeing the remnants of a generation of very powerful demigods.” He explained with a little shrug. “I mean, Percy and Annabeth, pretty much leaders of this camp and twice saviors of the world. Will and Nico, light and straight-from-Hades dark. Leo and actual goddess Calypso. Blond Superman, my uncle Jason, and Piper McLean, Aphrodite rebel. Laurel Callidora and her custom made bike, because that was some love. Oh, Q and his Roman Centurion. Honestly, the ships have been gold lately, but who knows now.”

“Awww, Daphne. Come on. Unless you’re from Cabin Ten, no one is born being good at romance or dating. We learn. I put my foot on my mouth so. many. times around Jenna it’s painful to remember. You’ll be fine, and if you don’t and this Bobby ends up being a dummy, I’ll compose the best heartbreak song for you so you can drown your sorrows in karaoke.”

“And Charlie and Akantha.” Daphne reminded him, grinning as she was starting to pick up on the uptake. “ Wait a second, the one girl just got her bike? That doesn’t seem fair.”  She sighed as she listen to Bastian’s words, knowing that he was right. But it still didn’t make her any more confident. “You write songs too? Jeez, what can’t you do?” She sighed, but grinned. She really liked Bastian, he was a good friend. “I’m actually a pretty good singer too, so that would work.” 

“Well, duh, but I also don’t lie, like, at all, so it is true.” And he grinned at her. 

“It’s not so much because I’m in a relationship as in because I’ve been here for years and I’ve seen pleeeeenty of couples get together. I had to endure Nico and Will’s mutual pining for each other, for example, until they decided to stop being dumb and act on it, and look at them now: a demigod power couple ready to take on the world.” But those months of pining had been annoying, and that was coming from him. “I’m not saying it’s easy, anyway. I’m saying you have a standing chance, if you ever came to like this guy. That’s it.”

“OK, there seems to be a lot of power couples here.” Daphne pointed out, raising an eyebrow. “I’m just saying, if there are so many how can they all be iconic?” She sighed crossing her arms as Bastian spoke what she knew to be true. Daphne wasn’t great at emotions that weren’t entirely positive. Uncertainly and doubt flew way over her head. Unfortunately, those where two major emotions that came with starting new relationships, or so she was told. “Yeah, I hope so…” She sighed, kicking at the rocks at her feet. “I’m not good at this stuff.” Daphne explained, sheepishly.

“It does get awkward sometimes.” He agreed. At least no one had tried to date their own sibling, at least that Sebastian knew of, because talk about gross.

“So what?” He stared at her. “Daphne, you are really cute. You’re funny, and charming, and on top of that you’re a strong, confident cheerleader. Any boy, or girl if you swing that way too, the gods know I don’t judge, would be lucky to catch your interest. We’ll see if this Bobby guy realizes that.”

“Stop….you’re just saying that because I’m your friend.” Daphne blushed and although she did ‘swing that way too’, she’d never actually had a real relationship before…she’d never even been kissed. “And you’re already in a relationship, so it must seem easy for you.”

“I’m personally partial to Senna, it’s shorter and to the point, but Jenna doesn’t understand portmanteau ship names, so it’s kind of a lost battle.” 

“And Percy and Annabeth are that power couple, you know? You save the world a bunch of times together, you stay together. And some people here are like that, but mostly… it’s like high school. Not to mention the dating pool isn’t really that big, so there are plenty of summer flings along with all the established couples. I mean, Garrett Walker used to say his mom, Aphrodite, was a-” He lowered his voice. “-bitch. His words, not mine, milady.” Just in case the gods were eavesdropping on their conversation. “So it makes sense most of the older campers get all couple-y eventually. We’ll see where Dabby goes. Or is it Bopne?”

“That’s fair….ooh, I bet it gets awkward sometimes…” Daphne winced, realizing that the same group of kids literally were around each other all. the. time. There had to be some seriously hormone fueled moments here and there…Daphne looked up into the sky, half expecting all hell to break lose as Bastian called a major goddess a bitch. She may have been new, but she knew that was a serious no no. “Neither of those are actual words.” Daphne pointed out, laughing ‘Bophne’. “And we’ve talked once…twice. And yes, he’s seriously cute but I’m sure he has lots of people falling all over him.”

“Ow! Yes, abridged. There was too much unnecessary drama in the middle not even I am proud of, and I do have a flair for the dramatic.”

“It is, isn’t it?” He let out a dreamy sigh. He’d been lucky with Jenna, despite the drama he really didn’t want to talk about. “I’d like to think Jenna and I are endgame, kinda like Percabeth.” A pause. “Those are Percy and Annabeth, you didn’t meet them but those two…”

“Another cute couple?” Daphne guessed. “Sure, but they’ve got nothing in Jenastian.” She teased. “I feel like I see a lot of couples around here though…”

“Giiiiirl, that’s one long story.” He sighed and then laughed.

“So, abridged version… I’d been having this not puppy but actual giant Irish Wolfhound of a crush on Jenna ever since I met her, and I started hanging out with her as much as I could and we grew really close, and there was some miscommunication drama in the middle that I’ll spare you of, but in the end she started growing feelings for me and I became the literal happiest camper when I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend and she said yes.”

“Abridged? Come on, don’t leave out all the good stuff!” Daphne grinned, hitting him lightly in the stomach. But she couldn’t help but smile as he told the story, mainly because he couldn’t keep the smile from his own lips. Sebastian really loved this girl. “Wow, that’s so romantic.” She sighed, dreamily.

“Just some guy. Okay.”

“I’ll remember this conversation in the future, in case he stops being just some guy.”

“You do that.” Daphne laughed, shrugging her shoulders. She’d never had a real boyfriend before, why would anything change now? “How did you and Jenna get together?”

“Daphne…. am I witnessing a teeny tiny little crush on this Roman boy here?”

Daphne laughed, shaking her head. “I was just describing the guy.” She insisted, shrugging her shoulders. “I mean, he’s handsome and he totally caught me when I fell from the rock wall that one time, but he’s just….some guy.”

“Akantha. Yes. That’s… kind of a long story, because Akantha apparently used to have a crush on me??? And then transferred it to Jerktavian when he came back from the dead, and the Romans pretty much wanted to kill her and Penny and…  Too long, don’t read, Charlie and Akantha are super cute and it makes me happy they’re together.” He’d lose Daphne’s attention if he got into all the details surrounding that story.

“Bobby… Walsh. Can’t say I do.” Camp Jupiter was bigger than Camp Half Blood, after all. “But I probably will, considering Jenna is now in New Rome. Do you know his cohort? I can ask around, as in, I can ask Nico’s sister. She’s the new Praetor.”

“That’s….a lot of information.” Daphne admitted, nodding along as she tried to keep up. “But you’re right, they are cute together. I totally ship it.” She laughed. “I have no idea. But he’s really tall, with dark hair and blue eyes.” Daphne explained, a small smile turning up the corners of her lips.

We’re remaking that movie!

Who’s in?

“Some of them are, that’s true.”

“But some of them did want to kill us, back when we battled Gaia. I mean, it was the anaemic loser’s fault, and apparently he’d been influenced from the shadows by the Triumviasseholes, according to my dad, but still. Quite the battle. But if you’re gonna be hanging with Romans now, try to meet Charlie Montgomery: sweetest girl ever, seriously. Harley levels of Camp mascot.”

“Charlie Montgomery…I think I know her? She’s dating that blonde girl. Daughter of Nemesis. I see them hanging around a lot.” Daphne hummed, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “I’ve really only met one…Bobby Walsh? Do you know him?”

“Uhm, rude? My dad made that film.”

“Though it’s a bit outdated now. It doesn’t even include Kronos, leave alone the Romans, or Lester, or, you know, anything important.”

“I know about one of those things.” Daphne admitted, nodding sagely. “I ran into some Romans earlier. They’re nice!”

“I was about to send you back to the Big House to watch the orientation film. Again.”

“Noon not again! Bring on the monsters instead.”

“That, my dear Daphne, is what friends are for.” He smiled fondly at her. “Besides, I know being a half blood it’s scary and can get us killed in very nasty ways when we least expect it, but we deserve nice things too.”

“Killed? Nobody said anything about being killed.” Daphne gasped, her eyes wide. She grinned a second later, shooting Bastian a wink. “Just kidding. I’m not that new.”

“We’ll get them. I mean, boys and girls.”

“Some of the girls here can literally carry their weight and more. I mean, have you seen Teddy, for example? She has some guns there. And the Hunters? Those girls are something, even if they haven’t stopped by in years. This can be our experimental, gender neutral, mixed cheer team.”

“Great! I’ll work on Teddy, I think she thinks I’m funny.” Daphne volunteered, her eyes narrowing as she tried to think this plan through. “Oh hey?” Daphne reached up to touch Bastian’s shoulder, giving it a friendly squeeze. “Thanks for helping me find my fire again.”