tulip saw bts⁷

.・゜-: ✧ :-

six months into loving namjoon, it was mornings that basically became your most favorite part.

of course, the exclusive events, studio nights, and the lavish dinners were absolutely delightful—especially with him always close at your side. his big palm would always be laying on the small of your back while his lengthy body towered over you like your own personal security guard.

but it was more than just that, more beyond the attention that came with being seen besides him.

it was just mornings like this—soft, white, and expensive sheets tangled around your legs, the faint warm light of the early morning stretching through the floor to ceilings windows of namjoon's large bedroom.

the city of los angeles would still remain quiet beneath you, but you two would already be warm and half awake besides each other.

his big, beefy arm would be wrapped around your waist, holding you against his chest like even in his sleep, the last thing he would ever do would be letting you drift too far away.

you would smile every time—brain still fuzzy with sleepiness and eyes closed when you feel his lips brush lazily against the back of your head, pulling you in closer when he first woke.

one kiss, then another, then another. it was slow and sleepy, like kissing you was all his slumberous brain knew. "morning baby," he murmurs, voice always deep and rough with sleep.

and god, his nicknames still got you, even after six months. you tilt your head back slightly against him, smiling softly. "you're awake?"

the quietest hum leaves him, vibrating against your back softly. "been awake," he muttered against you. "just like holding you."

your heart melted instantly, skin practically melting under his warm touch. it could be deemed as embarrassing, honestly—the way this man—your man, could still ruin you with one sentence.

his large hands slid slowly along your thighs and up to your stomach, beneath the oversized shirt you stole from him months ago and never gave back.

namjoon was addicted to touching you in a way that drove you absolutely over the moon—it was like he had to be touching you at all times, no matter where it was. but when you two were alone, it was inexplicably different, like his fingertips were devoted to memorizing every inch of your skin.

"you have work today?" he asks quietly against your hair.

you sigh dramatically. "unfortunately."

he's silent for maybe two seconds. "call out."

you laugh immediately. "there it is."

his grip tightens around your waist slightly before he's burying his face in your neck, shooting warmth down your spine. "i'm serious, baby."

"you're always serious, joonie."

"because i like you here," he muttered, placing the softest kiss along your neck. "need you here."

if you weren't laying down, your knees would've absolutely buckled and failed on you. you turned slightly in his arms so you could look at him properly, heart melting at the sight of his face.

his hair was slightly messy, eyes slightly low from the early morning, skin and broad muscles effortlessly glistening in the low light. still unfairly handsome as always, still already looking composed first thing in the morning. his eyes took you in slowly, dimples growing quickly at the sight of your face.

"you realize i have responsibilities right?" you murmured.

a small smirk touches his mouth. "you're with a man who can buy a car before breakfast," he replied calmly. "i think we'll survived one missed shift, baby."

your cheeks warmed instantly at those words. namjoon had said things like that so casually now, like taking care of you was only the most natural thing in the world.

you shook your head softly. "you're ridiculous."

"no," he murmured, leaning in closer until his forehead rested against yours. "i'm in love with you."

those words had come so easily between you two now. it was so natural and constant, it almost felt like breathing. you smiled widely before kissing him softly. "i'm in love with you too, joonie."

and the way namjoon looked at you after that, even after all these months, still made your stomach do flips. his gaze was still as intense as ever, like he still couldn't believe you were real. however, it wasn't much different for you—your brain sometimes malfunctioning at the fact that he was really yours.

a few minutes later, you're sitting on the kitchen counter wrapped in one of his hoodies while he cooks breakfast in sinful gray sweats and a black t-shirt.

it was almost more attractive than the suits, making your lips tug between your teeth as you shamelessly eyed him from behind.

the kitchen smelled like coffee and butter, low music playing softly though the large house while bright, morning sunlight poured across the marble floors and countertops.

namjoon moves through the kitchen confidently, one hand holding a pan while the other absentmindedly reached for your thigh whenever he walked past you. because again, he always had to be touching you.

"you know, doll," he says casually while plating your food, "you basically live here already."

your eyes lifted immediately. "you say that every week."

"because every week you leave more stuff in my house."

you laugh softly. "well, maybe i'm marking territory."

he lets out a real laugh, low but warm, and you can practically hear the dimples in his tone. "baby," he murmurs, setting the plate down before stepping between your legs, "if you move in, this stops being just my house real quick."

his big hand comfortably settled on your thigh again, like it was the only place it belonged. you looked at him for a second that felt too long, taking in the softness in his eyes and the certainty he carried quietly in his calm expression.

and suddenly, you were able to picture forever with him like it was the easiest thing in the world.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

eight months later, you find out about it on a random tuesday night.

namjoon was sitting at the kitchen island with his laptop open, reading over contracts while you stand beside him, stealing pieces of fruit from the plate you cut for him ten minutes ago.

his reading glasses were on again—which still unfortunately did something unexplainable to you. he sat there casually, chin rested into his palm while his long fingers rested over his mouth like he was deep in thought. the sight made your thighs shift helplessly.

"you know," you said thoughtfully, like you were trying to find the right words while you popped a strawberry into your mouth. "you've become weirdly... domesticated."

a small smirk pulls at his mouth, but he doesn't look up from the screen. "and you've become annoying."

you gasped jokingly. "wow."

"mhm," he responded lowly. he finally glanced to look up at you, once hand sliding naturally to your hip when you stepped closer and in between his knees. he was always touching you, always pulling you in like he needed more.

then, he closed his laptop in a way that made your eyes narrow. "that was suspicious," you say.

a quiet laugh leaves him. "you're free in two weeks, right?"

you shrugged slightly. "depends... why?"

his hand slid along your thigh slowly. "because i'm taking you somewhere."

your stomach flipped instantly, pink heat immediately coming up to your cheeks. "where?"

"the maldives," he replied simply.

you blinked at him, once, then twice. "...what?"

he looked completely calm saying it too, like he hadn't just casually announced a vacation that most people could only dream of and had to spend years saving for. "we leave next friday."

you stared at him in complete disbelief. "you're joking."

"i don't joke about beaches with crystal clear water, doll."

his calm tone made you laugh immediately. "joon," you started, still half laughing, "i can't just go to the maldives next friday."

"why not?" he asked, out of pure genuinity, tilting his head slightly.

"i have work, silly."

his expression changed instantly, nothing but confusion etched on his face. "okay," he said slowly. "quit."

you practically choke on your own breath. "you cannot be serious."

"i'm very serious." he pulled you closer by the waist until you were fully standing between his legs, his hands resting comfortably on your hips.

"they never approve my time off," you muttered quietly.

his jaw tightened slightly with anger—not at you, of course—but anger for you. anger towards your stupid job that made you work too hard and too much for his liking. "you've been stressed for weeks," he says. "i barely see you awake anymore, baby."

"it's just work, joonie," you pouted.

"no," he corrected calmly. "it's people making your life way harder than it needs to be."

your heart twisted violently at the way he said it like it personally offended him that you were overwhelmed with work. you looked down briefly. "i just don't want to depend on you for everything."

immediately, his hands tightened slightly at your waist again. his fingers weren't harsh, they never were. they grounded you, holding you against him and the moment.

"baby," he murmured softly, making your gaze find his again. "when have i ever made you feel like you couldn't?"

your chest tightened. because not once had namjoon ever made you feel that way.

his thumb brushed slowly along your hip beneath the fabric of your shorts. "i don't even want another problem touching that mind of yours if i can help it," he said quietly. "and i can."

god. you swallowed hard, knees growing weak.

"i love taking care of you, baby."

"i know," you whispered, eyes not leaving his.

his gaze softened even more. "then let me."

silence filled the kitchen, the air hitting you soft. the city lights were glowing through the massive windows behind him while his hand rested steadily against your waist like he already knew exactly where you belonged.

which was with him of course, being taken of and loved properly.

"you really mean that?" you asked quietly.

"baby," he murmured. "i'd give you every single thing you ever needed before i let you be somewhere that makes you miserable."

those words were what broke something inside you. it wasn't the money or the vacation or the luxury of it all—it was the pure sincerity. it was the fact that this powerful, yet composed man loved you so much that he wanted to remove stress from your life entirely.

tears began to burn at your ears unexpectedly, causing you to laugh softly in embarrassment.

namjoon's expression only softened further. "hey," he murmured softly, pulling you against his chest and enveloping you into his big arms before a single tear could escape. "what happened?"

you shook your head against him, smiling. "you just love me a lot."

a quiet laugh leaves him, buzzing low and warm against you. "yeah," he agrees softly in your hair. "that's been your problem from the beginning."

you laugh again, wrapping your arms around his neck. you sighed softly, like you still couldn't believe this was your reality. "...okay," you said softly.

he stilled slightly. "okay what?"

you pulled back enough to look at him properly, his eyes fixing onto yours immediately. "i'll quit, joonie."

the look on his face after those three words escaped your lips had tugged at your heartstrings. his expression became immediately relieved, like you finally quitting your terrible job had instantly settled him more than it did you.

his hand slides up your back slowly before he kisses your forehead. "good," he murmured softly. "now i can take care of you properly."

.・゜-: ✧ :-

the maldives didn't even feel real.

from the second you and namjoon land, everything was too beautiful for your brain to register that this was the same earth you lived on.

the private plane ride there alone was already enough to leave you speechless. cream leather seats, a bottle of champagne waiting for you to board, and a flight attendant greeting him by his last name.

and namjoon? well, he was completely unfazed by any of it, of course.

meanwhile, you stood there, one of his large hoodies pooling around you while you stared around at the cabin like you had just accidentally walked into a dream.

he notices immediately, like he always did. "everything alright, baby?" he asked softly, amusement pulling slightly in his tone.

you turned, only being able to look at him in disbelief. "you own this kind of life and never warned me?"

a small smirk touched his mouth before he placed a large hand on your lower back, guiding you into one of the spacious seats. "would've scared you off too early, doll."

but from there, it only got worse, because the villa he booked was absolutely insane—sitting above crystal clear water that was so blue it almost hurt to look at. you gasped in genuine awe, clearly taken aback from the beauty, making a smile pull at namjoon's lips.

the wooden walkway stretched across the ocean itself, leading to a large and lavish private room shielded by white linen curtains that drifted lightly in the wind. the bedroom door opened directly to the water, like the ocean belonged to the two of you and no one else.

when you first walked inside after namjoon held the door open for you, you were completely at a loss of words. he just simply watched behind you quietly with his hands in his pockets, looking more satisfied by your reaction than the place itself.

"you like it?" he asked casually.

you turned to face him slowly. "this place cost more than my entire existence."

a low laugh leaves him again, the one that you loved so dearly. the one that pulled at the core of your heart and made your knees weaken a little bit. then, he stepped toward you slowly until his hands settled your waist. "you don't have to think about things like that anymore, baby," he murmured.

that sentence landed deep into your chest, etching their way into every vein of your heart. because you knew that he meant every word he said.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

the trip itself became the most heavenly blur of warmth and intimacy. but more than anything, it made you two completely addicted to each other.

swimming together in the ocean until sunset and him pulling you closer onto his lap. secluded dinners while the waves crashed softly beneath you. and of course, his sunglasses hiding the way he watched you constantly in your tiny bikinis that drove him absolutely insane.

you and him spent afternoons tangled together on long chairs beneath the sun, his hand resting lazily beneath against your thigh while you dozed off on his chest.

and every time you laughed and smiled at him, he looked at you like he still couldn't believe you were real.

being together, just the two of you for days straight, alone in the middle of the blue ocean with no distractions, no schedules, no interruptions—had let the both of you see every version of each other.

you see just exactly how gentle namjoon truly is beneath all of his confidence and composure. the way he brushes your wet hair out of your face after swimming, and when he automatically reaches for your hand every time you stepped outside of the room, like separation could never be possible between you anymore.

but namjoon seems to only have fallen even harder.

you being in his life felt nothing less than like nature. it felt utterly effortless, like it was the only thing that was destined between you two, and it almost scared him in a way.

because you had already turned his normal, cold, and polished daily routine into something warm and exciting without even trying. but now, you were here, laughing barefoot through the villa with one of his shirts hung over your wet, cheeky bikini that was only meant for his eyes.

you, curled up against his chest patiently while he bitterly answered his one and only work call—(he made sure they wouldn't waste his precious alone time with you for the rest of the trip again)—tracing patterns absently against his arm while he talked, almost failing to sound stern because you made him so so soft.

you fell asleep on him every night like you trusted him with your whole heart, and while you definitely could—that trust absolutely ruined him in a way that made the core of his heart ache.

but for some reason, the first night there was different.

by the time you had returned to the villa after swimming and dinner, the sun had already disappeared completely, which had left the sky a dark blue outside the large windows.

the day felt warm against your skin, everything smelling like saltwater, sunscreen, and namjoon.

you were barefoot, skin still damp beneath one of his loose white buttons-up that you threw on after showering. and the second you walked back into the bedroom, his eyes lifted from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed, stopping on you immediately.

and with his gaze the room seem to become smaller, the atmosphere becoming hotter and thick around you. by this time, the beach had settled down to windy night—so it definitely wasn't the weather.

he leaned back slightly against the bed, gaze moving slowly over your bare legs, to your hardened nipples beneath his shirt. his eyes took in your damp hair, gazing over your freshly sun kissed skin. he sat there casually in a white t-shirt and a vicious pair of tom ford boxers that did absolutely nothing to hide his growing bulge.

namjoon's intense gaze still did nothing but affect you in every way possible, making your steps slow. your teeth tugged at your bottom lip in anticipation you couldn't even hide anymore. "what?" you asked, not even fighting the smile on your lips.

the lowest laugh left him, and you swear you could the vibration of his voice through your core. "c'mere."

your stomach instantly did flips, nothing but butterflies filling your entire body as you walked toward him slowly. the second you're close enough, his hands are already sliding along your thighs, pulling you right in between his thick legs.

your hands automatically came to his thighs to steady yourself, nails lightly tracing against his skin in a way that almost ruined namjoon's calm composure. his head tipped back slightly to look at you properly, like he had to take his time with simply admiring you.

"you trying to kill me walking around like this?" he asked lowly, his thumbs pressing slightly against your inner thighs.

you tried to ignore the fact that your anticipation was now smearing on your legs, laughing softly whole you brushed through his slightly messy hair. "you're dramatic."

"no," he replies calmly while his eyes dragged slowly across your face once again. "you're just so beautiful."

with that, he shut you up immediately, large hands sliding higher along your thighs beneath his shirt. his large hands coating your skin with his warmth in a way that seemed obsessive enough to make your brain split in half. "and sexy," he grumbles lowly, almost like a growl.

and the way he touched you now, after eight months of being together just felt different. his hands were driven by familiarity, like he knew your body just as well as he knew his own. like he knew exactly what drove you crazy.

namjoon pulled you closer, long fingers wrapped firmly around your thighs. then, he leaned his head down, brushing his plump lips slowly against the inside of your thigh. you almost moaned, the contact sending electrifying shivers throughout your body.

"fuck," he murmured quietly against your skin, like it was to himself. "do you know what you do to me?"

the words hit you in the head, the room starting to feel heavy around you with the distant sound of waves crashing softly outside.

his large palms trailed further up your thighs, fingers finding their way to cup your inner most thigh. you gasped, shivering under his warm touch.

the most devious chuckle left his lips before he clicked his tongue. "tsk tsk, naughty girl," he mumbled lowly, one large thumb coming to rest on top of your clit. "no panties for daddy tonight?"

you shook your head, fighting a moan with a bite of your bottom lip. his thumb pressed harder before rubbing it back and forth painfully slow. your legs squirmed between his, wetness sopping miserably between your folds. "wanted it to be easier for you, daddy."

"mm," he hummed slowly in approval, two large fingers moving so lightly up and down your soaked folds. "just landed today and you're already a problem, hm?"

you could only nod your head desperately before one of his fingers slid in between your folds, catching a glimpse of namjoon's low eyes clouded with nothing but darkness and hunger, tongue treading over his lips slowly as he took in the sight of you.

his long finger dragged slowly back up to your clit, lightly pinching it between his thumb and index finger, making a moan come out of you. "joonie, please..." you whispered, one hand tangled in his hair.

you felt his free hand slither to the back of your thigh and finding their way immediately to your ass cheek, slowly massaging it in his large palm. "hmm...?" he hummed lowly, acting like he didn't hear you, like he couldn't see you squirming underneath his touch. he sat two warm fingers patiently above your folds like he owned time.

"please..." you whimpered. "want you to touch me, daddy."

"mm," he hummed again, sliding one thick finger in between your folds, slipping through your arousal. "that's my good girl," he muttered, placing a thick kiss against your thighs once more as he inserted a finger inside your aching hole.

you moaned out, tiling your head back as you felt butterflies erupt in your stomach with pleasure. his thick finger pushed further into your pussy, your walls clenching around him and sucking him in immediately. your slick shamelessly coated him as he entered another finger inside, thrusting in and out of you slowly.

namjoon's lips found your thighs once again, littering wet open mouthed kisses along your thigh before making their way just above your pussy. his thumb massaged your clit in leisure circles while his fingers stretched you out relentlessly.

you gripped onto his broad shoulders to support yourself, knees becoming flimsy by the second. "hope you know," he grumbled lowly against your skin, "'m not planning on being gentle with you, tonight, doll."

as if his fingers weren't enough, his words ignited your entire body like a match to a flame. you simply couldn't bring yourself to respond, your manicured nails digging deeper into his shoulders as your stomach twisted into a familiar pressure.

but namjoon soon pulled away, the warmth of his fingers leaving your pussy with nothing but the cold night air. you whined out in confusion, desperate eyes peering up at him.

one large hand slithered to your ass slowly while his tongue treaded across his lips, low gaze taking you in hungrily. the other palm found your jaw, pulling you down and finally, crashing your lips against his. "need you to come in daddy's mouth, pretty girl," he murmured against your lips.

you nodded eagerly as your mouths moved against one another messily, like kissing each other was the equivalent of oxygen. namjoon's lips took yours greedily in with his—but slowly, even sucking on your bottom lip like he needed to preserve every inch of you. his hand was still on your jaw, slightly tilting your head in a way that allowed him to kiss you deeper.

with your lips on his, your manicured nails found themselves around the hem of namjoon's boxers, one hand slowly palming against his painfully strained bulge.

he grunted lowly at your touch, his head tilting back slightly. his low eyes whirled dark with desire, patiently awaiting your next move. his lips began sucking and licking at the skin on your neck as your dragged your nails underneath his shirt and up his abs.

"doll," he murmured, one large hand placing a light smack! against your ass. "what happens when daddy gets impatient with you, hm?"

you gasped at the contact, trying to hide the thrill seeping through your core. you fake pouted, fingers tugging at the edge of his shirt before pulling it up and tossing it somewhere in the room.

your hands trailed back down his abs before settling at the hem of his boxers and pulling them down. they pooled around his ankles, his long fat cock springing free in front of you.

even after eight months of being together—after eight months of being filled to the brim with his thick cock almost every night—it still somehow surprised you every time.

you got down on your knees immediately, a sight that made namjoon's tip leak with desperate precum. your hands wrapped around the wide base, eyes peering up innocently at him as you stroked it slowly.

namjoon moaned out lowly, his tongue licking over his lips with thirst. one large hand finding its way into your hair before twisting it into a makeshift ponytail, holding onto it loosely. you felt your legs weaken at the possessive action, your nose nearly being met with his raging tip.

you extended your tongue out, taking your time with exploring the base of his cock before making your way down to his tip, licking at the salty precum. you found your lips wrapping around his thick cock, a guttural curse emitting from namjoon's throat.

your mouth explored his cock freely, his hand wrapped gently in your hair as you bobbed your throat up and down his veiny length. "good fucking girl," he murmured as you sucked him in.

soon enough, he began to guide you further up his base, making you sputter ever so slightly before quickly accommodating. one of your hands pumped the rest of his length while the other rested on his sculpted leg for your stability. you let his large hand lead your mouth back and forth across his thick length deliberately, pushing him into your a few inches deeper.

salty tears pricked at your eyes as you hollowed your cheeks around him, nails now leaving white trails that would soon turn red into his thighs. his length took up every fucking inch of your mouth and throat and you felt your breathing begin to stutter.

"shh, breathe, baby girl," he cooed darkly, continuing to guide you along his length while one hand settled lightly at your jaw. "you look so pretty choking on daddy's dick."

your arousal was pitifully coating the floor beneath you in slick, shifting your thighs in a way namjoon immediately. he was incredibly close, but namjoon wanted to save every drop of his seed to paint your walls entirely white.

with a sharp hiss, namjoon guided you off his cock by your hair. the warmth of his length left your mouth with a plop! sound, and immediately your chest was heaving dramatically for air.

"gonna fill your little pussy full with daddy's cum, baby," namjoon grumbled breathlessly, pulling you off the ground and in between his legs again. "hm? how does that sound, pretty girl?"

you nodded quickly. "need it, daddy." a hungry smirk pulled at his lips before he pulled you into another soft kiss.

"good," he praised lowly. both of his large palms settled on your ass before you were abruptly in the air with your legs around his waist. his lips found yours again as he walked you towards the other side of the bed, both hands holding you tightly against him.

you melted against him, making small noises that absolutely ruined him as he kissed you roughly. he tossed you softly onto the bed, a thick strand of saliva stringing between you before your head lightly met the pillow.

namjoon crawled on top of you, his eyes clouded with darkness as he took in the sight of you below him, peering up and him innocently and waiting for his next move. it drove him absolutely fucking insane. you were a complete dream to namjoon, nearly sweeping the air from his lungs at the mere vision of you.

with one hand by your head and the other trailing down your neck lightly before cupping your boob, he enveloped your lips between his once more. soon, his lips made their way along your jaw. “look at you…” he cooed lowly, his breath shooting down your neck sharply. “all the way out here with me.”

his finger hooked along the hem of your shirt before dragging it off slowly, his lips automatically finding their way your neck, biting and sucking on your sensitive skin until he mouth was wrapped properly around your tit.

you moaned out in pleasure, immediately melting under the feeling of his warm and wet tongue dancing around your nipples, lips sucking your areola between his teeth lightly. his large hands traveled up and down your body, exploring your skin like already hadn't done it a million times by now.

his mouth left your boobs and trailed lower, your nipples immediately hardening at the loss of warmth. he placed slow kisses all along your waist and down your stomach until his lips settled above your pussy, blowing a soft puff of air against it, the warmth of his breath sending electricity up your spine.

your thighs instinctively went to clamp shut, but namjoon's large hands stopped them too quickly, pushing your legs even further apart. his thumbs pressed into your inner thigh possessively as his two fingers found your pussy lips again, spreading them apart before he placed a sloppy kiss against your dripping folds.

"fuck," he murmured, practically making out with your pussy as his fingers curled their way back inside your hole. you felt the deep vibration of his voice echoing through your core as his thumb swiped from your entrance and up to your clit. "pussy taste so fuckin' sweet, baby girl."

"nghh—daddy—" you cried out, thighs flexing underneath the burning pleasure. his plump lips fully enclosed around your entire pussy, sucking your folds into his mouth with time and the utmost greed. his tongue dived into your hole, swirling along your velvety walls while your fingers curled desperately into his hair.

your mind was nearly emptied out, vacant with nothing but the obscene noises of namjoon lapping hungrily against your wet pussy and the tightest feeling in your core. you squirmed in immense overstimulation, attempting to arch your back before his free hand found your waist and quickly pinned your hips back down to the mattress.

"stay still for daddy, baby," he grumbled lowly as he took the quickest breath for air, fingers continuing to thrust inside of you. with a flat tongue, he licked the slowest stripe up your pussy before eating at you once more, nose burying in your clit.

you cried out loudly, overwhelming heat and pleasure twisting in stomach. your orgasm reached you soon enough, legs shaking around namjoon's head. your release spilled into his mouth and he quickly lapped every last drop up, dragging his tongue softly along your folds as you came down from your high.

"such a good girl, baby," he praised lowly against your drenched pussy while his large hands rubbed the side of your thighs soothingly.

namjoon placed a lewd, open-mouthed kiss on top of your clit before coming up and meeting your eye level. you reached up slightly, pulling him into a kiss first, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in. you tasted yourself on his lips as your mouths melted together.

namjoon's thumb continued to rub your clit slowly as he rubbed his painfully hard cock along your sodden folds, kissing you deeply while his tongue mapped your mouth ravenously. you arched ever so slightly, instinctively grinding against him with desperation.

"so needy aren't you, doll," he muttered against your lips with one hand wrapped around his cock, dragging it purposely slow along your pussy. he captured your lips in with his once more, the other hand coming up to your jaw. "tell daddy what you want first."

"i want you, daddy," you said breathlessly, absentmindedly bucking up your hips again with your patience running thin.

"mhm," he replied simply, taking the hand off his cock to pin your hips back down as he tugged your bottom lip gently with his teeth. his thumb circled your clit again. "and what else, doll?"

"please—! i want you to fuck me, daddy. to ruin me," you whined quietly, pussy dripping with anticipation.

"mm," he hummed lowly as he softly kissed your jaw possessively, his fat tip now sliding between your folds, thumb applying more pressure to your aching clit. "don't you worry, my sweet girl," he cooed.

he began to push his thick veiny cock further between your folds and directly into your sopping wet core. you cried out immediately, your walls tightly adjusting around just his wide tip as pleasure struck your entire body.

namjoon placed both of his beefy arms around you as he pushed himself further inside of you, earning staggered and breathless sounds from you that only made his cock leak more. "fuck," he groaned out. "you're so fucking tight, baby."

your walls stretched around him almost painfully as he filled you with every inch of his length slowly, tears pricking at your eyes once more from the grueling stretch. it wasn't long before he was in and out of you at a reasonable pace, thrusts becoming gradually harder by the second.

"such a good girl, taking daddy so well," he grunted breathlessly, every thrust expanding your tight, velvety walls, making your hole outline the shape of his thick cock.

your hands found their way onto his shoulders, nails digging and clawing into his muscular, toned back that blocked your entire vision from seeing anything else in the room. he plunged deeper inside of you, chest pressing against yours as he caged you around him, leaving no space left between you.

namjoon took his cock all the way out before slamming it back in. you cried out, legs shaking and your mind blanking to a pure state of euphoria as his cock dragged roughly along your walls, his bulky tip hitting the back of your walls relentlessly, curving perfectly right into your g-spot.

his big hands gripped onto your hips like there was nothing else he was meant to hold, drilling his cock into the deepest part of your walls like there was still more for him to break through.

he buried his nose into your neck, breathing in your scent hungrily and wrapping you in his warmth as he nonstop pounded his cock into you. one large hand curled around your leg, lifting it up and ramming his tip repeatedly against the deepest, hottest part of your hole. he lightly nipped the soft skin on your neck with his teeth.

"gonna fill this pussy all the way up, baby," he grunted down your ear, licking at the skin he had just bit. "gonna ruin you...my perfect little girl."

you cried out loudly, tiny and salty beads of water brimming at your waterline from pleasure and overstimulation. the warmth of his breath and the possessive tone of his words sent sparks down your stomach and straight to your core, making your pussy clench tightly around him.

"fuck," he cursed lowly, smacking his hips into yours with the most lewd slapping noise echoing throughout the room. "right where you fucking belong, baby. you were always gonna end up with me, weren't you?"

you nodded rapidly, pussy squelching miserably at his words. "yes—'m all yours, daddy," you blabbed almost dumbly, gasping for air while namjoon worked every inch of his cock inside of you.

he hummed in approval before kissing you, lips melting into each other with raw hunger. "yeah, that's right, baby," he mumbled against your lips, rutting his cock into you. "fuck, gonna put a fucking ring on this finger one day, baby."

you moaned loudly in response, eyes rolling back and head above the clouds at his cock dragging along your walls and at the thought of being his wife, being his forever. "mmph—yes, yes! want it so so bad, daddy," you whimpered, body moving back and forth on the bed as you took in each thrust.

all of a sudden namjoon was flipping you over, large palms manhandling you to have your face nestled in the soft pillows and your ass in the air. he placed a large smack! onto your ass cheek before slamming his cock into you again—enough to make your hips jerk forward before he snapped them back into place with his rough hands, driving himself inside you.

"yeah?" his voice came low behind you and right in your ear, pressing his chest against your back. "'m gonna make you my fucking wife baby, gonna be mine forever."

"mm, yes, daddy—! please," you cried, his large palms gripping firmly on your ass and smacking it against his cock, shoving his length greedily into your hole. you felt your stomach curving into a heated knot, mind completely lost at the state of bliss he was fucking you into.

"could do this with you forever, and i'd still want more," he grunted lowly, kissing your neck from behind. "can't get enough of you, baby,"

you whined loudly—muffled from the pillows as your body began to tremble beneath namjoon. "cum for daddy, pretty girl," he murmured, licking up your neck with his tongue nastily. "cum on my cock like a good girl."

he plowed his cock slowly into you as you felt your orgasm tear through you like thunder. you screamed his name loudly, tears and drool soaking the pillows as your walls fluttered around him tightly, your juices spilling over his dick.

"gonna fill this pussy up, gonna get you all nice and round for daddy," he growled, hand firm on your hips, thrusting one last time into you before releasing his hot seed inside of you endlessly.

he held your hips against him as he painted your insides with his cum, chasing both of your highs before letting you go. your hips collapsed onto the mattress immediately, chest heaving violently up and down as you felt namjoon's fingers come to press his cum deeper inside you, ensuring you took every last drop.

he placed light kisses on your shoulders before coming down to lay beside you. you rolled onto your back breathlessly to face him, legs now sore and body still shaking.

he smiled immediately once his eyes met yours, quickly wrapping his arms around your figure and pulling you right against him. "you okay, doll?" he asked softly, placing a soft peck on your forehead before coming to your lips. "you did so well, my angel."

you nodded, breathing stabilizing and heart gushing once again. "more than okay, joonie," you smiled, hearing the faint murmur of his heartbeat.

dimples pulled at his cheeks before he captured your lips softly in with his. "good," he whispered against you, his long fingers trailing up your thigh and coming to intertwine with yours.

your eyes never broke apart with his, heart pumping against your chest like it was your first night ever with namjoon all over again. he placed a soft kiss on your hand. "i was done for the second i pulled over for you," he murmured against your fingers.

you laughed softly against his chest, instantly tugging at the strings of his heart. "oh, i was too," you replied, pink tinting your cheeks despite spending eight months of being cuddled up with this man.

namjoon chuckled softly, pulling you even closer against him. "i love you so much, baby," he murmured, placing soft kisses on your face.

"i love you so much too, joonie," you replied, taking his lips slowly in with yours.

the waves of the ocean crashed faintly outside the window, the two of you holding each other closely & lulling each other to sleep with soft giggles and tired kisses.

"you spoil me too much," you whispered faintly, hanging on to the last thread before being taken away by sleep with his warmth completely wrapped around you.

namjoon was the exact same, eyelids getting heavier by the second. but his hand instinctively caressed your cheek—thumb barely moving along your skin. a faint smile touched his mouth before his hand tightened slightly around your legs, pulling you impossibly closer.

"good."

.・゜-: ✧ :-

the rest of the vacation passes like a dream neither of you want to wake up from.

because being alone together like this—away from the noise of the hustling city, away from work—made both you realize how naturally you existed beside each other.

by the time you fly home, you seem to notice little things even more.

the way he kept glancing over at you during the flight like he still hadn't gotten enough of you. like even after spending a week and approximately twenty-three hours away from home—with you and only you—he was still yearning for more time with you.

and the way he said "we're home," automatically when he pulled the both of you into his endless driveway.

home.

the word sunk like an anchor into your chest. because somehow, his house already felt like yours too.

and at this point, you basically lived there anyway. you'd spend over half of your weeks at namjoon's, practically abandoning your own apartment. your skincare lined one side of his bathroom counter and your clothes filled empty drawers in his walk-in closet.

candles sitting next to his heavy duty speakers and equipment. hair clips and lip gloss scattered across countertops.

there were tiny pieces of you in namjoon's house everywhere, he loved every single one of them. in fact, he couldn't get enough.

even if he pretended to complain sometimes.

"baby," he calls out softly one night, stepping over your heels forgotten in the hallway. "one more month of this and i'm charging you rent."

you laugh from the couch. "you're rich, joonie. be serious."

"i am serious," he says calmly, walking over before dropping onto the couch beside you. immediately his large palms are on you, pulling you straight into his lap.

you melted into his warmth naturally while his arms wrapped around your waist. his chin rested lightly against your shoulder, comforting silence filling the air as your heartbeats synced together.

"you should just move in," namjoon says finally.

your heart skipped a beat, red flushing your cheeks instantly. he said it so simply, but you felt everything shift immediately. you turned slightly in his arms. "...you're asking me?"

"i thought i've been asking for months," he replies genuinely.

because truly, he really has. every "stay another night." every drawer he cleared out for your stuff. every toothbrush he replaced before you could even ask.

even so, he watched you carefully now, like you answer mattered to him more than anything else.

"you're sure?" you asked quietly.

his expression changed, softening right away. "baby," he murmured, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "you've made this place feel more like home in eight months than it has in years."

"and i love waking up next to you," he added softly, eyes boring into you in a way that made your chest ache. "i love taking care of you."

his large hands slide slowly along your waist. "and honestly?" he muttered quietly. "i'm tired of pretending you don't belong here."

the way he says it so naturally does it for you completely. like loving you was the easiest thing he's ever done.

you smile softly. it's small at first, before it naturally stretches wider at the thought of never having to leave him to go home, because home would be with him. "...okay."

he stills slightly, hands still firm on your waist. "yeah?"

you nodded. "i'll move in, joonie."

the wide smile that spreads across his face afterwards is almost unfair. his big arms tighten around you, pulling you fully against his chest before he kisses you slowly. your lips move together warmly, like you could feel the relief and excitement radiating off of him.

when he pulls back, his forehead rested lightly against yours. "took you long enough," he murmurs softly.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

bonus scene~

it's one of those bright, los angeles days where the sidewalks are a little too crowded and the air smells faintly of saltwater and sunscreen.

you and namjoon walk together, side by side on the sidewalk—him closest to the street, of course—while he's got one hand casually resting at the small of your back. one of your favorite habits he's developed over the months; always guiding you, and always touching you.

as you approach a café, you're both talking about the most random things. he makes a silly comment that makes your smile almost hurt while he opens the door for you, guiding you inside with his other hand.

once you stepped inside, you immediately froze. standing at the counter was your lousy, bum of an ex from almost two years ago.

you physically winced, cringe and utter embarrassment twisting into your stomach at the mere sight of him. these last eight months with namjoon had you forgetting that any man had ever existed before him.

"oh, hell no," you said quietly, only loud enough for namjoon to hear, who was now towering behind you as he closed the door.

"what?"

you whipped around to face him, subtly nodding towards the counter. "that's my ex."

his eyes followed your gaze. your ex at counter looked up briefly, immediately recognizing you too. then, namjoon looks back at you—completely unimpressed. "...that's him?"

you instantly started laughing from his reaction. "don't do that, joonie."

"do what?"

"that face."

"what face?"

"the one where you're judging."

he only smirked. "baby, i haven't said a word."

he takes a step to move forward, but you grab his arm hurriedly. "joonie, wait. i'm kind of... nervous."

those words grab his attention immediately, making his body come to a halt entirely. one eyebrow lifted slowly. "nervous?"

you shrugged. "the breakup was awkward."

he stares at you for a second. "you're scared of him?"

"not scared," you said, him nodding his head in understanding. "i just don't want it to be weird."

he leans down slightly, close enough that his breath barely grazes the top of your ear. "oh please."

your stomach did ten flips right then and there at his confidence—his absolute certainty. his hands came to settle firmly at your waist. "you're with me, baby."

those four words instantly calmed you down, settling your heart rate back into a somewhat normal pace. before you can answer, namjoon is already guiding you towards the register.

your ex, julian, notices you both approaching. his eyes avert over to who you're with, his expression changing immediately.

because standing next to you, was six-foot-something of calm confidence—designer sunglasses and an expensive watch. his posture was straight, yet relaxed with one large palm settled comfortably on your lower back. he walked like he didn't need to prove anything, because he already knew exactly who he was—and exactly what kind of stunning woman he was with.

and, wait a minute—wasn't he famous? julian visibly straightened, swallowing a little too hard. meanwhile, namjoon couldn't even look less concerned. "afternoon," he says politely.

julian greets you both, his posture stiff and his voice tight. then, he looked at you. "hey."

you could only blink, and before you even formulate a response—namjoon answers first. "hey, man." his tone coming friendly and easy.

your ex's attention shifts to namjoon instantly. he orders for both of you—remembering your exact order, because of course he did—all while smiling politely. the entire time, his hand never leaves your waist.

while namjoon pays, julian attempts to make small talk. "so... how have you been?"

before you can answer, namjoon glances down at you, thumb gently caressing the skin on your waist. "good, right baby? he asks warmly.

you stifle a laugh, because you knew exactly what he was up to. "mhm," you nod. "very good."

the corner of namjoon's mouth twitches in satisfaction. julian nods awkwardly, his gaze quickly averting to the ground.

once the payment goes through, namjoon thanks him with a simple smile before intertwining his fingers with yours and walking away. you trail beside him, biting your lip from the incredible urge to laugh.

moments later, your drinks are ready. namjoon picks them up, handing one to you as you squealed quietly in excitement, making a large smile pull at his lips, dimples carving into his cheeks.

and just like that, it was all over. there was absolutely no drama or competition, and you didn't have to say a word to your ex at all.

soon, you're both walking back outside into the sunshine, the heat soaking into your skin right away. you looked at namjoon immediately, laugh blurting from your lips. "you're ridiculous, joonie."

"why?"

"you knew exactly what you were doing."

a cheeky grin quickly appears on his face. "i was ordering us coffee."

you rolled your eyes despite the smile on your face. his hand wrapped around your waist again, pulling you closer against his side. "baby," his voice came low again, the deep tone that always had your knees buckling.

"if a guy is dumb enough to not treat you right and let you go..." he shrugged. "that's his problem."

then, he placed a kiss at the top of your forehead like the conversation was completely finished. because to him, it was. but a few steps later, you catch namjoon looking unusually pleased with himself.

"you enjoyed that, didn't you?" you pried.

the smile he gave you then was absolutely shameless. "a little."

then his arm settled around your shoulders as you continued down the street. "besides," he continued casually. "you really thought i was going to let you stand there uncomfortable?"

your heart melted instantly, absentmindedly pressing your body closer into his side. "my job is making your life easier, remember doll?" he said lowly, pressing another kiss into your hair.

somehow after all these months, namjoon still managed to make a violent pink flush your cheeks with every affirming remark he made. and him? he was absolutely whipped. he was willing to buy the whole world if it meant putting a smile on your face. and he also was already trying to figure out your ring size without asking you.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

a/n: i hope you guys liked this short(?) part 2!🥹 no it is not the end, but i just wanted to show you guys how good older boyfriend producer joonie would treat y/n bc god. he hasn't left my mind honestly. 😩 more to come in for this series in future after i roll out a few more fics <3 love you guys so so much and thank you for the incredible amount of support!

-> Review: When I tell you this fic left me speechless, I’m not joking. Part of it was my own fault because I didn’t read the warnings (don’t make that mistake, please read them lol), so getting to the ending was... woah. I had no words. It’s an android fic (oh yeah), and what really stood out to me was how the author describes Nam’s abilities. Most of the time, stories like this are told from reader’s perspective, so that side of things doesn’t get explored much, but here we get a much better understanding of how Nam functions as an android (like being able to see through walls or sense your heartbeat and body heat—I absolutely loved those details). To be honest, I was completely charmed by the first-half version of Nam before we ventured into... yandere territory (yes, it’s yandere—that was the part I accidentally skipped over lmao). That being said, it’s incredibly well written, the smut is on point, and the ending is perfect for the kind of story that slowly takes shape as it progresses. Perfect if you’re looking for something with halloween vibes.

WHAT'S YOUR MOTIVE? by @n9mgi

-> Summary: In the bustling scene of new york city in the early 2000s, a guarded girl who’s spent her life learning not to trust anyone, crosses paths with a rising underground rapper who’s used to getting everything he wants—until her.

-> Review: This fic is set in the early 2000s, and honestly, isn’t that reason enough to read it? Because it definitely was for me. Nam as an underground rapper just makes so much sense, and in that era... it’s simply perfect. The pacing of the story is incredible, the tension between the two characters is chef’s kiss, and the smut? I’m usually not that into dirty talk... but here it feels UGHHH, absolutely perfect.

DIMPLES by @milk-moonbunnies

-> Summary: The one where Namjoon is trying to show he's down bad for you

-> Review: OMG, GUYS, GUYS, THIS ONE?? I LOVE THIS ONE UGHH 😭 It’s so cute, so perfect, so soft. Popular Nam + plus-size reader? Absolute gold. On top of that, he’s so sweet and caring and ughh, I love him. This is the kind of comfort fic I’d curl up with on a cloudy afternoon when I’m feeling a little down and just want to escape into a character like Nam. You absolutely need to go read it. Trust me, you’re going to love it.

STREET THING by @/n9mgi

-> Summary: On the side of a sunburnt los angeles road, you with a broken down car meet a man you can't stop thinking about. he's older, composed, impossibly charming, and far too experienced to be looking at you the way he does. you're used to immature love that never knew how to hold you properly. but with him, everything is different.

-> Review: I think you’re starting to see a pattern here... BUT I CAN’T HELP IT. CHI KNOWS EXACTLY HOW TO WRITE A NAM FIC WITH SMUT (and she absolutely nails 2000s aus, which just so happens to be my ultimate weakness, so there was no way this wasn’t going to make the list). We’ve got an age gap, we’ve got dom!Joonie, and OBVIOUSLY we’ve got exquisite tension between the characters, because Chi really knows how to write chemistry and build anticipation between two people.

TRY AGAIN by @bangtanfancamp

-> Summary: Got guy trouble? Of course your best friend Namjoon is the perfect person to talk to about it. It just ... doesn’t go at all how you expect it to. Maybe that isn’t the worst thing though.

-> Review: If there’s one thing that always gets me, it’s slice-of-life fics. They’re sweet, they’re soft, they feel warm no matter what’s happening —whether it’s something good or something painful— and this one? This one is the perfect example of that. It’s a fic with smut (duh), but it still manages to feel gentle and comforting, and I think a lot of that comes from the fact that it has the best friends-to-lovers trope... and honestly, there’s nothing sweeter than that. It’s a little old (dude, I can’t believe 2021 was five years ago???), but it’s absolutely worth reading <3

BOTHERED by @lavienjin

-> Summary: Namjoon has tried so hard to bury his attraction for you, especially upon discovering that his youngest brother feels the same way. but you just had to make it difficult by showing up in a dress much too short and tight for your figure as you innocently beg for him to lend his body for practice.

-> Review: Imagining Nam as an architect was not on my bingo card for any year, but it was definitely something I needed to read. I have to admit, one of my favorite parts of this fic is the way Nam ‘struggles’ with his desire to be with oc because, oh! Surprise, his brother is completely smitten with her too... but of course, temptation and desire win out in the end lol. It’s a really good fic, and you should definitely give it a chance. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME by @taevescence

-> Summary: Being a woman in the legal world had never been easy—especially not in a country like South Korea. That was why you had done everything in your power to achieve your goals; you sacrificed your personal life, your health, and even the love of your life just to reach the position you held today. At least, that was what you believed until you arrived at your best friend’s wedding and came face to face once again with the only person capable of unraveling every plan you had ever made.

-> Review: (Uhm, actually this is my fic (yes, I’m self-promoting, sue me), but since there’s no way I’d write a review of my own work, I’m bringing you my bestie @thunderg opinion on the fic <3) Ok so, this fic is a masterpiece like, how can Namu be that perfect??? I love how he is so caring and understanding with Reader even when she did broke a little his heart, and the fact that she recognized that her action were not right, chef kiss, we love a self aware queen. If you want some cute fic with a bit of angst, THIS IS IT (justice for Nam people, he needs more fics, he is a cutie) When my bestie wrote this i was like a literal teenager again, giggling like a dumbass, so yeah, long live for men who yearn!!!!!!

Series:

CODE : EPITAPH by @jungkoode

-> Summary: “you wish the name Kim Namjoon didn’t make bile rise up your throat so violently. especially when 100% matches have perfect sexual compatibility—and combat pheromones don’t quite care about hatred.”

nsfw warnings: yoongi nsfw pov :))), oral (f rec), unprotected, choking, slapping, egging on because it's yoongi, multiple orgasms, ......love making................., protected, multiple rounds bc they're in fuckin' love what can i SAY!, yoongi's mouth is a warning?, reader's reactions are also a warning??, anyway, chains again, and so much care too<33   

-

-

You ignore him and get right to work. And he feels like absolute shit. 

Why are you doing this? Why aren’t you running? Why are you choosing to stay when he’s been nothing but ice cold? 

Garbage bag in hand, you waste no time gathering up his mania. Do you even see the blood? Do you not care about what just happened?

No. It’s not that you don’t care. 

It’s that you care too much. 

Instead of leaving him to drown, you dive in right after him, swimming deeper and deeper and not caring about saving yourself. And as Yoongi can only stand there, he feels unable to move. Unable to breathe. Waiting for you to turn around and go back up for air but you don’t and it’s killing him. 

It’s when you come back with a broom that he finally snaps into action, gripping your hand that holds the handle and exhaling at your hot touch. 

You’re too good to him. “Stop.”

“No.”

Which makes this so fucking hard to watch. “Just go, please.”

“No.”

Fuck. Your stubbornness stabs into his chest. Over, and over, Yoongi can’t bear to have you witness this yet he’s pained just begging you to leave. It’s layers and layers of hurt and frustration but you. Keep. Swimming. 

Don’t drown with him. Don’t follow him into the dark. 

The crinkle of glass surrounds your feet and it’s too much to bear. He can’t even feel his toes he feels so numb, but having you see all of this pains him to no end because he’d been trying so hard to keep this side of himself from your welling eyes. 

How foolish. 

But if you’re gonna stay, at least let him clean his own shit. Aren’t you supposed to be home? At Yuri’s? Your brother is just as cut and banged up as he is, shouldn’t you be there with him instead? “I got it.” 

“Let me do it.” 

“Your brother needs you.”

“Yeah, well, I already tore the fuck into him and I’m gonna do the same to you.” As you yank the broom further from his control, you growl out a command so potent Yoongi can’t even push back, “So sit down.”

Sit down? He’d rather do anything else right now. Kiss you. Make you leave. Grab hold of you and never go anywhere else. 

In the end, he can’t do shit. Because you’re a beautiful tempest and he’s letting your storm run free in his living room. It’s for good, for good, for good. Fuck, everything hurts. This is all for good. 

That is all he can tell himself before dumping his battered body at his dining table. 

With each piece you pick up, one by one, you clean out his wounds, you suck up the pain that’s festered for so long with tear-soaked cheeks and spit it all out with your quiet rage. 

The adrenaline from facing serious injury and possibly something worse still courses through Yoongi’s veins. He can’t even sit still, fidgeting in his chair and raking shaky hands through damp strands. 

With one look at your face scrunched with worry, he can’t take it anymore. You have to leave. You have to, have to, have to. Caging you next to his dining table, he stops your strides with finality. “You’ve done enough.” 

“I still need to—” 

“Just.” He looks away from your tears. “Go home, doll. I can’t do this tonight.” 

“Do what? I’m helping you.” 

If nothing else is working? There is one way to do this. A way that will change how you perceive him and not in a positive light at all. Light would require at least some semblance of warmth or care. This solution is completely void of it. 

It’s only five words. Only six syllables. But all of them sting and poison him on the way out, because this is downright caustic, 

“Who said I needed it?” 

You immediately recoil.

Shit, shit, shit, this isn’t him. This is fucking ludicrous but he can’t stop himself from surging forward with muck on his legs.

“Yoongi, what? Are you serious?” 

“You think I’m joking?” 

“You’re kicking me out? What happened to saying you’d never do that, huh?” 

“I say a lot of things.” 

Fuck. That wasn’t what he…

…Fuck.

Well. That’s it then. You’re smart, way smarter than you give yourself credit for. Which means you’ll pick up on that vibrant red flag he just swung with both arms and abandon him completely tonight. 

Nodding, you look away, shaking your head in a way that tells him he’s two seconds from getting snapped into pieces. And Yoongi knows he damn well deserves it. “You know what? You do say a lot of things.”

Walking away, you start to… organize his things? “Like how perfect I am.” You keep going, shifting things around with a tone so alarming his heart may have beat a little. “And how there’s no one else.” 

After a second, you face him again. And it seems like you are wanting to sling heat around too because you know what you’re saying isn’t true and it’s pissing him off. “Those are just words, too, huh?” 

You are perfect. There is no one else. 

If those were just words he wouldn’t have risked his life to—

What a fucking shit show. He can’t speak of what went down tonight so this is going nowhere. 

With this insane dilemma looming over his head, Yoongi is fully aware his next laugh is anything but nice. “Nah… Not tonight.” 

“Not tonight what.” 

“We aren’t doing this tonight.” 

“The fuck we aren’t. Where are you going?” 

“Nowhere.” Yoongi shifts his head, hiding the very obvious cuts that he’s starting to feel more and more the longer this scathing verbal sparring goes on. “But you’re going home.” 

Laced in this silence, there’s still rage. There’s still passion, and it’s a fine line because he hates himself for getting to this point and he doesn’t understand why you’re still here and won’t leave him. So stubborn, so like him, so unbelievably loyal and good and everything he needs to be. 

But you say something that lights his chest and kicks his brain into gear, because he can’t even believe you continue with complete nonsense, 

“So this is how it happens, huh. Now I’m just like everyone else.” 

Both feet firmly planted and shoulders rising a little higher, Yoongi faces you head on, feeling the most alert he’s been since you rushed in. The fire in his chest licks at his lungs, propelling smoke all the way to his ears. “You’re gonna go there?” 

Your response is immediate. “I am.” 

And it takes everything inside of him to not explode. Treating you like everyone else? You know that’s bullshit. So if you’re just saying all this to fuck with him, it’s fucking working. The only thing he can come back with is a single syllable because if he says anything else, it’s gonna lead to hell fast. “Wow.” 

Suddenly, you dig into the offensive, the chasm between the two of you shaking under the weight of your argument, “You think I wanted to come here? After what all of you did?” 

“Do you even know?” 

“No! But how the fuck would I? You don’t tell me shit!” 

“That’s cus—” 

Fire spews from your lips, scorching everything at his feet and rendering him speechless yet again, “I can take care of myself. But none of you told me about that dude from the court. None of you.” 

Fuck. Yoongi knows this, he’s the one that started this whole conversation in Jimin’s car—

“If I had known? That whole Dalo thing could’ve been avoided and I would’ve ran.” 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. It’s all coming back. Everything he did led to this, including not telling you shit, and you’re more hurt than he even imagined. The self-loathing has reached a new high, and he can feel blood from where his teeth bite into his tongue. 

Didn’t he just kill the shadow in his room? Why is he still struggling to breathe?

“And today? You know how fucking scared I was? If I… I…” 

Yoongi can’t do anything but stare, and stare, and stare some more. 

He’d been so focused on getting you out of there and keeping everyone safe that he didn’t even think about how afraid you were. How terrified you were after you left in screams and tears that he can still hear ringing about his head. 

“You know what?” Your empty laugh sends shivers to his fingertips. “Forget it. You’re not even listening anyway.”

And Yoongi finally snaps with another flitter of sparks. Because he is and he knows but this isn’t how he wants to speak to you. Not with a canyon of hurt and desperation between your hearts. “I swear to—I just said not tonight.” 

“No, I get it. I do! You want me gone. Sure. See you in three more months.” 

…What? 

No. No, no, no, that’s not what he means. You gotta take him at face value. He just means not tonight so you don’t have to see him at his lowest and he doesn’t want to show this monstrous side of him that’s hurting you all over again. “Are you serious?” 

But why would you take him at face value? Why would you give him any slack right now? He sure as fuck doesn’t deserve it with the way he’s treating you. Fuck, he’s even slipping on things he would never do. What the fuck is wrong with him?  

“Yes, I am. Trying to help you but it looks like you don’t even want that. So good fucking bye.” 

This is what he wants, right? This is what he was fighting you for this entire time? He got what he wanted. You’re going back up for air. 

Now he just has to seal your decision the only way he can. Because nothing else has worked so far and he’s been too cowardly—or just fucking sensical—to go here. 

But with a vice clamped around his lungs, he does. Blackout shutters around his soul, Yoongi utters a sentence he would never, in any other circumstance, ever say to you. A question that sends white hot tears to the corners of his tired eyes. 

“Who asked you?” 

Ice fills the chasm between. 

Your eyes penetrate into the deepest parts of him, staring him down like he’s a stranger and rightfully so because this isn’t him. Fuck, this isn’t—this isn’t him and he is crumbling into ashes at your feet but he can’t bear to let you witness him like this another second. 

When your response shakes, Yoongi feels his heart give out. “Who asked me? Who asked me.” 

This is the hardest thing he’s ever done in his life. “That’s what I said.” 

How is he still on both feet when you’re looking at him like that? Your silence carves out his heart, but this is how to finally get you to leave. To run. To rid yourself of this burden sinking him lower, and lower, and lower.

“You know what? Kiss my ass, Yoongi.” 

Rock bottom. It hurts.

None of the hits he took tonight compare to the anguish this is putting him through. Absolutely nothing will. Yoongi is starting to fight out of his own chains because he can’t stand being in them. 

The damage has already been done but he’s drowning now. Get out. Claw a way out!

Dead silence rings in his ears, reaching a stinging buzz and crashing into the sound of rain and thunder. His body is thrashing out of his mind and clawing a way to the surface. 

But you drift further. And further. And further. The waves between you both crest high and fall fast, and Yoongi’s vision swims as he sways. You’re almost gone. Good. Good. You’re almost gone for good. 

…For good? 

No. No no no, that’s the farthest thing from good fuck fuck fuck. 

Yoongi can’t even recall his body tearing through the ocean of his living room so fast but he’s already at the door, slamming it shut and grasping your body for dear life. It all happens so swiftly that his fingers catch between your back and solid wood, his nails stinging from the pain and his ears ringing from your outright shouting—

“God, what the fuck! I told you to—We didn’t hear from you for hours and I—I didn’t know if you were okay—” 

The heart in his chest plummets with each weak thump of your hands. “Whoa, hold u—” 

“I thought the worst and I—didn’t even get a chance to—I finally told you want I wanted and you—Fuck—” 

Yoongi’s finally alert. He’s awake. He’s staying afloat and now he needs to pull you ashore because you are flailing in your own current of emotion. It takes everything for him to think straight and just get you to— “Just listen—” 

“Don’t ever do that again! I don’t wanna lose you and today was so fucking scary and I’m not, fucking, leaving—” 

Thank god. 

Doing the one thing that may shut you up and quell your worries, Yoongi smashes his lips against yours, pushing into you so hard water leaks from his eyes. Because you still have to go at some point, which means this could be his last taste in a long time. “I swear to—” 

You almost lost him. 

Which means he almost left you behind. 

What the fuck is he doing fighting you?

Anger from today and frustration with himself seize the reins, and he yanks you back to have you against another wall. There’s madness skimming along his bones and firing in his bloodstream. And Yoongi welcomes all the energy you’re unleashing in return, raking through his hair and his skin and blowing his eyes all the way out. 

He doesn’t even recognize his voice as he rips out a question, “Can’t fucking listen, can you?” 

“No.”  

When you shove him back, Yoongi can feel his soul go obsidian, welcoming the way you tug him into a ravaging kiss, tearing at your clothes because he can’t stand to be even one layer beyond your skin. 

What the fuck is happening? You have to leave. Didn’t he just fight for you to go? What’s his body doing? Suddenly his hand is around your throat and his heart booms at the spark in your eyes. Fuck, he needs you. Fucking hell, why do you have to be so fucking devoted? “Shouldn’t even fucking be here.” 

“When has that ever stopped us.” 

Don’t say shit like that. 

Yoongi drags you backward and into his dining table, careful to not trip you up on the way. As much as he’s relishing your rebellion, there’s a part of him that’s still terrified. “He’s still home.” 

“So?”

“Shouldn’t you—”

“Then kick me out!” His hand lets off your throat now. And for a second, he can’t speak. “For real. Let me go. Fucking do it then.” 

Gripping a bit tighter again, Yoongi gives out of control at your groan. Fucking shit, this is breaking him down so fast and you didn’t even have to do anything. All you had to do was defy his words and call every single fucking bluff he had. 

Because he wanted nothing more than for you to be right here. Nothing else matters. Not the wounds on his body, not the catastrophe of his place, not the thunder and rain outside.  

Only you. “You aren’t gonna leave me alone.” 

You meet his eyes with fire. 

“Are you.” 

The look on your face tells him everything he needs to know. No words are exchanged as the atmosphere sparks and fizzles, and yet, Yoongi understands every single fucking word. 

The moment you walked in, Yoongi had already lost. “Goddamn it.” 

Giving into the most primal of urges, the most savage of needs, tension snaps with a burst of orange and red. Claws and fangs glint in the night, rage and passion clutching each other before crashing down together. 

Devouring you and letting you have your way with him is ecstatic, a high, all consuming and Yoongi doesn’t know when anger morphs into desperation. But it does, it does, it does, and the outpouring of frustration and relief and realization that you’re here is draining him exactly how he wants. 

Taking while being taken. Worshipping while being worshipped. Everything he’d been feeling over the last three months funnels into this very moment and spills out of his system like an open, gushing wound. Toxins and pain runneth over, releasing and freeing and letting his bones free to stretch and grow again. Though battered and bruised, Yoongi feels whole again. Like he never was, or always was? With you. 

Was this all he had to do? 

All he had to do was let you in? 

You come undone, then you unravel beneath him again. The sight he thought he’d never see again unfolds in front of his very eyes and Yoongi drinks you in like a man starved on the brink of collapse. Maybe he still fucking is, because the burn he feels in his body won’t quell. The pain in his soul won’t ebb. The sobs in his ear won’t stop. 

Wait, fuck fuck, that’s you? “Baby.” 

You don’t quit, so he calls you again. And when nothing else works, Yoongi cracks out your name with a snap and grabs your chin to bring you back. Shit, he should’ve been paying attention. 

Fuck, you look so exhausted. He knows he’s responsible for that pain in your eyes. That anguish in your brows. But Yoongi will deal with that once you’re coherent and present again.

It takes you a bit to come back to him, but you do like the strong, fierce one you are. Fuck, you’re incredible even in your weakest moments. Something he’s come to love and aspire to match. 

When you beg him to not kick you out, Yoongi feels chains tug his heart taut. Pulled in so many directions, he feels the need to take deep breaths himself, and he’s so caught up in your pleas that he births a new nickname that has his brain spiraling,

“Breathe, angel.”

No time to think about that now. The only real explanation for him saying it out loud is the fact he’s thought it so many times his brain decided it needed to be set free. 

You tell him he’s perfect the way he is, and Yoongi falters. Everything you say while in his arms and fighting tears will be burned in his memory forever, and he’ll let those words carry him onto softer shores, sparkling and welcoming just like you. 

He doesn’t even realize he starts to cry until you tell him it’s okay. And he lets himself rest in the solace of your embrace until he remembers that you came in through the pouring rain. 

When you offer to share the blame? That’s when Yoongi can’t fight it anymore. This beautiful, blooming soul in his arms is radiating enough light to wash away his darkness. He has no choice but to surrender to you—his life, his devotion, his everything. 

Of course you would offer to share the blame. It’s so inherently you that Yoongi’s emotions run down with the shower spray, and he clutches onto you like life would stop as soon as he let go. 

Water. Sunlight. Warmth. 

From the mud in his chest, reaching up towards his beloved, Yoongi finally feels new life bloom. 

—

—

Darkness no longer clouds the edges of his eyes, and he can see moonlight crisper and more ethereal than he’d ever seen it before. Washed ashore, lying still, and staring at a sea of stars, Yoongi thinks his view almost looks as pretty as you. But he realizes this is because it is you. He’s there in your eyes, amongst those flecks of light. It’s breathtaking. It’s… 

You give him a tiny smile before turning to leave his bedroom. And Yoongi follows with his vision swimming. 

This feeling… 

You’re both in the kitchen now, his feet planted on warm tile as you grab your phone to do whatever’s in that beautiful brain of yours. God, you’re ethereal just standing there, so gorgeous, so present. His life’s most precious gift. “What shall we eat… Stew? Or, wait—” 

Yoongi watches as you give him a once over. “Actually, let’s figure you out first.” 

As you speak, he can’t offer anything. He can’t even move, because something is growing in his chest and it’s starting to feel like he’ll burst. “Okay, let’s see. You’re breathing fine, so no bruised ribs. Umm…” 

This feeling… It’s an urge. It’s an irrevocable emotion. 

It’s all you. All Yoongi sees is you. Light. Shine. Glow. The rainbow that came after the rain, casting color and new life into his dulled existence and clearing his mind of all sludge. His ribs are battered, but this has been the easiest he can breathe. 

“It looks really bad there, though. You sure you can move right?” 

How does that even make sense? How do you manage to make him second guess his life at every turn? He can be happy, even if it doesn’t make sense now. 

Your radiance is just beyond his cracked, clawed walls, and this need to fight his way out is stronger than it’s ever been. You deserve his best. You want every piece of him. 

Every version of him.

Throat burning and breath short, Yoongi runs across his mind, footsteps unimpeded towards the door he’s been waiting behind, clenching his fist around the knob and yanking it all the way open to pull himself through without resistance and turning towards the shimmering expanse across his eyes. 

“Okay, so no bruised ribs, and according to this you don’t have any broken bones. And nothing fractured, either, thank god—” 

And sunlight conquers the dark. 

“I love you.” 

You stop as soon as his heart thrums, pulsing with purpose, with the intention of keeping him full and alive because that’s exactly how he feels. 

Alive.

You question what he says, but Yoongi doesn’t answer with words. The emotion pooling in his eyes will have to suffice, because if he says what he really wants to say? You’d probably run from how ahead of himself he really is. 

So instead, surrounded by a kitchen that has seen the worst and best of him, Yoongi simply repeats out loud what’s been fact for months now, 

“I love you, doll.”

It’s okay that you don’t move. It’s okay if you don’t say anything back. 

He almost lost you. And you may have almost lost him had it not been for everyone else there. To even be able to confess is a blessing in itself, and even if you don’t reciprocate, Yoongi is more than fine with that. Because he’s still on this earth, in this lifetime, and this version of him was able to find this version of you. 

And he’ll do it again, and again, and again.

“And you don’t have to say anything. I know I don’t deserve to. I can’t be everything you want. Or need. Or whatever the fuck I’m trying to say. But I just needed you to know because I can’t fucking fight this shit anymore—” 

When you rush to embrace him with the utmost care, it proves too much to hide anything else. Yoongi’s walls fully fall with the tears from his eyes as you cry into his skin. Words bump and collide into each other as he fails to express how grateful he is to be alive and to be in your arms. It’s too much to bear. It’s too much to convey. All he can do is fucking sob. “Goddamn it, I love you—”

“Yoongi—”

“—so fucking much.”

You didn’t deny him. You didn’t look repulsed, or disappointed, or angry. All the fears that berated him for days prove useless and wrong and there’s no better feeling that exists in the spectrum of human emotion. 

Orange and blue coalesce and intertwine, and his mind shines with a rainbow of iridescence, scintillating and bounding like the suncatchers in your eyes. 

With his next blinks, something happens that renders his mind speechless. 

He slowly looks beyond your shoulder and sees a figment of himself—a younger version with big dreams and a battered heart—standing at the edge of his kitchen and donning a look of trepidation. 

Before realizing that everything’s going to be alright. 

Yeah, kid. Everything is more than alright.

And this only makes Yoongi cry harder, and he watches himself grin before offering a simple nod, walking out with hands in his pockets and fading footsteps.

Healed. 

“Yoongi.” 

His name leaves your lips so cracked that it hurts him in the best way. It takes all of him to hold you tight, finding shelter from his own shower of tears in the crook of your shoulder. 

This is what he’ll remember forever. Your outpouring of emotion receiving his biggest fear with warmth. He should’ve seen this coming, but darkness and trauma has a damn good way of beating your expectations down into dust. Just like the glass shattered across his living room floor not too long ago. 

You still haven’t said anything. But this is more than enough. This is everything Yoongi could ask for and he’s cherishing every millisecond he gets with you in this newfound life, this life beyond his own, this eternity. 

“Yoongi, I—”

He swoops in to catch your words in his mouth, and it’s in this very moment that he realizes that he’s terrified of anything you have to say back. Is that ridiculous? Is that unreasonable? He doesn’t care. There’s a chance these past three months have changed your mind and he’s not ready to hear it if that’s the case. 

Just stay here with him and let him love you. Just stay here by his side and let him watch you with a vision finally unclouded. 

Yoongi backs you up into the opposite counter, smothering you with everything else he wants to say but can’t. Because anything else he wants to confess still scares the living shit out of him.

Your breathy words already hit harder when you finally speak again, “I… I can’t… Yoongi—”

He can’t either. Whatever you’re about to say, he fucking can’t, either. Holding your head, he plants his forehead on yours. “I’m sorry,” he rasps out, hoping you can tell he means it, for everything. “I won’t ever be able to say that enough.” 

“Baby,” you hiccup, resting a hand over one of his. “It’s okay.” 

“It’s not.”

How can he ever make all of this up to you? The distance, the shutout, the shutdown, the way he tried to get you to leave. All of it weighs his heart down and forces out apologies to his brain. Over, and over, he can only say sorry. And he’s so fucking relieved that he gets to tell you because he made it out and they all survived. 

“It is.” You squeeze his hand, and he immediately calms. Inhaling your natural scent, he lowers his lids as you whisper, “You’re okay, so I’m okay.” 

All you wanted was for him to be okay. And all he needed for that to happen was having you right here. 

This is deeper than love. 

After he plants a warm kiss on your temple, he feels so goddamned overwhelmed he has to ball his fists. “I just—fuck.” 

“Babe,” you say with the softest care, “I’m here.” 

“I know.” He sighs, smushing into your lips and holding you so tenderly, yet so tight. As he laps at your tongue, salt coats his lips and he knows what it means. 

You’re here. He almost got you to leave. And you almost did and he finally, finally, finally fought for you to stay. 

Yoongi plants kisses all over your skin, marvelling at how perfect you are even if you don’t believe it. You’re everything. And he’s so drawn to you that he can feel his body responding without pause. 

But he won’t give into those urges unless you want him to. He can live off your little breaths, your roaming hands, your small hitches as he keeps peppering love along your canvas. This can be enough to keep him going well into the next year or ten. 

His name leaves your mouth in a sigh, your back arching just how he loves. “If you only knew,” he whispers, laughing to himself as he wraps an arm around your side.

“Knew what?”

“Nothing, babe.” He captures your lips again, and he can feel that you want what he wants. And his heart pulses in double time. “You’re so—fuck.”

His hands find yours as he starts to walk to the bedroom, leading you and loving how your fingers slot into his perfectly. When you both reach the bed, you stop him with a little question of concern, “Are you sure?” 

“I’ll be alright, doll.” There’s nothing but care in his movements as he lowers you down, transfixed by how beautiful you are in his sheets. The fact that you’re down to do this again after taking him so well has his mind spinning. “As much as I think you enjoyed the first time, this time will be better.” 

Giggling, you read him like a story you’ve memorized, “You enjoyed it more than I did, I think.” 

“I don’t think so.” A lie. “Lemme get a cond—” 

“It’s okay.”

…What did you just say?

Yoongi needs clarification on what the fuck you just said because he is now convinced this whole night is a dream and he’s hallucinating you in his bed and he’s gonna wake up to none of this happening at all because what the fuck did you just say? “...What?” 

“We don’t…” You swallow, and his heart stops completely at your next sentence. “We don’t have to this time.” 

There’s no fucking way. “You sure?” 

Cradling his face with the softest of touches, you confirm with a smile so shy Yoongi wants to shield you from the rest of the world, “Just for a little bit.” 

And you add something he absolutely needed to hear because his breaths haven’t resumed. “I trust you.” When your eyes slightly waver, Yoongi crumbles at your last words, “And I want to, if you want it, too.” 

Of course he wants this. But hearing the suggestion come from you? That’s new, and he’s not complaining in the least. “I want what you want, doll.” 

“Then it’s okay.”  

His fingers. They’re already fucking shaking. 

But Yoongi’s not going to say anything to change the trajectory of this moment. Something about his bedroom feels different, as if it’s been plucked from this universe and placed in a separate pocket of time where only the two of you exist. 

You aren’t wavering in your gaze. All you do is stare with pools in your eyes as he slowly peels clothes from your legs and his own. Determination is all he can see, and that solidifies his confession that he’ll keep saying again, and again, and again. 

Can you hear how breathless he sounds? Can you feel every shiver running up and down his spine? Do you notice how he could disintegrate at any moment? 

But before you both do this for real, he has to be absolutely sure. One last time. 

And you respond without him having to ask. “Yes, my love.” 

After a kiss he’ll remember forever, Yoongi kisses you back, taking his time and inundating your lips with every bit of him that he deems good. There’s a mix of emotion as he positions himself, and he has to fight the shakes when he feels the velvet touch of your folds. 

Holy fuck, he’s not gonna last. He already knows this won’t take long purely based on the way he’s already fighting hard to keep his fucking composure. 

But you’re so slick that it doesn’t take much for him to slide in, and the feeling of being fully molded into you is so incredible he could pass out. What the fuck. “Holy fucking shit.” 

“Yoongi—” 

“Fuck.” 

You’re already clenching around him. Oxygen can’t even reach his lungs. There’s no greater feeling in the world than what’s vibrating in his bones, getting to feel the person he loves just like this. Whole. Yoongi feels so whole and he knows you’re fighting to prolong this feeling just as hard as he is. 

Which only makes this shit even harder goddamn. 

Your giggle barely reaches his ears, “You good, baby?” 

He turns to watch your eyes, wondering when the fuck he got so close and wondering if he’s still even living. “Yeah, just...” He stares before finally taking a breath, exhaling hard from exertion alone. “Just this is about to make me bust.” 

When you laugh, your admittance coaxes a long, lopsided grin, “I was just thinking the same, holy shit. We’re not good at this.” 

Now that is a fuckin’ lie on your part. “No. You’re too good at this. I can’t even move.” 

“Yes, you can,” you whine. “You wreck my shit all the time.” 

Fucking hell. You have to know how much power you have in that whine. Preventing himself from coming inside you legitimately hurts at this point. Not that he’s complaining but god. “Doll, if you keep talking like that, I’m pulling out.” 

“Okay, okay,” you surrender, giggling again and making him weaker and weaker. 

His voice is so strained it’s embarrassing. “You’re a little too perfect right now.” When you shake your head, he will not have any of that doubt in his face. “You are.”

“Nowhere close.”  

You don’t wanna do that. Facing you nose to nose, Yoongi taunts, welcoming this distraction from busting in your beautiful folds. “Say that again and see what happens.”

“Is that what you tell all the others fuck!”

Fuck, you take his thrusts so well. His cock is outright throbbing now. “What did I fuckin’ say?” 

“What—”

Another launch has your mouth flopping open, and Yoongi can’t think straight anymore. All he can spit out is everything as raw as you’re taking him, “You think there’s someone else? Hmm?” 

He pushes forward again. And your expression makes him moan so guttural it even gets himself going. Grabbing your chin, he feels sweat under his fingers as he vows, “You’re gonna regret saying that.” 

You just laugh, and Yoongi groans at his next thrust and how deep he goes. When you taunt him again, he can only glower with pride, thrusting up again and sending you twisting and thrashing in passionate waves. “Uh huh.” 

“Make me then,” you gasp for air. “Make me really sorry.” 

How could he ever deny you?

His hands find your body before he dives, breaking loose and ramming into you as hard and fast as his hips allow. The pain in his side rises which each swing, but that doesn’t matter. You feel so perfect around him he thinks he can stay here until he’s physically yanked from this plane of existence. 

Heaven. “Taking me so well like this.” 

“I—”

“So fucking tight.”

Animal instincts scratch along Yoongi’s brain, blurring his vision and buzzing his actions into staccato jolts. When your jaw hangs, the first thing he thinks to do is smack your cheek, and he grunts when your eyes darken three shades,

“Do it again.” 

Did you just—

“Do it again,” you growl, moaning to the sky when he obliges a second time oh fuck you’re cutting his airway and it careens him into carnal bliss. 

Fuck, the pain feels good. So good that everything roars in his core and he turns completely primal, forfeiting all sense of decency and ravishing you exactly how he wants and exactly how you need. What the fuck is his shirt still doing on your body? That needs to go. But too much time would be wasted getting it off, but he can settle with shoving it up and devouring your chest just like this oh yes. 

“Oh, fuck, Yoongi!” 

“Uh uh.” 

“Please—please—” 

Lapping at your tits is one of his favorite things at this point. Almost as natural as embracing you and holding down your beautiful wrists just to watch you preen with a smile. Because this is exactly what you do now, teeth shining in the night and eyes creased and slicing through his beating, beating, beating heart. 

Yoongi’s sure he’s stuttering out words that praise you, but there’s nothing truly registering in his head other than your sinful, angelic sounds. Truthfully, these moans you’re puffing out are enough to send him over the edge because you sound so fucking pretty. 

“Baby,” you gasp. “I’m close, I’m—” 

Shit shit shit, he’s gonna— “Shit.” 

The last braincell he has commands his entire body, lunging up and pulling out of his newfound home before spilling mercilessly onto your exposed stomach, shuddering and shivering from lust and passion and something else scarier than the rest. 

Hearing nothing from your lips, Yoongi finally regards you with ragged breaths. 

You look so in shock. And he’s so exposed and snapped lucid that he is now downright shy. “Fuck,” he shakes out with a laugh. “Thought I could hold out.” 

“No, no, it’s fine,” you assure, laughing light and offering a smile. “Oh my god, I promise.” 

Something must now be very wrong with him, or the wiring in his brain has been changed. Because every time he sees your lips? There’s an innate need to kiss them. It’s almost blasphemous if he doesn’t. 

Fuck. He winces on the way down. There’s no doubt you saw that, which sucks. He doesn’t want you to worry about him, those lines on your forehead don’t need to be there. 

“Stay there, beautiful.” Shit, getting out of the bed hurts even worse now. I’m not done with you.” 

“Baby, are you sure?” 

He’s sure. You don’t need to lift a single finger tonight unless it’s for him to kiss. 

Walking to the bathroom and facing away, Yoongi can finally let his strong demeanor drop, wincing fully and squinting his eyes in pain. But it should subside in just a bit. Going too hard was probably the worst decision, but there was no way he was passing that shit up if you wanted it. 

From the time he comes back to sit on the bed, to wiping your face and your stomach, Yoongi doesn’t feel your stare let up even once. Which is fine. This is the most calm he’s ever felt in his life, cleaning the love of his life after a connection he didn’t expect to have until you both had reached another milestone. 

But as soon as he stares back, that’s when you look away. And it’s so adorable his heart beats a shade of lavender. “What, love.” 

“I just… nothing,” you whisper. 

“Tell me.” You’re not hiding anything from him now—fuck, he probably shouldn’t lie on this side. But fuck it. “I wanna know.” 

Well. Not on your watch apparently. You command him to lie on your other side, and he’s not gonna be told twice. Shit is hurting like hell right now.

But he settles at your side, ears perked and awaiting your every syllable. “It’s a secret.” 

Huh. “A secret?” 

“Mmhmm.” 

Well, this is definitely not what he expected. But anything to entertain and amuse you. Anything you want to tell him, he’ll bring to his grave. Lifting your chin, he softly rubs your cheek before whispering, “I can keep those, you know.” 

That smile is why he fell in love. “Okay, I’ll tell.” 

Why do you look so mischievous right now? Who is this cute ball of sudden energy? Are you not as exhausted as he feels? Yoongi is sure he could fall asleep in your arms right now without so much another breath—

“I love you, too.”

…What? 

The stop of a clock.

Absolute silence.

Soon, every star in the sky glows brighter, the moon shining beams into his room and coating your body in heavenly light. It’s so piercing and true that Yoongi feels little pricks at his eyes, desperately hoping he heard you correctly because if he didn’t, his body would crumble and wash away with the tide. 

“And you deserve more than I could ever give.” 

Oh. 

He heard you right. 

And all he can see is you just beyond the sand under his fingertips, eyes reflecting tangerine and summer sparks and everything he wants to be. 

He doesn’t remember rushing forward, he doesn’t remember kissing you. But he’s locked on your quivering mouth, not faring much better and very sure his tears are coating your tongue, too. 

What the fuck does he say? Every word in every language he knows abandons him, too stunned at your confession and reciprocation that he can only show what he feels in his movements. 

Fuck sleep. 

He’s giving you every ounce of his energy tonight. 

This is how he can thank you. For caring about him, for not giving up on him, for not leaving him when he was at his absolute lowest. 

For loving him. 

For loving him. 

The pain ceases to bother him. Because he’s joining you in the sea now, diving deep between your legs and lapping at your every wave of pleasure. All he can think about is how you taste like magic, like devotion, like home. And buried in your core and away from your moans, he can let his tears flow, eyes scrunched and fingers gripping your thighs as if you’d leave as soon as he lets go. 

When you say his name, Yoongi says nothing. Because he still cannot find it within himself to speak. If he does? You’d surely run. Getting ahead of himself is the theme tonight, and there’s no telling what he’d say next if he doesn’t keep his tongue occupied with your ebb and flow. 

He really could go all night just like this. 

And that thought is so natural that it doesn’t even phase him. 

Your hands jut into his hair before you come on his tongue a second time, and the groan he pushes out rumbles his entire being. 

“Holy fuck, baby—!” 

Your waves crash onto the shore yet again, magnificent and beautiful and sparkling. Even though he’s as close as he could possibly be, Yoongi needs to be closer. So he gets up and lets your cunt breathe as he smothers your lips once more, pouring adoration into your lungs and sacrificing air to do so. 

“Fuck.” He needs you. Yoongi can’t control the dragon in his chest that yearns for connection again, even though he knows this one cannot mirror the last. So he gets up to grab a condom, instantly thinking about how shy you were to show him which ones you got when you re-upped. 

Fucking good ones, that’s for damn sure. He can pretty much feel all of you if he thinks hard enough, even with these on. Minx. “Don’t take this the wrong way.”

“Oh, I already know.”

“K. But god, I fuckin’ want to.”

The look in your eye is familiar. And the words you say are even more so. “One day.”

Fuck, he loves you. 

And for the rest of the night, as much as he can muster, Yoongi shows you just how much. At least, he hopes you can tell from the way he makes love to you, each stroke intentional, each touch of your face tender, each look in your eye full of yearning even though you’re right there with him. 

Is it possible to want someone when they’re right there? 

What does that mean? How does he feel so fucking hungry when he’s so full of you? 

It almost—almost—scares him how he can’t get enough of your body. But it’s probably your soul that he’s holding instead, and you have so much that he can’t carry it all. 

Yoongi’s eyes burn, but not in a blaze of fire. They burn like a hearth, like a calm flame in the heart of a house.  

Because he’s finally home. 

—

—

Spent, satiated, and still wanting more but letting rest take over his tired bones, Yoongi finds himself next to your shimmering eyes and roaming fingers. God, he loves when you play with his hair. If there was one thing that could always calm his storm? This would be it.

That, and your hums. He could live indefinitely in your song.

“I’m sorry for yelling,” you finally whisper. When you catch his eyes, you shift from one to the other. “But I really was so mad at you. All of you.” 

He doesn’t blame you one bit for that. “I know.” 

“I don’t wanna lose you.”

Ah. Will he ever tell you how close that was to happening? Why does that one question make him feel so fucking guilty? “It won’t happen again.” 

“That’s what you said last time.” 

As he holds your gaze, Yoongi thinks it’s better to wait. But he can at least explain why things went down the way they did. Why you had to be sent away. “They were gonna follow us home if we didn’t, babe,” he says with certainty. “We all knew that.” 

“Oh, fuck.” Don’t cry. Everything is okay now. Please don’t let this burden you. “I didn’t… I didn’t think about that.” 

His silent pleas don’t work, because of course you would cry for them. That’s just who you are, and there’s zero need to change that. 

But it doesn’t make this situation less painful. Sitting up, Yoongi has to hang his head between his knees to hide his guilt. “You don’t need to think about shit like that,” he murmurs, remembering something else he can tell you that’s okay to divulge. “But we talked after you told us off. We won’t hide that from you anymore.” 

“Thank you…” 

A brief touch on his shoulder turns into a calm yet firm hold of his arm. You’re slowly unraveling him, just like a fruit that reminds him of you, and he’s brought into your loving warmth without a word. 

The two of you don’t need to exchange those so much anymore. Not when he can sense what you need, and when you can read him better than anyone ever has.

Only one person knows him more.

And finally remembering there are other people in the world—including the only one he fears—douses him with a splash of water. 

He’s way too deep now. He really has to do something because if he gets pulled away from you ever again, his heart may as well get ripped from his chest. 

“Thank you for letting me in.”

Yoongi’s eyes still.

“It was raining really hard.” 

Fuck. 

There have been multiple doors opened tonight. Not just the one he finally yanked himself through. And with each swing of solid wood, his heart began to breathe easier and easier, its beating stronger and fuller.

But with this last door? This one you just opened with a whisper and a soft touch? 

His whole body freezes. Because it’s a swift punch to his already pained ribcage and all he can do is leak sentences from his eyes. 

“Babe?”

Only you can affect him this potently. Only you can bring him to his knees. 

“Hey. Look at me.”

He doesn’t want to. Fuck, he’s way too timid and fragile right now to even turn your way. Yoongi feels as if all his layers have been stripped bare, lying in one piece around him and exposing his vulnerable state. 

But he obeys. And he can feel the slip of warmth on his face before you spring into action, 

“Oh, fuck, come here.”

He’s gathered in your arms and it reminds him of many things. Like the tug of warm rushing water, and the first time he realized how he felt about you. 

But above all, it reminds him of the loving embrace of his mother, one that he’s been swooped into every time he needed her most. 

And this singular comparison knocks him off balance entirely. 

“It’s okay, baby,” you whisper, pressing his face into your neck and soothing him when he doesn’t utter a damn word. “I’m not mad anymore, okay? I’m just glad you’re alright.”

How does one respond when an angel speaks to them? Is it possible to form words when your heart lodges itself in your throat? This proves too difficult. And Yoongi is trying so fucking hard to keep himself in one piece.

Too late. He can’t stop his nose from a sniff. But it’s okay, because he knows he can be like this with you. He can let go, because you’ve always allowed him to be wholly himself. 

For the first time, in a very long time, Yoongi feels… 

Protected. 

He doesn’t have to be strong right now. He doesn’t even have to pretend to be more okay than he is. He can just be and that in itself gives him the most comfort he’s had in years and years. 

The answer was always you. How many other times can he materialize this singular solution in his mind? 

Infinite, infinite, infinite times. 

“This isn’t about that, doll,” Yoongi croaks, burying wet eyes further into your shoulder. “It’s just…”

He almost can’t finish what he’s saying. It takes everything to shove it out because he wants to truly say everything he feels. Consequences and potential reactions be damned.

The truth remains. 

“It’s so fucking better when you’re here.” 

When you choke out a sob, his body responds, “I sleep better. Eat better. Fuck, I even feel better even if nothing else changes.”

“Yoongi…”

“It’s true.” Every single bit of it. The truth is so concrete in his chest that he can barely breathe. Sighing, Yoongi sniffs again before letting his weight fall into your loving side. “I mean that.”

You smooth a hand over his hair. Something that he’s missed so fucking much. “Then… Those three months…”

“One day, I’ll tell you everything,” he offers, surprising himself because there’s so many things that will scare you shitless. But what’s done is done. The future is now, and immediate changes are in order. “But from now on, you can be here whenever you want.” 

Skimming along his strands, you cheekily ask, “So I can come to those parties you host, too?” 

Oh? You know about those? It makes sense, since your brother did attend some and stayed for a bit. “Those weren’t my idea, by the way. Jimin made me.” 

You’re silent as he gravitates to your shoulder, inhaling your scent while kissing its curve. “He was worried. And hoping you would show.” Again, you don’t speak, leaving room for Yoongi to keep revealing more and more of his unending string of thoughts, “I knew you wouldn’t. But… I did hope to see you, too.” 

As you resume your gentle touches, your chest rises and falls before you finally talk, “It’s okay. It would’ve been too obvious.”

What, that he missed you? That he wouldn’t have left the same room you were in? That his eyes would’ve drifted to you because the rest of him couldn’t? “What would’ve.”

“That I wanted you all to myself.”

Oh. The two of you are so similar. “You already have that.”

Voice softer and more timid, you respond, “You know what I mean.” 

Of course he does. In fact, he wants to see how you’d act if there was nothing holding you back. Because if it were him? Everyone would know who has him cuffed up and chained down, and just how much he fucking loves it—

“My brother was the one that invited me,” you blurt. “To come to those, I mean.”

Wait.. He what? “Huh.”

“I know.” You absentmindedly take his hand and kiss along his ridges, staring off into space and time. “It makes me wonder if he knows.”

Does he? Yoongi doesn’t think so, considering he himself is still alive and breathing semi-fine. 

Back in the parking lot, though, things could’ve gotten suspicious as hell once that fucker started mentioning you to him. But the guy from Dalo taunted him first on the court way back when. Of course he’d single him out. 

But still… When your brother told him to get out of the car, he probably lost two of his nine lives. “What if he does?”

You turn, eyes wide. “Does he?”

Focusing on your lips hovering over his fingers, Yoongi runs through every scenario in his mind. The most glaring thing he can think of just happened in your front yard, but your brother told him to break up with his ex. So there’s no way he’d think you were even an option.

So the most obvious answer, thankfully, would be, “No.”

Relief lowers your shoulders. “Okay. But you’re sure I can stay?” 

Ah. He forgot about this single scheme he cooked up days ago, as soon as he was told your brother would be heading out for a surprise trip. 

Getting to tell you in person? This makes his heart sing. “Who do you think you bought those groceries for?” 

Jackpot. That expression is fucking priceless. “What?” 

Yoongi cannot believe he almost let you leave. If you had walked back out into the rain, his future would have looked much different. And, frankly, quite fucking bleak. “I get you for a week, right?”

It’s just for a second, but the wheels spinning in your head can plainly be seen. He can’t help but laugh at the way you scrunch that cute ass nose as you burst, 

“You sneaky little—” 

That look. The look you have when you’re nothing but happy? He wants that permanently etched into your features forever. There’s nothing else he wants more than to keep you shining and shining. 

Giving in to your kisses, Yoongi loses himself in the best way, melting against your lips and feeling warmth pool in his chest. 

Is going behind your brother’s back one more time still mutinous? Yes. But this will be the very last time. All the sneaking, all the hidden truths, all the little lies will be over soon enough. 

You need it to be, your brother deserves for it to be, and Yoongi yearns for it to be. 

“One day,” he murmurs, caught in a sudden determination to rewire his whole framework for your sake, “I’ll be better.”

“Don’t make it just one day, silly.” 

Did you just… What did you just say?

Clutching a little bit of his shirt, you whisper with complete devotion, “We’ll make it as many as we can.”

It’s not enough to say he loves you.

What he feels digs seven leagues farther into his soul, carving out a haven shaped like you just so he can permanently keep you there. Safe. Protected. Glowing like the pop of fireworks and the shine of sunlight through summer leaves. 

Yoongi’s not quite sure of a lot of things. Unfortunately, one of those includes knowing when exactly he’d be okay. Be truly, one hundred percent okay. 

But he’s sure of one thing, and that’s your word. If you’re with him, you’re with him. He’s known this for awhile now, but it doesn’t hit him until tonight, right as you fought to stay while staring his monsters in the eye. 

A light laugh lands on his hair, and Yoongi wonders where your mind is. Probably wandering and trying to find his own, since he knows he drifted off just a bit. 

“At least. Until the day I get to meet my cat.”

Yoongi’s brows perk up at your confidence. 

“Then I’m running away with her.”

Is that right? Maybe he believes you, but who is he to surrender so easily? “Oh, yeah?”

Your pout is priceless. “Yeah. But I’m starting to think she ran away already and you won’t fess up.”

A laugh leaps out of his chest, because technically she did but ultimately came back. You really don’t know half of it, but he has time to tell you everything. Even the parts he doesn’t want to. “She’s still here!”

“Lies.”

“How much are you betting, doll.”

“How much are you willing to lose, babe.”

Alright, he’s had enough. The urge to tickle you roars again, and he doesn’t have to keep his hands to himself. “This much,” he says with his attack, loving your bubbling laughter, “Maybe I’ll make you leave after all if you’re gonna be a problem.” 

“You did threaten to kick me out before.” 

Yoongi stops on your soft curves. “Huh? When?”

“That day I showed up.” Your eyes crease as you watch him stare far into your eyes. “Said you were gonna kick me out for hustling you.” 

Oh, fuck, he did! 

The laugh that rumbles from his belly is so fast and loud that his side hurts like hell fuck but he can’t help it because the giddiness gets the best of him. Damn, he really did say that the very first day. From day one, he’s been such a liar. “I should’ve!” 

“You really should’ve.” 

“Played me from the very start. You happy with yourself?” Of course you nod. It’s attractive in the best and worst ways, and soon he’s not gonna know what to do with the confident version of you. “Course you are.” 

“You love it.” 

“I do.” 

The sentence he wants to say next is balancing on the tip of his tongue. But it’s even more fun to dangle in front of your awaiting eyes, knowing you have a feeling of what he’s gonna say. 

So he just bites his own lips before pulling you in for a kiss. “Thought I was gonna say it, huh.” 

“No! …Maybe.” 

Adorable. “Guess what.” 

Yoongi doesn’t even acknowledge your suspicion before seizing your mouth, kissing you deep and feeling the arch of your chest into his. Fuck, he loves when you do that. It’s one of his favorite things, even more so when it happens right here in his bed. 

If it ever happens again in yours… 

After a few passes, he raises himself, planting a hand at your side and slotting a leg in between yours. God, your skin. It’s so smooth against his, and yet, you’re so unbelievably strong. So firm. So loyal. It’s never going to fully click that you’re doing this all for him. 

There are multitudes of what Yoongi wants to say to you. But you two have all the time in the world now. He’s gonna shower you with so much appreciation and adoration that you may not know what to do with him. And that’s perfectly okay. 

When he lets up, you move wet lips to whisper, “What were you gonna say?” 

Drawn to your nose, Yoongi gives in to his urges yet again and kisses you there, letting loose and firing another confession into the dark night sky, “I just fucking love you, doll.” 

Oh. You’re trying to duck him now? That’s not gonna work, but it’s fucking cute as hell. “You can’t hide now, babe.” 

“I can!” 

Nah, you can’t run. He has more to say and he’s gonna say it to your face. Or ear. Whatever is willing to take in his sparkling, booming declarations, “I love fucking you, too.” 

“Yoongi!” 

He can’t help but laugh now, holding you tighter and snuggling his nose into your scent. Inhaling, inhaling, exhaling relief. Relief that you are here and relief that he is, too.

That second of terror, not knowing if he was going to survive? It feels so far away and right on his heels all at once. It’s a strange feeling, wondering if the universe intentionally gave him a second chance and now wondering why. Clearly, he now has some soul searching to do. 

But two things are for sure: music, and you.

And to Yoongi, they are one and the same.  

“I miss you.”

What?

Looking down at your head, Yoongi wonders if he wandered too far, “How? I’m right here.”

You lower into his chest, and he feels his heartbeat quicken. “I still miss you.”

Fuck. He knows how that feels. 

Feeling the rush of melancholy, he embraces your sides, knowing that there’s a goodbye to every hello and he knows your dreading this part just as much as he is. 

A flare of blue streaks across his chest. Something burning so hot and searing a decision on the inside of his lungs. 

And fuck, it’s already making him shake. “I can’t do shit like this anymore.” 

You completely still in his arms, and he knows why. But this is the only way he can get all of this out because it’s frightening and he’s running from the one sentence he has to say out loud.

“I wanna do this the right way.” 

He can’t fucking stop his breaths from studdering, and you push up to check on his current shake,

“What are you saying?” 

Just say it. Just fucking say it. He’s ready to walk into fire, knowing a piece of him might disintegrate into ashes. “I’m saying I’ll tell him, doll. Just me.” 

It takes a second or two for you to realize what he says. And he gets that. This is sudden, and it’s throwing him into a new state of panic that would destroy him if you weren’t there warming his skin.

The gleam of your tears gives him a will to breathe. 

And Yoongi swallows every shadow and doubt before taking the first step towards freedom, famine, or both. 

For you, for you, for you. Always and forever, for you. 

“I’ll tell him everything.” 

More water engulfs your eyes as you fall silent, and Yoongi can’t quell the beating in his chest. Are you shocked? Scared? Just as fucking frightened as he is? 

Because he has a lot coming for him and there’s no way around it. He just has to hope to everything in the universe and beyond that he can withstand whatever hell your brother will unleash. 

And the guilt waiting for him on its haunches. “Babe?” 

“I’m just…” Your brows deepen as your face scrunches, but what you say makes him blink twice. “I can’t…”

Yoongi’s heart is millimeters from the ground. “What?”

When your hand grips your chest, he feels his whole world pulse with the urge to protect you. You look so scared of something, and it’s probably the same as what’s haunting him. He wishes things were different, he wishes he did things better, he hates himself for—

“I love you so much it fucking hurts.”

Oh. 

You… That’s all you’re thinking about? Him? His throat sears through at how wrong he was. How the fuck will he ever deserve you?

“Maybe cus I’m scared as shit,” you confirm one of his worries, clenching another beautiful hand over your chest. “Or maybe one heart isn’t enough to hold it all.” 

If that isn’t the fucking truth. 

Just saying the words will never be enough. Like it’s laughable how much he feels for you, what he would do for you. The way he went from a bruised heart to growing another just for you inflates his battered ribcage and leaves him breathless. “It’s been hurting for me, too,” he croaks, chest constricted by the rivers on your face. “A lot longer than three months.”

When your palm reaches to cup his cheek, Yoongi can’t hold back the tear that falls into its ridges. Because his capacity for emotion seems to be limitless around your tender heart. You’re his safe haven, his hearth, his home where he can be himself and not feel like he has to hide. 

You’re his everything. And he’s simply yours in every sense of the word. 

“I just wish I was here for those,” you whisper with leaking eyes that match his. “I missed you, Yoongi. I didn’t want to say much, but… It affected me a lot more than I thought.”

“I know,” he responds, cracked and broken beyond repair. “There’s nothing I can say that can change what I did.” 

Your sniffles stab like knives. 

“But listen. Hmm?” He shifts to kiss the inside of your palm. “Never again.” 

When you can only nod, his lungs collapse. “Serious. And you’ll know how serious by tomorrow. K?”

“K,” you breathe out, silent as you watch him pepper more and more kisses along your wrist between inhales. His plan will be fully done by the end of the day tomorrow. There’s a bit to do, but he’s got time. Everything will be worth it just to keep you happy and at peace. 

And maybe this will help him get there, too. 

“Come here, doll,” he whispers, shutting both eyes when you rush to his lips before he even finishes the plea. And your mouth pins his in the best way, smothering with salt and a deluge he laps at, sucks in, smushes closer with a hand to your head. 

When you break away, Yoongi gulps in air as you do the same, hearing your soft sniffs and still wishing things had been done differently. 

But he can’t change the past. And the present is more than he could ever ask for. So there’s no point in dwelling on the roads you both took to get here.

“I love when you call me that,” you admit, breaking into his thoughts. 

“Doll?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Kinda picked up on that.” Ah, you’re trying to hide one more time? Do you know that’s never gonna fly with him? “Huh, now we’re shy again?” 

“Always.” 

“We both know that’s not true.” Yoongi laughs until you latch onto his neck, and blood speeds to his groin as he instantly loses himself in a groan. He doesn’t even register his head kicking back until his words come out strained, “Fuckin’ hustler, fuck…” 

When you chuckle, your vibrations send jolts along his limbs, activating every fucking cell and lighting up his brain until it’s completely blank. 

“Gotta live up to my name somehow,” you joke, pulling away and leaving a cold patch in your wake. “But seriously, that’s all you get. We have to sleep.” 

“What, you don’t wanna see the cat anymore?” 

“I never said that!”

You’re way too easy, but he’d be the same exact way. The last time he got you both up to see your little gift, she wasn’t outside. Will she be there now? 

With tired muscles, you both get out of the bed, and he holds out his hand to guide your zigzag waddles through his apartment that he can finally breathe in. 

“Wait,” you halt with your arm. When Yoongi obeys with a look, you turn to him and show off how logical you are, “There’s probably glass still.” 

He nods, resting you against his door before fetching slippers from his closet. And it hurts like a bitch to lean down, but he slips your pair on so you don’t have to move. Rather him than you anyday. 

And that look of pure adoration he gets in return will always be fucking worth it. 

God. Things really are better when you’re here. 

He can’t believe how stupid he’s been. 

With the proper footwear, both of you slowly make your way through his place, and Yoongi shifts his vision around to check for any large shards of glass to navigate you around. Somehow, it looks like you got most of the damage out. But some tiny specks and chips still remain, and he notes to get them soon—

“If she’s not out there again, I’m gonna cry.”

Yoongi laughs before squeezing your fingers. “Me, too.”

Finally, you both get to the door, and his hand stays flat on the wooden striations for a little longer than necessary. 

How wild to think things could have gone to shit entirely. How foolish of him to even fight for you to leave. 

But, after a moment of him looking down at the doorknob and you giving him the space to pause, Yoongi opens the door and gives a small peek outside. 

Bingo. “Stay there,” he commands, and he leads you forward until you forget he’s there.

Because the damn cat now commands all your attention, lapping at a water bowl until she looks at you. There’s a moment when he knows she’s cautious, but it doesn’t last long before she’s curious enough to inch closer to your side of the door. 

Of course it wouldn’t take long. Yoongi knows how magnetic and gentle you’ve always been. Maybe if he didn’t resist it so fucking much before, he wouldn’t have had to separate himself in the first place. 

“You’re so little,” you whisper. “Hi, baby.”

He smiles down at you both as the little one sniffs at your finger, feeling a calmness in his heart that seems secure and permanent. Is he allowed to feel this way all the time? 

Maybe if he had done things right and told your brother everything first. And maybe he should stop digging this hole and stay in the moment, goddamn. 

“Do you have a name yet?” You ask her instead of him, scratching behind an ear and giggling at a purr. “Did your dad give you one?” 

…Dad? 

Yeah, digging that hole is probably smart. He’s gonna need a whole grave for that one. 

But Yoongi swallows before answering for the one that can’t speak, “I’ve just been calling her cat.” 

When you glare over your shoulder, it’s immensely more cute than intimidating, which causes him to laugh and the cat to scurry a bit away. “You named my cat Cat?”

“Nah, just nothing permanent. Figured you’d wanna do that.”

“We can do it together.” Lips pursed, you sit in thought as she comes back, plopping on her side so you can rub her belly. “It would mean more that way.” 

“Cat means cat,” Yoongi shrugs out, before promptly getting swatted at and laughing. “Yeah, yeah, okay. I’ll think about it.”

“Good.” You yawn before saying goodbye for now, and judging from the look of yearning on your face, Yoongi knows you’d rather bring her inside. “See you again soon, cat named Cat.”

Cute.

Maybe something short and sweet? Miss Dion has been calling him something a lot lately... And it could fit with how nice this cat is being around you. 

“Sugar.”

You peer up before blinking. “Wait, that's so cute. Where'd that come from?”

Well. You didn't say no, so he's sticking with it.

Smiling, Yoongi helps you up before you both step back inside. “I’ll explain in a bit.” 

That seems to quell any other conversation about it, so you let him lead you back to bed. 

Only he doesn’t do that. Instead, Yoongi leads you just a few steps forward, letting you both stand in the living room and take in the aftermath of his mania together.

Your hand comes down to grip his in a comforting hold, and his shoulders immediately relax. "I don't know what led to this," you start slow, rolling words around in your mouth and plucking them very carefully. Even though you don't need to. He deserves to hear your every critical thought. "But I wanna know..."

When Yoongi turns to face you, he isn't prepared for your question,

"Did it help at all?"

Mm.

It's not that he can't answer because it's too hard. The reason he can't answer you right away is because he doesn't quite know the real answer. Does he feel better because of what he did? Or because you're here, like he said before? "I'm not sure yet," he decides to respond truthfully.

Eyes slipping down to your fingers looped in his, Yoongi admits with quiet confidence, "But none of it mattered as soon as I saw you."

Once again, with one look, he finds himself swimming in those beautiful eyes. Because you don't see him with pity, or rage, or even disappointment. You just... see him. You accept him as he comes.

And one day, when he gets the courage to look you in the eyes long enough, he'll be able to see himself the way you do, too.

"Let's rest, my love," you whisper soft. "I'll yell at you in the morning, I'm too tired to do it now."

There it is.

Chuckling, Yoongi obliges, shivering at how you address him and following whatever you ask. "Good. You're the only one allowed to kick my ass."

"As it should be."

When he's the one that leads you to the bedroom, his heart beats strong. But when you're the one that tucks him into bed with a kiss to his forehead, Yoongi's pulse becomes so tender it robs him of words.

"Hey... I'll always be here, you know," you murmur, sliding a warm hand over his bangs. "Even if it doesn't feel like it, I'm right here. All you have to do is close your eyes, and just..."

When he does, the press of your lips on his damn near brings him to tears. He commits this feeling to every memory center lodged in his brain, and this moment instantly locks itself as one of his deepest, most cherished ever.

"Remember that."

Eyes flittering open, Yoongi softly brings you in for another kiss. "I will, doll."

Your smile gives him purpose. "Good."

And for the first time in months and despite a hurting side, Yoongi sleeps right til the time he has to wake up, without even a breath or pulse out of alignment.

Because his drift to sleep had been a peaceful one, and the only thing he dreamt, felt, or thought of was you.

And the way you told him you loved him.

-

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fin :')

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fugue thoughts!! we did it!! | join the server!

a/n: we freakin' did it i love them i love them i love them!! yoongi's whole interlude is done and it was a monster in itself. now we're back on to the main storyline and honestly i am both relieved and yet still so tender for this yoongi. of course, there are other big situations we have to get ourselves into, but we are in the home stretch of three tangerines so let's finish this all out with a bang bang bang and lights in the sky :')) ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ masterlist  ⇥ three tangerines masterlist

a/n 2: we did this for 3tanfugue3 and the energy was great! just like last time, some of you guys suggested that we have post goals to encourage interaction. no one voted against it last time (honestly, you guys were super encouraging so thank you!) so let's go again!

"So pretty," he coos as he leans over you, his big body pressing you deeper into the couch as your bottoms lie discarded on the floor.

You whine his name shyly in response, cheeks pink and hair a mess on the cushion behind you. Namjoon's bare chest brushes your hardened nipples, and you moan at the contact.

"Love seeing you all flushed like this," he murmurs as he gazes down at you, eyes half-lidded and hungry. His thick cock stands hard against his stomach, the tip red and leaking in the stuffy air of his studio.

It's hot. Sickeningly so. Summers in Seoul are not for the weak, and with the AC busted and Namjoon’s warm body pressing against yours, you're slick with sweat and your mind is hazy.

But all the discomfort fades the moment Namjoon sinks his cock into your dripping pussy.

"Joon," you gasp, hands flying to his arms. You grip hard, nails leaving behind little crescent shaped indents in the skin.

You've been together for years, but every time you fuck, it feels like the first time all over again. You often tease Namjoon that his cock was made for you, but as your toes curl at the sensation of being filled, you don't think it's a joke anymore.

His cock is perfectly curved, hitting that spot inside you just enough for your thoughts to dissolve. The fat vein that runs along the underside of his only adds to the feeling of being split open.

"Baby," Namjoon groans back, hands smoothing up your sides instinctively. You shudder, incoherent gasps and whimpers leaving you as he presses in deeper.

"Ngh—Nam—" you mewl, his name dying on your tongue. Namjoon's eyes flutter at the feeling of your pussy tightening around him, and it only gets worse when he starts to move.

"Shit," he hisses, pulling out halfway before slamming back in. You cry out, clenching around him more and causing his hips to stutter.

"You're squeezing the life out of me," he breathes, rocking into you slowly. His damp hair sticks to his forehead as he gazes down at you, eyes flicking between your face and bouncing breasts.

The pace is torturous, and Namjoon knows it too. He smirks as a pathetic whimper slips from your still-swollen lips from when you'd sucked him off earlier. Your entire body trembles with anticipation as your hands slide to his chest, clawing at his skin desperately.

"Please," you manage, arching into him. "I need—" Your voice cuts into a garbled moan when his fingers graze your clit, featherlight.

"Hmm? Need what?" Namjoon teases, although he knows exactly what it is.

"More," you huff, fingers catching on the silver chain dangling from his neck. You pull him forward by it, his nose brushing yours. "Need more, Joonie." Your lips jut out in a soft pout, begging.

"Jesus, sweetheart," he groans, overwhelmed by the look on your face. Your eyes are soft and full, lips parted as you whine. His hands slide under your knees before you realize what he's doing.

"Oh—"

Namjoon adjusts your position carefully, setting your legs over his shoulders so you're folded in half under him. The mating press drives his cock deeper, pressing the head firmly against that sensitive spot inside you.

"Ah—ah—" You've lost the ability to speak, eyes rolling into the back of your skull as Namjoon snaps his hips quickly, the couch shaking from the force of his movements.

"Look at you," Namjoon breathes, voice equally wrecked and awed. His forehead rests against your foot, sweat-slick skin sliding together. "Taking me so well. Every inch."

You try to respond, but all that comes out is a string of broken moans as his cock grinds deliciously against your sensitive walls. Stars burst behind your eyes.

"Yeah?" He kisses your ankle, gentle even as his thrusts grow deeper. "You love this, don't you? Just letting me use this pretty pussy."

"Mmmyes." The syllables slur together as you blink through sudden tears, feeling so good that you can't help but cry.

Namjoon’s face softens briefly when he sees you crying over his dick, your lashes sitting heavy against your cheeks. "Aww." His thumb wipes lightly under your eyes. "Think I broke my girl."

Your response is something reminiscent of his name, and he chuckles softly. He leans down, his chain tapping your chin as he captures your lips in a brusing kiss.

You gasp into it, his tongue sweeping into your mouth to taste your helplessness. When he breaks the kiss, his breath fans hot against your lips. "Soaking me like the good girl you are."

He doesn't even give you a chance to recover. His fingers find your clit again, rubbing firm circles. The sensation makes heat coil low in your belly before it spikes, making your vision blur at the edges.

"C-close!" you gasp weakly, nails raking down his back. The lewd sounds of his thrusts fill the studio, his heavy balls clapping loudly against your ass.

Thank God for soundproof walls.

"Already?" Namjoon teases lovingly, but his thrusts start to falter as your pussy flutters around him rhythmically. "Gonna fill you up. You want that, don't you?"

You nod frantically. "Uh-huh, pleasepleaseplease—"

He doesn't stop rubbing your clit, not even after you let out a sob. "So perfect. So tight. Made for my cock."

The combination of his hands on you and his words pushes you over the edge. Your mouth falls open in a silemt scream as your entire body locks up. All you can feel is the relentless clench and release of your pussy as you cream around his cock.

The moment your orgasm rips through you, Namjoon's composure shatters.

"Fuck—" he rasps, his rhythm falling into short, hard thrusts that steal the air from your lungs. "That's it, baby. Gonna make me cum too."

You barely register his words, still drunk on your climax, the room fuzzy. The only sound you manage is a tiny, pleading whimper. That's all the answer he needs.

Groaning your name, Namjoon slams into you one last time, burying himself to the hilt. He stills as his cock pulses, his cum coating your walls. You feel it filling you, thick and hot, warming your already hot body.

He's breathing hard, chest heaving as your legs shake around his shoulders. The weight of him practically melts you into the couch, your body pliant.

Namjoon's gaze is tender now despite the mess he's made of you. He strokes your cheekbone with his thumb, soothing.

"You good, sweetheart?"

You smile up at him, all teary-eyed and affectionate. Only Namjoon would get all soft after completely rearranging your insides.

"M' good," you mumble, still dazed.

Namjoon smiles, dimples deepening. "I'm glad, baby."

He stays inside you for a long moment, letting the connection linger, before slowly pulling out. The loss of him followed by the trickle of cum down your thigh makes you shudder.

Namjoon’s already reaching for you, pulling you into his arms and pressing soft kisses to the top of your head.

"Joonie," you grumble, squirming in his arms. "I'm all sticky and hot."

"Still wanna take care of my girl, though," he replies immediately.

You can't even argue with that when you hear the smile in his voice.

Namjoon cleans you you up with a damp cloth from the bathroom down the hall, kissing your thighs every time they twitch in sensitivity. He strokes your hair back and gently blows cool air on your face, muttering about how he's already called maintenance twice about the AC.

And all you can do is grin like an idiot at Namjoon because hearing him rant about something as mundane as AC mechanics only makes you fall deeper in love with him.

When Jungkook wakes you, you don't even realize you fell asleep until you hear him calling your name softly. "See, I knew you needed a break."

Your lips curved into a pout, your eyes squinting as you took in your boyfriend standing over you with a smirk. He wasn't wearing headphones anymore, but his monitors were still up, showing a moving background of cherry blossoms falling from a tree. "What time is it?" Your eyes moved to the clock, and you blinked at the time staring back at you. You slept for three hours.

"I ordered some takeout, by the way." Your gaze flickered back to Jungkook, and your lips twitched into a knowing smile.

"Chen's Garden?" It was the local Chinese restaurant nearest to your campus, and also one of your favorites. You were already imagining the fried rice and mandu you could eat as you continued your paper, but it was like Jungkook could read your mind.

"No, no paper - you're taking a break."

"I took a break! I napped. You made me nap!"

Jungkook rolled his eyes, and you followed his actions, crossing your arms defiantly.

"Your body made you nap, not me- don't be stubborn."

"Don't be bossy-"

"I'm not-" You tried to get up, and Jungkook cut himself off to push you back down. "Stay down. Relax, you're working too hard."

"Look, bossy." You huffed, and Jungkook narrowed his eyes, wiggling his nose at you.

"Fine, I'm bossy, but I will tie you down if I need to. Your paper can wait one day." Jungkook didn't even give you the chance to rebut; he simply climbed into bed with you, caging you between him and the mattress. His hands rested on either side of your head, and his hips nestled between your legs, making your cheeks flush as he gave you another smirk. "Don’t be stubborn, be good for me."

That simple little instruction seemed to short-circuit your brain. Any resistance you previously had was replaced with thoughts of the last time your boyfriend told you that you were good for him. You lowkey hated how easily his words could affect you. Your eyelashes fluttered as you gave another pout.

"You know you're going to have to get off me at some point to grab the takeout," you mumbled, and Jungkook huffed a laugh. He could see the color darkening in your cheeks, and that you were no longer meeting his eyes as you moved your gaze just over his shoulder.

"Yeah? I think I still have time to convince you to follow my orders, though."

"Your orders?" You echoed and felt a little pool of warmth begin to form in your lower stomach. You were acutely aware that Jungkook was still crowded over you, his hips keeping your legs open as he looked down at you with a grin.

"Yeah, plus I still haven't rewarded you for behaving earlier-" His face came closer, his eyes flickering to your lips as he hummed. "Do you want your reward?" His lips were so close to yours, you could feel your own lips tingle, the need for more heating you up as you nodded your head dumbly with a soft mumble.

"What's my reward?"

Jungkook doesn't answer you with words; instead, his lips press into yours, and all your thoughts melt as his body sinks into you - keeping you trapped. He kisses you like it's the first time, or like it'll be the last, his head tilting, deepening your kiss until you're clutching onto him as if he might leave. But he would never. Not when your body reacts to him so well, you're already mindlessly tugging on his sweatshirt, your thighs squeezing his hips as he coaxes you to open your mouth with his tongue.

His groan earns a whine from you, and his hips roll forward to grind his hardening cock against your covered pussy, jumbling your thoughts again as he begins to kiss down your neck with slow fervor.

He makes you forget about your paper, about college, about your job, and everything else - you're unable to focus on anything but the hitch in his breath as he grinds into you with slow rolls that make you feel how much you affect him as he does to you.

His lips suck just under your earlobe, his tongue wetting the skin and making you arch prettily for him, just as his hands slide under your shirt to map the way your body curves as his teeth brand a love bite into your skin. “Don’t want to get up now, do you?” He mumbles, and your head falls back into the pillows as he pushes your shirt up, exposing your pretty tits.

If you normally spent the weekend at his, you did so comfortably, foregoing the bra, and usually wearing just one of his old t-shirts unless you two left his dorm. It made it easy access for him to touch, to admire, and most importantly, to kiss whenever he wanted to, and right now? He really wanted to.

His head dips, and his hand sneaks around your waist and up your back to arch you up to his hungry mouth. He groans the same time you gasp as his wet tongue swirls one of your nipples into his warm mouth, sucking on it until you are tingling all the way down to your pussy.

“Jungkook- mmmph!” Your moans get breathier the more his mouth stays on you, making new waves of your arousal seep between your thighs.

He takes his time to suck while his hands slide down your waist and under your thighs, spreading you open while he moves to give your other breast the same attention. When he’s satisfied, he gives you a lazy grin while your eyes gloss over, and he leans back down to give you another sweet kiss.

“Stay in bed with me, and I’ll make it worth your while, Baby.” He murmurs, and you wonder how you got such a hot nerd until you see just how much his ears burn red, reminding you he’s still the same man who stuttered when he first talked to you.

The duality makes your head spin, and you don’t notice that he’s dragging your shorts and panties down your legs until his shoulders rest between your thighs and his eyes sparkle as he takes in your pretty pussy up close.

“JK-“ your words fail the moment his tongue parts your puffy folds with a long stroke, stopping just at your clit to make your brain fog up and your mouth drop. But it’s JK who moans first, hot and heavy as your slick coats his tongue. You’re sweet and addictive, as always, and his eyes roll when your hand finds the back of his head to pull him closer to your drooling cunt.

“Yeah, keep saying my name-“ He mumbled, his voice muffled by the fat of your thighs. He dives his tongue in deeper, spreading your lips to get a better taste of your arousal, and making your head tilt back to face the ceiling.

One of your hands stays curled in his dark hair, keeping him to you, even though you are sure you’ll have to be the one to pull him off you soon enough, and the other clutches the Bakugo plushie you forgot you had been holding in your sleep as the room fills with the sounds of your moans and Jungkook’s sloppy kisses to your cunt.

Jungkook gets drunk off your pussy easily, the feeling of your gummy walls fluttering around his tongue as you whine his name is enough to make his hips press down onto the mattress underneath him. And there had been a few occasions he’d cum untouched, just like this, as your thighs squeezed his head and your hips rolled up to his hungry mouth. But today, he plans to last longer, wanting to keep you in his bed while he makes sure you relax.

Each whimper and whine he pulls out of you has his cock splurting a few gooey wads of his precum onto his boxers, which he ruts against his bed, unwilling to part from your glossy cunt as he suck, slurps, and kisses himself pussydrunk between your thighs. Soon enough, his tongue swirls around your clit, writing out his name while his fingers sink into your entrance, stretching you all the way down to the knuckle with ease.

When his fingertips caress the familiar spongey spot inside your wet channel, your vision whitens, and your moans grow louder - just as Jungkook wants. He focuses on it with a mean precision, working your orgasm faster so that it makes your cries of his name choke off into wet gurgles as your eyes cross lewdly.

"Just like in the hentais," He smirks, and the lower half of his face gleams with your sweet slick like a badge of honor. "C'mon, pretty girl, want you to cum for me." He coos, and he stuffs you with a third finger, reducing you into a blabbering mess as he leans his head back down to flick his tongue on your pulsing clit - matching the pace of his fingers thrusting into you.

And it's all you need to fall apart. Your eyes roll back as your mouth drops open and the warmth in your stomach bursts, gushing your orgasm onto your boyfriend's waiting tongue with a squeal. Your thighs tremble throughout it all, and Jungkook's head gets squished between them as he continues to fuck you. His fingers feel every squeeze of your velvety walls, and your clit gets lapped by his fat tongue until you push on his forehead to get him off your sensitive cunt.

That's when he finally lets you go, grinning like your slick wasn't dripping down his chin as you tried to catch your breath.

With perfect timing, a knock is heard, and Jungkook is licking his lips as he gets off the bed. "That's the takeout. You stay here, I'll grab the food, and we can eat in bed, okay?" Jungkook talks to you as the ringing in your ears slowly subsides, and he flashes you another beaming smile as he squeezes your ankle affectionately. "And then after we eat, I'm going to fuck you- then you really won't be leaving my bed until tomorrow morning."

You don't even have time to respond, only noticing a dark stain blooming on his black sweatpants as he bounds out of the bedroom to grab the food as he planned.

대박 - you made it to the end!

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