Me: βHow can I help you today, ma'am?β Client: βIs e-mail internetβ? Me: βI beg your pardon?β Client: βIs e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?β Me: βWell yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.β Client: βOh, dear. I canβt see my e-mail.β Me: βWell, letβs see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?β Client: βOpen what?β Me: βYour browser, can you open up your browser?β Client: βMyβ¦myβ¦?β Me: βWhat you click on when you want to browse the internet?β Client: βI donβt use anything, I just turn my computer on, and itβs there.β Me: βOkay. Do you see the little blue βeβ icon on your desktop?β Client: βYou mean I have to start writing letters again?β Me: βIβmβ¦what, Iβm sorry?β Client: βI donβt have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.β Me: βNo, ma'am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue βeβ on your computer screen for me?β Client: βOh, this is too much work. Iβm too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Canβt you send me my e-mail?β Me: βWeβ¦okay, ma'am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?β Client: βMy what?β Me: βThe little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now - itβs most likely near your computer?β
Client: βLights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.
Me: βMy test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what youβre seeing on your computer screen?β Client: βItβs been the same thing for the last two hours.β Me: βAn error message?β Client: βNo, just stars. Itβs black and moving stars.β Me: ββ¦Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?β Client: βYes.β
Me: βMove it for me.β Client: βMove it?β Me: βYes. Move it.β Client: βMy e-mail!β
This post gave me a fucking ulcer.
You meet people like this at the library. People who have been coming in every day for YEARS to use the computers and monopolize your time with conversations like this, that seem to go out of their way to avoid listening to anything you try to teach them because theyβd rather you just do it for them.
So one day, this tiny, frail little woman comes to the desk with a huge folder of papers under her arm. She says βI need to use one of the computers,β and Iβm like βalright, Iβll set you up with a guest account.β
And then she says βIβll also need you to show me how to use a computer. Iβm 97 years old and Iβve never even touched one before, but I need to file my health information and they told me I needed to do it using this,β and she holds out a little scrap of paper with a url scrawled on it in a shaky hand.
And Iβm just mentally like βoh no,β but I say of course I can help her. So I sit her down and sign her in, and she stops me to ask basically what the mouse is, and I explain it, but Iβm just thinking that this is going to take a million years. But I start doing a quick and dirty run down of the parts of the computer, the programs, the desktop, what a url is and what the Internet is, what a search engine is, what websites are, and so on.
She doesnβt interrupt or ask any questions or anything, and then Iβm like βokay letβs go to this urlβ and itβs an interactive, multi-page form that she needs to put all that info in her folder into and submit, and Iβm just terrified as Iβm explaining it that Iβm going to spend all day with this woman.
But sheβs just like βalright. I think Iβve got it.β And she must have had a secretary job back in the typewriter days, because she just *whips* through the first page of the form and submits and goes on to the next, and tells me sheβll find me if she needs me.
She came over once to tell me she needed an email address and wanted to know how to set one up - I told her about her options and she picked Gmail and went back to the computer and set it up all by herself, and got her information all filed properly in about an hour and a half β and sheβd NEVER used a computer before in her LIFE.
When she was done, she came over to ask me how to turn it off and I showed her and she thanked me for being so patient, and I told her quite honestly that Iβd NEVER seen a novice adult pick up using a computer so fast.
And she said βoh, but itβs so simple! And so useful! My grandkids made it sound so difficult, but Iβm going to pick up my own computer tomorrow!β
And I think she must have, because I never saw her in the library again.
Anyway I hope Iβm that quick when Iβm 97.
^ thank you for sharing this very positive experience because the experience from OP really gave me a headache. it was nice to end on a positive note.. gives hope
Itβs not our fault if costumers are little John Snow...We are traching you something so LISTEN to us!

















