guy doing a furniture tier list: i think beds are slept on

the doctor diagnost me with horrible horrible horrible pig's disorder

if karl marx was born today he would be a baby. and it would be his birthday

In 1950s america, milk was so prized that it was common to let the milkman fuck your wife in exchange for a bottle. Today, milk is no more

female dogs barking at mailwomen is always so upsetting to me like...now more than ever, shouldnt women be working together?

Honestly, referring to English as an unintelligible jumble of languages rather than a proper language in and of itself is.... incredibly appropriate.

women are better to date than men because if you ask your girlfriend to get a spider away she’ll gently carry it out of the house but if you ask your boyfriend he’ll just snatch up the spider with his long and extendable frog-like tongue and swallow it whole without chewing (regardless of the size of the spider)

I feel dehydrated,,,,,*drinks red wine*