im bear boyin' it + a boy bearin' it

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

Following are photos of some of the numbered responses across multiple images, reading:

7. always queer, finally dyke, a run-of-the-mill hermaphrodite mom.

8. a born again woman.

9. A God+Godess, part of everything, owned by nothing.

10. I think... I am a female fag, who is a drag Queen, who is a mother, has a soon to be transman lover and may very well be a tranny hisself. I hate labels it's all so complicated, but I think it fits the bill today. Change is good right?

25. FTM transgendered bulldagger, gentleman stone butch dyke with fag tendencies. Or as my girlfriend says, a drag queen trapped in a man trapped in a woman's body.

26. I'm a bi-gendered boychick with balls and boobs. Call me Ken, or call me Barbie–same doll, different packaging; some assembly required; sex, clothing and accessories sold separately; available in fine boy-tiques everywhere.

39. I'm The Dyke of Androgyny... i get called sir more than maam, despite the sizable mammary glands protruding from my chest. The hair on my head is the shortest found on my body, a gentle societal mindfuck, if you will.

40. Transsexual dyke, submissive pervert, percussion fetishist, computer geek, and subversive queermonger.

41. Just another brassy womyn who happened to be born with a penis.

42. Two-spirit mixed-blood transgender working-class sober queer boy dyke daddy.

51. oh shit, butch, female bodied, human persona-ed, male appearing, daddy, momma’s boy, mother fucker, cross dressing, gentleman, top, smooth talking, dirty minded, nasty fingered, lover of women ... is one of the things I am.

52. A big leather dyke on a big fucking bike.

53. Radical redheaded, depends on what day of the week it is, Femme/Mommy/Daddy/ 8 yr. old/ beautific grrl Dyke.

54. Omnisexual, omnigendered pervert fag transman in a biofemale body.

63. here are 3 [definitions] I occasionally use for myself, even though I'm not satisfied with any of 'em. If you like 'em, use 'em: -openly transsexual leather faggot without a cock -ftm ts, mtf dq (digital queer) -zeroboy in the city of the queen of angels

64. a bigendered, bisexual (or perhaps pangendered and pansexual) switch, a gay/bi FTM drag queen (transfagdrag)!

70. A constant flow: a journey from one way of thinking, to the wide open expression of what it really means to be me. or... militant-feminist female-2-male butch genderfuk daddy transexual fag

104. Veterinarian, cowboy, wrangler wearing, shirt free when able, man who for some time lived as what our society viewed as a woman.

105. Fence-straddling, Bridge-burning, machoflaming bisexual prettyboy faggotdude– a singer of the high and the low

106. Sexy, sensual, good– looking guy who just so happened to be born female but is working to change that!

107. Happily recovering from the dark world of unknown to the world of light. Enjoying the life I knew was always inside, could never hide, & letting others see the "real” me! I smile & laugh so much now, I’m another person! I hope to see the day when others are able to shine in their light!