bash

sebastian ‘bash’ landry: an updated intro !

since it has been literally like 9 months since i posted his most recent intro, here is a new updated one for anyone who has not kept up with bash’s crazy dumb life. yeet

tw drugs, alcoholism, death, violence, jail, dumbassery

Billie didn’t get to punch people and get punched. She didn’t get to participate in the kind of toxic masculinity Bash did that allowed him to repress his feelings. Usually she existed in a dull mood, never too extreme one way or another. Drinking kept everything at bay. The pain of her birthday seemed to cause it all to boil over, the way Valentine’s Day did. Instead of tears, rage filled her this time. It wasn’t just that he forgot her birthday - it was that even after their conversation, he still refused to let her in. It was the clear decision, knowing she would never judge him, knowing she would only ever be there for him, to continue to leave her in the dark. He said he wanted to be better, and she believed it. “Don’t ask me to calm down the one and only time I’ve ever gotten upset with you.” She shook her head voice dropping in volume. Billie never fought with Bash. She never gave him a hard time for anything. Her eyes found him at his. “I’ve never gotten upset with you - even when you’ve been shit, Bash. I know you fucked Anna.” She pressed her lips together, eyebrows raising. Secrets were hard to keep in a small town. “And guess what, I let it go, but I sure as hell know if I fucked someone you were in love with you’d be a big fucking baby about it.” Her finger pressed against his chest.

Her eyes rolled at his not so subtle attempt at a cover up. “Oh, relax.” Billie honestly didn’t care about keeping his secrets right now. She didn’t care about much at all besides burying the nagging feelings inside of her. “Maybe I don’t give a shit about what you want.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not going to be the girl you use your whole life for a fun time to distract you from your real life. I am not going to do it, Bash.” He continued to make her feel like the least important person in his life. Not because of her birthday, because somehow the girl he dated for 6 months knew him better than her.

.

This was not what he needed right now after the weeks he’d had but it didn’t seem to matter. It was what she needed. Was he just too tired to repond the way she wanted him to? What was even the reaction she wanted? ❛ The fuck you want me to do then? I have apologized! Jesus fuck... ❜ Of course she knew about Anna and just hadn’t mentioned it. That hook up had had nothing to do with Billie. It had barely had anything to do with Anna. Bash cared about her, both of them, but that one night had been about Jamie - who was Anna’s cousin and that only made it even worse. Did Jamie know too? Didn’t fucking matter now, did it? She wasn’t the one standing in front of him yelling. ❛ Yeah well... That-- fuck tha’. I wouldn’t. Go screw Lily for all I care! ❜ Would that hurt? Maybe a little but having Billie sleep with his ex actually felt better than the flowers in Lily’s home being from someone trying to woo her. Would she move on that fast? Don’t think about it. The last thing he needed was to imagine things that weren’t even necessarily true. 

He didn’t move at all when Billie’s fingers pressed against his chest; standing his ground he just looked at her, fighting the urge to grab her wrist to calm her down but the way she so recklessly threw out the fact that he was a possible dealer wasn’t exactly inducing anything but paranoia in him that someone had put the pieces together and cared enough to rat his ass out. ❛ No one ever gives a shit about what I want. Wha’d’you want? Punch me? Then punch me, ❜ he said loudly, raising his brows as he leaned down closer to her. ❛ But don’t go ‘round yellin’ things that could put me away because then I’m really fuckin’ gone, Billie, ❜ he added in a low hiss. He backed up against the wall again, sighing in annoyance while dragging a hand over his face and pinching the bridge of his nose. ❛ You think I’m using you? This is my real life. I can smoke on my own, I don’t need you there but I want you there. Big ass difference. ❜ She might have been in the beginning; a distraction from his mother’s death, from everything, but not anymore. Not after over a decade. He could have found someone else, anyone, but he didn’t want anyone. She’d always been there and he still wanted her by his side. What the fuck was she on about? Was she having a bad trip on something? ❛ I told you I fuckin’ love ya’, dude. Just because I forget y’birthday and close up don’t mean I’m using you. I’m doin’ it for myself and if I wanna be selfish to not break down then let me. You know how it is, don’t fuckin’ tell me you don’t. ❜

location: roadside on the olympic peninsula

with: @bashlandry​​

Summer had always been a particularly busy time for Sanem in general, typically on the work front and her occasional planned ventures to whatever destination she randomly chose on a map. This year certainly hadn’t shaped up to be any different, however with the additive of her honeymoon, plus moving into a new home and the new redesign project for the studio, how she managed to have time to sit and breathe was any wonder. Luckily though, she’d been on top of things ahead of the game, at least in terms of Momentum and the academy, so after spending the last few days in New York choreographing a video, found herself with a slot of free time. Decidedly spending some of it to go on another bike trip with Bash, not having much a chance to talk or hang out since the wedding and the weather was nice enough to allow for the day. Both stopping part way through the Olympic Loop grabbing some food at the closest store before picking a nearby spot to just chill and eat. ❝ So, ❞ She began through a hum, one hand hovering over her mouth a moment while finishing off the bite of her sub. ❝ How was your own getaway to Canada – not too chaotic I imagine, at least haven’t heard about anyone getting banned from the country recently. ❞

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closed starter for @bashlandry location: lily’s porch, goldfinch valley

It felt like something out of a romance novel: a woman with a glass of wine in one hand, the other holding a pen to the pages of a journal as she sat on the sofa while the sun shone through the windows. Lily had recently taken up journaling, an old hobby she’d abandoned in grad school. One corgi curled up at her feet and the other on her lap, she felt truly at peace for the first time in weeks. A ring of the doorbell alerted her and the dogs to the door, who could if have been? Lily wasn’t expecting any deliveries, and Matheus wasn’t supposed to meet her until the next day. Cautiously checking the cameras to see who it was, her heart sped up in her chest as she saw Bash Landry standing on her porch. 

Hey, I hope you’re doing well. I put together a box with your stuff that’s still at my place, I can leave it by Ravi if you want to collect it there or you can let me know if you want someone to get it from my home or office. Just let me know so we can make arrangements. Thanks, Bash.

That was the last text she had sent, no response had been received from him. Not until she looked through the peephole and saw him standing there on her porch. Was he as nervous as she had been? That was why she’d suggested that someone else facilitate the exchange of belongings between the former lovers, but it seemed like Bash wanted to get it over and done with. “One minute,” she called out, quickly running upstairs and retrieving the light box of Bash’s clothing and other items that he’d left at her place. Making her way downstairs, the woman inhaled before opening the door, the sight of him in front of her rendering her speechless. How had he been? Was he seeing someone new like she was? Most importantly, was he happy?

Instead of asking the questions, Lily hastily pushed the box into his hands, letting go and stepping back to put some space between them. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you still ignore texts,” the woman joked dryly with a shrug. How could she both have so much she wanted to say to him, yet not want to say anything more? “I think I got everything in there, thanks for coming by…” the sentence trailed off, with her unsure of what else to say. The wounds from their breakup were still fresh; she may have been the one to cut ties, but she would argue that Bash placed the scissors in her hands. It was just their time to go their separate ways - so why did it hurt so much?

“Did you take an Uber?” Lily asked, not seeing a waiting car within their vicinity nor Bash’s trademark motorcycle. “You’re welcome to wait on the porch for your ride, if you want…” she trailed off, the polite hostess inside of her having been conditioned to invite him inside. But her home was her safe space, and Bash was no longer someone she wanted to have a presence within that. Nodding with a tight-lipped smile and squaring her shoulder, Lily turned and was about to head back inside, assuming that Bash would be fine for five minutes on his own. 

.

After seeing her text while sitting at that bar in Canada Bash had almost completely forgotten about it until he was int he car on the way back with Nate - something he absolutely hadn’t expected to happen. Even though the message had said she could leave it at Ravi’s or anything along those lines, he listened to Nate’s advice to talk to her himself and figured he could get his stuff at the sametime, so now there he was; on her porch with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, swinging a little on his heels as he waited for her to open the door. 

His lips pressed together while he tried his best to keep his heart at a normal pace. Tongue darted out to lick his lips nervously when he heard her call from inside and about a minute or so later he was staring right down at her, a box of items pushed into his arms, pulling his hands from his pockets to grab it while his brows raised. ❛ Kinda... Forgot. Sorry, ❜ he explained in a mutter, a little surprised as he looked down at the box, checking what was inside because honestly he’d forgotten most of it was at Lily’s. Was she in a hurry? Pissed off? Fuck, she was pretty. ❛ Uh--- thanks. ❜

Bash swallowed hard, blinking at her question.❛ No... Walked, ❜ he shrugged, the box following his movements. A fucking uber? Why would he take an uber? He’d had a lot on his mind lately, that was for sure. Walking always felt nice to clear his head and to be honest, he wasn’t completely sober so he’d left his bike standing but Lily didn’t need to know the reason why. ❛ I’ll walk back, it’s fine. ❜ Shaking his head, his eyes left the soft features of her face for a moment to gaze into the hallway behind her, spotting a fresh bouquet of flowers. It was definitely possible she’d bought them for herself, right? Still, his stomach turned a little at the thought of her already moving on and a soft sigh left his lips when he looked back to her. His hands were itching to hold her and not the damn box he didn’t really give a shit about. It was just stuff. 

❛ How’re you? ❜

Lily could’ve tried all she wanted, but there was no excuse for the fact that she would rather spend time with Landon during her birthday week than Bash because at least with the former, it didn’t feel like a ticking time bomb until an argument ruined everything. “You leave town on a whim with friends all the time, but the one time I want to do it it’s a problem?” Lily retorted, her bottom lip quivering as she tried to formulate a sentence. She knew that, had roles been reversed, she would’ve been rather upset at Bash about it. It was unfair, but she felt as though it was ultimately her choice — and the fact that she made this one was all the more reason the pair should no longer be together. “I have always defended you when it came to Landon and my own family, but I want to know – can you say that you did the same for me with your siblings when they disrespected me? Or your friends who didn’t like me?” She honestly didn’t know which answer she hoped for, or which would make her feel better at this point. 

Bash’s reaction to the news was all that Lily needed to confirm that he wasn’t ready for parenthood, and she didn’t know if he truly would be. Was it truly a surprise, given Lily’s prior mentions of motherhood in the future and how it was something she definitely wanted along with marriage? “I care a lot, I don’t want to be with someone long term whose future goals don’t align with mine,” she responded flatly, blinking in surprise at the impact of the empty beer bottle falling to the ground. Brown eyes followed it as it rolled, in an attempt to avoid eye contact with Bash. How did they fall apart, but the glass bottle stayed intact? “I am being nice about it because I respect you, and I was hoping to get the same in return,” she mentioned flatly, staring off into the distance. Just because his emotions were valid didn’t mean that Lily enjoyed being yelled at or having her integrity questioned. “I’m tired of fighting with you, I don’t want to have to wonder about when the next fallout would be. And I know that that’s not entirely on you, that I’m also at fault; but I’m not going to stay in a relationship with you when we could both be happier with other people. Or on our own,” she admitted, knowing that their relationship was still full of happy memories up until the wedding. But the honeymoon stage always came to an end eventually. 

As though he hadn’t just yelled at her, Bash was now declaring his love and his desire to make it work. But Lily had seen all she needed to at that point. “Please don’t say that anymore, I don’t want to hear it.” The words were spoken softly, but with a bite that she’d never used with him before. “I have to go, I have something else to do.” A lie, one crafted on the spot so that she wouldn’t have to spend a moment longer in that apartment with her now ex-boyfriend. Pulling her hand from his and not even looking at him, Lily picked her handbag off of the couch and headed to the door, only turning around to face him once there was some distance between them. A forced tight-lipped smile crossed her features, wanting his last memory of her to be somewhat positive in spite of everything that had transpired before. “I hope things work out for you, I guess this is goodbye. Take care, Bash.” And with those final words, Lily turned the doorknob and slipped out of the apartment, holding back the tears until she reached her car.

.

❛ Because you asked me to hang out with you! ❜ He countered.As far as he knew, he’d never left town when she had something planned for the two of them or he had asked her to be free. Bash knew he had a lot of faults but he failed to see what he’d done for her to just completely ignore what they talked about at the wedding when everything was actually going smoothly and then she’d booked a trip with someone else over her birthday. It was her birthday but he wanted to be there, like she’d been there on his. ❛ I fuckin’ tried alright? But I can’t do everything and you don’t need to defend me to your parents either, and definitely not Landon. He’ll never like me and I’m fine with it, ❜ he said, arms expressive and voice kind of loud but not yelling. It had been like that with Landon for years, long before him and Lily were even anything remotely romantic. Sure, it got worse when that happened but it didn’t bother Bash as much as his family not loving her seemed to mess with her head. They tried. Bash knew they tried. They better fucking have been.

Lily made good points, he had to admit that, but he didn’t want them to be true. His mind didn’t see many futures. Not because they didn’t exist, just because he figured it would all work out in the end. He wanted to see her though but the image was fading quickly as she kept explaining herself, kept giving reasons to leave. ❛ Lil... ❜ he exhaled, closing his eyes for a moment. I want to be happy with you. Why did she have to go? 

Bash opened his mouth to say it again --- I love you --- even when she declared she didn’t want to hear it but stopped when she pulled her hand from his and he pressed his lips together, jaw clenching to keep his eyes from flooding further. He wanted to protest, like a child, kick and scream and slam doors, throw the bottle of bee out a window, but when she moved out to the hallway and said goodbye he stood up but was then paralyzed with the realization that this was where he got arrested too after he told her he loved her. It was where she’d told him back weeks later. It all felt like yesterday. 

And there he stood again as the door closed behind her and he swallowed hard. ❛ Bye... ❜ he choked out in a whisper into the empty space, standing there for a few moments before he fell back on the couch with his face resting in his hands, tears flooding his eyes without anything holding it back. She was gone.