Barkin Twins!

Send an emoji for our muses to:

🥳 Throw a surprise party for my muse!

🎊 Put up party decorations together

🧹 Take down party decorations together

🎉 Play party games!

💜 Have a small get-together

🎈 Inhale helium from leftover balloons

🪅 Beat up a piñata

🎂 Bake a cake

🎁 Open presents

🎶 Sing happy birthday to my muse

✨️ Take my muse somewhere special!

👴 Tease my muse about how old they've gotten

🍽 Have a fancy birthday dinner

📝 Plan a party together

‼️ Figure out it's my muse's birthday on the day of because they don't tell anyone

🍦 Go around town getting all the free birthday treats from restaurants

“He’ll probably do like Dad does when he’s on missions sometimes,” Dallas replied, his posture bent and eyes half-shut. He was quite sleepy, having been restless the night before. “He’ll stop by real quick an’ say hi, an’ then head off again.” He paused. “But yeah, I do kinda hope we can see ‘m for a while.”

Amberly opened her mouth, but she didn’t get a word out before she straightened, almost like a hunting dog, and raised a paw off the ground. “Dallas, c’mon! He’s here!”

Dallas was faster, despite his twin having noticed Zek coming first, and, yapping, leapt up and landed against his stomach, clinging to him with a wagging tail and a huge smile. Amberly hopped up and down at his legs, her mouth open in a dog-smile pant, and also started barking.

“Uncle Zek!!” Amberly cried, pawing repeatedly at his knees, “it’s been FOREVER!! I’m sorry we haven’t been here in so long!”

Dallas stretched his head up and licked Zek’s face, but he only reached his mask. “Yeah- Mom’s been keepin’ us in Heaven for, like, way too long ‘cause she caught us tryna sneak out. I dunno what the big deal is! Annabelle brought us to Florida one time…”

The puppies had no idea yet of what had happened with Oaklyn shortly after she’d finally come to Heaven, or what Charlie had gone through to bring her home; as a result, Dallas was rather frustrated. Amberly… was not.

“No, dummy, Mama caught YOU tryin’ ‘ta sneak out! You just kept bugging me t’ come with you ‘cause Evie was too nervous. So we BOTH got grounded.”

Wait for the delivery man to drop off whatever. You can trust me.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ💋ɞ˚‧｡⋆  𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝  𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫  𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 (pt. 2)

[  TXT  ]  :  i’m  outside.  don’t  look  out  the  window.

[  TXT  ]  :  hypothetical.  if  i  stole  a  horse.  would  you  help.

[  TXT  ]  :  emergency.  answer  immediately.  do  you  trust  me?

[  TXT  ]  :  say  you’re  home  alone  right  now.

[  TXT  ]  :  don’t  panic.  but  where  did  you  put  the  spare  key.

[  TXT  ]  :  are  you  awake?  this  cannot  wait  until  morning.

[  TXT  ]  :  quick  question.  how  attached  are  you  to  your  car?

[  TXT  ]  :  okay  listen.  this  is  going  to  sound  bad.  but  hear  me  out.

[  TXT  ]  :  don’t  ask  why.  just  wear  black.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  need  you  to  lie  for  me.

[  TXT  ]  :  be  honest.  are  you  flirting  with  me  or  am  i  delusional?

[  TXT  ]  :  i  can’t  sleep.  tell  me  something  interesting.

[  TXT  ]  :  stop  looking  at  me  like  that.

[  TXT  ]  :  remind  me  why  we’re  pretending  this  is  nothing.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  almost  texted  you.  deleted  it.  this  is  attempt  two.

[  TXT  ]  :  are  you  trying  to  ruin  my  life  or  just  my  self  control?

[  TXT  ]  :  tell  me  you’re  thinking  about  me.  i  need  proof.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  miss  you.  i  hate  that  i  do.

[  TXT  ]  :  don’t  come  over.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  shouldn’t  ask  this.  but  are  you  alone?

[  TXT  ]  :  every  song  sounds  like  you.  explain  yourself.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  keep  rereading  old  messages.  don’t  judge  me.

[  TXT  ]  :  say  something  that  will  make  me  stay.

[  TXT  ]  :  if  i  show  up.  will  you  let  me  in?

[  TXT  ]  :  i  don’t  know  how  to  want  you  quietly.

[  TXT  ]  :  do  you  ever  think  about  what  we  almost  were?

[  TXT  ]  :  this  is  me  being  brave.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  miss  the  way  you  used  to  look  at  me.

[  TXT  ]  :  tell  me  to  stop.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ💋ɞ˚‧｡⋆  𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝  𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫  𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭

[  TXT  ]  :  quick.  no  time  to  explain.  pick  one:  frogs  or  lasers.

[  TXT  ]  :  why  are  you  still  awake?

[  TXT  ]  :  what  would  you  do  if  i  texted  “i’m  outside”  and  actually  was?

[  TXT  ]  :  would  you  still  like  me  if  i  was  a  worm?  be  honest.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  dare  you  to  stop  thinking  about  me  for  one  minute.  bet  you  can’t.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  saw  something  shiny  and  dramatic  and  thought  of  you.

[  TXT  ]  :  wanna  make  bad  decisions  together  or  what?

[  TXT  ]  :  how  illegal  would  it  be  if  i  showed  up  with  a  raccoon  in  a  cowboy  hat?

[  TXT  ]  :  you  looked  hot  today  btw.  not  that  you  asked.

[  TXT  ]  :  do  you  want  the  good  news,  the  bad  news,  or  the  chaotic  news  first?

[  TXT  ]  :  okay,  so  hear  me  out. cereal  is  basically  cold  soup,  right?

[  TXT  ]  :  what’s  your  villain  origin  story?

[  TXT  ]  :  thinking  about  you.  thought  you  should  know.

[  TXT  ]  :  if  we  were  in  a  rom-com,  this  is  the  part  where  we’d  kiss  in  the  rain.  just  saying.

[  TXT  ]  :  what’s  your  toxic  trait  in  uno?

[  TXT  ]  :  if  i  say  something  reckless,  will  you  pretend  you  didn’t  hear  it?

[  TXT  ]  :  how  mad  would  you  be  if  i  said  “let’s  get  matching  tattoos”  and  meant  it?

[  TXT  ]  :  i  hope  something  good  happens  to  you  today.  like,  you  find  five  dollars.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  have  a  plan.  it’s  chaotic  and  underdeveloped.  you  in?

[  TXT  ]  :  you  make  my  brain  go  all  soft.  thanks  a  lot.

[  TXT  ]  :  which  one  of  us  would  survive  a  horror  movie?  and  who’d  die  in  the  dumbest  way?

[  TXT  ]  :  i  just  caused  a  scene  at  the  grocery  store.  be  ready  to  alibi  me.

[  TXT  ]  :  what’s  something  that  always  makes  you  smile?

[  TXT  ]  :  do  you  think  we’d  get  banned  from  a  museum  if  we  tried  hard  enough?

[  TXT  ]  :  i’m  bored.  flirt  with  me.

[  TXT  ]  :  tell  me  a  secret  you’ve  never  said  out  loud.

[  TXT  ]  :  if  you  were  here  right  now,  what  would  we  be  doing?

[  TXT  ]  :  be  honest.  did  you  think  about  me  today?

[  TXT  ]  :  if  i  told  you  i  missed  you,  would  you  say  it  back  or  leave  me  on  read?

[  TXT  ]  :  what’s  your  comfort  movie  and  do  you  wanna  watch  it  with  me?

[  TXT  ]  :  you’re  my  favorite  notification.  don’t  make  it  weird.

some various character analysis questions based off of space &&. the bodies that inhabit it. feel free to edit as you see fit.

[ MERCURY ] is your muse good at communication ? can they hold a proper conversation, or are they always finding an excuse to avoid small talk ?

[ VENUS ] how does your muse handle love ? do they believe themself to be deserving of it, and how capable are they of loving others ?

[ EARTH ] how grounded is your muse ? are they logical and straightforward, or are do they always have their head in the clouds ?

[ MARS ] when your muse gets angry, how does it show ? do they know how to control it, or do they let it consume them ?

[ JUPITER ] how does your muse see morality ? what do the words good and evil mean to them ?

[ SATURN ] is your muse all work and no play ? do they let responsibility consume them, or do they allow themselves breaks from time to time ?

[ URANUS ] can your muse handle change ? do they accept it with open arms, or will they try anything they can to make sure things say the same ?

[ NEPTUNE ] does your muse dream frequently ? if they do, what kind of dreams (or nightmares) do they have ?

[ PLUTO ] what is your muse's relationship with individuality ? do they feel that they need permission to be themself ?

[ CERES ] does your muse take care of themself ? do they neglect their needs to put others first ?

[ PALLAS ] how perceptive is your muse ? can they pick up on things other people don't ?

"Hey pal. You just blow in from Stupidtown?"

"BOO, YOU STINK!!!"

"Oh no, he's/she's/they're hot!"

"We paid nine dollars for this?"

"The nerve of that guy and his driving eyeballs."

"I've never felt such a strange combination of pity... and indigestion."

"You took my ONLY FOOD!!! Now I'm gonna starve!!!"

"BACKING UP! BACKING UP! BACKING UP!"

"Your ceiling is talking to me!!!"

"What am I running here, a nuthouse?"

"It's not just a boulder...! It's a rock!"

"You have no skills and you're a LOSERRR!"

"I have a really bad feeling in the pit of my wallet."

"Liar liar, plants for hire."

"THE MANIAC'S IN THE MAILBOX!!!"

"Did you see my underwear? ...Did you want to."

"I had a bowl of nails for breakfast this morning... without any milk."

"You'll never catch me, ___! Not after I shift into... MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!"

"How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?"

"WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIIIS!?!"

"I'm ugly and I'm proud."

"I don't need it... I don't need it..."

"IIIII NEEEEEEED IIIIIIIT!!!!!!!"

"This is a load of barnaclllleeees..."

"Pull your pants up, ___. We're going home."

"You think this is funny???"

"WELL, mister FUNNY MAN... IS THIS HOW YOU GET YOUR SICK KICKS?"

"That thing's green! BAHAHAHA... GREEN!!!"

"Just you, me, and this brick wall you built between us."

"Fiiirmly grasp it."

"FLAPPIN'-FLOTSAM, WHAT'S THAT?!?!?"

"Just do what I do when I have problems. SCREAM!!!"

"Would anyone else like to enter the "Fly of Despair"?"

"I'M THE OPEN-WINDOW MANIAAAC!"

"We should have bought the whoopie cushion...!"

"Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets."

"I believe that... EVERYBODY I KNOW IS A GONERRR!!!"

"Where's the road? Road? Road? Road? Road? Ro-- ...Sorry."

"No, no, it's not GAAAAAAWAAAWAAAAA."

"I'll give 'em eleven minutes."

"I CAN DENY IT NO LONGER...! ...I am small."

"THE ROBOTS ARE RUNNING THE NAVY!"

(Feel free to change pronouns, or whatever else!)

“EW, he’s wearing a speedo- WHY ARE THEY ALL WEARING SPEEDOS?!”

“SEVEN YEARS OF BAD LUCK”

“How is he alive?”

“That’s like the McDonalds workers saying ‘you’re a disappointment’.”

“He’s gonna get hurt so bad.”

“Pain times two.”

“OHHHhh my God, he snapped him in the balls.”

“KARMA, little child!”

“Are you tryna kill your dad?”

“Ugh, an ad.” (Pronounced like UGG)

“He- he was DANCING across that road.”

“It’s- did you just do that on ice??”

“That’s that one neighbor’s stray cat that hates him.”

“(In a deep voice) Somebody’s going to die tonight~”

“Why were they dancing around the car? Were they having a party?”

“That’s such a nice house tho”

“‘Cause it’s oooooOOHHHH no-”

“That looks like a fancy Texas wedding.”

^ My friend: “I wanna have a fancy Texas wedding, but I’m too broke to :(“

“Oh, it’s overrrr- ya gotta turn on another one.”

“It’s a turkey! He has EVERYTHING wrong with him.”

“Oi, what you doin’?”

“Predator becomes prey…”

“A ski lift? I remember falling off one of those!”

“Ohh my God he just lost his job”

“*dramatic gasp* That was MEAN!”

“The pain…”

“Why was it alive?”

“I’m sorry-… wait, keep laying on my feet! That was cute.”

“Awwwww what a fail”

“*gasps loudly* His skateboard was the victim, and AND HE WASN’T!”

“Ohhh, that was ALMOST convincing.”

“That just got cringy-er.”

“IT’S A PIG!!! And it looks like a bison!”

“Oh shit… he was trying to be a hero…!”

“Lightsaber power!”

“HER HAIR…”

“Oh no, people are gonna die!”

“Me car’s broke!”

“They always say ‘no one was harmed’. I think everyone was harmed.”

“Why all the nutshots??”

“Oh, I love Jason Aldean.”

“You’re fired.”

“Oop! Get eated.”

“Oh fuck he’s fucked.”

“…that sounds like… OUR logic right now.”

“That looks like [name]”

“The nearest cat?”

“He looks like a furry carrot!”

“*gasp* That’s MY DRESSER- they have the same dresser as me!!”

“Ass smack!”

“Oh, that- that’s not red, that’s pink.”

“UM. WHY’S HE SMILING LIKE THAT?”

“Those eyelids tho”

“Crunchy crunchy!”

“Look at him! Look at his mustache!!”

“Is it pissing?”

“Sharp, murderous toe beans!”

“WHA-????????”

“…Foxy screeeech!”

“Woah… oh my God, a sinkhole!”

“That’s freakin’ me out!”

“That’s, like, the ‘alien’ ringtone on some phones. Loud and earsplitting.”

“He’s the king, of course not.”

“Uh! Rude.”

“N- no, no- cats don’t NEED reasons to be angry! They just fight a lot!”

“THAT’S LIKE A DINOSAUR HISS!!!!!!”

“No, I don’t know where you are. *pauses* Oh, wait, yeah I know who you are.”

“My brain is a rebel, but I’M not. I’m a cowardly lion.”

“Oh my God! He looks feral.”

“Is that a laugh or a fake cry…?”

“What the fffffff-! What the-… what was THAT?!”

“That’s not what I thought it was…”

“Open-mouth shower-… [name], that’s scary!”

“Side-eye.”

“Yeet. Oh, ow.”

“Slippy-slip?”

“Uh-oh! Ohhh, that’s not the ‘soft’ snow, either…”

“Even the police car!”

“Ooh, am I having hypoxia…?”

“Bruh, that’s just how people are.”

“He’s talking excessively, like me.”

“Thought that was a Toyota commercial. Oops.”

“Public disgrace…”

“[Name/cat’s name] is, like, the definition of a lightweight cat.”

“Oh! Uh… that was wild.”

“Ohhh, the babies are snuggling, kind of-“

“You just spooked yourself awake!”

“Whoever’s radio someone’s talking in, I think he’s British.”

“It did, like, THREE 360s!”

“My therapist is gonna laugh when I read these to her…”

“Something’s already going on there… oh, not anymore.”

“Oh, what a time to pull back into traffic! …but they DID wait three hours to be rescued…”

“That looked vaguely like teleportation.”

“White Kia isn’t Wiz Kalifa. Misread it. Got it.”

“Heh. ‘Going TOO fast’…”

“Ooh, a snowcloud!”

“QC, Canada…? Oh. Quebec.”

“‘The driver is driving’…?!”

“Teslas are snow leopards now-? What?”

feel free to change pronouns, wording, etc. as needed!

VERBAL.

“ sit.”

“ down.”

“ stay.”

“ come!”

“ wait.”

“ drop it.”

“ attack.”

“ play dead.”

“ good girl / boy!”

“ do you know [command]?”

“ you’re a little trickster, aren’t you?”

“ you want to go for a walk?”

“ you want to play?”

“ whoa, easy there. i’m not gonna hurt you.” 

“ you hungry?”

“ you’re so cute!”

“ no begging.”

(quietly) “ please don’t see me, please don’t see me…”

“ oh my god, a (insert type of animal here)”

“ sorry, bud, i’m allergic. but you’re really cute.”

“ don’t give me that look.”

NON-VERBAL.

[pet head]

[pet stomach]

[pet back]

[scratch ear]

[toss ball]

[toss frisbee]

[play tug of war]

[offer food]

[give small treat]

[give water]

[brush fur]

[play catch]

[extend hand towards]

[sit down onto their level]

[bathe them]

[pick up/carry]

[ride]

[try to help them with an injury]

[give hug]

[give a kiss on the head]

[ignore them]

[comfort/calm them]

[stand tall/appear larger]

[slowly back away]

[try to run away]

[yell at / try to intimidate]

[avoid direct eye-contact]

[maintain direct eye-contact]

[play dead]

[stand still]

[climb a tree]

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