Barbie Privé

Q: Can I be an escort without having sex with clients?  A: No.

Q: But my friend’s cousin says she gets paid $500/hour just to go out to dinner and social events with men. A: She’s lying.

Q: Can I be a stripper without getting naked/nearly naked? A: No.

Q: Can I be a stripper without talking to or touching men? A: No.

Q: Can I be a stripper but not do lap dances and just go on stage to show off my awesome pole skills that I learned in class? A: I guess, if you want to make zero money. The tips you make on stage might not even cover your stage fee and tips outs. At some clubs you might only go on stage once or twice in an eight hour shift. At some clubs your stage fees might be like $200/shift. That’s money you pay to the club, not that the club pays you. 

Q: How can I find a platonic sugar daddy? I need an allowance of at least $8000/month. A: Hahahahaha. 

Q: I’m a queer woman. Can I be a sex worker who only has queer/female/anyone but cishet men for clientele? A: No. 

Q: You have the best job in the world! I’m a straight man and I want to get paid to have sex. A: You’re gonna have to have sex with dudes. 

Q: I’m AFAB but non-binary. How do I find clients that will respect my they pronouns? I can’t tolerate being misgendered.  A: Okay, good luck with that. Most clients are clueless old men and not exactly progressive.

Q: Can I be a sex worker even though I’m triggered by anything even remotely sexual? A: No.

Hi, how are you? I’m a hoe. I love spending my time obtaining money and business advice from your bosses and fathers. If you had a child…I dealt with their “grandpappies.”  These dates can range from me sharing a toast to penis in my vagina. It varies.  Today, we are going to discuss how I have benefited from the sex worker world. 

Disclaimer: I’m not advocating to pursue this.  If you are interested in this lifestyle please look at the pictures of the cars, money stacks, purses and goals and understand there was a process to this. A mouth, a hand, a hole and a persona. The side effects can range from emotional trauma, no money discipline, forced libido, lack of emotion, nausea, possible danger and the worst a STD. 

Now we covered the introduction, let’s begin. 

Fiscal Management- Before sex work, it would take me a minute to know what was going on in my wallet. Seeing my bank balance only occurred when they told me I didn’t have enough funds. Then, I started dating men and wanted to make sure I was getting $600, $800, $2500, $5, I CHECKED IT. 1,2,3,4,5. Baby it’s missing a $10. Oh you counted it right? (start swiping the cash) You see, you see that $10 would make it full. (him going into his wallet)

Long Term Finances- I’m black so I’m going to speak on my experience from my black family. We weren’t taught about long term financial goals, we were taught whatever you make is based on how much you are willing to work. You work till your back hurt, you making money. When I started getting involved in sex work, men would laugh at my thought process. “You know you can make money without working?” I assumed they were alluding to pyramid schemes or turn the $50 to $5,000 scam. Whatchu talking about?

I learned and I’m happy to have gave them the space to tell me directly, this is the trades you need to know about, the bank to go to, Hancock fee, premiums and etc. I can say I make money in my sleep too. Now I can take pussy breaks, YAYYYYYYYYYYY. YAYYYYYYY. 

Mental Health- There are men who excel at everything because are deficient in emotional interaction. Men are taught to “man up” or not to express their emotions and this can lead to trauma, or difficulty communicating when angry. It was scary dealing with powerful men and dealing adolescent or suspicious behavior. This led me to take care of myself. It didn’t matter if my therapist said nothing was wrong with me, I needed to make sure I could express and rationalize my decisions to make sure I wouldn’t be the 50 something year old who have a temper tantrum when you tell him no. There were times I thought I was a hostage negotiator. Are you seriously losing your temper because I said no to something I told before I wouldn’t do? 

More Opportunities- I’m the sex worker, who actually doesn’t want to dwell on intimacy. Tell me something I could to ameliorate myself so I don’t have to do sex work until I’m in a nursing home. I have bought my resumes, cover letters, essays, elevator pitches, life insurance forms and etc to dates. The most recent opportunity that was given to me was through my last boyfriend. He read my drafts and gave it to his friend, who is very important. We met for lunch and he bought his colleagues and asked me if I really wrote this. One thing led to another and I have been writing for them and getting money. I’m talking about the money I thought I wasn’t going to see. I’m a few thousands away from being a millionaire because I used my vagina on the right one. 

Decreased My Obsession With Fitting The Mold: When I first started, I was an observer to the lifestyle. I would read stories and pictures of women who obtained arrangements and clients. None of them looked like me. This made feel awkward. My hair is huge, wonderfully curly, my breasts are a little saggy will I fit the mold? I didn’t but I still got men who were into me. As I said on previous posts, men are willing to be with any woman who challenges or captures his attention. Just look at their first wife…I’m kidding. Your vagina got the ring and I got the deposit, WE BOTH WINNING!

How To Network-When you date a lot of men you are able to categorize their personality by their profession. Therefore, I’m able to think about topics that will instantly attract a man in hedge fund and topics for a stock trader. For example, I’m speaking to a doctor, the first thing I’m going to talk about “What are your views about the medication by xyz? Does it have the same results as the medication that was in recall in 2009? You see the hoe can improvise.

I hope this post gave you another perspective of this world.You can make it to what you want for yourself. S W to me is like garlic salt, use a little bit for your life but don’t make it the only ingredient. You need pepper, onion powder, scallion, maggi cubes, thyme if you fancy. 

ACNE • melaleuca • juniper berry

ADDICTION • grapefruit (dissipates cravings, detoxes) • basil (clears negative thought patterns) • bergamot (empowerment & self worth) • peppermint (emotional recovery)

ALLERGIES • basil, rosemary (reduces inflammation) • lemon (decongests & reduces mucus) • melaleuca • lavender • peppermint (discharges phlegm & reduces inflammation)

ATHLETIC • peppermint (pre-exercise) • lemongrass (connective tissue support) • marjoram (muscle support)

ANXIETY • lavender (calming, stress relief) • orange (energizes & reduces anxiety & depression) • lemon • vetiver (focus, sedative) • ylang ylang • roman chamomile (confidence)

BRAIN • sandalwood (optimal brain function & repair) • frankincense (anti-aging) • honeysuckle, lilac, peppermint (concentration) • cedarwood, petitgrain (calms, stimulates & protects brain) • rosemary (enhances cognitive performance, relieves mental fatigue) • clove, thyme (protective antioxidants) • vetiver, lavender, clary sage, cedarwood (focus & calm)

BRUISES • helichrysum • geranium • fennel

COURAGE • musk • iris • rose • geranium

DEPRESSION • lemon • douglas fir • frankincense • lavender • bergamot • clary sage • geranium • jasmine • lemongrass • sandalwood • rose • wild orange • ylang ylang

DETOX • grapefruit (antioxidant, detoxes liver) • lemon (antioxidant, detoxes chemicals) • lemongrass • clove (antioxidant, cleanses blood & cells)

EATING DISORDER • grapefruit (helps heal relationship with body) • patchouli (body acceptance) • bergamot (balances hormones, promotes self-worth) • cinnamon (balances metabolism, sense of safety)

ENERGY / FATIGUE • white fir • basil • lemon • clove • cypress • grapefruit • lemongrass • rosemary • wild orange

FEVER • peppermint • lemon • lime • eucalyptus • clove

FIBROMYALGIA • basil • black pepper • cinnamon • cypress • douglas fir/white fir • thyme • marjoram • peppermint • rosemary

FIRST AID • clove (numbing wounds) • frankincense (universal healing properties) • helichrysum (stop bleeding, pain relief) • lavender (shock) • lemon, melaleuca (antiseptic) • lemongrass, marjoram (muscle/cramp relief) • oregano (anti-inflammatory, antibacterial/antiviral) • peppermint (nausea/vomiting, burn care, pain relief)

FLU • melaleuca • peppermint • rosemary

HAIR • cedarwood (anti-dandruff, hair growth, split ends) • clary sage, geranium, lavender (helps with brittle hair) • arborvitae (hair loss)

HEADACHE / MIGRAINE • peppermint • rosemary • basil • helichrysum • roman chamomile • frankincense • lavender • peppermint • wintergreen

HEALING • carnation • eucalyptus • lotus • myrrh • rosemary • sandalwood • narcissus

HEART HEALTH • cypress (blood circulation) • ylang ylang (reduces high blood pressure) • marjoram • helichrysum (repairs blood vessels, stops bleeding, resolves low blood pressure) • black pepper • geranium

IMMUNE SYSTEM • cassia, clove, eucalyptus, frankincense, ginger, lemon, lime, rosemary, spearmint, white fir, melissa, vetiver, wild orange (immunostimulant) • black pepper (digestion, boosts immunity) • melaleuca, cinnamon, thyme (antibacterial, antiviral)

INDIGESTION • black pepper, cardamom, fennel, ginger, wild orange, grapefruit, peppermint (stomach) • basil, cardamom, ginger, marjoram, grapefruit (intestines) • basil, cilantro, geranium, grapefruit, helichrysum, lemon, rosemary (liver)

INSOMNIA • lavender (calms, relaxes) • vetiver (grounding) • orange • Roman chamomile (sedative, balances hormones) • spikenard

NAILS • arborvitae, cypress, eucalyptus, geranium, fennel, frankincense (weak nails) • eucalyptus, lemon, melaleuca (yellow nails)

NAUSEA • ginger • peppermint

PAIN RELIEF • helichrysum • wintergreen • peppermint, black pepper (reduces inflammation) • ginger • basil, rosemary (improves circulation & healing)

PAST LIVES • lilac • sandalwood

PEACE / HARMONY • basil • gardenia • lilac • narcissus • benzoin • magnolia • rose • tuberose

PMS / CRAMPS • clary sage • lemongrass, marjoram (muscle/cramp relief) • peppermint • marjoram

POWER • carnation • rosemary • vanilla

PROTECTION • cyprus • myrrh • patchouli • rose • geranium • rue • violet • rosemary

PSYCHIC POWERS • acacia • anise • cassia • heliotrope • lilac • mimosa

RESPIRATORY • melaleuca • eucalyptus • rosemary • black pepper • douglas fir • cardamom • frankincense • peppermint 

SEX / LIBIDO • jasmine, ylang ylang, bergamot, clary sage (libido) • cinnamon, clove, rose, coriander, patchouli (aphrodisiac) • basil, bergamot, birch, black pepper (stimulating) • musk • violet • neroli • vanilla • stephanori 

URINARY TRACT INFECTION • lemongrass • thyme • eucalyptus • cardamom

WEIGHT LOSS • grapefruit (reduces cravings, induces fat burning) • cinnamon (balances blood sugar) • peppermint, ginger (reduces cravings, feel fuller)