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I think aliens would find astronauts charming with their stocky limbs and helmets that look like a big shiny eyeball. I think they would own marketable plushies of them or perhaps a labubu style keychain

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look man, like i told you, the "infectious laughter" and "zest for life" have been recalled by the FDA. you gonna buy anything or ... ?

fortune cookies providing personality analysis instead of predicting good things is a recession indicator

Me: yeah i also knew a guy who was "in partibus infidelium", his fiancee was pissed and it was a whole big thing

Pope: I keep telling you ... that is NOT what it means.

Me: whatever man, i'm agnostic

Pope: *turns to You, the viewer* Did you imagine me as a "man Pope" while you were reading this?

#and ... poast

they gotta invent sports old people are good at

#not me though im still spry

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yeah i know exactly what it is, it's a total je sais quoi. no i wont share

themysteriousmurasamecastle

toaster-os

the problem with doggystyle is that she gets to be the dog and im supposed to, what, style?

aborted nihilist: yeah i guess im fine with it

babushkaat

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just me and my wallet moth against the world

#my squire if you will

my thought bubbles keep drifting into the popcorn ceiling and bursting :(

json-derulo

that’s a fool’s errand. a jester’s chore, if you will. a real clown’s appointment

bappindat-blog

Receptionist at Pagliacci's doctor's office:

corsairesix

Guy who has only seen The Boss Baby, watching his second movie: I don't know if non-baby stories can work in film

corsairesix

Guy who has only seen The Boss Baby, watching his second movie: How can you do horror in movies? It just wouldn't work with the babies?

corsairesix

Guy who has only seen The Boss Baby, but has also heard of Hotel Transylvania: Sure, horror can work in movies. Hotel Transylvania has vampires in it.

corsairesix

Guy who has only seen The Boss Baby, and refuses to watch another movie: Why do you need other movies when you can write Boss Baby fanfiction?

corsairesix

Guy who has only seen The Boss Baby, and has been forced to watch Rear Window: I wrote Rear Window fanfiction where Jimmy Stewart is a baby, and it wasn't very good. I just don't think this movie works.

corsairesix

Guy who has only seen The Boss Baby, and has also watched Storks (2016): The Boss Baby sucks, watch Storks.

i bet if you put the wheel of time and the wheel of fortune together you would have one hell of a bike

#i arrive late but it works out in the end

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

last night was a sumptuous tapestry bro

hoping fame will change me

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