₍ ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ ₎

"Such pretty feathers." Letting a gloved finger scratch at his chest just beneath his throat, the bird in turn trills at the compliment. More land close by but do not broach your space just yet, turning their heads with curiosity, with impatient gazes wondering if they will be held next.

"You are distracting them." A frigid, smooth voice calls out behind you, glancing over your shoulder at the wild crow you hold in your hand.

"What's a little reward for being such a good scout?" A wind chime of a giggle tumbles from your soft lips, "All work and no play makes you..."

You look over your shoulder for a moment, locking contact with his brown eyes, unable to contain your giggle before you add, "Well it makes you Genau."

With that the black bird in your hand and those overhead laugh with you. Genau wears the same mask he always has, handsome features in a neutral setting, unwavering disinterest.

Yet still you see something stirring under his ever bored gaze.

The birds erupt into a flutter with a simple wave of his hand, sending out his "eyes" across the paths around the village for any possible disturbances, if one is found that is the direction you two would find yourselves set in.

The angry pout you give him has yet to sway him this way or that, or so you think. Glaring up at him with murderous intent the same way a cat does their human companions.

"Your tea is getting cold." He says simply, giving you his back before he walks into the cabin the village was kind enough to let the two of you stay in, "We may not have time for such luxuries as hot tea and soft pastries."

"I prefer my tea warm. Not everyone likes it scalding like you." A scoff, still Genau hears crunching snow following closer to the threshold, "You keep saying that and each time we do not have to travel far."

You continue in your complaints now that he has soured your mood temporarily although, as before he is not paying attention. Not fully anyway.

Not because he is letting your half hearted complaints slide off his back but because he is too busy replaying what he had just seen.

Not you holding the bird, oh no, he's seen that thousands of times now. This time, that cheeky wild crow, alerted Genau piquing his attention.

Getting him to look through the inky black eyes of the feathered scout. The angle tilted, your smile wide, cooing down at how handsome the bird was.

Something about it provokes a reaction, a hot sticky feeling weighing heavy in Genau's chest. A warmth he isn't sure he has felt since he was a boy.

The dishware clattering draws his attention, your fist on the table, your cute little angry cat like glare as you point a sharp claw at his face.

"See! You don't even listen!" You whine, before falling back into your chair dramatically. Picking around the edges of your pastry that is a bit 'too done.'

"I do. Not everything you say elicits a response."

He has earned your ire now, your true rage. He watches you sit up straight, watches your lively eyes darken in a matter reserved for conflicts or fights.

You rise, grabbing for your fur lined jacket without a word, leaving without so much as a slam of the door.

Good, this was what he needed, the distance, the cold hearted version of you.

Not how the crow saw you, now how the villagers do, with your sweet smile, your honied words or sharp tongue for those who were rude.

Genau was dressing himself when you stirred, sitting up to admire him while you basked in the afterglow of your encounter.

“Leaving so soon?”

He paused, then continued reaching for his shirt.

“I’m leaving AuBerst in the morning.” Was his answer. You knew he wouldn’t stay, he never did. But that still never stopped you from silently hoping he might.

“Back to the northern plateau then?” You moved your legs over the edge of the bed, sitting up properly and pulling on your robe, “How long will you be gone this time?”

Genau didn’t answer that question, he never did. You knew what he would’ve said if he were a less disciplined man. An unspoken if he returned hung between you.

Instead he set a coin down, a strahl gold one. Far more than you’d ever charged him, and you’d stopped charging him long ago. Yet he still paid you for your services.

“You know I stopped charging you years ago, right?”

“I’m aware, that’s not a very good business practice for someone like you.”

You smiled, “You’ve always been my best customer.”

And your first customer. He’d arrived in AuBerst the first night you started your business, desperate for coin to settle a debt you’d long since repaid. Genau had been much younger then, so were you. A traveling companion that had taken a liking to him purchased your services for him, a reward for getting him to the city safely it seemed. Despite his frosty attitude, his touch had been kind.

Genau made a low noise, finishing the buttons on his shirt.

His touch was still kind. Firmer now than it had been, and familiar with your body.

“You should stay.” You stood, keeping your voice gentle and welcoming. You meant it, you wanted him to stay for once, “I’ll make tea.”

He had a chair at the table for him, he always did. A dedicated chair and a dedicated teacup. And you always kept a good black tea on hand, one he had brought you once on a whim. You busied yourself making that tea now, keeping your one sided conversation going.

“Will you be going alone or will there be another mage with you?” You asked as you measured out the tea leaves, not expecting an answer. Maybe it was too soon to ask such a question. But you hadn’t heard the door close yet.

“I won’t be alone. A new first class mage will be coming with me.” Genau said it so flatly you would have almost thought he hated the very idea, but you knew him better, “Methode is her name.”

“Methode.” You repeated, a hopeful smile tugging at your lips, “A lovely name.” You hoped to meet her one day, if Genau saw fit.

You could hear Genau pull out his chair, the wood creaking slightly as he sat. As curt as he was, he knew his manners and he knew it would have been rude to disappear when you were making him tea. Your smile grew, satisfied that you had caught him before he could leave.

“I’m relieved you won’t be alone.” You said it plainly, leaving everything you weren’t saying to hang in the air between you, even though your hands had paused in preparing the tea. He had returned alone the last time. You remembered sitting across from him at the table, his tea cold and untouched. He was sitting so close to you but yet was so far away at the same time, you worried for him, it was the first time you weren’t able to read him.

You tried not to think about how this could be the last time you saw Genau.

Genau spoke your name, an attempt at reassurance and softness that came out as measured and arms length as it always did.

“But I shouldn’t worry, should I? You’re a first class mage, perfectly capable of returning to AuBerst as you always have!” You tried to be chipper, finishing preparing the tea and turning to bring it to the table. You poured Genau’s cup first, then your own, “And when you return you’ll come back here and pay me a visit, as always.”

It was all for you. A simple lie that made it less painful watching him leave, a simple lie that comforted you, that didn’t betray the feelings you confined to your chest. Genau knew this. He’d known this for years. Since the first time he’d stayed the night without bedding you, the first time you carded your fingers through his hair and hummed a pleased note when he buried his face in your chest, since the first time you hadn’t charged him. Even before you had told him you were no longer taking clients.

He knew you loved him. And maybe part of him had come to love you too. If that’s what he could call it, it wasn’t anything like what he was told falling in love would be like. His heart did not race at the thought of you, but twice he had seen a piece of jewelry that he thought would suit you, once he had bought you a pair of earrings you now wore. He had never wrote you letters, but he still kept the one letter you had sent him tucked away in a Grimoire. He knew he slept better in your bed with you, he knew that he was silently glad you weren’t a mage, that you lived in AuBerst.

Maybe it was love he felt for you. But was it enough? Wouldn’t it have been kinder to cut you loose, and let you move on with your life? You weren’t much older than him. You could have been living a better life if you weren’t tethered to him. Even still, wasn’t it also your choice?

“Why do you wait for me?” The question left him before he could stop himself. You paused, tea cup halfway to your mouth only to be set back down onto the saucer. He felt the need to speak more, “I can’t give you the life you deserve. You would be better off giving your heart to someone else.”

“I never asked you to give me anything.” You corrected, sitting upright in your chair, “And my feelings are mine and mine alone to give.”

Genau held your gaze for a beat, you could see him searching for words to say. Any justification he could give to deny what he was refusing to admit. You knew he loved you.

“I’ve been described as cold hearted.” Genau warned, “I’ll never be the lover you need.”

“A frozen heart is still a heart, right?” You had said it plainly, the matter of fact nature painting your feelings clear as day, but just in case Genau was still denying it, you continued to explain, “I’m not asking for you to give up your life and stay. All I ask is when the time comes, you continue to come home to me.”

“I may not come home.” He said it outright, no longer dancing around an unspoken truth, “I don’t want anyone to mourn me if I die. Especially not you, I’m not worth that.”

You shook your head, “It’s my choice if I do. You don’t get to decide for me- but if you insist on not making me mourn…”

You reached across the table, taking Genau’s hand in yours. Your hand squeezed his, and he returned the gesture after a moment, his grasp lingering as he waited for your next words.

“Don’t die out there.” It was easier said than done, and accepting the promise would mean lying to you, “At least, not without trying to come home.”

The caveat softened it. And Genau exhaled, his shoulders dropping ever so slightly. He adjusted his grasp, now cradling your fingers as he stood and rounded the table. Not once did he let go of your hand, not once did he break eye contact with you. Once in front of you, he lowered himself to a knee, pulling your fingers to his lips. He then moved your hand to his chest, the steady drum of his heartbeat was soon under your hand.

“You hold my heart.” He whispered, “I expect you to take care of it while I’m gone.”

“I’ll keep it safe.” You promised.

Genau turned his gaze from your hand to your face. He dropped his other knee, kneeling upright to capture your face in his hands and kiss you.

“Shall I take this as a proposal then?” You asked when he pulled away.